1. Kennedy
1
KENNEDY
Present Day
“ A re you ready?” I ask Briar as I walk into her room, putting the back of my earring on and tightening it. After that night weeks ago where my car officially died on me, I pulled up my big girl panties, walked over to Asher’s the next morning, and asked for a ride to our mom’s house. Everyone already knew the minute it happened. The non-stop vibrating of my phone in my pocket on the quiet ride home plus the calls that came after assured me the usual people knew my car broke down on me a-freakin-gain. When Asher pulled up at our mom’s, Mike’s head was already under the hood, and I knew with the look he gave me that no amount of patchwork would put my car back together again. That meant talking to Mom and asking to borrow her vehicle for a little while. She happily gave me the keys.
“Not yet!” She’s mumbling under her breath, probably picking out the very best outfit to wear tomorrow morning with Uncle Asher and Auntie Lennie.
“I’m going to be late, sweetheart, and you know if you forget anything, they have a key to our house.” I stop at the doorway to her bedroom. Briar may be six, but she’s going on thirteen. Her room is in complete disarray. Toys, crafts, and clothes are haphazardly thrown all over the place.
“I promise, one more minute, Mommy.” Moving into Lennie’s house is the best thing that has happened to my girl and me. It also set me back a lot of money in terms of moving, transferring power, water, Internet, deposit and the first month’s rent. The heavy lifting or renting of trucks, well, my brother and his friends helped with that. Asher and Lennie would never have accepted my payment. Then again, I’d have never accepted to move in, either. Therefore, my savings took a hit. Then Briar decided to have a sudden growth spurt and Chris was neither here nor there when it came to child support. Surprise, surprise.
“Alright, I’ll be in the living room when you’re ready.” I take one last look at the little girl whom I’d give my last breath to. She’s the reason why I keep trucking along. Every time I get knocked down, I get right back up. My girl, Briar Amelia Richards. Keeping Chris off her birth certificate wasn’t going to happen, especially at the time I delivered her. At that time, he was very hands on, at my place as much as possible even though we decided we were better friends than lovers. He was at the hospital, came over every single day, and sometimes slept on the couch to help with middle-of-the-night feedings. And when he slowly started fading into the background once Briar started walking and talking, I had my doubts. I brought them up to Asher and voiced the idea of taking him off her birth certificate years later, as in right before my girl started pre-school. Her dad’s sporadic visits, paying less and less. I asked him if it would be smart to ask him to surrender his rights because it wasn’t fair for Briar to get excited for her dad to show up just to dip out yet again. Asher told me to leave it be. When he comes, to make sure it’s supervised. This way, when he does pay, at least it’s something.
It still irked me to my bones that her last name was attached to a man who quite blatantly didn’t want to be part of her life. I should have pushed my want for her to have my last name, but unless I magically have money falling from thin air, I can’t change it. Not that Briar has even asked. It’s all me.
“’Kay, Mommy.” Her soft brown hair has the barest of waves. Briar’s baby curls have officially left, and it hurts my momma heart. Right now, she has it styled in a way that I know will be a pain in the ass for Lennie to brush through later tonight. She came out of her room earlier today so proud of her two lopsided bubble braids that are more knotted than anything else, so the last thing I’d do is suggest making it look better. Briar glances from her bright pink daisy rolling suitcase to me. Her hazel eyes that are exactly like mine look up at me. The small smattering of freckles along the bridge of her nose travels beneath her eyes, and I fall in love with my daughter a little bit more.
Which is why I’m doing the unthinkable, living a lie and doing what I have to do to make ends meet. Everyone thinks I work in Springdale, twenty-five minutes outside of town, at a college bar. None of the people in my life would be caught dead at a place where teenagers try to pass their fake IDs off in order to drink underage. Then there are those students who are over twenty-one and there for a good time. It’s the absolute perfect cover, and they’ll never show up to where I actually work.
The Velvet Lounge.
By day, I’m a data entry clerk, and by night, I’m a stripper.
I’m back in the living room, reminding myself of the reason I’m doing this in the first place. Another month, and I’ll have more than enough money for a used car, one that’s reliable and won’t break down on me time and time again. Stripping is lucrative. What I’ve made these past couple of weeks, only working Thursday, Friday, and Saturday night, has more than cushioned my savings.
I don’t want to jinx anything, but things seem to be going a lot smoother than I ever thought possible. Sure, I’m exhausted, especially on nights like tonight when I’m going from one job to the next. I did the same last night, but tomorrow, I can at least sleep in past sunrise before I roll out of bed and pick up Briar. All of this will be worth it in the end when I can give my mom her car back with a little bit of cash, find a vehicle of my own, and still have some left over for an added cushion. Plus, who knows, maybe I’ll work one night a week to keep the money flowing.
I check my bag, making sure I have a change of clothes, shoes, hair bag, and makeup bag. I wear normal clothes to The Velvet Lounge , get ready there, and do my stage sets. I’m realizing how lucky I am that this county in Florida doesn’t allow full nudity while dancing in the main bar area; what happens in the back is not my business. I don’t accept offers from gentlemen or women in the lap dance arena or to be booked for a private dance in the backrooms. I’m here to dance, make some money, and leave.
“I’m ready now!” Briar shouts through the house. I hurriedly zip my backpack and slide it on my shoulder.
“I couldn’t tell.” I bend down to touch her nose with mine. “I heard the wheels before you. Ready to go to Auntie Lennie’s and Uncle Ash’s?”
“Duh, they have better snacks than you do. No offense.” Not only does Briar look exactly like me, but she also has my personality, which means the sass comes free of charge.
“Yeah, yeah.” I stand up and grab the keys off the side table near the door. I’ve slowly been putting my stamp on our new home, mainly in the form of décor. Lennie took her favorite pieces to my brother’s but left things she knew I’d need because while our furniture from the apartment was decent, hers is way better and much more my style. I’ve managed to meld things together, you know, in between our hectic life. There are still a few boxes I’ve put in the laundry room that I need to go through, but we’ve yet to use them since moving in here, so, surely, they aren’t a necessity.
“Come on, Mommy.” Briar pushes me toward the door, her small hands hitting my thighs, and I work on opening the door.
“I’m going to put my bag in the car. Go ahead and walk over there. I’ll be right behind you,” I tell her. When it comes to spending the night or visiting with family or extended family, she’s always in a rush.
“’Kay.” My eyes trek her movements while I’m shutting the front door and locking it behind us. The good thing about borrowing my mom’s car is it has keyless entry and remote start. I’m down the front porch steps, opening the car door, dropping my bag in the passenger seat, and high-stepping it to my brother and future sister-in-law’s. I want to say my goodbyes to Briar before she’s in the house and asking to swim.
“Come here, you little rascal.” I dart behind her just as she’s about to knock on the door. My arm bands around her stomach, and I burrow my nose in her hair while lightly tickling her.
“Mommy, you’re silly.” She giggles and wiggles. “Aunt Lennie, help! The tickle monster is trying to get me!”
“Oh, I think I’ll get in on the action,” Lennie says, going in for Briar. I let my girl go so her aunt can do her thing.
“No, where’s Uncle Ash? He’ll save me,” Briar says in between fits of giggles.
“Sorry, Bri, he’s at the station tonight. You’re stuck with me. Will baking cookies work in his place?” We all settle down from laughing and saying hello.
“Yes.” My little girl drags out the ‘ s’ at the end of her word and is quick to add, “Don’t tell Uncle Ash.” She puts her finger to her mouth for emphasis.
“Alright, come here, you, before you get lost in a sea of sugar.” Briar detours from heading into the house. I squat down, preparing for the tackle hug she’s known for giving me, and hold her tightly.
“Love you, Mommy,” she says.
“I love you so much. I’ll see you tomorrow morning. Be good, okay?” I reply.
“I’m always good.” There’s that spunk. She’s the best.
“Yeah, I know.” I squeeze her one last time then stand up, allowing her to go look at what I’m sure are all the goodies inside waiting for her.
“Thank you, Lennie. I appreciate you helping me out.” It doesn’t matter if I ask or she asks. I’m forever grateful.
“You’re welcome, but you know I love having her with or without your brother. Plus, she sends him a bunch of selfies, and he grumbles about missing out on our fun times together,” Lennie jokes.
“Still, I’m thankful, and I promise you won’t have her tomorrow. It’s Valentine’s Day, and Asher is off. Plus, Mom and Mike are planning some kind of evening where they all get dressed up, go out to dinner, and I’m sure take the princess shopping.” They go above and beyond. Everyone does, really, and I’m reminded by their random acts of kindness just how much of a village I have.
“Anytime, even if something changes and you need us tomorrow night. We’re here. This is just a speed bump. You’ll get through, and we’ll still be here. Always.” See what I mean? Best future sister-in-law ever. I’m either overtired or my period is rearing its ugly head, because tears try to surface. Lennie sees it. “Come here.” She pulls me into her arms, hugging me like she knows this is exactly what I need. While you get hugs from your child and your family, sometimes, this type of being held is what you truly need, and she gets it. God, does she get it.
“Thank you all the same.” Lennie doesn’t let go until some of the tension leaves my body.
“You’re welcome. Now, go to work this weekend, then Sunday afternoon, come over, and we’ll have a pool day. Asher and the guys can be the pool boys. Just don’t tell them; they’ll never know.” She lightens the mood and helps calm my fraying nerves.
“You’re on. Text me when she’s up in the morning, and I’ll come grab her.”
“Will do,” Lennie says, yet we all know she won’t. They’ll let our girl stay as long as she wants. Once everything is settled, I head back toward my place and then climb in my car. I’ve got a job to do, and I need to get in the right frame of mind to do it.