Chapter 10
“Okay,” Mikey says, after delivering yet another of his remarkable performances. “It’s your turn.”
Luke hates to admit it, but he’s jealous of the way Mikey always manages to hit the right note each and every time he tries.
All Mikey has to do is hear something once, and he’s able to sing it back with perfect pitch and perfect rhythm.
It’s a skill Luke has never been able to master, and it makes him nervous whenever the two of them sing together.
Things have mostly settled down since a week ago, when they’d agreed to be boyfriends, only to be reminded of why they had to keep it secret. Luke had told Mikey they were going to be okay, but things had been a little tense since then.
Luke knows it isn’t fair to hold Mikey to a standard he hadn’t agreed to but, if he’s being honest, he’d hoped his new boyfriend would be the one to say they should go public. Still, it’s pretty cool to have an actual boyfriend, even if the two of them are the only ones that know about it.
“I’m not sure I’m ready. You’re just so damn good, Mikey. I can’t compete.”
Mikey puts his hands on his hips and gives Luke an “are you kidding me” look. It seems to be his unique speciality, and Luke finds it both annoying and also very cute.
“We both know you’re as good a singer as I am,” Mikey says. “I mean, I have better pitch, and I can hear things better, but you’re a natural when it comes to sight reading, and we both know you have the better voice.”
Luke doesn’t know about all that. He’s always thought Mikey’s tenor is just about the prettiest thing he’s ever heard.
There’s a purity to it Luke hasn’t heard from any other male singer he’s ever encountered.
It’s just this side of being high enough to be a falsetto, and it’s still undeniably masculine.
It makes a shiver run down his spine every time he hears it.
They’re in one of the practice rooms, so they don’t have to worry about anyone else looking at them. Miss Brenda has been nothing but encouraging of Luke, but even that’s not enough to make him fully get over his self-consciousness.
With Mikey’s confident words in his ears, he starts to sing.
He’s decided to sing “Amanda,” by Don Williams. It’s always been one of his favorite country songs, and not just because he’s spent many hours listening to it with Aunt Patty.
Williams’ voice is just so rich and resonant and deep…
it always stirs something inside of Luke.
As soon as the words start out of his mouth, he’s right where he needs to be. He’s proud of his voice–it’s a good one, a rich, deep baritone/bass–and he feels it through his whole body. When he sings, he’s in touch with something bigger than himself.
He goes into a sort of trance while he sings, just losing himself in the feel of it all, and when he finishes he sees Mikey smiling even wider than usual.
“You. Are. Brilliant,” he says, and even though Luke doesn’t always believe compliments, he finds himself believing Mikey.
He smiles.
“I hope I’ll be ready for the concert when it comes,” he says. “It’s not far away.”
Every summer NACA puts on an end-of-the-summer concert in which the various music students show off their talents. It’s a chance for the various musicians to get their performance chops and to get used to singing in front of crowds. And, as everyone knows, a talent scout or two usually shows up.
Mikey looks around to make sure no one is around, and then he leans in to kiss him. When he pulls back, he gives him a wink.
“Don’t worry, Luke. I think we’re both gonna knock it out of the park.”
With such confidence, how can either of them fail?
The days, and then the weeks, speed by. The tension between Luke and Mikey doesn’t entirely go away–they still have to be very careful they don’t get seen, and they still spend most of their time out on the backroads of Marshall County rather than at each other’s houses–but for the most part it’s in the background.
Luke tries to be happy and tries to live in the moment, but sometimes it’s hard.
As the time for the concert approaches, summer starts winding down.
The air fills with the sonorous wail of the cicadas and the rhythms of the katydids, and every so often the stray sound of honking as a few flocks of geese start heading south early.
It’s a warm August, too, and many of the nearby farms manage to get a second load of hay in.
If it weren’t for the fact Luke was doing NACA, he probably would’ve been enlisted to help but, as it is, his aunt insists–and convinces his parents to agree–his time is better spent in practicing and making sure he’s ready for the concert.
And, at last, it’s the night, and Luke finds he’s not nearly as nervous as he thought he might be. He’s wearing a nice black dress shirt and a pair of dark jeans, along with his good boots. It’s the perfect outfit for the kind of show he plans to put on for the audience.
He spends the hour before he’s set to go up on stage making sure his guitar’s in tune and the strings don’t need replacing; everything is ready. He knows there’s a lot riding on tonight, and he’s not going to screw it up.
He’s decided to sing a mix of both classic and newer country for his act. Along with Johnny Cash’s “I Walk the Line” and Don Williams’ “Amanda,” he also has Garth Brooks’ “Friends in Low Places,” Josh Turner’s “Long Back Train,” and Randy Travis’ “Forever and Ever, Amen.”
They call Luke’s name, and it’s showtime.
Let’s do this.
Luke steps out on the stage, and as the spotlight hits him the nerves hit.
The next minute, however, a sense of peace settles over him.
He knows, no matter what happens tonight–whether he manages to hit every single note just right or whether he sings off-key, whether he remembers every lyric or whether he stumbles– he’s still right where he’s supposed to be.
The stage, in front of these people…it’s home.
He looks out at the audience, his eyes desperately seeking for his parents. His mom is there, of course, because she would never miss her baby’s first concert. He’d hoped his brothers and his father would show up, but they’re not there.
It’s okay, Luke, he reminds himself. You can do this, with or without them.
His eyes land on Aunt Patty. She’s dressed to the nines tonight–she’s even wearing her good earrings, the ones with real pearls in them–and as their eyes meet she flashes him a smile.
For a second he turns his attention back to his guitar, doing one more check to make sure everything’s okay.
Then, he looks over to where Mikey is waiting just off-stage, and they share a smile.
The doubts and questions are still there, of course, but they’re a muted hum in the back of his mind.
He’s not going to let them get in the way of his success tonight, just like he’s not going to let them get in the way of whatever lies in store for himself and Mikey.
Whatever comes once NACA’s over, they’ll figure it out. Somehow.
Luke steps up to the mic.
“Hey, y’all,” he says, putting on just a bit of a twang. “I’m glad yinz are here tonight. We’ve got a very special show. My name’s Luke Carter, and I’m gonna be playin’ some country greats. I hope you enjoy them.”
He opens his mouth to start singing “I Walk the Line,” and as soon as he strums out those first few notes the crowd goes wild, and when he actually starts to sing the yells get even louder. And when he hits those low notes…well, it’s clear everyone’s having a good time.
Damn do I love this, he thinks. And I love Mikey Smiles.
It feels good to admit, even if just to himself, and his face hurts from grinning so much. He struts around the stage, showboating a bit and showing off for the crowd, and they eat it up.
Performing is a high unlike any he’s ever known, and it carries him all the way through his set list. He knows, even as he finishes the last notes of “Forever and Ever, Amen” that he’s going to be chasing it for the rest of his life.
As the last notes die away, he starts walking off the stage waving and smiling and blowing kisses to the audience, absolutely certain he killed it out there.
Mikey gives him a brief hug, and for a split second Luke thinks he might actually kiss him. He’s not sure whether the thought fills him with joy or terror, but it ultimately doesn’t matter because Mikey moves on and strides out onto stage.
If Luke thought he’d had the audience eating out of his hand, he can’t hold a candle to Mikey. From the moment he opens his mouth and starts singing “Somebody to Love,” the audience loses it.
Luke shakes his head and smiles. That’s the secret sauce to Mikey’s success. He’s just one of those people who has presence. There’s no point in trying to define it. It’s just a part of him, something he wears like a second skin.
When he starts hitting those high notes of Freddie’s, Luke sees him in an entirely different light. In a flash, he can imagine what Mikey will be like in a couple of years, once he’s had a chance to hone his voice, once he’s had a chance to really dig deep and find the inner vein of native talent.
Damn, Luke thinks. He’s fucking beautiful.
And it’s true. Mikey’s always been a bit of a pretty boy, but up there he’s a true superstar. In his tight shirt and his black leather pants, he could almost be Freddie Mercury, his body glowing in the spotlight.
Luke can’t keep a smile off his face as Mikey makes his way through his set list–which includes classics like Elton John’s “Crocodile Rock” and more modern stuff like Justin Timberlake’s “Cry Me a River”–and manages to hit every single note.
He’s both a true showman and a helluva singer, and Luke loves him for it.
All too soon Mikey is done singing, and he starts to make his way backstage.
His face is glowing, and Luke is so happy for him he could burst. The rest of the NACA gang are all congratulating Mikey, slapping him on the back and telling him how great he did and how he should be proud he managed to get the crowd eating out of his hand like that.
The whole time, though, Mikey has eyes only for him, and he only has eyes for Mikey.
When he steps forward, he has to fight the urge to kiss Mikey right there. Still, he’s pretty sure he can see Mikey’s desire flashing in his eyes, and it makes him feel all sorts of things.
He thinks it’s safe to give Mikey a hug. For just a split second–so fast Luke is almost sure he imagined it–Mikey stiffens, but then he loosens up. The two of them don’t hold the hug too long, just long enough so they both know what the other is feeling, and then they pull apart.
“You did so great up there, dude!” Luke says, trying to sound just a little more macho, in order to throw anyone who might suspect what they are to each other off the scent. “They loved you!”
Just like I do, he thinks but doesn’t say.
“Thanks!” Mikey says, that smile he always saves just for Luke plastered all over his face. “I was pretty great out there, wasn’t I?”
Luke shakes his head a little at just how self-confident Mikey is. If he liked him a little less, he’d probably see him as arrogant. At the moment, though, he’s just happy for him.
The rest of the concert goes by, and then the various singers are reunited with their families.
Luke finds himself separated from Mikey–though he can see him on the other side of the room, talking to his parents–but he takes some consolation from the fact his mom and Aunt Patty are there, faces beaming.
“Sweetie, your performance was beautiful,” Aunt Patty says, sweeping him up in one of her hugs.
He breathes in the scent of the Avon perfume she always wears, and when she holds him out, he takes a quick minute to study her.
Even though she’s easily in her mid-fifties–she’s his dad’s elder sister–she doesn’t look a day over forty.
Her curly blonde hair doesn’t have a streak of gray, and her face, so much like his dad’s, doesn’t show a single wrinkle.
His chest tightens up a bit as she looks at him, adoration and love in her eyes.
“Thanks,” he says, blushing a bit.
“It really was something,” his mom says, slightly more restrained in her praise. “Your dad and brothers would be proud. They said to tell you sorry they couldn’t make it. They had work on the farm to take care of.”
He knows it’s code for, “They had more important things to do,” but he lets it go. Some battles aren’t worth fighting.
They start asking him questions about how it felt to be up there on stage, and he answers, but his mind is really on Mikey and what he’s saying to his parents. He dares to look over, and he frowns when he sees they’re already gone.
He sighs and turns back to his mom and Aunt Patty.
Luke isn’t sure why, but he has a feeling something’s changed between himself and Mikey. He doesn’t know what it is, but it casts a shadow over the evening, a sour note to end the harmonious evening.
With a sigh, he leaves, wishing he could go back to the good feeling he had just a while ago but knowing it’s gone.
So much for that, he thinks.