Chapter 17 #2
I was in a daze as I tried to find my truck in the parking garage. It took me like twenty minutes to find it and once I did I just sat there and cried for what seemed like hours. I couldn’t deal with that drama anymore. I was drained mentally, emotionally, and physically.
I drove directly to my children’s daycare and picked them all up. I took them out for ice cream. I was trying to figure out my next move. I could no longer be in Jahrein’s presence, but I didn’t want to keep him away from his kids.
After the kids were good and messy I took them to my apartment. Jahrein was calling my cell phone non-stop. I couldn’t talk to him. What was there to say?
I tried to keep it together for my kids, but I failed miserably. I couldn’t stop the tears from falling. “It’s okay, mommy.” Jahrein Junior consoled me as he rubbed my back. He was like my little protector.
“Yeah, mommy.” Jhyrah nodded as she wrapped her little arms around me.
I sat and let my children comfort me. I realized that as long as I had them that everything would be okay.
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BAM, BAM, BAM! I heard some loud knocks at my door. It was well after three in the morning and we had been sleep for hours. I tip-toed to the door to find that it was Khalil standing on the other side.
BAM, BAM! He banged again. I thought about just letting his ass knock. Then, after about eight more knocks I realized that he wasn’t leaving.
“What are you doing here?” I cracked my door.
He stuck his foot in the door and barged in, damn near knocking me to the floor. “Who you got in here?” he asked me while breathing heavily with beads of sweat dripping down his face as he looked around.
“Just my kids.” I replied hesitantly. He was looking like a crazed maniac.
“Why haven’t you returned any of my calls?” he asked me angrily.
“Khalil, I told you to give me some time.” I sighed.
“Time?! Time for what?”
“I have a lot to deal with right now. I’m not trying to complicate your life right now.”
“Don’t feed me that bullshit! If you wanna be with that nigga, just say it!” he barked.
I frowned. This dude was getting way out of pocket. “First of all, you need to lower your fucking voice. My children are sleep. And secondly, you need to use your damn common sense. If I wanted to be with him then why in the hell would I be here?”
“Well, something is keeping you away.”
“Yeah, it’s me. I’m keeping me away. I don’t want to make the same mistakes. I have a whole lot to consider besides myself. I can’t live my life for me only. I have five other lives to consider.”
“Oh, so I didn’t know that? You’re using those kids as a crutch. You’re letting little kids make up your mind. Of course the kids will be partial to their daddy. That doesn’t mean that they can’t get used to me, either.”
He was dead set on being with me. He was so damn concerned about being around me and my kids. Hell, he hardly ever talked about his own son.
“I’m not letting my kids do nothing for me. I just feel that I should take my time when choosing another man to be in their lives. If I’m not serious with you, then they shouldn’t even be around you.”
“Baby, please just give a nigga a break.” he pleaded.
For hours I sat and listened to him plead his case. He was beginning to sound pitiful. Where was all the confidence he once possessed? He was so willing to submit to my will. I didn’t even know why he was fighting so hard for something that had so little meaning to me.
Right when the sun was rising we heard, BAM, BAM, BAM! Someone was at my door and that time I had no clue of who it could’ve been.
“Are you expecting somebody?” Khalil badgered, as if he had all the right in the world to question me.
“No.” I whispered knowing that whoever was on the other side of the door came for drama.
I went and peeped out the peephole. Jahrein was wearing this crazy ass expression on his face as he continued to knock hard on my door. “Raven!” he yelled.
It seemed as if those niggas’ personal mission was to get me evicted from my quiet complex. I knew that Jahrein was disturbing my neighbors with all that noise.
“Mommy, who’s knocking on the door?” Junior questioned as he rubbed his eyes while leaning out of their bedroom‘s doorway.
He said it loud enough for his daddy to hear. “Open the door, Raven! I hear my son!”
I was like a damn deer caught in head lights. I didn’t know how Jahrein figured out where I lived.
“Open this fuckin door!” he yelled as he kicked my door.
“Let me handle this nigga.” Khalil offered.
“Hell no.” I snapped. I guess my protective instincts kicked in.
I stood and watched as Jahrein kicked harder and harder. He was about to kick my door off the hinges.
“Jahrein, stop! You’re scaring your kids!” I screamed.
“Open the door, then.” he yelled back.
“No, Jahrein. Call me. We can discuss everything over the phone.”
“Nah, I already tried that, remember? You wouldn’t answer the phone!” he said as he gave my door another kick.
“Jahrein, please just leave!” I cried.
“What you crying for? That nigga aint gon do shit while I’m here.” Khalil spat as he revealed a silver gun.
I wasn’t expecting that. Then I really started panicking. Was that nigga crazy? Why did he even bring a gun to come visit me, anyway?
“You need to put that away.” I snapped. Khalil sucked his teeth but he still placed the gun back in the waist of his pants.
It was crazy how I was thinking even while Jahrein was outside my door acting a plum fool.
I would gladly take Khalil to the floor before I’d watch him draw a gun on my husband.
I didn’t care if Jahrein was right or wrong.
Jahrein wasn’t giving up. I didn’t want to put his ass in jail, but my options were running short. With one last push he successfully kicked my door in.
My door came tumbling down and all I could do was brace myself. “You got this bitch ass nigga in here!” he yelled as he charged at Khalil full speed ahead.
Khalil threw a mean jab and Jahrein countered with a right. By then all of my kids were awake and screaming at the top of their lungs.
“Daddy!” they all cried.
Khalil and Jahrein went crashing into my glass coffee table. That didn’t stop them from going blow for blow. I cringed a little when Jahrein punched Khalil in the mouth. Blood splattered everywhere.
“Y’all stop it!” I cried.
“Police!” I heard a voice call out.
I looked to my left and saw the police entering my apartment. Apparently, one of my neighbors called them. Two uniformed police officers stormed in and tried to pry Jahrein and Khalil apart.
Once they realized that the police were there they released one another, but by then it was too late. The damage was done. The police pinned them both to the floor and slapped handcuffs on their wrists.
“Don’t take my daddy to jail.” Jahrein Junior cried.
I was trying my best to console my children.
After both Khalil and Jahrein were placed in the back of some patrol cars the police tried to get my statement.
I didn’t want either one of them to go to jail.
So, I told the police that I didn’t see what was going on, and that when I woke up they were already fighting.
“So, ma’am do you want to press charges? Your husband had to kick your door in.” The black officer said.
“No, I just want him to leave.” I replied.
“Oh, he’s going downtown for sure. We’ve gotten both stories and we believe that your boyfriend was just acting in self-defense.”
“He’s not my boyfriend.” I corrected him. I didn’t like the sound of him saying my husband and my boyfriend.
“Okay, well your friend is going to jail for the possession of a firearm by a convicted felon.” the officer told me before he left out my door frame. There was no longer a door there. Jahrein had to have been pretty pissed to muster up the strength to knock down that door.
“I want my daddy.” Jhyrah cried.
“I know. I know.” I said as I rubbed her small back.
I just sat there in a daze. I didn’t even know how to explain this to anyone. I felt like I was the cause of my husband’s incarceration. My children were hurt more than anybody.
Eventually, I called Red to go get her son. She had a million questions and I was tired of thinking about it. She said that she’d go bond him out. I offered her the money but she refused it. So, I just stayed at home with my kids trying not to lose my marbles.
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“You aint shit! I don’t know why I ever fucked with you in the first place. I just got caught up with your nasty ass. If it wasn’t for my kids I would curse the day I met yo’ trashy ass. Suck a dick and choke on it, bitch!”
I sat and listened to Jahrein’s message over and over. He’d left that along with several more talking to me like a whore off the streets. I was pissed off. He had no right to feel that way about me. I knew that he was lashing out, but damn.
Things were so fucked up that I wanted to pull my hair out. My kids were constantly crying for Jahrein. Everybody was calling me selfish. I didn’t know who to turn to. I needed somebody to talk to. Somebody that understood me.
I decided to call Michelle.
“Hello.” she spoke into the phone.
“Bitch, what are you doing?” I asked her.
“I know this aint Raven?”
“Yeah, it’s me.” I sighed.
“So, you finally decide to call a bitch, huh?”
“Pretty much. So, what have you been up to?”
“Just trying to maintain.” she sighed sounding unhappy. “I just finished braiding Lucky’s hair. I’m so glad that the nigga is gone.”
“Trouble in paradise?”
“Bitch, that’s the understatement of the year.”
“What’s going on?”
“Shit, he’s been hanging out at all times of the night. Then we got into a huge fight when I got a call from his bitch on the side.” she blurted.
“Bitch, who?” I asked, wanting to know all the juicy details.
“Your girl Shell, with her powder head ass.” she let out.
“Stop lying, girl. That bitch there, main. So, what did she call to tell you?” I wanted to know.