Chapter 13
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
“Your Grace…” Vicar Norleigh looked aghast at Alistair. “That is too much.”
“Is it?” Alistair said simply.
“You do not… your generosity is beyond anything that I might have expected. Truly, I cannot accept.”
“Are you implying that I have made a mistake?”
Vicar Norleigh’s eyes widened. “What? No! Of course not.”
“Then the number is accurate,” Alistair said without inflection. “And as for my supposed generosity? Let us just say that I know who my friends are, just as I know how to keep them happy.” He raised a knowing eyebrow at the Vicar.
“Your friends…” Slowly, the meaning dawned. “Oh! Yes, yes, of course. Although, you must know, that I would never… regardless of your generosity, I am still very much your friend.”
“As you will continue to be, I am sure.”
Alistair sat with Vicar Norleigh in his office, the door was closed, and the secrecy of this meeting was thus confirmed.
It was not meant to be this way, but Alistair had made it seem as if he had a reason for wanting to see the Vicar today, and urgently, so he was determined to keep the ruse going.
This had given him a good reason to leave Miss Norleigh somewhere in the house, which he had not wanted to do, as he had rather enjoyed their short ride from his manor.
A little too much, truth be told…
“I thank you again,” the Vicar said with a broad smile. He looked tired and worn through, but he always did. “And if there is anything else that you need…”
“There is one more thing.”
“Oh?”
“Not something that concerns me,” Alistair said, shifting on his seat with a sense of discomfort brought from the topic. “But something that I feel we must… confirm.”
“Whatever it is,” the Vicar hurried to assure him. “I am yours.”
The excuse that Alistair made for having to see the Vicar was the need to offer the man and his church a donation.
He already donated to the church every month, of course, as most of his tenants attended this parish.
But today, his donation was especially generous, and there was a good reason for it.
As he said… he needed to make sure that his friends stayed as such.
“It concerns Hugh.” Alistair leveled a serious glare on the Vicar, so that he would know the seriousness of this conversation. “And the secrecy surrounding his birth.”
“Oh.” The Vicar blinked. “Are you suggesting that I have told –”
“I know you never would,” Alistair cut him off. “But that does not mean I do not wish to confirm the fact. And now that your daughter is working with me…”
“At your suggestion,” the Vicar pointed out. “To keep an eye on me, you said.”
Alistair grimaced at the wording. Indeed, he had been the one to suggest that Miss Norleigh worked with Hugh so that the Vicar would be more willing to keep his mouth shut. At the time, it had sounded like a good idea, but now that he knew her better, it felt suspiciously like blackmail.
Worse, too, if she were to ever find out…
Alistair shifted with discomfort. “My meaning is, I know that you and your daughter are close. And I want it confirmed that if she were to ask how you knew Hugh so well…”
“I will tell her that it is not her business,” he said rightly. “You have my word.”
“Good. I would hope so.”
A pang of guilt stabbed further at Alistair’s insides, which he hated. He had no reason to feel guilty. In fact, he was doing the right thing! Everything he did for Hugh was done for the boy’s benefit, and he would not be made to feel as if he was in the wrong.
The guilt, he suspected, pertained to Miss Norleigh and the lies he told her.
Alistair wanted to believe that she had no right to know the truth, but he couldn’t bring himself to believe it fully.
In fact, he wanted nothing more than to tell her the truth, as if her blessing would somehow make him feel justified in what he was doing.
Why did he even care? Again… I need to work through my feelings for Miss Norleigh before they become the death of me. Before she becomes the death of me.
“My daughter is a good woman,” the Vicar continued. “And she knows her role.” He blew through his lips. “In truth, she is the last person you need to worry about.”
“And why is that?”
“She has an affinity for children,” he explained.
“Cares for them as if they were her own.” He scoffed.
“I would rather that she had her own, mind you. Make herself of use…” A shake of the head.
“I have tried to convince her to find herself a man and marry, but will she listen to me?” He laughed bitterly.
“She would rather waste her time looking after someone else’s children. No offence, of course, Your Grace.”
“Offence? For me, or for your daughter?” Alistair said coldly.
The Vicar balked. “I… I did not mean –”
“Oh, you certainly meant everything that you said,” he cut over the Vicar. “Heaven forbid that your daughter applies her time to helping starving children find meaning in this world. And shame on her for dedicating her time to the well-being of the less fortunate.”
“That is not…” The Vicar winced. “I only meant that –”
“Or should I just be grateful that your daughter wishes to waste her time looking after Hugh? I have seen her with him, you know. Watched them together. And while he might not be her own blood, she treats him as if he were. If that is not something to aspire to and be proud of, I don’t know what is. ”
Alistair’s words struck the Vicar where he sat, and the pitiful man looked away with great shame. As he should do.
In truth, Alistair was a little surprised by his outburst. There was no need for it. But the Vicar’s disparagement had annoyed Alistair, and he felt a need to defend Miss Norleigh’s honor.
He had seen Yvette and Hugh together, and he knew how much the boy admired her. What was more, she was the reason that Alistair was able to smooth the terrain between himself and Hugh, laying the way for them to develop a relationship of their own.
She was more than a mere governess, and he was starting to realize it.
It did force Alistair to wonder why Yvette had no children of her own, especially if it was something that clearly upset her father. There was no doubt that they would have spoken about such things, and based off the vicar’s judgement, she had dismissed the notion entirely.
She would make such a good mother, I am sure. But that she isn’t one… there must be a reason. I wonder, in fact, if it has anything to do with her reaction last night?
It was food for thought, and yet another reason for Alistair’s imaginings to be plagued with visions of the young governess.
“I think it is time that I go,” Alistair said, sensing the shift in the mood of the room.
“Oh?” The Vicar tried to contain his relief. “Would you not like to stay for lunch?”
“I will be quite fine, thank you.”
The Vicar played the role of aggrieved host, again asking if Alistair would stay. As he did, he was sure to lead Alistair from his office and through the house, no doubt eager to see the back of him.
Even if he wanted to, Alistair knew it was not a good idea. Eating lunch with Miss Norleigh and her father… it felt entirely too familiar and would only confuse his thoughts further. Best to err on the side of caution.
At least that had been the plan.
It was as he was led through the house that Miss Norleigh stepped out of her bedroom, right in front of where Alistair was walking. Bright yellow sunlight shone from behind her, she lit up as if a halo surrounded her body, and Alistair’s reaction was typically mystified.
She is… beautiful.
Beautiful felt like the only word that suited. Dressed in a flowing pelisse of white, her dark hair worn down to her shoulders, her green eyes glistening like emeralds, and a smile that was full and luscious and glimmered with white teeth, it was all Alistair could do not to gawk.
“You’re leaving?” she asked.
“I…” He hesitated, his tongue swelling in his mouth, his chest tightening. “I should… I am needed at home.”
“He has business, Yvette,” the Vicar hurried. “Do not worry about it.”
Alistair continued to stare at her. He looked from her eyes to her full lips. He saw the pout, a hint of disappointment. He wanted to change his mind, to join them for lunch, but knew that he could not. That was entirely too dangerous.
“I will send the carriage back for you,” he somehow managed to stammer a response. “It shan’t be more than an hour.”
She nodded with understanding. “Thank you, that is too kind.”
Then she looked at him, again with a sense of disappointment. She wanted him to stay, Alistair was sure.
“Good day,” he spoke into his chest.
Head down, he rushed from the house and made for the carriage. He did not dare to turn around, and he did not dare risk seeing Miss Norleigh again. His heart thumped, his legs shook, and his breathing rattled as he stumbled and fell into the carriage’s depths.
“Go!” he commanded, still refusing to look out the window.
It wasn’t until the carriage was on the way that he braved the window, catching sight of the house as it grew small behind him.
And there, standing outside, watching as he left, was Miss Norleigh.
She was far away, almost impossible to make out clearly, but he saw on her face the same look that she had worn moments earlier: disappointment.
She wanted him to stay and dammit, so did he.