Chapter 16 #2
This was dangerous. Maybe she was beginning to see the darkness inside. Perhaps she had stopped believing my promises could change anything.
Maybe I was, too.
We argued about nothing after that, the small, stupid as fuck domestic weapons lovers wield when something bigger is bruising them both.
She asked me to eat before I left. I said no. She packed me a sandwich anyway and shoved it in my backpack like it was a talisman against the cold. She kissed me at the door. Her kisses tasted like lipstick and perfume. Nothing like…
Carrington.
Outside, near my damn car, the asshole was resting on a pillar. The street smelled like the rain from last night and our sins. He was fully dressed for once. Even having sweatpants seemed to take effort.
“What are you doing by my car, Care Bear?”
He didn’t answer. Instead, he opened the door when I clicked the button and slid into my passenger seat. My steps faltered, and I stared at him for a minute.
“Listen, Sunshine. My sister may be too stupid to realize what you meant by your mystery trip, but I’m not.
And as the fucking mayor of daddy issues, I know you can’t do this alone.
So save yourself the air it will take to argue with me, and just know, I’m going.
And I will be on my best behavior if you blow. ”
My jaw tightened, and I gave him a look of incredulity at his stupidity. But a part of me felt a twinge at the fact that he wanted to be with me because he knew this would hurt, no matter the outcome.
“Don’t you have fucking work to do? Like more of your dead bodies to clean up?”
Carrington snickered. “Actually, no, someone has the cops chasing their tails, and shockingly, the killers of this town are quiet. They must be preoccupied or being nice and shit.”
I rolled my eyes. It was not surprising at all that Carrington was the reason he was employed, by keeping bodies piling up. Profitable business if you were the damn executioner.
“Annnd,” he sang, grabbing something from his pocket. I grimaced at the crunched-up crackers with a candle on it. “I meant blow out your candle, birthday boy.”
“You do realize I work in healthcare and wouldn’t consume that if my life depended on it, right?” I said, unable to keep from laughing. “Not to mention the candle isn’t lit, idiot.”
Carrington smirked and stuck the crumbled mess near his crotch. “Hmm, Guess it needs a spark then.”
I sighed at the idiot and got into my car. I was too tired to fight with him. He wouldn’t leave my car even if I threatened bodily harm. Hell, he’d probably enjoy that more if I did. Silence was the most effective punishment for a man like Carrington Harding.
My mind, however, was screaming. I wouldn’t admit it, but having him here was probably for the best. If he wasn’t here to keep me moving in the direction of the penitentiary, I might have veered off the road or a cliff, whichever came first.
“So,” Carrington shouted, disturbing the quiet peace of the humming engine and light music playing.
We hadn’t even gotten far from the mansion, and he was already making incessantly annoying noises with his mouth.
“What we doin’ for fun? I-spy? We’re going on a picnic? —Oh! I know, twenty questions.”
I scrubbed my hand down my face, wondering if I could make up an excuse to exile his ass at a gas station,
“I’ll go first. What’s your favorite color? Mine’s obviously red, like the color of your skin when I bite it. And blood.”
Of course, he was that predictable. Can’t say I’m surprised. Did I really think it would be fuchsia? But what was my favorite color? In truth, my answer was always green. But now, I couldn’t stop looking at the gold of Carrington’s eyes.
“Uh. Yellow. I guess.”
Carrington mulled that over and snickered. “Heh. Makes sense. Sunshine is yellow.”
I shook my head and kept driving.
“Your turn. What burning questions do you want to ask me?”
What was there to ask? Why me? Why did you choose me to break open, causing me constantly to lose my own sanity? Am I fucking gay?
I guess…bisexual.
“Why are you so damn annoying?”
Carrington laughed and waved a hand dismissively. “Oh, that’s too easy. Years of solitude with only my own chaotic mind to entertain me. Pick something real, Sunshine.”
We had too much in common. He lived in a fucking mansion, and I lived in an orphanage, but we were both just as alone growing up.
Xanthy had to have been immune to everything, sheltered by their mother, and distracted by all the flashy gifts that replaced the love she didn’t get from anyone…
other than their maids and servants. Carrington didn’t seem to be fazed by anything new and shiny, except for, well, me.
“Fine. Why me, Care Bear? Why have you chased me down and unraveled me since I stepped through the door of your family’s mansion?”
Unlike the other times, he sat there and contemplated his answer long enough that I looked over at him and watched as he chewed his bottom lip and ran his tongue over those damn piercings.
“I don’t know,” he admitted, a foreign sense of something equivalent to shyness laced through his soft tone.
“You are the first person I have ever met who puts on the same mask I do. I guess it feels…good to be with you. I don’t have to put on a show, and I enjoy watching your facade break little by little for me. I want to see the real you.”
To an extent, I understood exactly what he meant. He was the only person who ever knew what I was capable of. He could see the darkness I tried so hard to hide because he was just as fucking dark.
“Why do you call me, Sunshine?”
“Hey, it’s my turn. No rule-breaking, rebel.”
I growled and rolled my eyes. Of course, Carrington fucking Harding would bitch about not breaking rules.
“Why, my sister, Shiloh?”
That was unexpected. I had been with Xanthy for so damn long that I couldn’t really comprehend being with anyone else.
It was a comfort…a shield. She was easy to hide behind.
Her charm and beauty kept everyone looking at her, and they didn’t study me too hard.
I was simply an accessory to the beautiful Harding princess of Normal.
“Why not?” I said, running a hand through my hair absentmindedly.
Carrington nodded, somewhat pleased with the answer, but likely sensing it wasn’t the full truth.
“It’s my turn now. Why the nickname?”
He cracked his neck and opened a pack of gum he had rummaged up from the glove compartment. “Next.”
I looked at him, throwing three fucking pieces in his mouth and chomping like a damn cow.
“Next? You can’t do that, asshole.”
He just grinned, still smacking that fucking gum loudly with his mouth open.
“You really wanna know?” he questioned, a tenderness entering his voice that took me off guard.
“Yes…”
“Good. Then neeeeext.”
This man will be the death of me. I fucking swear it.
“Fine, you fucking toddler. Why forensics? Do you like it?”
A few minutes went by, and the only sound was that ridiculous chomping before he said, “I did. My father hates people poking around. He has the entire police department and courthouse paid off to play dumb about anything that could connect him to a crime, no matter how small. So, I went to school and got into forensics. I wanted to show him he isn’t as invisible as he wants to be, and at any point I can shine a bright fucking light on him for all to see. ”
“Mayor of daddy issues,” that’s what he had said. It was gnawing at me, wanting to know how deep down that ran, but I also wanted to keep that in my arsenal for now—not knowing if I would need it later on.
But do I really want to hurt him?
Who the fuck am I kidding?
I needed a weapon against him. He was unpredictable and so damn cold. He didn’t ask for anything. he just took it. That could have been my body or my fucking mind. And if I didn’t protect myself with whatever I could, then…
I can’t complain when he decides it is time to destroy me.