Chapter Four #2
“And what are you doing out of the chapel?” he demanded lightly. “This is your prayer time, is it not?”
Mira smiled in return. “How would you know that?”
“I know everything.”
“Then do you know that every girl in that chapel is watching you from the windows and not praying?”
His smile faded as he looked over at the small, sturdy chapel. He could see figures in the windows, suddenly disappearing when they realized his attention was upon them.
He sighed heavily.
“Lady Isabel is going to punish them if they continue that,” he said. “I do not want to be responsible for their pain.”
Mira chuckled. “Then you can end all of this attention right away.”
He frowned. “How?” he said. “I have been trying to do that since it started, Mira. I swear to you, if I find Ines or Primmy in the privy one more time, waiting for me to relieve myself just so they can spy on me, I am going to jump into the river and swim away for good. Do they not know how unseemly that is?”
Mira was in full-blown laughter by now. “They know,” she said. “I have told you repeatedly that you must tell Lady Isabel. She will end that behavior very quickly.”
He shrugged. “I know,” he said. “But it seems cruel to do it. She is very strict with her wards, I have noticed.”
“Then you are weak and soft and it serves you right if they never stop spying on you.”
She wasn’t serious and he knew it, so it was a struggle to maintain a frown without smiling. “That is a terrible thing to say to me,” he said. “How hurtful.”
“I doubt it.”
His eyebrows flew up. “Is that so?” he said, nearly sneering at her. “Very well, then. If you are so smart, tell me how I can end this attention once and for all.”
“That is simple,” she said, lifting her hand to shield her eyes again. “All you have to do is declare which young woman you favor most and the rest will leave you alone. None of them would dare tread on another woman’s territory. Especially of the male persuasion.”
His smile faded, as did his jesting mood. “Are you serious?”
“I am afraid I am,” she said. “I told them I would ask you which lady you favor. Astoria asked me to put in a good word for her.”
He shook his head and turned away. “I am not going to declare anything,” he said. “If you could simply ask them to leave me to my business, I would be grateful.”
Mira began to follow him. “I cannot,” she said. “All jesting aside, my lord, they are very serious about you.”
“Then that is their misfortune. And I told you to call me Douglas.”
That was true. He had. Mira took up pace beside him. “Now who is being cruel?” she asked. “These are fragile young women. You do not want to upset them.”
He stopped and looked at her. “They are all far too young,” he said. “Why do they not fixate on Davyss? He is more their age.”
Mira shrugged. “Because they like the blond, godlike creature who strolls the grounds,” she said, her eyes glimmering with mirth. “As the representative of the wards, I must ask you to come up with a pleasing answer that does not hurt their feelings, yet does not commit you to anything.”
His gaze lingered on her for a moment. Truth be told, he was fairly smitten with Mira and had been since the day they’d met, but given the circumstances and the politics at Axminster, there was no possible way he was going to declare that the only young woman he was interested in was, in fact, her.
But he wasn’t here to find a wife and, frankly, he didn’t need the headache.
He was here to do a job and a job only. But every day that he saw her, his resolve weakened more and more.
In moments like this, she would have done less damage had she taken a battering ram to him.
That rock-solid de Lohr composure was weakening.
But he almost didn’t care.
“Very well,” he said, rolling his eyes. “Is that what this will take?”
She nodded. “I am afraid so,” she said. “I know they have been quite a nuisance, but one word from you will end it.”
“Do you truly believe that?”
“I hope so.”
He scowled. “That does not sound very confident.”
She shrugged. “I cannot promise anything with that group,” she said. “But I believe they will stop.”
He looked at her, lips twisted in thought. “Then you will have to help me.”
“How?”
He gestured between the two of them. “Pretend you are madly in love with me and I will pretend I am madly in love with you,” he said. “You are the only one I trust, Mira. Anyone else would take it seriously.”
He’d addressed her informally on more than one occasion and she found it quite endearing.
She liked Douglas, very much. He was humorous and animated at times, and she’d found him to be very wise.
He was always right, about everything, and she had come to trust his judgment.
Not that they had any real relationship outside of an occasional conversation—and, one time, he’d helped her track down several errant chickens when it was her turn to manage the kitchens—but still, she liked him.
She didn’t have a brother, so Douglas had shown her what it might have been like to have had one.
Or any sibling, for that matter. Perhaps even a husband.
She considered him a friend.
It was a foolish dream to consider he would ever be anything more.
Still, his suggestion was a surprising one and, if she thought about it, a suggestion to be feared.
She was astute enough to know that pretending she was in love with the man might give her a taste of what it would actually be like, and she wasn’t sure that was a good idea.
With Douglas, it would be so easy to hope for the real thing.
She didn’t want to fall into that trap.
“That is your only plan?” she said, avoiding giving him an answer. “That is a weak attempt. Can you not come up with anything else?”
Douglas had to admit that her refusal to play along disappointed him. More than that, it hurt his feelings. Imagine that! Me—with hurt feelings! He almost laughed at himself but couldn’t seem to manage it. Shrugging his big shoulders, he shook his head and turned away.
“I do not,” he said. “I am sorry that pretending to be in love with me is such an appalling prospect. I did not mean to offend you.”
He was starting to walk away again, and Mira followed. “You did not,” she said. “Don’t be silly. I simply meant that I do not think they will believe it.”
“Why not?”
“Because you are Douglas de Lohr. I am no one of note.”
He came to a stop and looked at her. “That is not true,” he said. “You are Lady Misery Isabella Rosalie d’Avignon. Your family hails from Lincolnshire and your father was Lord Wygate of Wygate Castle. You are of noble birth.”
Her brow furrowed. “Who told you that?”
He threw a thumb in the direction of the gatehouse, or keep, or both. “Le Kerque,” he said. “He says your uncle was none other than Caius d’Avignon of Hawkstone Castle.”
She nodded. “He was.”
“He and my father were friends, you know.”
She shook her head. “I did not,” she said. “But I do not like le Kerque telling you about my background. That should come from me.”
Douglas braced his big legs apart, folding his arms over his chest. “He wasn’t gossiping if that concerns you,” he said.
“We met shortly after I was stationed here and he told me about everyone of note who lives here simply to orient me. I know about you, about Lady Astoria, Lady Helen, and the rest of them. Would you rather have me not give a lick about any of you and treat you all like dirt?”
“That is not what I meant.”
“Then what do you mean?”
She sighed sharply. Douglas was a forthright man and when he was correct, which was always, he could get a bit confrontational when challenged.
Not that it had ever really happened between them, but she’d seen it happen with others.
Eric le Kerque was one. Eric had trained men unchallenged for several years, and when Douglas made a suggestion one day, probably a correct suggestion on weapon management, Eric had pushed it aside and Douglas had taken offense.
The castle was still talking about it. Eric had eventually backed down and the two of them got along well enough, but Douglas was clearly a man used to having his way in all things.
Truth was, so was Mira.
“I simply meant that if you were curious about me, then I would hope you would ask me directly,” she said. “I will tell you everything you wish to know, so let me explain to you why no one would believe you could consider me a marital prospect.”
Douglas cocked a blond eyebrow, an imperious gesture. “Go ahead,” he said. “I am listening.”
Mira cocked an eyebrow, too. “First of all, I am not an heiress,” she said.
“I am not anything. Everything went to my brother, Payne. Secondly, when I finished fostering with Lady Isabel, I returned home to Wygate only to discover that my mother had taken another husband who had a daughter a little younger than I, and she immediately became very hateful against me. She told my mother that I had threatened her and intimidated her, and my mother believed her. She sent me back to Lady Isabel. Have you not wondered why I’m still here at my age?
It is because my mother’s new husband did not want me around. So I am here.”
“What did your brother have to say about it? He is lord of Wygate, is he not?”
“He is,” she said. “But even he could see what a fuss that girl was making over me. He told me I could stay if I wanted to, but I chose to return to Axminster where I was happy.”
“I see,” he said. “But all of this still does not explain why you feel you are an undesirable marital prospect.”
She looked at him as if he were daft. “Did you not just hear me?”
“I heard everything.”
“Then it should be clear to you.”
He shook his head. “The only thing clear to me is that you find me to be a disgusting creature you could never be in love with,” he said. “I am sorry that I am so appalling, my lady.”
She scowled. “You are ridiculous.”
“Is that so?”
“It is,” she insisted. “Douglas, you know you are the most handsome man at Axminster and, more than likely, the entire world, and the fact that you are making me tell you this when you already know it is only feeding your pride. That is shameful!”
“Is it?”
Mira was ready to explode at him when she caught him laughing. He started laughing so hard that he bent over, hands on his knees, and she was trying desperately to maintain her outrage.
“Stop laughing,” she said, fighting off a smile. “Stop laughing this instant, Douglas de Lohr. Do you hear me?”
He did, but he suddenly went down on one knee in front of her and took her hands, holding them in his two big fists.
“I know those silly chickens are watching us from the chapel windows, so they now see that I am on my knee before you,” he said, his blue eyes twinkling with mirth.
“Please, Mira. Please pretend to love me. Please pretend to belong only to me so that gaggle of children will leave me alone and stop watching me piss. Please!”
He was being dramatic and hilarious and very sly. He was making it look as if he was proposing to her and, of course, she had no choice but to go along with it. Or so he thought. She tried to yank her hands from his grip.
“Let me go, you fool,” she said, trying very hard not to laugh at him. “Douglas, I swear I will beat you if you do not let me go.”
The more she pulled, the more he refused to let her go, but she managed to get one hand free.
That caused him to yank on her, pulling her into an embrace right out in the middle of the central bailey for all to see.
He was on his knees, holding her tightly, his face pressed into her belly, as she began slapping him around the head.
“Douglas!” she gasped. “Release me this instant!”
He was laughing so hard that he was crying, his face pushed into her soft, warm torso. It would have been extremely enticing had he not had to suffer through the sting of her slapping at his head and ears.
“I will not release you until you agree to pretend to love me,” he said, muffled against her belly. “Agree or we stay like this forever.”
Mira knew he meant it. Furious, but also caught up in the man’s undeniable charm, she stopped hitting him and he immediately released her. He stood up, but he still had one of her hands.
“Now,” he said in a low voice. “Do we have a bargain?”
She was desperately fighting off a grin as she shook her head at him. “You are an insufferable arse,” she hissed. “I swear you deserve everything that is coming to you. I hope a thousand foolish maidens follow you around and spy on every aspect of your life. I hope you never have a moment’s peace!”
His grin broke through. “As long as you tell everyone that we are madly in love, I do not care what curses you bring down upon me,” he said. “Do we have a bargain?”
She was looking at him most hatefully. “If we must.”
“We must,” he said. “Now, smile. You are very happy that I have declared my intentions. Smile!”
He hissed the last word, and she produced a sneering grin that not even he believed. “How is that?” she asked.
He frowned. “Terrible,” he said. “You look like you have a bellyache.”
“I do, and its name is Douglas.”
He started laughing. “Insult me all you wish and I do not care,” he said. “We have a bargain and you had better live up to it.”
“And if I do not?”
His laughter faded. “Even if you do not want to make the bargain, you have,” he said, suddenly serious. “Your honor is at stake, my lady. That is the most important thing in the world. If there is even a small part of you that has any respect for me, live up to that bargain. Do not disappoint me.”
He meant it. All jesting aside, even Mira could see that. She may not have liked what he’d managed to wrangle out of her, but her honor was important to her. She didn’t want to lose a friend.
“I will not,” she said. “I will be a sickly sweet as you want me to be where you are concerned.”
He eyed her dubiously. “Make it believable, at least.”
“I told you that I will not disappoint you. I meant it.”
He nodded, a faint smile on his lips, before lifting her hand to kiss it. With a lingering glance, he headed off, back to the duties that were part of his day, as Mira stood there and watched him go.
Her heart was still beating wildly in her chest.
Letting out a pent-up sigh, she put her hand against her sternum as if to ease her racing heart. All jesting aside, the man had made her feel faint with his sweet kiss and charming ways. She realized she wouldn’t have been disappointed if this farce they were about to perpetrate were real.
But it was only make-believe.
Perhaps that would come to be the biggest disappointment of all.