Chapter 23 #3
He pulls the car up as far as it can go, only stopping when the hood threatens to touch the ‘do not cross’ police tape.
His eyes scan the ash-covered area carefully, like he’s trying to put pieces together from his memories, but I see the moment confusion takes over fully.
I just step out of the car, not giving him a moment to doubt himself any longer.
He probably hates that I didn’t wait for him, but I think getting myself out once won’t hurt in a moment like this.
The rain doesn’t bother me. While it may be a little cold, I welcome it.
It’s slowed down a lot since this morning, and the light mist reminds me of a time we both look back to when we’re too overwhelmed.
It doesn’t take but about a second for him to appear beside me, following me like he always has.
As I lean back against the front of the car, I barely hear his words.
“What happened to this place?”
“I burnt it down,” I admit proudly, and he snaps his head to look at me.
Shock covers his face with wide, feral eyes and a tight jaw.
As much as I want to stare at him, I know I would just get lost before I can confess.
So, I’m sure to do that first. “You were home about two weeks when I snuck out to do it.” I inhale deeply through my nose, gathering my resolve before I meet his eyes.
Anger instantly begins to brew within them when he realizes I’m telling the truth.
Then I see the betrayal in them, and I try to justify myself.
“That’s the one and only time I’ve done that, I swear. ”
“You went out alone?” he asks heatedly.
“No. Not alone. Victoria came with me to show me around, and I had Carter in my ear from the house.”
“Ashia—” he says through gritted teeth, but I stop him.
“I’m only showing you this to prove a point to you, baby.
You can be mad at me for it later.” I turn my head back to the building, conjuring up the memory of its flames without even having to concentrate.
I can still smell the smoke and feel the burn to my eyes when it got too out of control.
We didn’t stay too long, because we knew we couldn’t get caught, but I wanted to see this hell hole fall apart.
“The only thing you’ve done to me, Damien, is free me.
I burned this place to the ground because I wanted to.
I stomped DeLuca’s corpse into the stone floor because I wanted to…
” My eyes are glued onto what’s left of the foundation, nothing but burnt wood and crumbled stone.
I fight not to cry, though I can feel my emotions starting to overwhelm me.
“Because that vile bitch hurt the love of my life.”
He moves to stand in front of me, obstructing my view, only to replace it with a face that is both striking and soothing.
His massive stature looms over me, and even after all of this time, I’m not used to it.
I’m not sure I ever will be. His hair may be cut differently than when I met him, but he’s still my Damien.
The way his dark hair falls over his hypnotizing blue eyes, and how his muscles block any danger from my path still makes my heart flutter to this day.
He’s immaculate. Perfect. Even as he looks down at me with anger and disappointment, his love and devotion for me shines even brighter.
I lay my hand on his chest, needing to absorb his racing pulse beneath my palm as I speak.
“I wanted to do those things. This protectiveness, this intense need to avenge the ones I love, has always lived inside me. I’m just safe enough with you to finally be that person again—to be free.
You have never forced anything upon me, Damien.
You have made sure, at every turn, that every choice was mine.
I chose to be with you. I chose to love you.
I chose to marry you and have babies with you.
” I poke his chest with every sentence, hoping to drill my point into his heart.
“I. Chose. You. And I would over and over again for as long as time exists.”
When his face softens, I move again, taking his hands and squeezing them while I stare up at him like I’m begging God to let me in. I’d sink to my knees if it meant he’d welcome me into his kingdom.
“Your crazy matches mine, remember? We don’t work because you forced it.
We work because we’re supposed to. We were made for each other, and if that means you sink into insanity?
Then I’m diving right in after you, baby.
It will always be us.” He finally steps in a little closer, allowing me the privilege of inhaling his hearty scent.
I suck in, desperate to have it fill my lungs.
“So maybe I am a monster, but I’ve always been that way.
” A small grin creeps into the corner of his lips, and the burst of excitement that fills my chest is indescribable. “Will you still love me anyway?”
He drops my hands to cup my face, spreading his large hands enough to also grip the sides of my jaw and throat.
“You’re out of your fucking mind if you think I’d ever stop loving you,” he declares.
Before I can even blink, he bends down and crashes his lips to mine, sealing our fate once again.
His kiss is hot and heavy, like he was just waiting for me to shut up so he could do it.
I gasp as he pulls away, taking my breath with him.
His eyes are stern again, staring at me with that hardness that sends a thrill through my spine.
“Don’t you ever leave without telling me where you’re going again. ”
“I won’t if you stop doubting yourself… Doubting us,” I wager, knowing that I’m on thin ice. The hardness in his face vanishes, and my heart twists.
“I don’t doubt us.”
“Good, then don’t doubt yourself, either,” I snap back, and it’s like it finally clicks for him.
By thinking less of himself, he believes less in us.
When he belittles himself, he degrades the one thing he puts before anything else—my heart.
His eyes look clear, full of realization, and after he searches my own, he nods only once.
“I won’t.”
I reach up and kiss him again, unable to stop myself.
Damien leans into me, stepping between my legs and pressing me into the car.
His confidence is slowly returning. I don’t expect it to come back overnight, but I’m hoping that when it does, it’s solid and unwavering.
I want him to see himself in the same light as others do—the same heavenly glow that I do.
When he pulls away again, he places a gentle kiss on my nose, then pulls me to stand straight before leading me to the passenger side door. Before I know it, I’m in the seat, buckled in, and he’s climbing into the driver’s side with a new energy—one that’s determined and sure.
“What are we doing?” I ask as he turns the engine over and immediately puts the car in reverse.
“We’re going back to the Attic.”
A proud grin sprouts on my face, and I entangle my fingers with his free hand as I relax against the seat once again.