Chapter Twenty
Rowan
“If you listen, I’ll sing you a sweet little song,
Of a flower that’s now drooped and dead.
Yet dearer to me than all of its mates,
Though each holds aloft its proud head.
Twas given to me by a girl that I know,
Since I’ve met her I’ve known no repose.”
As with any good Irish song, there are different versions.
The adaptation I grew up on speaks openly of loving the lass in question.
While my heart tells me to yell it from the rooftops, my head is telling me to stall the ball.
Before I go and start dropping the L-word, I need to figure out exactly what that means.
What does it mean to love someone romantically?
Christ, I don’t even know what being in a relationship is like.
Sure, I’ve watched Eamon and Teagan with their mots, witnessed the moony looks in their eyes, the soft caresses, heated stares, and even their arguments.
While that all feels surface level to me, when I look at my mates, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that they fully and intently love their lasses.
They willingly put themselves into vulnerable positions to prove their feelings, even though they’ve both been hurt by past relationships.
In football, you don’t take the shot unless you’re certain it’s going to go in, but even then, once that ball is in the air, anything could intercept it and knock it off course.
It’s easy to convince yourself that you shouldn’t make an attempt because it could backfire, but ultimately you have to trust that your aim is true and you’ve done all that you can to get it to the goal.
If it doesn’t, then you feel like a gobshite.
But when it does hit the back of the net? It was all worth the risk.
Alicia is standing statuesque behind the bar, arms hugging her middle. Her eyes are pinned on me, and even though I’m more nervous than I’ve ever been in my entire life, I keep her in my sights as I gear up to take my shot.
“My wild Irish rose, the dearest flower that grows.
You may search everywhere,
But none can compare
With my Wild Irish Rose.”
The crowd disappears and all I see is her. It’s like being on the pitch when I’m taking a penalty shot—the arena is empty, and the only light visible is the one that illuminates the net and the outline of the goalie.
“Her glances are shy, when e’er I pass by,
The bower, where my true love grows.
And my one wish has been that some day I may win
The heart of my Wild Irish Rose.”
I’m still staring at her when the song ends and the audience begins cheering.
It’s impossible to gauge her reaction from here, but neither of us makes a move to break eye contact until some wanker steps in front of her to order a beer.
She slowly tears her eyes from mine to take care of the customer, and I’m brought back to earth by Eamon and Teagan joining me on stage.
The crowd is chanting “Galway Girl” over and over, and even though we’ve already played it tonight, who am I to object when the only black-haired and blue-eyed lass I need is in the room?
The crowd keeps us playing until last call.
By the time we put our instruments away, I think we’re all ready to call it a night.
I have to drive back to Charlotte tomorrow and get ready for our away game in Seattle against the Sounders.
The thought of leaving so soon after making progress with Alicia is a cruel form of torture.
What I want to do is take her back to my flat and finish what we started in Paddy’s office.
We might have both gotten off, but I am in no way done with her.
It’ll be another week before I’m back in Wilmington.
That’s enough for me to abandon what I’m doing and bound off the stage, making a beeline for where Alicia’s wiping down the bar. Once I approach, I snatch the towel from her hand, tossing it somewhere over my shoulder.
“Ro, what the hell…?” She starts, but I cut her off.
“Come with me.” I grab her hand and pull her behind me toward the kitchen.
Eamon is back with Norah, doing dishes, just like Pat said they would be, but it looks like they got into some sort of water fight because they’re both dripping.
I don’t have the time or desire to find out right now though.
As soon as we burst through the back door, I have her up against the wall and my mouth on hers.
She stiffens initially but quickly goes languid, gripping the front of my shirt.
I kiss her like it’s the last time I’ll ever taste her lips.
My hands stay where I put them on her hip and the side of her neck.
If I let them wander, this will turn into another nightclub bathroom ordeal.
Aye, I want to fuck her, but not in the bleedin’ alleyway.
At least not tonight anyway. Plus, I’m aching to explore her new jewelry again.
As the inferno inside me begins to cool, I slow the kiss until I’m lightly brushing my lips against hers.
Alicia clears her throat as she releases my shirt, though she doesn’t remove her hands from my chest. “Not that I’m complaining, but what was that about?”
A chuckle rumbles through me as I kiss her mouth one more time before answering. “I leave for Seattle tomorrow and won’t be back until next week.”
Her shoulders droop and frown lines form on her forehead. “Oh.”
The disappointment in her voice is almost enough for me to call Coach and tell him I’m breaking my contract because I’ll be damned if I’m the one that causes Alicia any kind of sorrow.
“Sorry, darlin’,” I tell her truthfully. “There’s nothing I want more than to stay.”
She shakes her head, refusing to meet my eyes. “It’s fine, Ro.”
Gripping her chin, I pull her gaze back to mine. “Don’t do that.”
“Do what?”
“Put that wall up. We’re past that now, aye? No more avoidin’ me. If there’s somethin’ on your mind, we’re going to talk about it. Y’hear?”
I stare her down until she nods. Anxiety is rolling off her in waves, like a skittish animal.
“Good. Now let’s talk this out,” I demand. “I’ll go first. Travelin’ is part of my job, yeah? And the season’s only just begun, but I will be back, and we will talk every day until I come home. Yes?”
Alicia rolls her eyes. “I’m not that pathetic, Gallagher. I can go a week without talking to you.”
“Aye, I know you can, hen,” I tell her. “but I can’t and don’t want to go that long without hearing your voice.”
One side of her mouth starts to tip up in a smile, but she fights it back. “You’re not going to be one of those stage-five clingers, are you?”
“Ach, don’t be a brat.” The hand I have on her hip slides around to cup her arse, making her squeak. “Brats get spanked.”
Her pupils blow wide as she presses her body into mine and purrs, “Maybe I like being spanked.”
My cock twitches and I’m sorely tempted to test out that claim right here. “Aye, of that I have no doubt. I’m more than willing to leave my handprint on your arse, so keep it up and you’ll get your wish.”
I watch her debating with herself, curious to see if I’m bluffing.
I’m not.
Finally, she sighs and walks her fingers up to my shoulders before sinking them into my hair. “I’m not going to be checking my phone obsessively waiting for your call or text. Are you going to be a pain in the ass if I don’t respond right away?”
Maybe.
I shrug. “Depends on how long it takes you to answer.”
She snorts. “So, what are we doing?”
Blinking at her, it feels right to give her a bit of sass right back.
“Well, love, we’re currently standin’ in the alley behind the pub while I decide if I want to fuck you against this wall.
” I slow down, letting my accent thicken.
“Or give you a week of edging so you’ll come the moment you see me. ”
Alicia’s jaw drops and her cheeks turn pink. She sputters for a moment before giving my hair a sharp tug. “That’s not what I meant, you cad.”
This pulls a loud laugh from me. I kiss her forehead and pull her into my chest. “What do you want us to be?” I hold my breath as I wait for her response, a part of me scared she’s going to want to keep it casual.
At this point, I’ll take whatever scraps she gives me, but I’m in this for the long haul.
“Are we dating?”
“Aye, if that’s what you want.”
I feel her nod. “Good,” I tell her, relief settling in my bones.
She asks the next question timidly, which is so out of character for her it stuns me. “Are we exclusive?” She must think I’m hesitating to give an answer because she backpedals. “It’s okay if you don’t want that. I don’t want to put any pressure on you, I’m just trying to figure it all out.”
I’m shaking my head before she’s finished speaking. “No, no, no. Hang on there.”
She pulls back, peering up at me with a concerned look.
“Listen,” I begin, cupping her cheek. “If we’re doing this, if we’re going to be together, there will be no one else for either of us. I’m only yours, a chéadsearc.”
The smile she’s been trying to keep at bay cracks a little more. “That’s not very progressive of you, Rowan.”
“I don’t give a flying fuck. If you think I’m going to share you with anyone else after waiting this long, you’ve another thing comin’.”