20. Its tiiime!
Chapter 20
It's tiiime!
SAMMY
M y little monsters absolutely need to fuck off. I don’t know how much more I can take. For that matter, how much can my marriage take?
Poor Sawyer. He’s been such a trooper. Too bad he’s stuck with a raging mad woman like me.
Well, bad for him. Good for me.
I can’t imagine anyone else putting up with my whiplash-inducing mood swings and loving me through them the way he has.Throughout the night, I’ve experienced every emotion at incalculable levels as I came to grips with the fact that I’ve likely been in labor since yesterday.
In the two hours since we left the party, I’ve been slap-happy, angry as Eric Cartman, nervous as Piglet,and sappy as a maple tree.
Fortunately, my mood seems to be leveling out, thanks to the epidural.
Speaking of which, having limited sensation in my lower body isn’t as unsettling as I expected. Initially, I was leaning toward other pain management options simply due to the fear of feeling paralyzed. But after one round of Demerol, which was lovely initially, the pain broke through with a vengeance. I changed my tune about the epidural pretty damn fast, and I’m glad I did. They said I’d be shit out of luck if I didn’t get it soon, considering how fast my labor was progressing.
About a half hour later, it kicked in. Now, we’re chilling.
This stuff is awesome. A million stars.
Hell , I didn’t even know my water broke. I was lying in a puddle of amniotic fluid with soaking wet socks and was none the wiser until the doctor came in for a dilation check.The nurses cleaned me up and changed the bedding. Now we’re waiting until I’m the rest of the way dilated before I start pushing.
We’ve decided Mom and Sue will stay with me and Sawyer when it’s time for the actual birth. Leo and Big Al will step out for that part. This hospital has large labor and delivery rooms, so we’ve got space for my entire support team.
The nurse turned the lights down on her way out a few minutes ago, providing a relaxing ambiance. A tiny Christmas tree is on a shelf in the corner of the room under the window. It gives off a colorful glow that reminds me of the decorations Lettie worked so hard on at Redleg.
Sawyer’s oddly fascinated with the fetal monitor. He tells me when I’m having contractions because other than some pressure, I barely notice them.
Sadly, that’s given me time to focus on everything else.
Twins. Fucking twins.
That’s twice the chance I’ll fuck up. Twice the irreparable harm I might cause.
And birthing twins is dangerous. What if I don’t make it, and Sawyer has to raise them on his own? After I had that lovely thought, I got foolishly angry at Sawyer since, in my rapidly unfolding vision, he remarried.
You don’t need to tell me how irrational that was. I’m well aware.
My jealousy monster was hanging out with my rage monster, and they decided to make me look certifiable. I suspect they were still high on the IV pain meds from earlier.
Sawyer tucks a loose strand of hair behind my ear and kisses my forehead. “Can I join you for some cuddles?”
“Mmm . Yes, please.”
My love well could use a top-off. At least I’ll be able to feel his skin on my upper body.
Beaming, I nod eagerly and attempt to shift to the side of the bed. Alas, I’m numb from the waist down, so I move exactly zero inches. “Sorry. My legs are concrete poles.”
Without taking his eyes off me, Sawyer calls out, “Lionheart, give me a hand shifting her over.” Then he hits me with an adorably sexy grin.
I cannot wait to ride his face again.
He winks at me, almost as if he can tell what I’m thinking.
My giant oaf of a brother takes position on the opposite side of the bed. Sawyer lifts my legs, and Leo slides his hands under me and easily moves me over. Not sure why Sawyer even bothered. Leo could move me by himself even if my entire body were dead weight. With only one of his enormous arms.
Good for Sawyer, though. He needs something to boost him up after I’ve verbally castrated him tonight.
Leo ruffles my hair in the annoying sibling way of his. “There you go, kiddo.”
Sawyer puffs up his chest and points his thumb at his chest. Impersonating a child, he squeaks, “And I helped.”
My brother rolls his eyes and groans.
“Thanks, big guy,” I tell him, flashing a toothy grin.
“I’m thrilled I could help you cuddle with my best friend right in front of me. Nothing will please me more than to witness this.”
Big Al comes in with the perfect one-liner. “Don’t worry, Leo. Sawyer will cuddle with you next.”
After my husband snuggles up beside me, he slings one leg over mine. Nice thought, but I can’t feel it. Fortunately, his upper body makes up for it. His warmth seeps in through the thin hospital gown.
Quietly, so our family doesn’t have to listen to me attempt to flirt, I ask, “Did I tell you how hot you look in scrubs?”
“Oh yeah? Got a little doctor fantasy you want to play out?”
“Not at this moment, but maybe in a few months.”
Tone and eyes darkening, he asks, “And are you gonna be my helpful nurse?” He pumps his brows and deepens his voice. “Or a patient who needs some sexual healing?”
“Neither. I’ll be a hospital administrator who wants to fire you.”
His face falls, jowls dropping comically. “That does not sound sexy. We really need to work on your fantasies, princess.”
“You didn’t hear the best part.” I lick my dry lips. “You’re extremely committed to changing my mind.”
“Ah, I see.” His voice shifts back into the heated timbre. “And there’s nothing I won’t do to keep my job.”
“Absolutely nothing.”
He drops the pretense of the fantasy, holding up his finger, and flatly decrees, “Except letting you peg me.”
We’re laughing together when Laci, our head nurse, comes in, wasting no time on pleasantries. “Don’t be alarmed, but I need to check and see what’s going on. One of the heartbeats is erratic and weakening.”The cheery demeanor she’s had throughout the evening is replaced with a seriousness that’s unsettling as fuck.
Ice water pours into my veins, freezing my entire body.
Don’t be alarmed?
Has that line ever worked on anyone in the history of panicking?
Moving swiftly, Sawyer’s standing beside me by the time the nurse gets to the bed. She settles in by my legs, flips up the blankets, and quickly dons a pair of exam gloves.
I don’t even care if Big Al or my brother get a view they don’t want. They’ll avert their eyes, or they won’t. All that matters is finding out what’s happening with my babies.
Sawyer wraps both of his strong hands around one of mine. We trade worried glances, both of us remaining silent.
He mouths, It’s going to be okay .
I want to believe him.
Laci does a quick internal exam, exactly like she’s done several times already. I study every line on her face, waiting with bated breath for the tiniest hint of an explanation. Her eyes sweep around the ceiling, and her mouth hangs open like she’s deep in thought. She’s going completely by touch as she prods around down there.
“There it is,” she mutters to herself. After adjusting her hand, she eyes the fetal monitor closely.
“What’s happening?” I finally blurt out.
She quirks her head to one side, meeting Sawyer’s gaze. “Dad, push the nurse call button for me. I can’t move my hands.”
Sawyer springs into action, hitting the button on the side of the bed rail. The speaker chimes a second later, and a cheery voice answers, “What do you need, Mrs. Sawyer?”
Laci answers for us, her voice tinged with a spec of alarm. “Kimmy, page the doctor and send in a team STAT. I’ve got a handful of umbilical cord.”
“Got it,” Kimmy answers, quickly disconnecting.
Before I go into hysterics, Laci returns to her previously calming demeanor. “Sammy, listen to me. Everything is gonna happen quickly. It’s time to get the babies out.”
I frantically grab Sawyer’s hands with both of mine. Like he’s my lifeline.“Are they okay? What’s with the cord?”
“As baby A’s head descended in the birthing canal, the cord got twisted around her neck. Each time you have a contraction, it constricts the cord, reducing the blood flow and oxygen going to the baby. That’s why her heart rate was struggling. I’ve snuck my hand in there to give her some space. I’m keeping my eye on her vitals, and they’re strong as long as my hand stays here.”
“She’s saving the baby’s life,” Sue mutters from the corner of the room, echoing my thoughts perfectly.
“Just an ordinary day in the maternity ward,” Laci tosses casually.
As she promised, everything shifts into high gear. It happens so quickly I don’t have time to panic further, which is a relief in itself.
The big lights flicker on as someone yanks open the privacy curtain in front of the door. Two nurses bolt toward the bed like women on a mission. One on each side, they grab the chuck pad underneath my bottom and scoot me over with ease. I’m tempted to make a joke to the guys about how effortlessly these two small women moved my fat ass, but it’s not the time for jokes.
I’m filing it away for later, though.
One of the nurses addresses Sawyer with a kind firmness. “Dad, I need you to move aside for a minute.”
Just as dumbstruck as I am, he releases my hands and backs away without speaking.
With her hand still planted inside me to save my baby, Laci rises off the bed, leaning over my legs from a standing position.
The other nurses work in tandem around her to transform the bed into a delivery table. They snap large, padded stirrups into place on both sides and secure my legs in them. The foot of the bed breaks down so there’s only empty space below my butt.
Now, I’m trussed up and fully exposed like a free peep show.
Hope it doesn’t give Sawyer any ideas. Last thing I need is for one of these beds to show up in our house. I wouldn’t put it past him.
Another nurse comes in, pushing a supply cart. Two newborn beds with warmers are wheeled in by other nurses and stationed in the corner.
The flurry of coordinated chaos does a marvelous job of keeping me distracted from worrying excessively about my baby’s heartbeat.
Laci’s standing between my spread legs now, her hand remaining in its life-saving position.
“I’m naming our daughter after you,” I blurt out a second after the thought comes into my mind.
Her smile brightens up the room almost as much as the high-wattage stand light they just wheeled over to shine on my crotch.
Again, Sawyer better not get any ideas.
“Dad, you can go back to her now,” one of the other nurses tells him before looking at me with a warm smile. “You’re in great hands.”
“Right now, I’m in Laci’s hands. So I’d have to agree,” I joke nervously.
“Technically, her hands are in you,” she deadpans without missing a beat.
Sawyer moves back to my side, and we reach for each other in unison. Mom approaches from the other side, with Sue hanging out in the corner as planned.
“Where’s Leo and Big Al?” I ask them.
“They stepped into the hall,” my mom answers. “Unless someone shoos them away, they’ll be right outside the door.”
I like having my brother close for this, even if it’s just the artificial sense of safety he provides. I wish Drew were here too. We told him and his family to stay in Maine for the holidays because of the stupid mafia threat.
Turning my attention to my nurse, I ask, “Laci, is it still okay for the three of them to stay in here for the delivery?”
She nods, darting her gaze from Sawyer to Mom and then Sue. “As long as no one gets in the way, that’s fine. We’ve got lots of space in here.”
My doctor comes in without fanfare. She’s as cool as a cucumber while one of the nurses gives her an update. Another nurse holds open some type of protective covering. Doctor Root steps into the shirt, and the nurse ties it behind her.
Next thing I know, her big blue eyes are sparkling in front of me. “Ready to become a mom times two, Samantha?”
“Seems irrelevant whether I’m ready or not.”
She rolls her eyes, having grown accustomed to my brand of snark over the last few months. “I like to give my patients the illusion they have a choice in the matter. But yeah, you’re right. It’s go time, regardless.”
Stuff keeps happening between my legs, and I’m vaguely aware of the nurses talking and working together on who knows what. But my attention is on the doctor.
“Are they okay?” I ask her, all my sarcasm evaporating.
“Yeah. We’re gonna get the first one out quickly to ensure she stays that way.”
Sawyer squeezes my hand, stroking my knuckles with his thumb. “Will you need to do a C-section?”
She kicks her head back, mouth quirked into a smile. “I almost didn’t recognize you without a silly accent.” She winks at me, then gives us a serious answer. “Baby A is right in perfect position. So she is coming out the old-fashioned way.”
Laci announces, “We’re ready, doctor.”
“Here we go,” she responds, moving into position at the foot of the bed.
“Can I do the thing?” Sawyer asks me, his big brown eyes begging me.
I answer with a flick of my wrist. “I’ll allow it.”
Channeling Mariah Carey, he squeals, “It’s tiiiiime .”