Trace
I tossed my lollipop stick in the trash can outside the mall entrance and smiled as we walked through the automatic doors. My reflection in the glass of a store we passed was like a mirror, so I stuck my tongue out at myself on impulse.
It was blue. Completely blue from tip to root. How did Everett even know that blue was my favorite flavor?
A low giggle came out of me as I considered the crazy trajectory of my day.
At least it was ending on a high note with a blue tongue.
It could have been much worse. Like, if he’d called for an ambulance and I was already in the back of it when I woke up.
Trying to convince medical personnel that I was fine when there was no reason for them to believe I was fine was exhausting.
I caught Everett's reflection next to mine, and he was watching me like he was enjoying the view. That was interesting. He wasn’t annoyed or weirded out by a grown man giggling over a blue tongue.
If anything, he seemed to find me amusing.
I could live with amusing. In fact, I’d take amusing over pitiful every day of the week.
Just knowing he wasn’t mad at having his evening hijacked made my shoulders drop a little. I hadn't realized how tense I'd been holding them.
He paused in front of the mall directory. “So, where are we heading?”
I did a quick scan for the store and then pointed to it on the map. "Squishmallows are in the toy store on the second floor. By the food court."
Everett held an arm out and stepped back. "Lead the way."
The store was amazing. If I had more time and energy, I could spend hours walking up and down each aisle to see what they had.
But today wasn’t that kind of day. Connor and I could come back sometime to check it out, but for now, I went straight for the counter without slowing down.
"Hi, I'm picking up a hold for Trace Morton. "
“Okay, let me go check on that.” The girl behind the register disappeared into the back and came out a minute later holding the Connor Cow in red plaid pajamas.
The same one I'd been waiting months to have in my grubby little paws because they matched the red PJs Connor and I wore during our Little Christmas. “Is this it?”
I actually gasped out loud when she held it up. "Oh my god." I took it from her with both hands, like Connor the Cow was a real live baby. "He's perfect." Connor the human was gonna lose his whole mind.
I turned it over in my hands, checking every angle. “Was this the last one?”
She glanced behind me and shook her head. “No, looks like we’ve got a few left, but they go fast, so it was smart to put one on hold.”
There were more. "Wait, can I get one more?"
“Sure.” The girl grabbed a second one and rang them up.
"We can have twins!" I was speaking quietly, mostly to myself. I wasn’t worried about what the lady working at the store thought of me, but in the back of my mind, I did wonder what was going through Everett’s mind. Maybe he was gearing up to leave. Maybe he was disgusted.
Either way, his company was kinda nice while it lasted.
I paid and grabbed my bag. Without looking at Everett, I backed away. “I’m gonna take a quick look around. You can head out if you need to. I’m feeling better now.”
The aisle with the video game merch looked interesting, so I wandered to it, not expecting Everett to stay.
There were keychains shaped like controllers and plushie versions of pixelated mushrooms, but what really got my attention was a whole shelf of erasers shaped like tiny consoles and joysticks.
I picked up a pack without even questioning the $13.
99 price tag. They were perfect for my collection. Well, one of my many collections.
“Those are cute.”
I startled when I heard Everett’s voice behind me. “Aren’t they?” I’d been bouncing on my toes, narrating the inventory without realizing it, and he was there the whole time.
But it wasn’t my fault. Being in a store full of toys did something to me. All my walls seemed to lower automatically whether I wanted them to or not.
Everett kept his hands in his pockets, watching with that same easy smile as he followed me down the aisle.
Then I remembered that I wanted to come back with Connor, so I turned around on my heels. “I’m ready to go now.”
He just nodded. “Okay.”
I went back to the register with my erasers, feeling happy and relaxed. Two feelings I never felt when I was in public alone. Then again, I wasn’t alone.
As soon as we exited the store, Everett turned to me. "You hungry?"
It was dinner time, and between the seizure and the walking, I definitely was. "Starving, actually."
"Me too. Let’s hit the food court." He nodded toward the escalator. "It’s my treat, so you can get whatever you want."
I don't know exactly what made me do it. Maybe it was the excitement of my purchases or just the butterflies of having an attractive man wanting to take care of me, but I felt it happening and didn’t do a thing to stop it.
Either way, by the time we got up to the food court, I went straight to McDonald’s.
"I want nuggies and fries." My voice was higher pitched than usual and a bit…
Little. Similar to how I was when I let myself regress with Connor. And only with Connor.
Everett's eyes narrowed on me for a second, and then something in them changed. His pupils widened, and he seemed to come to an understanding about what he’d just witnessed.
At first, I couldn't tell if that was a good sign or a very bad one. Then his hand landed on my lower back, and he walked me toward the counter. "A kids meal with nuggets and fries, please.” He turned to me, and his voice was softer than he’d spoken to me all day. "Would you like juice or milk?"
My head tilted to the side, surprised he didn’t offer me soda as an option. It genuinely hadn't occurred to him that a grown man ordering off a kids menu might still want an adult’s soft drink. Lucky for him, he was right. "Apple juice, please."
He nodded and then ordered a chicken strips value meal with Sprite for himself.
We ate at a little table near the window, and somewhere between the first nugget and the last fry, I regressed farther than I thought possible in public.
It wasn’t that I couldn't function like an adult, but my Little side was front and present… and I was okay with that.
For once, I didn't have to hold everything together for a little while. If I fell apart, someone would be there to put me back together.
It was a strange feeling, but I liked it. A lot.
"Can I give you a ride home?" We were clearing off our table when Everett stopped and picked up my bags. "I just need to drop the bus off at the depot and grab my car."
The smart answer was no. That was what smart people said to strangers who offered them a ride.
Being on a public bus with a stranger driving it was one thing.
Getting into a private car with a man I met a few hours ago in a park was an entirely different level of stranger danger.
And it was the exact kind of thing my group chat would collectively lose their shit over if they found out.
On the other hand…it was getting dark outside, and Everett was gorgeous.
Not to mention he'd just bought me nuggies and juice without a second thought. I had to admit that a big part of me really didn’t want this day to end yet.
"Um." I chewed the inside of my cheek and considered it.
"Are you even allowed to take passengers home? Like, isn’t there a bus driver rule against that? "
"Yeah, there absolutely is." He didn't look the least bit concerned about admitting that.
"But you're not a passenger right now. You're a guy I met in the park and had dinner with.
And if you're not comfortable with a ride, I'm happy to call you an Uber instead.
I just don't like the idea of you on a bus alone at night. The crowd changes after it gets dark."
I hadn't thought about that. Having a seizure on a bus full of late-night strangers might go very differently than having one in a park in the daylight. "I guess that would be okay," I said slowly. "But I should probably tell my friends I'm going a different way home."
"Smart." That didn’t bother him at all, which actually made me trust him even more.
He reached for the badge clipped to his belt and held it up next to his face, ID photo and all.
"Send them a picture of this. That way, if you don't check in with them in an hour, they've got my badge number to report me with. "
It was kind of a ridiculous offer but also very thoughtful. "That's smart…and kinda disturbing."
"I contain multitudes." He waggled his eyebrows and flashed a cheesy grin. “Whatd’ya say?”
“Yeah, okay.” I took the picture and stared at it for a second before sliding my phone back into my pocket without sending it to anyone. “Let’s go.”
I'd tell Priya and Connor about my whole adventure tomorrow. Tonight, I wanted to keep whatever it was to myself for a little while longer.