Chapter Eight #2
Nicola sighed in delight. “How very lovely,” she said. “What are their names?”
“Jane, Janet, and Joan.”
Nicola was delighted by the idea of three daughters. “Such pretty names,” she said. “Very fashionable.”
“I was not allowed to name them,” Caledonia said, showing little interest in Nicola’s compliment. “Their father named them in accordance with his mother’s wishes.”
Nicola didn’t quite understand that. She and Caledonia hadn’t really discussed her marriage to Robert beyond the fact that she had once, indeed, been married to the Earl of Stafford, so she wasn’t sure how to respond.
Looking to her brother for direction, she could see him shaking his head faintly.
That told Nicola it wasn’t a good subject to be on, but she wanted to give the woman comfort.
“I… I am sure they are beautiful and intelligent,” she said, trying to sound positive and helpful. “Won’t it be good to go home and see them? How long has it been?”
That was the wrong question to ask. Caledonia lowered her head even further and the tears came again. Nicola had no idea what she’d said wrong. But Thor had an inkling; he gave Caledonia a gentle squeeze and spoke softly and reassuringly.
“If you are worried about the old nun who is their guardian, I will send her away if you wish it,” he murmured. “I will chase her away the moment I set foot in Stafford and you will never see her again. Would you like that?”
The tears were forgotten. Caledonia’s head came up and she looked at him in shock. “You… you would do that?”
“If you wish it. Do you?”
Did she? Since the day the girls were born, she had wished it.
She had prayed for it, hoped for it, but Robert had been determined to keep the old hag who had raised him in charge of his own children.
The nurse who’d poisoned Caledonia’s own children against their mother and there had been nothing she could do about it.
It never occurred to her that Thor would.
If her marriage to him only brought her the removal of that beastly woman, then it was well worth it.
“Aye,” she said hoarsely. “I wish it. Very much.”
He winked at her and leaned back, removing his arm from her shoulders.
“It would be my pleasure, Lady de Reyne,” he said, using her new title for the first time.
“Therefore, there is no more trouble. We are eager to return and see to your children. I suppose they will become mine, too. I should like to meet them.”
Caledonia couldn’t keep the tears at bay after that.
Thoughts of seeing her children and perhaps actually being a family with Thor undid her.
She stood up quickly, rushing from the hall as Nicola tried to follow her, but Thor held her back.
Instead, he went after his new wife because, to be perfectly truthful, he wasn’t entirely sure that she wasn’t running from him again.
He just wanted to make sure. She’d been quite compliant since he brought her back from Gomorrah, so he wanted to make sure she hadn’t lulled him into a false sense of security.
He didn’t want to say he didn’t trust her not to head back to Gomorrah if it all became too much for her, but…
Fortunately for both of them, Thor found Caledonia out in the corridor.
She was standing near one of the big windows that overlooked a small courtyard that was enclosed on all four sides.
There was a small garden in the center of the courtyard and he walked up behind Caledonia, lit up by the moonglow.
When he looked at her, he could see her profile. She was looking at the moonglow, too.
He could see the tears on her face.
“If I said something to upset you, I apologize,” he said. “Mayhap I am behaving clumsily, though I do not mean to.”
Caledonia was shaking her head before he finished getting the words out of his mouth.
“You are not clumsy,” she said, turning to him.
“I am. Clumsy and disoriented and overwhelmed. I’ve spent so much of the past ten years alone, without any comfort or support, that when I am show such regard—as your sister has, as you have—I feel as if this entire situation is unreal.
How can any of this be real? Am I lying in a stupor at Gomorrah, dreaming all of this? I fear that I am.”
He shook his head. “If you are, then I am dreaming right along with you and my mother would box my ears if I went to Gomorrah for entertainment,” he said, watching her smile weakly. “Therefore, the answer is nay—you are not dreaming. This is real.”
“And you are always this kind?”
He fought off a smirk. “Not always,” he said. “But for you, I will make an exception. But while we are on the subject of Gomorrah, what were you telling my sister about a nude dancing man?”
Caledonia snorted softly and wiped the tears from her face.
“Yesterday, when you came to Gomorrah with your men, I had been watching a young man with fine muscles dance for me,” she said, watching him frown in disapproval.
“Have no fear; I never touched him, or any of them, and they never touched me. I did not go to Gomorrah for the touch of a man. I went because there was always something to drink or eat or smoke to inhale that changed my reality. It took me away from this life I live and, for a brief moment, made me forget. That is all.”
He could understand that. “And I do not judge you for it,” he said.
“But I want to make it clear that from this day forward, I do not want you to go to Gomorrah. If it is adventure you seek, I will give it to you. If it is excitement, I will provide it. I will provide whatever you desire, my lady. But I do not want you returning to Gomorrah again. Please.”
He spoke the last word as sort of a plea, one Caledonia took seriously.
He didn’t order her not to go. He was asking, and because he asked, she would comply.
She’d told him she didn’t want another marriage like the one she had with Robert—and based on her experience with him so far, she didn’t think Thor would be another Robert.
Perhaps he would provide something solid and meaningful, something she wouldn’t have to fill with hazy days at Gomorrah just to forget her terrible life.
She was willing to take that chance.
“As you wish,” she said.
He smiled faintly. “Thank you,” he said. “And I hope that if something is troubling you, you will tell me. I have never been very good at guessing women’s thoughts, so you would be doing a me a great favor if you simply tell me what you are thinking or feeling.”
She cocked her head, looking at him seriously. “Do you mean that?”
“I never say anything I do not mean.”
She lifted her eyebrows, baffled by his request and subsequent answer. “Forgive me for asking, but are you always this understanding?”
He chuckled at her bewilderment. “I have two sisters and a mother, women who are greatly revered in my family,” he said.
“I also have three aunts and a variety of female cousins, so I have grown up with women. My father always impressed upon my brothers and me that women were to be treated carefully and kindly. I also have a grandmother who would thump me on the head if she felt I was being rude, and I do not like to be thumped on the head.”
She smiled because he was. “I will not thump you on the head,” she said.
“But I will tell you that I grew up with men who cared nothing for what I felt or thought. My brother was a little different, however. He was kinder to me than most. Losing him was quite devastating, to be honest. Constantine’s death changed everything in my life.
There were days when I both wept for him and cursed him.
So… if I ever seem overwhelmed or confused by a kindness, know that I will try to become accustomed to it.
It has simply been a long time since I have experienced it from those close to me. ”
“I will become easier with time,” he said. “When you realize that you will be a true wife to me, and that I will do my best to be a good husband, you will learn to trust me. We will build that trust together.”
She took a deep breath, squaring her shoulders with summoned confidence. “I hope so.”
“Will you tell me something?”
“If I can.”
“Why did you cry and leave the hall? Was it something I said?”
She nodded. “It was, but not in the way you think,” she said.
“You cannot know the times I have prayed for the guardian of my children to drop dead or go away and never return. I had resigned myself to her outliving all of us. But what you said… sending her away… Those are words I have only heard in my dreams.”
He could see how emotional she was about it.
Lifting her hand, he kissed it. “Then may all of your dreams become reality,” he said softly.
“I will admit that I am somewhat surprised that we have come to an agreement so quickly. Given the fact that we were both opposed to this marriage at the first, I thought we would be in for more difficulty.”
Caledonia had never had anyone kiss her hand like that.
She could feel his hot breath against her flesh and her heart was beating furiously.
It was difficult to breathe much less keep a coherent thought in her head, but she understood what he was saying.
Truth be told, she was a little surprised, too.
“You mean that you thought I would give you more trouble,” she said. “Mayhap I had planned to, but you are convincing when you want to be, Blue.”
He shook his head at her nickname for him. “Blue?” he repeated. “You could not come up with something more original than that?”
She started to laugh. “What, for example?”
He shrugged as he lowered her hand. “Who knows?” he said. “Handsome? Hercules? Dolt? I have an uncle who is addressed as Bull. That is manly enough.”
She laughed softly. “Let us not forget El Martillo.”
He pointed a finger at her. “Exactly,” he said. “Why can you not call me the Hammer?”
“Hammerhead?”
He rolled his eyes as her laughter grew. “Nay,” he said flatly. “Not that. Forget I even brought it up.”
She had her hand over her mouth to soften the laughter that was coming forth. “Were you truly a mercenary?”
He nodded. “A very good one,” he said. “So was my father before he married my mother. There is excellent money to be made in fighting other men’s wars.”
“What made you stop?”
He shrugged as the laughter faded. “I missed my home, I suppose,” he said. “I came home and served my father for a while until Henry offered me the position of Lord Protector. That has also been lucrative.”
“Will you continue as Lord Protector?” she asked. “Even after assuming Tamworth?”
He nodded. “For now,” he said. “But at some point, I would simply like to manage my earldom and live my life for me and not for the king. Speaking of such things, you will have to educate me on Edingale and its functions. I should like to know all I can before we arrive.”
Caledonia nodded. “I can tell you more about Edingale than I can Stafford,” she said.
“Robert kept things to himself, so we will have to examine his ledgers when we arrive. I can tell you very little about Stafford Castle, but remember that it belongs to my eldest daughter. When she marries, the title goes to her husband.”
He nodded. “I recall,” he said. “But until that time, I will do my best with it. What about the knights who are now in command? Will I have trouble with them?”
Caledonia shrugged. “The Edingale knights will be easier, I think,” she said. “A pair of brothers who served my father and grandfather. They are quite old, but they are obedient.”
“What about Stafford?”
She sighed. “That may be more difficult,” she said. “I never had any control over them. They only had interaction with Robert.”
“How many are there?”
“Three,” she said. “The captain of the army and two subordinate knights. I know that the captain was with Robert’s father and the two subordinates are his relatives. Cousins, I think.”
Thor considered that for a moment. “Then we will return to Stafford first,” he said. “I think we should settle that location first before moving to Edingale.”
“I agree,” she said. “But… but I think whatever you do, you will succeed with them. You are an elite royal knight, after all. How can they possibly contest you?”
He smiled, hearing praise in that statement.
She hadn’t been free with it other than to tell him that he had the bluest eyes she’d ever seen.
But there was a rapport starting between them that was warm and friendly.
The defenses she had kept up against him since their introduction had come down, little by little, and they were both starting to feel comfortable.
He was grateful. The last thing he wanted to do was keep up a running battle, so he would settle for her being overwhelmed and disoriented as their new life began. It was better than the alternative.
But he was very much hoping the warm and friendly mood would continue.
Speaking of warm…
“I suppose it is growing late,” he said, looking around to the torch-lit corridor. “The feast will go on through the night whether or not we are in attendance. Are you weary? Do you wish to retire for the night?”
It didn’t occur to Caledonia what this night truly meant until she realized it was her wedding night. He was suggesting they retire. Together. She knew what that meant. With that awareness, she averted her gaze as she nodded her head.
“If that is your wish, of course,” she said. “I suppose I am a bit weary. I’ve not recovered from the gorzalka completely.”
Thor lifted his eyebrows. “Nor have I,” he said. “I will probably still be woozy from it for days to come.”
She grinned. “I would not be surprised,” she said. “I do not see me drinking that terrible stuff again for a very long time, if ever.”
Thor reached out to take her elbow. “The next time I wage war, I’ll bring some of it. It will surely defeat whomever I am fighting without any bloodshed.”
“Your secret weapon?”
“I will conquer the world with it.”
With a grin, Caledonia let him turn her around and together they headed for the door that would dump them out into a smaller section of the bailey.
Thor’s chamber was across the compound and beneath a blanket of brilliant stars, they headed away from Westminster’s great hall and toward the beginning of their marital life together.
Quite differently from even a day ago. Or so Thor hoped.
He hoped it would be like this for them, always.
Little did he know what lay in store.