Chapter 39
Iwas standing by the bar, two glasses of champagne sweating in my hands.
My mind wasn’t even on the party anymore.
I was caught between the weight of the ring in my pocket and the thought of Carrington waiting for me tonight.
The gold band pressed against my thigh like a fucking reminder I hadn’t chosen.
Yet.
Xanthy had been avoiding me the last few hours of this stupid shit show, anyway. She used her posse like a wall to block me. I ruffled her feathers enough with the truth bomb that now she didn’t want to hear me speak at all.
Guess you are done parading around your puppet.
I started to head out, walking through the crowds, not bothering to look for Xanthy. She could find me in the car with my champagne. Then a laugh broke through the chattering noise, rich, stupid, and overpowering.
Tyler’s.
I stopped at the door, glancing up and scanning through the crowd. At first, I thought I’d lost Xanthy in the shifting bodies, but then I found her.
The pale lavender of her dress was being tugged toward the edge of the room, near the back door, where an empty hallway led to another venue set up.
There was supposed to be no one in there, yet Tyler’s hand was clamped around her arm, his grip was firm. Like a fucking cat his smile was too wide and predatory, as he yanked her toward that abandoned area.
Xanthy wasn’t smiling.
She was digging in her heels, trying to latch onto anyone around her, but they all simply smiled and watched her get dragged away farther.
So much for ride-or-die friends.
Guess they’d prefer her to be the one who was dead.
Her lips moved, probably telling him no, but the music swallowed her soft, husky voice.
He bent down to her level and whispered something against her ear that made her flinch. I turned back, heading for her, while he kept jerking her toward the hallway, like she was nothing more than an accessory to his ego.
The glasses in my hands slammed down on the bar, liquid splashing over my knuckles and onto the smooth surface. My pulse pounded so hard I could barely hear the group of people trying to talk to me.
“Shiloh, they’re just catching up—”
“Don’t be all possessive. She wouldn’t want—”
“Don’t be like that—”
I pushed through the crowd, the heat of my anger building under my skin with every step. Tyler didn’t slow down, didn’t even look back as he pulled her around the corner and into the vacant area.
People laughed and clapped him on the back, oblivious to her turmoil as she was swallowed by the doors closing.
When I hit the hallway, the sound died to a dull echo.
He had her all the way down at the other end. Her back was pressed to the wall, his arm barring her in, while his body leaned too close.
Her hands pressed against his chest, beating her fists against his stomach. He only laughed again, that cruel rasp of toying with someone’s torment.
I knew.
Because it was a replication of how I was with Carmen that night, but unlike her, I would not let Xanthy succumb to the same fate.
Over my dead fucking body.
“Tyler!” My voice ripped down the hall.
He turned to me, annoyance flashing across his face, before it stretched into that same smug grin. “Easy, hero. We’re just catching up.”
“Does catching up include putting your disgusting hands on her?” I said, stalking closer. “Let her fucking go. Now.”
“She’s fine,” he drawled, his beady eyes cutting back to her. “Aren’t you, Xanthy? You used to like it when I held you like this.”
Her face paled, her lips parting, but no sound came out, only a soft whimper of pain.
Something in me cracked wide open. All the restraint, the civility, and the patience all erupted within an instant.
I grabbed him by the shoulder and ripped him backward until he stumbled in surprise. His whiskey glass shattered on the tile below us, and before he could recover, my fist connected with his fucking nose.
The crunch was wet, blood spraying across his suit, my knuckles, and my girlfriend.
“What the fuck? You broke my nose,” he roared, clutching his face. But I didn’t stop.
“You will fucking bleed.”
I drove him back against the wall with another punch, then another, until his grin was gone and all that remained was blood dripping down his chin and clothing.
“You think you can manipulate and bully your way into a woman’s fucking pants?” I snarled, my chest heaving. “You so much as breathe in her direction, I’ll fucking bury you myself.”
Behind me, Xanthy gasped, her hands trembling against my arm as she pulled me back. “Shiloh, stop. Please.”
Her voice cut through, dragging me back from the edge as Tyler slumped against the wall, the blood continuously pouring from his broken nose. His eyes flashed with something darker than pain.
The hallway spun with the echo of my pulse, the copper tang of blood thick in the air, and the darkness swirling in my blood. I stood there, my fists dripping red, and the weight of the ring in my pocket suddenly heavier than ever.
Because now it wasn’t just about love or choice.
It was about a fucking war.
I grabbed him again, yanking Tyler back into the wall. The first punches had barely scratched the surface, barely let out the fire in me.
But now it didn’t matter.
Nothing mattered, not the wedding, not the crowd, not even the ring in my pocket.
Tyler’s laughter, that smug, self-satisfied laugh, cut into my head like a razor blade, and all I could picture was how that laugh sounded while he hurt Xanthy for years.
I could feel every story Xanthy had whispered about him, the cruelty, the control, and the darkness.
It all came alive in front of me. The blood pounding in my ears was my own, not his.
I hit him again.
Harder.
“You think you’re so big, don’t you? Breaking a woman so she can’t tell you no.”
Crack.
“You think making her feel small raises you higher?”
Snap.
“How tall and bad do you feel now, big boy? You’re going to beg for her forgiveness. You’ll beg at her fucking feet.”
Kick.
“Like the bitch you are.”
Tyler dropped from the wall, right at Xanthy’s heels. He looked up at her, his mouth busted, his face a mess of cracked bone.
“Beg her,” I demanded, nothing but pure rage and venom.
“I-I-I’m sorry, Alex-Xanthy. I’m so sorry.”
Tears rolled down her pale cheeks as she shook her head and backed away from him. His blood now coated her feet.
With her denial, he staggered back, coughing and spitting up blood. I grabbed him by the collar, pulling him back up, and slamming him against the wall with enough force to rattle the frame.
“You…don’t…ever…” I growled, my voice shaking with something unrecognizable even to me. “Touch her again. You wanted her to break? How does it feel now? Hah! You can’t even handle a second of what you’ve done to her.”
His grin returned, just a faint, crooked, infuriating smile.
“She’s fine, Prince Charming. Don’t be so bitter. She downgraded to you. You’re a fucking placeholder for when I want her back. She’s always been mine. Haven’t you, Alexandra?”
Xanthy didn’t speak. She just kept crying.
I laughed, a brittle, broken sound. My calm had left the building the second he’d grabbed her.
My hands shook as I hit him again, until the blood on my knuckles felt like it belonged there, like it was a part of me.
My vision blurred with rage, and the world narrowed down to him, to the smell of blood and sweat, and the sound of his grunting under my fists.
I wasn’t thinking.
I wasn’t rational.
I was pure emotion, pure instinct, and the part of me that Carrington had clawed awake in the woods, the part that had no mercy, no patience.
I broke his wrist, cracked his jaw, snapped his fingers, and threw him down the side steps out of the building. Every mark on Xanthy’s body, I replicated on his.
Then I heard her.
“Shiloh, Stop! You’re going to kill him!”
Her scream split through the night, piercing through the chaos inside me. I froze mid strike, my chest rattling, while every nerve trembled.
My hands loosened their grip, letting the pulp of the man fall to the ground. I saw the carnage through new eyes. They slid from his bloodied collar to his broken face.
Tyler gasped on the ground, coughing, choking on blood, but still alive.
Barely.
Xanthy grabbed me by the shoulders, pulling me backward, her hands strong despite her shaking. “Shiloh. Stop. Don’t do this. You’ll get arrested, you’ll…”
I let her drag me away, resisting at first, needing one last second to make sure he couldn’t stand again. But her grip didn’t falter.
Her voice, that terrified, commanding scream, was enough to claw me out of the abyss I was falling into. She took me to the car and turned on the ignition, her eyes darting around to the entrance, as if to ensure no one saw us.
I took a breath as she pressed me against her, keeping me upright to her chest, holding me as much as the middle console allowed. It bit into my stomach.
My knuckles dripped with blood, mine and his, my chest stuttered like I’d run a marathon, and my mind was still half in the dark and half steadied in the bright, panicked light of her holding me.
“I…he…” I stuttered, my words failing, my throat too raw.
“You’re okay,” she said, holding me tighter. “You’re safe now. Just breathe, Shiloh. Please. I have you.”
Her dress was covered in blood. My suit was bathed in red.
I could barely inhale. My rage still boiled, and my pulse raced to go back. But I felt her steadying presence. It was anchoring me to the world, keeping me from crossing that line.
Her light. Not mine. Hers.
I wanted to stay in that dark rage forever, to let it consume Tyler for good. But Xanthy’s hands, her sweet voice, and her trembling body pressing against mine reminded me why I hadn’t. Why I couldn’t.
Why did I need her light in my life? Not Carrington’s darkness.
I let her hold me, driving with one hand on the wheel, and one wrapped around me, taking us farther from him, leaving Tyler bleeding and broken on the ground.
And as we disappeared into the shadows, I realized the choice I’d been avoiding wasn’t about the ring or the wedding or even her.
It was about the part of me that slipped so easily into the darkness and never returned, and yet, somehow, her light brought me back.
I was never light.
I was just a different version of darkness all along. And if I chose to be with Carrington, it was only a matter of time until the storm consumed us both.