Chapter 7
Hodge
Her little boyfriend or whatever the hell he is, threatened me, which I found amusing. I’m not sure who he is or what he thinks he can do to me, but he’s dead wrong.
Now Kemah? Kemah stands in front of me with a shocked look on her face, pink cheeks, and eyes that see deep into my fucking soul.
“I have to go,” she says softly, although I can tell she doesn’t want to leave.
“You’re fine here.”
“No. I need to get home.”
“He isn’t gonna be happy with you right now. I would give him some time to cool off. Besides, I said you’re not leavin’ yet.”
“Who do you think you are? You can’t just boss me around,” she snaps at me, causing me to smile.
“When you’re here, or in my presence, I am your boss and you’re gonna love every fuckin’ second of it.
Now turn around and walk that sexy ass of yours back inside.
” Her lips part as I nod toward the door.
I’m a little shocked when she actually turns and walks back to the door, pulling it open.
She steps inside, and I step in behind her, pulling the door closed behind us.
I walk closer to her, stopping when I’m right behind her, resting a hand on her hip.
She jerks under my touch, and I quickly pull my hand away from her.
“You want to eat?”
“I’m fine.”
“No, you’re not. If you’re hungry, say so.”
“Fine. I haven’t eaten since breakfast,” she finally confesses. I step around her and motion for her to follow me as I lead her through the crowd and into the kitchen. I pull out a stool and nod toward it, watching as she sits down.
“I can make omelets. In fact, I’m really fuckin’ good at it.” I toss her a grin over my shoulder.
“I love omelets.”
“Good. Watch the master in action.” I laugh as I pull out the ingredients and start cooking.
I don’t pay much attention to her while I cook, trying to perfect this omelet.
Only when I’m finished do I plate the food, turn, and set it on the counter in front of Kemah.
I watch her as she stares at the food in front of her, but she doesn’t make a move to eat it.
“This is when you pick up the fork,” I remind her. She looks up at me as I pick up my fork and take a big bite of my omelet. She reaches for her fork and cuts hers, but doesn’t bring it to her mouth.
“You know, there’s somethin’ sexy as fuck watchin’ a woman eat,” I tell her. Now her eyes meet mine, and she stares at me as if I’ve lost my mind. I’m not lying, though. There’s something sexy as fuck watching a woman enjoy her food.
“Are you serious?”
“Do I look serious?”
“I don’t know, Hodge.” I nearly groan, hearing her say my name.
“I’m very serious. Eat, Kemah. Or would you like it better if I fed you?
” She starts to shake her head when I cut another piece off my own and raise the fork to her lips.
Kemah is hesitant at first, but eventually opens her mouth, and I slide my fork inside.
I watch her as she closes her mouth, wrapping her lips around the fork as I pull it free from her mouth.
Kemah chews as I watch her, my cock growing hard.
I adjust myself on the stool and take another bite while she does the same.
“Do you work?” I ask her.
“No.”
“What do you do all day?”
“Not much. I sit inside and mostly look at magazines.”
“That doesn’t sound like a fun life.”
“It isn’t, but it’s mine.”
“Why? Why not go out and do somethin’?” I ask her.
“I … I just can’t. There’s too much going on,” she replies, as she continues to eat.
I don’t ask any more questions as we both finish our food.
I offer her a glass of water, and she takes it.
A little water runs down her chin as she takes a drink.
The thought of licking it off her body crosses my mind as I clear my throat.
I crack my neck from side to side before reaching across, picking up her plate, and placing it in the sink. When I turn back, I lean against the counter, crossing my arms over my chest as I look at her.
“Tell me what you thought when you saw the accident.”
“What do you mean?”
“What did you think? What went through your head?” She shifts on the stool, moving to face me as she holds her head high.
“I thought, what a way to go. Alone. No one rushed to your side, no one seemed to care. I … I thought how lonely it would be if that were your last seconds on earth.” I spot a tear in her eye, and my chest constricts.
How could she know what I felt at the time?
How could she know that I felt the exact same way when I lost my best friend?
I clear my throat once more before reaching over and wiping away the single tear that rolled down her cheek.
“Thank you, Kemah. For stayin’. For comin’ back.”
“Why thank me for that?”
“You’re right. No one deserves to be alone. I’m a fuck up at best. I’ve made so many mistakes that I can’t even begin to count them. I don’t deserve what you did,” I admit to her.
“What does that mean? Of course you do. Mistakes are just that, Hodge. We can’t fix most of them, but we can do better.”
“What if we can’t? What if we can’t do better?”
“We can always do better. That’s the beauty of life, Hodge. If we don’t like something, we can change it. If we fuck something up, we have the power to make it right.”
“That might be true for you, but we aren’t the same, Kemah. And I don’t think I’d want to be just a normal man,” I admit to her. This is my life, the club, and the things we do. It’s all a part of who I am.
“Then don’t be. There’s no reason you should change who you are.
” I nod my head before I pull out a cigarette and light it up.
Kemah doesn’t say anything, just watches me.
The door to the kitchen opens, and one of the club girls walks in.
She looks between us but then moves directly toward me.
She throws her arms around my waist and cuddles into my side.
“Having a good time?” she asks as she peers up at me, licking her lips.
“Yeah, I am. What about you?”
“It’s a little boring for me. The guys are all busy,” she purrs, and I know what she wants.
“I’m going to go,” Kemah announces. She starts to stand from her stool when a low growl falls from my throat.
“Sit down,” I demand.
“I need to go. It’s late,” she argues as she moves toward the door.
“I said, sit down!” I roar louder this time.
When Kemah turns to look at me, I can see the heat in her eyes.
Fuck, she likes this. She likes it when I tell her what to do.
Kemah walks back over and sits down on the stool when I shove Lynn off me.
She takes the hint and leaves the room as I stalk toward Kemah.
Our eyes are locked in a heated stare as I lift my hand to her cheek, cupping it, and then I lower my lips to hers and kiss her.
I kiss her hard and rough. I kiss her until neither of us can breathe.
And then I don’t stop. I keep going, pressing myself against her body until she can feel my fucking hard cock pressed against her.
This woman is doing things to me. Things I haven’t felt in a long time, and it’s a little unnerving for me.
I pull away, and Kemah stares up at me, confused by what’s happening. She shakes her head, and then she stands, rushing from the room, and I let her go. I don’t know why, but I fucking let her go.
She doesn’t deserve this life. She doesn’t deserve to be a part of what I do, just like her.
The ghost of my past didn’t deserve this life either, yet I forced it on her.
I made her into this. I pushed her to her death.
I pushed her until there was nothing left to push, and then that was it. That was the end of it.
I bring the cigarette back to my lips and inhale the nicotine into my lungs as I close my eyes and try to drown out the images of her lying there in a mangled mess. It doesn’t do any good. That’s the only image I’ll ever see.