Chapter 25 #2
Shiloh shifted beside me, strung tight and ready to snap. I leaned toward him, begging with my eyes. “Control it. Focus. Whatever he says, we stay together. Don’t let him pull you apart. Don’t let him pull us apart.”
Edmund’s eyes flicked back to Shiloh, and he smiled. “And you…you will want answers. Won’t you? You’ll want to know why. Who. How. All the things you thought you needed from me, but it wasn’t I who could answer them, dear boy.”
Shiloh’s fists clenched tighter. “I—” he ground out. “I need…”
“I know,” I said, cutting him off. “And you will get them, Shiloh.”
The pause stretched. Edmund leaned forward slightly, those damn chains rattling nonstop, his wicked gaze predatory.
“Some truths…” he said softly, deliberately. “Are best seen last. Let the fear build. Let them sweat. Let them beg for it.”
I felt it, deep in my chest, the tightening coil of dread. There was more to his game. He had pieces I didn’t. This wasn’t just about my past. This was something deeper. I knew the moment was coming. I didn’t know how deep it would cut.
Edmund’s eyes returned to me, glinting. “And you…” he said slowly, savoring the pause.
“You were very good at following orders. Excellent, in fact. So good that no one suspected the hand behind the work wasn’t the one that demanded it.
So precise. Accurate to a fault. Nothing sways a monster from a goal.
No pleas for a sad little boy left behind.
A monster so efficient it rivals even me.
I wasn’t capable of such a task, and I was afraid of the consequences. But you?”
Something cold hit my stomach. My pulse spiked. My hands shook so hard under the table that I felt the wood rap my knuckles. I knew he was talking to me. But I couldn’t figure out which part was going to shatter everything between Shiloh and me.
Edmund’s gaze never left me. His smirk curved slowly and sharply, like a blade dragging over bone.
“You were so very good at following orders,” he murmured again, voice soft and cruel, avoiding the gaze of the wandering guard. “So obedient. Never questioned. Never faltered. You did what you were told…even if it meant someday hurting the one you loved the most.”
My stomach dropped like fucking lead weight. Heat prickled at the back of my neck, my pulse hammering in my ears.
Hurt the one I love? Who?
Shiloh leaned slightly toward me, hungry for answers, suspicion burning in his eyes. And I had nothing to give him, not a damn word, not a warning, and not even a shield.
I was just as raw, just as exposed.
Edmund let the pause hang, stretching it like elastic, allowing it to twist tighter around my chest.
“The woman you…” His voice faltered as he savored each syllable like he was enjoying a fine wine. “Did what you were told to end that problem. You truly don’t know, do you? How many were there, Carrington? Was she not the first or perhaps even the last?”
I froze. Every muscle in my body screamed. My chest tightened, a storm of guilt and panic clawing upward. I swallowed hard.
I didn’t.
I couldn’t have.
I hadn’t.
But as he continued to speak, I saw Shiloh’s eyes staring back at me, but they weren’t his.
Shiloh’s voice broke me. “Carrington…what…?”
I opened my mouth, the images playing in my mind, and making me sick. I tried to speak, but nothing came. I shook my head slightly, but the lie wouldn’t form. The truth was too sharp to shape.
Edmund laughed. “She was his mother,” he said softly, and cruelly. “And the one who sent you to do it?” He let his smirk twist into something sharper that nailed me to the floor. “Your father, Reginald Harding.”
I felt every ounce of air leave my lungs as my stomach lurched with vomit. My throat seized. And Shiloh’s hands slammed on the table, his eyes blazing with hurt, confusion, and pure rage.
“You…” he breathed, a broken sound as tears fell down his cheeks. “You…disposed…my mom…”
I swallowed hard. My own voice was thick and fucking hollow as the images clicked into place piece by piece. A young woman who didn’t fight for her own life. Her last words were just to keep her son safe, a plea begging me not to let this happen to him.
My father ordered a woman’s death—a favor for a friend and a monster’s dues.
I killed Shiloh’s mother all those years ago. I ripped away the one person who could have saved him. I was the reason he clung so hard to the light…
Because I plunged him into darkness.
Me. Not his father.
I was his monster.
“I didn’t…I didn’t know. I…I was only following orders, Sunshine, I…”
Shiloh’s fist hit the table hard again and again. “You…you followed…You—” His words stumbled and fractured completely. His chest heaved. “You ruined my life because someone told you to? You took her away because your fucking father made you? Really! You made the decision. It was your hands.”
“I didn’t know it was her,” I snapped, barely above a growl, my hands clenched under the table defensively, trying my best not to reach for him, to try to take away the pain pouring from him.
“I didn’t know it was her, Shiloh. I just…
I followed my father’s orders. I never—God, I never—I was just a kid… ”
Edmund leaned back, smiling like a bastard who knew he not only unraveled every thread, but watched it fucking burn to nothing.
“Oh, but now you see,” he said, voice smooth as poison. “The threads connect. The past is back. And here you are, all tied up in it…together. How satisfying. How tragic to love the one you’ve hated the most.”
Shiloh’s eyes burned into mine, but he wasn’t speaking to me. “I don’t love him. I fucking hate him.”
“I didn’t know,” I rasped, my own voice breaking under the weight of the truth and guilt. “I…I would’ve…if I had…I—”
But the words didn’t matter. The damage was done. Edmund’s smirk widened. He had done exactly what he wanted. We were raw, bleeding, and he had us exactly where he wanted.
Shiloh leaned forward, his tear-streaked face pale and twisted with rage. “You…you were his tool. You…you were the one he used to—I fucking hate you. How could you make me l—”
“Yes,” I snapped, finally, the last bit of control cracking. “I was. I followed orders. I…I didn’t know it was her. I swear…I—I didn’t mean to love y—”
Edmund leaned back again, chains clinking. “Ah…there it is. The breaking point. Delicious. The broken love. The irredeemable agony.”
I could feel Shiloh’s gaze burning into me, disbelief, betrayal, and pain all tangled in one sharp line.
And all I could do was sit there, trembling, while the guilt crawled over me like a void determined to obliterate me.
Edmund watched us both, savoring each tear shed.
Loving the way Shiloh’s warmth went cold, the way his words pierced me as sure as any blade.
“I fucking hate you, Carrington Harding. I will fucking kill you for what you did. You made me feel safe. Made me fucking love you. I’ll never forgive you for this. You will fucking die.“
Love.
I do love you.
The realization was sickening and damning. But it physically hurt seeing him rip away from me. I couldn’t move. Just sat there watching Shiloh get up and leave me.
The cold around me grew with each step. I saw him darken, saw the light leave him and swirl into the darkness.
My sunshine was…fading.