Chapter Fifteen
Grayson
The boys and I were silent, all of us lost in our thoughts, sitting around the meeting table.
It had been three hours since Donna Hale confessed her dark truth to us, revealing something so sinister, it made even my stomach twist. I bit down on my jaw—hard, grinding my teeth to the point of pain, and I kept my eyes on my cell phone sitting in front of me.
I needed to make this call.
I had to make this call. There was no other choice.
A deep, long sigh deflated my chest, my breath coming from my nose. It was the only sound in the room. Hayes wasn’t even pacing like he usually would. No, instead, he was sitting across from me, staring at the ceiling, his throat working every few minutes. Ash was seated at the opposite end of the table, his hands clasped together as he memorized the wood grain. Dominic was to my right, staring at the wall behind Hayes’ head, Jake on my left, doing the same. He’d come back immediately after Ash called him with the update.
Robert Hale wasn’t just Edwin Griff and Charles McLain.
Robert Hale was also The St. Louis River Killer, the serial killer who’d been terrorizing the Midwestern city for the last decade.
According to the St. Louis Police Department, he was suspected of killing at least 50 murders in the state of Missouri and Illinois. He’d gotten his name early in his career, because all his victims were found on the bank of the Mississippi River, usually a few clicks up or down from The Arch. During the first few years of his killing sprees, bodies would turn up almost every month, or sometimes, every week. Then, something changes. His killings became more spread out and random—messy. The FBI had classified him as an organized killer, but that was before the gap.
One thing stayed the same, though.
All his victims were classified as obese. Sex, age, or race didn’t matter.
The St. Louis River Killer was a fat-phobic serial killer.
Carrie’s beautiful body and smile flashed in my mind then as I worked to put the pieces of the puzzle together.
“It’s been hours, Gray,” Hayes said, ending the stretch of silence in the meeting room.
I lifted my head to look at him, and then I felt the rest of the boys’ eyes on me, waiting for an order or a plan. Something.
As much as I didn’t want to, I had to make a decision.
“Once the FBI gets involved, there’s a good chance we might be doing some time for that prison break,” I told the room. “Are you prepared for that?”
“Wouldn’t be the first time I’ve done time and, because I chose to hang out with you sons of bitches as a career choice, I knew it probably wasn’t going to be my last,” Ash rumbled from his end of the table.
Jake twisted his head to look at him. “What the hell do you mean, you’ve done time?” he asked, shock laced throughout his tired voice.
Ash leveled him with a look. “It was before the SEALS, Jake.”
“I don’t give a shit when it was. Why the hell wasn’t it on your record when I pull a background check on you?”
“The SEALS got it erased,” Dominic explained calmly from his place, tapping his fingers on the surface of the table.
Jake whipped his head around, his eyes wide. “You knew?”
Dominic raised a brow. “I thought everyone knew.”
My tech man returned his attention back to Ash as Hayes pinched the bridge of his nose, muttering something under his breath. I know I should stop it and get everyone back on track, but for the first time in days, I felt normal. Jake and Ash bickering back and forth provided me with a sense of familiarity and in a way, it urged the hope I was beginning to lose to hold on just a little tighter.
We were going to find Carrie.
We were also going to expose Robert Hale for what he truly was and bring closure to so many families.
We were also going to go to prison, but not before I killed Monica Lark and Brandon Hale with my bare hands.
“Do you two always have to bicker like children?” Hayes bit out through clenched teeth.
Ash leaned back in his chair. “Do you always have to have a stick up your ass, Mitchell?”
Dominic chuckled from beside me, reviewing his notes from Donna. When everything was said and done, she would serve time too. Her husband would spend the rest of his days alone and without two teeth, but he would be breathing. Dominic came close to killing the fucker when Mr. Hale refused to give us any information.
He didn’t know anything.
He’d been blind to it all, thinking he had two perfect sons and a beautiful, safe daughter. No one could blame him for his wife keeping him in the dark.
“It’s interesting,” Dominic mused softly as the rest of the Red Snake team bickered.
“What’s that?” I asked, leaning forward to rest my forearms on the table, my eyes on his notes.
“Robert Hale wasn’t abused by his parents in any way,” he said, looking at my profile.
I pondered that for a moment. “No, but his father was essentially missing from his life the majority of his childhood, and we have to assume there’s more to the story.”
Dominic hummed. “You think Donna Hale is hiding something?”
I looked at him. “I think Donna Hale was the ringleader in all of this.”
“Or perhaps she was just scared of Robert.”
“A mother should protect her children from anything—including her other children,” I deadpanned.
“Do you want me to question her again?”
I shook my head. “I want both of them out of our fucking holding rooms and back in St. Louis. They can sit in Garner’s holding rooms.”
“Garner doesn’t take serial killer cases,” Dominic reminded me.
“Nope, but he’ll take this one. It’s too close to home. He made a deal with the Mafia and Oasis, after all.”
“One of these days, I’m going to shove my foot so far up your fucking ass—”
“—you are so fucking grumpy when you’re tired,” Jake interrupted Hayes’ threat to Ash.
I took a deep breath. “Could you three not kill each other right now? At least wait until we get Carrie back,” I clipped, putting our conversation on the back burner for now.
The men sat back in their seats.
“Let’s get this started,” Hayes suggested, jerking his chin to me.
Clearing my throat, I nodded. “Right. You boys go home, get some sleep. I’m going to Agent Garner.”
“No way in fuck you’re doing that on your own,” Ash growled from his end of the table.
“He’s right,” Dominic agreed from beside me.
“We’re staying here,” Jake said.
I looked over to Hayes, and he leaned back in his seat. “I’m quite comfortable here. What about you boys?”
“Yup,” Ash said, popping the “p.”
“Most comfortable I’ve ever been, I’d say. What about you, Dominic?” Jake said, leaning back in his seat.
“Absolutely.”
I shook my head and looked at the ceiling. “You are all pains in my ass,” I muttered.
“We’re a team,” Hayes said firmly.
I scrubbed a hand down my face. “Right,” I grumbled, swiping the phone off table. “Let’s get this shit over with.”
We didn’t want to get the FBI involved because it would reach Oasis, tangling this web even more. It was already a fucking shit show. I rose from my seat, dialing James Garner’s number as I walked over to the windows. The snow had finally stopped, the night sky finally clear, the moon was bright tonight. I looked over to the mountains and took a breath, my thumb hovering over the call button.
The blizzard wasn’t over. Another round would be hitting Denver within the hour.
My eyes lingered on the moon.
I love you, Sunshine.
Sighing, I looked back down to the phone, ready to make the call.
Suddenly, a sound from the down the hall had my head snapping to the door, and Hayes was out of his seat, pulling his gun out. He looked back to us. “What the fuck was that?”
I shoved my phone in my pocket and pulled my gun from its clip, moving around the table to stand beside Hayes by the doorway.
“The security system is still locked and the Hales’ are still in their rooms,” Jake said, standing now as his hand worked his tablet, his brows furrowed. “Cameras are clear. No one is in here—”
“Red Snake, do you copy? This is Hallow Ranch. Over,” a static voice echoed throughout the office, drifting towards us from down the hall.
I stared down the length of the hallway, my chest heaving now. “Ash? Is that—”
“It’s the fucking radio,” he said, coming around the table, following Jake. “I always leave it on just in case, but no one has reached out to us on that thing in years.”
Hayes and I shared a look. “What the fuck do the cowboys want?” he asked.
“Grayson, do you copy? It—it—” A static noise followed, and we were moving, jogging down to Ash’s office.
When we were about two feet from the entrance, Mags’ voice came loud and clear. “ We have Carrie . Do you copy? Carrie is safe —she’s with me .”
My heart stopped. I froze.
Carrie?
Carrie was at Hallow Ranch?
Ash moved me out of the way as the shock overwhelmed me.
Carrie was safe?
She was okay?
Ash rounded his desk, snatching the radio from its base. “This is Ash. Over.”
Hayes put his hand on my shoulder as we waited for Mags to come back.
More static cut through the air, followed by my best friend’s rough voice. “Ash, we have Carrie. Is Grayson there? Over.”
All I could hear was Carrie’s laugh in my head, and once more, my chest was heaving as the organ inside it worked on overdrive.
“She’s okay,” I said, shaking my head as I shoved my fingers into my hair. I looked at Ash. “She’s okay?” I asked.
“Is she okay? Over,” Ash replied, his eyes burning into me, his jaw tight.
Jake looked at me, emotion painted all over his face, his chest heaving. Dominic came to stand beside Ash, his eyes on the radio as he remained still as a statue, waiting.
More static and then, “She’s okay. Over.”
I fell to my knees, and for the first time in my life, I didn’t feel any pain. Not anywhere in my body, not in my dark soul, or even in my heart. For the first time, I felt a sense of peace I’d never known.
My sunshine was safe.
Before I could stop it, my shoulders were shaking, sobs leaving me as I shoved my hands back into my hair.
She was fucking safe.
“We can’t get anything in the air tonight, Grayson,” Hayes told me.
We’d moved the radio into my office, waiting for an update from Mags. I was behind my desk, Tic-Tac on my lap while Hayes and Ash were seated in front of me. Jake and Dominic were packing, getting everything ready to go to Hallow Ranch.
I looked up from the radio in my hand and out the windows, seeing nothing but a sheet of white. The second round of the storm was here, and I was beginning to remember how much I hated the fucking snow. Despite the need to get to Carrie as soon as possible burning inside me, the fire growing by the second, I couldn’t risk anyone’s life. Hayden was only three hours away, but we had to fly over mountains to get there.
I didn’t feel like crashing into a mountain tonight, and neither did any of the other guys.
I nodded and looked back to Hayes. “I understand,” I rumbled, my voice still thick.
My team had seen me lose my mind and then cry over my woman all within a week’s time. Truth be told, I didn’t know how to feel about that. I was so used to being closed off, not showing emotion for or to anyone.
I was used to being cold, and then Carrie came into my life, warming me for the first time.
“Gray?”
Ash’s voice pulled me from my thoughts, and I jerked my chin to him. “What is it, Ash?”
His rugged, handsome face was serious as he leaned forward, his elbows on his knees, letting his hands hang down. “Carrie is safe, you understand that, right? Hallow Ranch is the second safest place in the world for her,” he said gently.
Tic-Tac took a deep breath in my lap, whimper in his sleep, and all eyes went to him. I brought my hand to his head, stroking him as I said, “I know that.”
“Then why do you look like someone just gutted you?” Hayes asked softly.
Looking up, I saw the concern in their eyes—concern for me. “I’m alright, boys. Better than alright. Carrie is safe, and that’s all that matters.”
Ash shook his head. “Wrong. You’re wrong, Grayson. You matter too. What you went through this week…It was a lot.”
My eyes bounced back and forth between them. “What is this?” I asked, my voice growing hard.
Hayes leaned forward then. “This is us coming to make sure you’re okay.”
My eyes snapped to Ash’s. “Why are you checking on me after what you went through last year? What you had to suffer through until I found you?”
He blinked, and then slowly, he leaned back, looking away from me. “Truth be told, Gray, I don’t remember any of it.”
Hayes’ head snapped over to Ash. “What?”
Ash’s throat worked before looking down to his lap. “I remember the woman. I remember being blinded by rage and fear as I went into Devils Den. I remember fighting. I remember being jumped and taken hostage.” He was quiet for a moment. “I remember all of that, but I don’t remember the torture. I think my mind is protecting me from it. You know, there are so many things I don’t remember about my missions, my tours. It’s like those pieces of time are missing or blank. My time in Devils Den is like that. I don’t remember, but that doesn’t mean I’m okay.”
My mind instantly went to Carrie and all the suppressed memories from her marriage to Robert that had been rushing up to the surface. The longer she was healing, the more memories that came, which meant that someday, all the horrors Ash had to live through in that hellhole would return, and he would have to re-live them all.
My stomach sank.
“Do you want to talk about it?” I asked, my brows furrowed. I knew pity was painted across my face, but it couldn’t be helped. He was my brother, and I’d nearly lost him.
He looked at me. “No, I didn’t say all that because I wanted to talk about me. What I’m trying to tell you is that you don’t have to be okay just because Carrie is safe now. What you experienced, especially with your PTSD episode a few days ago, we know you aren’t okay.”
A lump formed in my throat, and I couldn’t handle it any longer, so I looked back down to Tic-Tac. He was nothing but an orange fur ball to everyone else, but he was a part of Carrie and that made him mine. His being here at Red Snake had been a blessing in disguise, from hearing his little collar bell jingle as he ran up and down the hall to him sleeping in my office every night while I worked. His presence almost grounded me in a way, but he couldn’t stop the nightmares.
“I haven’t slept,” I confessed.
“We know,” Hayes replied softly.
I had been too scared to sleep. What if I missed something? What if I was dragged back into the past? What if I had to witness Carrie suffer the same torture I had? What if I couldn’t find my way back and I lost my mind altogether?
Swallowing, I dropped the confession into the conversation. “I was too afraid.”
No one said anything for a few minutes, and I was grateful. I was the leader of Red Snake. I was supposed to be fearless and cold.
“Grayson?” Ash called.
I raised my head, bracing for the words about to come from him.
“It’s okay to be afraid, man. I’m fucking scared shitless half the time,” he told us, his features softening. “You know you don’t have to put on a brave face for all of us. We are grown men who can handle emotion. That’s the way it should be.”
“I’m scared every time I get into the cockpit.”
Ash and I looked over to Hayes to find him staring at the table, his face set. He blinked, shaking his head. “I was in the cockpit when I lost my entire squadron.”
I stiffened.
No one at Red Snake knew the details of Hayes’ losses in the Air Force. He never talked about it, and we never asked. When we’d first met years ago, he only told us he lost some people over there. Never once had he shared any details as to how or why.
Hayes ran a hand through his hair, sighing before a misplaced chuckle came from him. “Most days, I wake up, and I have to tell myself that even though I don’t feel like I deserve to be breathing, I’m still breathing for a reason.” He looked at me and then to Ash. “Red Snake is that reason.”
“Hayes,” I said, unable to say anything else.
He gave me a smirk, sitting back in his chair. “This isn’t about me, Gray. It’s about you.”
“You’re allowed to not be okay, and if anyone is going to convince you of that, it’s Carrie. Look at her life, man. Look at how much she has overcome,” Ash explained.
“I think,” Hayes began. “I think Carrie is meant for you Gray. I think she’s supposed to teach you how to accept not being okay. For years, you’ve been running Red Snake and hunting non-stop, and while we appreciate it, the boys and I often wondered if you were even human.”
Ash nodded.
Hayes continued, “For the first time since knowing you, Gray, you acted like a human with real emotions the night Leo Samuels assaulted Carrie.”
I flinched before I could stop myself.
“Falling for Carrie Hale was the best thing that could have ever happened to you, and we are so fucking sorry we couldn’t protect her enough,” Ash whispered thickly.
My eyes sliced over to Hayes once more. “We should’ve done more. I should’ve dug into the Robert Hale and ignored your orders to leave it alone. I didn’t want to, Gray. I swear to fucking Christ, I didn’t want to. I felt something in my gut about that fucker and I should’ve dug into him. I’m sorry,” Hayes said, his voice cracking.
“Guys, this isn’t—”
“The second you claimed her, she was under our protection,” Ash cut me off, looking solemn.
“Hell, she should’ve been under our protection the second you let her go and we just didn’t see it,” Hayes murmured, more so to himself than to us.
I cleared my throat. “Look at me, both of you.” When I had both pairs of eyes on me once more, I said, “Carrie getting kidnapped wasn’t your fault. If it’s anyone’s fault, it’s mine. Carrie may be under the protection of Red Snake, but she is mine. I’m her first line of defense, her protector, and I failed her. And to answer your questions truthfully, I’m not okay. This has turned into a shit show of what the fuck, and we have a lot that we, as a team, need to handle and discuss. But not before we go to Hallow Ranch in the morning and get Carrie back.”
Both men nodded.
“When everything is done and settled, I’m going to get some help. That is my promise to both of you and to Red Snake,” I said firmly.
They nodded again.
“Good. Now, go get some sleep,” I commanded as I looked to Hayes, “I want to be in the air at sunrise.”
“Yes, boss,” he replied, giving me a rare smile.