Chapter 25
Luke was on top of the world. Seeing the look on Mikey’s face as he took in the valley below was…well, it was sort of sublime, really. He hadn’t realized until just then how much he was really craving the chance to share this part of his world with someone else.
“I love you.”
He almost rushed to take the words back, almost told Mikey he didn’t mean it, or he didn’t have to say it back if he didn’t want to. Instead, he did what his therapist would have told him to do and just sat with the uncertainty of how they would be received.
Mikey, however, squeezed his hand, and he thought for sure he was going to have a heart attack right on the spot.
“I love you, too, Luke Carter,” he said. “I’ve been wanting to say it to you for a very long time, and I don’t think I ever really stopped loving you. I’m just glad I’ve grown up enough to actually deserve you.”
Luke didn’t know which part of the statement was the best: whether it was Mikey actually telling him he loved him or whether it was saying he was now worthy of him. Mikey was right, though. He did deserve Luke. In fact, they deserved each other.
“Oh, I don’t know about that,” Luke said. “I think we’ve both grown enough to be worthy of each other, and I think it’s pretty damn special.”
Reba chuffed from beneath him, and Loretta followed suit.
“I think they’re gettin’ impatient to leave,” Luke said, but Mikey just shook his head.
“Is it okay if we just stay here for a few more minutes?”
“Of course,” Luke said.
Without waiting, Mikey swung down off of Loretta, and Luke followed suit, taking the chance to admire just how beautiful Mikey was when he moved.
He’d been very surprised he was able to ride well–in fact, he was shocked he was able to ride at all–but he was learning Mikey Smiles was full of many surprises.
“Um…,” he said into the silence, “I kind of want to kiss you again.”
“Well?” Mikey asked. “What’s stopping you?
As he leaned in to give Mikey what he was determined was going to be the best kiss of his life, he was struck by the image of two trees growing together in the middle of a wood. He thought again of “A Guy to Build a Life With,” and he was more convinced than that it was the perfect title.
Meanwhile, Mikey started to kiss his way down his neck, even as his hand was also doing some exploring.
“Do you wanna go back to the house?” Luke asked, followed by. “Um…do you wanna…you know…do it?”
Mikey chuckled against his neck, but it wasn’t a mocking laugh. Instead, it was a comforting sort of laugh, the kind of laugh someone might make when they’re not really sure what to make of the person they’re with but nevertheless love them with all their heart.
I can’t believe Mikey Smiles actually said he loves me, he thought.
Luke was finding that in love, as in so many other aspects in life, things often turned out better than you ever thought they might, if you just learned to have a little faith and didn’t let fear govern your every waking moment.
But can Mikey realize the same thing?
Even though he knew Mikey was out, he couldn’t shake the worry he might go back on his word and maybe even go back in the closet.
Celebrities did it all the time, when they realized coming out had some serious consequences, that it wasn’t just something they could do and not feel the repercussions.
He didn’t think Mikey would do it but, well, he also hadn’t thought Mikey would break up with him when they were teenagers, and look where his faith had gotten him.
What was he doing, second-guessing everything? He had Mikey right where he wanted him. Was he really going to waste his time going over the past again and again, expecting it to be something different? As he’d said to Mikey, it was time to stop looking backward and start looking forward, instead.
Thankfully, Mikey hadn’t noticed him letting his mind wander off.
“I mean, I’m game if you are,” he said. “I could use a bit more inspiration before we start writing some of our new songs.”
Luke put his hands on his hips. “Mikey Smiles, are you really saying the only reason you’re interested in sex is because it would help to inspire you?”
Mikey shrugged, and it was just so damn cute of him Luke wanted to tell him at least a dozen more times how much he loved him.
“I didn’t say it was the only reason,” Mikey said. “I just said it was a reason, and it is. Don’t you know all the great pop songs are basically about sex? Nothing makes for great art like spending some time in bed.”
Luke couldn’t help but laugh.
“Okay, fine,” he said. “I honestly don’t know why I love you.”
A ghost of something akin to panic flickered through Mikey’s eyes.
Damn it, he thought. I’m going to have to be careful what I say.
He took Mikey’s hands in his, desperate to comfort him, to remind him the past was in the past and he was going to do everything in his power to ensure it stayed there.
“Look,” he said. “I know it’s not easy for either of us to really leave the past behind, but we’re both going to have to make an effort.
This…thing we’re building between the two of us isn’t going to work if we both keep acting like we need to walk on eggshells around the other.
Yeah, things happened, and yeah, some of them weren’t very good–in fact, they were downright bad–but it’s time to just put it away as much as we can. Agreed?”
Mikey grinned and kissed him.
“Agreed,” he said. Now, can we go back to the cabin and have some fun?”
Luke rolled his eyes, but he still got back on Reba.
“Well?”
Mikey just grinned.
The two of them managed to get the horses stabled, but they barely made it in the door before they were going at one another, each of them basically trying to tear their clothes off.
It was intoxicating, feeling this kind of desire for someone.
No, it was more than desire. It was a powerful sexual energy that went beyond anything Luke had felt for anyone else.
It crackled in the air between them, almost a physical thing he could reach out and touch.
His hands roamed over Mikey’s body as he pulled his shirt over his head, enjoying the way his hard muscles moved under his skin, the way his body had grown and matured and gotten even sexier, just like the rest of him.
He wanted to slow things down, to savor the moment in all of its beauty, but he also wanted to see Mikey Smiles naked again, and he wanted to know how it would feel to be inside of him, or to have Mikey inside of him, whichever happened.
Mikey stripped off his pants and socks and, for a few seconds, just stood there in his underwear, his cock straining against the fabric, a bead of precum already soaking through the fabric.
Holy fuck he’s hot, Luke said. Was Mikey Smiles always this hot?
“Um…,” Mikey said, looking him up and down. “Are you going to stand there in your clothes all day, or are you going to strip down too? I mean, I can always take your clothes off for you, if you want, but I thought I’d give you the chance to do it yourself.”
“Do you always have to be such a smartass?” Luke asked, even though he already knew the answer.
“I do, actually. It’s in my contract.”
Luke leaned forward and pressed his lips to Mikey’s but then, as he started to draw back, he bit them, not too hard, but hard enough to hurt. When he drew back, he couldn’t miss the spark of desire burning in his eyes.
I’m going to devour him, Luke thought, or he’s going to devour me.
Mikey was a force of nature no one could resist.
Then he stopped overthinking things and, as Mikey kept looking at him, he took his shirt off–making sure he did it as slowly and seductively as he could–and then his pants. And then Luke, like Mikey, was in nothing more than his boxer-briefs.
Luke knew he had a nice body, but it was nothing compared to Mikey's.
It turned out having a lot of money and time to train–as well as, he presumed, a personal trainer–was a very good way to turn your body into a sex machine.
He was lean and muscled in all the right places, with just a dusting of hair over his chest. A delicious happy trail led right into his underwear which were, if anything, even more strained than they had been a moment before.
“Why Mikey Smiles,” Luke said, trying to sound seductive but realizing he only sounded corny, “it looks like someone is happy to see me.”
“You’re such a dork,” Mikey said as he came closer. They started kissing again, their cocks rubbing against one another, the feeling of fabric against skin almost too much to take.
“Fuck you’re beautiful,” he whispered.
“So are you,” Mikey said right back.
They both paused for a second, awkward. Luke wasn’t sure why he was now shy–it wasn’t as if they hadn’t already traded blowjobs–but something about the moment felt significant. Actually having sex…well, it would change things, wouldn’t it?
Fuck it, he thought. Let’s do this.
“Do you…do you want to go to the bedroom?” he asked.
“Are you kidding? I want to fuck you so bad, Luke Carter, that I think I’m going to go crazy if we don’t do it in like…the next ten minutes.”
“Okay, calm down there, eager beaver,” Luke said. “I wanna have sex, too, but…well…maybe we ought to at least figure out who’s going to do what?”
He wasn’t sure why he was acting so cagey about talking about being a top or a bottom. It wasn’t like this was his first rodeo. Fortunately he was vers, so either way would be fine with him.
“I’m vers, if that’s what you’re getting at,” Mikey said. “I know what you’re thinking, but I really do love both topping and bottoming.” He got a wicked little gleam in his eye. “Of course, if you wanted to flip-flop, it would be absolute heaven.”
If Luke hadn’t been hard before, just thinking about flip fucking with Mikey Smiles would’ve gotten him there. As it was, he was so horny that, like Mikey, he began to think he might explode if the two of them didn’t go at it as soon as possible.