Chapter 37
Vanya
Paige clings to my jacket, tears staining her cheeks.
Volunteers appeared from the house to carry Sasha’s body away. Igor trailed behind them in dazed silence.
My heart aches. Our beloved brother’s a ghost.
Others emerged with buckets of water to wash the blood from the gravel.
Max remains rooted in place, staring blankly at the wet ground. I can only imagine the guilt devouring him. Sasha put him in an impossible position, and now he’s dead and Max will suffer over his decision to shoot the other man for the rest of his life.
Opening the car door, I help Paige into the passenger seat, still striving to shield her from the aftermath of that gruesome scene. Skirting the hood, I climb into the driver’s side.
Not a lot of privacy, but it’s the best I can do at the moment.
She curls over, hugging her stomach. Outside, the men continue rinsing blood from the driveway.
“I’m sorry.” The words feel inadequate. “This… My family. This is the kind of thing that happens in my life. You shouldn’t have to—”
“Stop.” She straightens to glare at me, her gaze bloodshot but steady. “This is what your world is like. This is what you tried to protect me from.”
No point in lying. “Yes.”
She wipes at a tear trickling down her face.
I have no words to explain my shit show of a life, but I try anyway. “It’s a fucking mess. We tell ourselves it’s necessary, that we’re protecting the family, but nights like this…” I sigh, running my fingers through my hair. “It’s tough. This kind of darkness can ruin a person.”
She doesn’t flinch. “It didn’t ruin me.”
“Yet.” I wave toward the mansion, toward the grief soaking into its walls like water into stone. “I brought you here. Into this world where good men get shot in driveways in a moment of weakness because someone with an agenda decided to play games.”
Paige shakes her head. “I brought me here first, to save you. Remember? I chose you. And I don’t regret that choice.”
A sweeter declaration has never been spoken. I’ve never been anyone’s first choice before.
Hell, have I ever chosen someone? No. Alina was my sister. Peter took me. I was told to be loyal to the others for protection and family. But I never had a choice about who I wanted.
Not until her.
Until now.
“I choose you, Paige Kisner. Whatever comes next, I will continue to choose you.” I rest my forehead against hers, half wishing I had a ring on me somewhere so I could prove how serious I am. “So I guess we’ll just have to take turns saving each other from here on out.”
She laughs, watery but real. Alive. “Deal.”
It’s not perfect. Everything remains a mess. The family is rocked.
Sasha…
I can’t finish the thought.
Paige wipes her face again, and the light spilling from the house catches on her ears. Two tiny holes mark her delicate lobes. I’ve never noticed her wearing earrings before, but…
Reaching up, I remove my silver stud.
Paige stares as I hold it out to her. “What’s this?”
“It’s not much.” More like, it’s pathetic. “But I want you to have a symbol that will show everyone…that you mean so very much to me.” Lamely, I gesture, silently asking her to accept my offering.
“Why, Professor Orlov.” Paige bites her lip and leans closer like she’s about to disclose a secret. “Are you asking to penetrate me in front of your boss and your family?”
My mind blanks. I scramble for a response that won’t get my ass beaten by everyone outside the car, ’cause I know what I want to say. “Um…”
She laughs and pushes her hair back, tucking the locks behind her left ear. “Do it. Do it right here in front of everyone.” The mischief shining in her eyes has my hands moving before I can think.
I slide the metal stud into the hole in her lobe. It’s a little awkward, and she has to angle her head so I can get the backer on, but it works.
When she straightens to gaze at me again, seeing my jewelry on her infuses me with emotion.
“I love you.” The declaration tumbles out, freeing and terrifying at the same time.
She tilts her head. “I know.”
An iron fists squeezes my ribs, the painful ache spreading throughout my chest. How could I be so stupid? Confessing my love under these circumstances is idiotic. Especially since she obviously doesn’t feel the same way.
As I attempt to backtrack, she cups my cheek and stares into my eyes while hers fill with more tears. “I love you, too, Vanya.”
The tension clenching my heart releases, and euphoric relief floods me from head to toe. I release a shuddering breath.
Her warmth caresses my skin. As I lose myself in the waves of emotion emanating from her, my eyes start to burn.
I love this woman. She loves me.
After Alina and everything I’ve suffered through, I never believed that was possible.
Paige is a blessing and a curse, and I wouldn’t have her any other way.
All that’s left to do is kiss her, maybe slip inside…
“Let’s go!” Roman’s bellowing breaks our momentary sweetness, dragging us back to the sad reality of the night.
“Break’s over.” Paige’s lips tip into an adorable pout.
I kiss her cheek. “Until later.” That promise means everything to me. And I will make it up to her after this. With a real ring. With whatever she wants.
A new pen and a new car. Another phone too.
We rejoin the others.
Roman looks like he’s aged a decade in the last twenty minutes. Bags hang beneath his eyes, and he has more gray streaks around his temple than I remember.
We all loved Sasha. Losing one of our own hurts, no matter the circumstances.
“You overreacted.” Mikhail paces beside him, patently disappointed in his older brother as he cards his hand through brown, gray-streaked hair.
His gray eyes pin our Pakhan with a glare that only family could get away with.
“You named Sasha a traitor with one single photo as definitive proof. No other evidence. No investigation. You let your paranoia and your rage guide decisions that should’ve been made with a clear head. ”
“Father—” Alexei hovers behind Mikhail, his usually bright blue eyes cloudy with grief.
“No.” Mikhail rounds on him. “You all know I’m right.
Roman has been unstable since we first heard about the diamonds.
Since someone started poking at old wounds.
He got Sasha killed because he’s angry. Because he’s emotional.
Because he still hasn’t gotten over his wife’s and daughter’s deaths fifteen years later! ”
I cringe internally but don’t dare make a peep.
No one moves or even blinks.
Roman’s face could be carved from weather-beaten stone. “You’re out of line.”
“Am I?” Mikhail inches closer. “Or am I the only one with the balls to say what everyone’s thinking? You’re compromised, Roman. Have been for months. If you don’t get your emotions under control, you’re going to bring the whole Bratva down with you.”
“Enough! I need to see what Vanya has brought me. That might shed some light on what happened tonight. My office. Now!” Roman’s eyes jump to Max, then to me. When they flick to Paige, they widen and linger. He’s surely noticed my earring, though he doesn’t comment.
Beside him, Mikhail stands rigid with fury.
Roman ignores him and strides inside.
My brothers file in after him. Kirill, tall with beefy shoulders, Kolya with his steady, constant presence, and Alexei, bringing up the rear. Because that’s what you do when the Pakhan issues an order, even when our leader’s barely holding himself together.
Sergei, always in the boss’s shadow, materializes from somewhere. They’ve been friends for as long as I’ve known Roman, and the Pakhan’s employed him as his personal bodyguard since the shit hit the fan after MJ’s death.
Vitaly, Alexei’s younger half-brother, lingers near his car, curly hair hanging in his red-rimmed eyes. And Max…
He stands separate from everyone, still staring at the spot on the ground where Sasha fell. His arctic eyes are icier than ever before. Emptier.
Slowly, he trudges his way inside, behind the others.
There’s nothing to do but follow their lead, so I grab the box from the back seat.
Tension leaks from the house like a dense fog. Paige stays pressed against my side.
Roman heads straight for his office. The door is already open, light bleeding into the hall. It’s like I’m seeing his stronghold for the first time. The marble floors. The art in the alcoves. The opulence that masks the violence at the heart of everything.
Mikhail veers off and marches toward the east wing, a muscle pulsing in his clenched jaw.
Inside the office, it’s all leather and mahogany and the kind of furniture that costs more than most people make in a year.
Roman’s desk dominates the space, dark wood polished to a reflective shine.
Behind it, a portrait hangs on the wall.
A woman with dark hair and kind eyes. Lilia, Roman’s dead wife.
A simple gold necklace hangs on the frame, a key dangling from the chain.
Roman doesn’t look at it. He doesn’t look at anything except the box in my hands.
Kirill moves through the group like a shark to post up at the far door. Kolya follows in his wake, his dark eyes even blacker than normal. Both men cross their arms, showing off thick muscles that were built in the streets rather than the gym.
Alexei sits in one of the chairs facing the desk, his vibrant blue eyes locked on his Pakhan. Sergei melts into the shadows next to the windows, silent but watchful. A wary Vitaly hovers near the bookshelf.
Max lingers by the doorway like a man waiting for execution.
Valeria, Mikhail’s daughter, creeps up to the threshold behind him, her green eyes jumping from person to person. She remains just outside the door. Always on the outside looking in.
Roman drops into his chair, reminding me of where my attention should be. “Vanya. Bring the book here.”
I set the box on his desk and step back.
Paige stays at my side, her fingers lacing with mine.