Layla – Present
The steady beat of Jacob’s heart thrums in my ear, one of my legs resting between his, the thin bed sheet draped over us.
Jacob’s shirt lies scrunched on the floor next to my dress.
I reach over him to the bedside table and check the time on my phone.
We’ve got another half hour before the hotel breakfast ends, and if I wasn’t absolutely starving, I’d stay right here beside him until checkout.
I rest my hand back on his chest, and his arm circles around my waist, pinning me in place.
“Jacob.” I whisper.
His hand flexes, eyes still closed. I should probably let him sleep.
I go to move off the bed, but he pulls me back.
“Not yet, Layla,” his sleep drenched voice protests behind me. He lowers his head to the crook of my neck. “It’s too early.”
“It’s quarter past nine,” I laugh. “Breakfast ends at ten.”
“Just order room service.”
“But I don’t know what I want.” I lace my fingers with his, then kiss the back of his hand. “You can stay here. I’ll be back soon.”
I slip out of bed and head for my suitcase. I rush to throw on a crochet yellow sundress and a pair of sandals, brush my teeth, and fix my hair.
When I open the door, Jacob is standing in the doorway, shirtless, hair messy, holding a change of clothes in his hands. He looks me up and down, a slow sleep filled smile spreading across his face.
“You look beautiful.”
He brushes by me, placing a quick kiss on my cheek.
I wait by the door, checking the time on my phone every couple of minutes.
If there’s one thing I’ve always loved about staying in a hotel, it’s the breakfast. And since we leave this afternoon, this is my one and only chance to enjoy it.
I should have set an alarm last night, but that was the last thing on my mind.
I glance around the room. The bed sheet is a crumpled mess, pushed down to the foot of the bed.
In a lot of ways, last night was more intimate than sleeping together would have been.
I thought I was ready for that step with Jacob, but grief is a complicated thing.
It’s been so long since I’ve lifted my head up from the water to breathe, I think I’ve forgotten how to do it.
Jacob grins at me as he steps out of the bathroom. He leans his head down, about to kiss me, but I push him back.
“There’s time for that later. We’re going to be late!” I grab his hand, lift the key card out of the holder, and let the door slam behind us.
The buffet hall is packed with people, apparently we aren’t the only ones who overslept this morning. I wave at Amie and Parker sitting at their table. Amie points to two empty seats beside her, and we make our way over.
“I thought you would’ve been down here already,” Amie says, dragging out the seat next to her.
I set the key card down on the table. “We overslept.”
Amie purses her lips together.
“What ferry are you both getting home?” Parker asks, bringing a coffee mug to his lips.
“Probably the 3pm one.” I look to Jacob, and he nods.
I’m ever so slightly jealous Amie and Parker get to stay here for another week.
“Have you got any plans for the day?”
Amie shakes her head. “We’re just going to lie low on the beach. Probably come back here for dinner.” She smiles at Parker. “Did you see my aunt last night?” She plucks a grape from the vine. “Absolute train wreck.”
“Did she leave after? I never saw her again.”
Amie nods. “She went to her room, I think. Then my dad made sure she got the first ferry home this morning.”
“You speak to Nicole?” Parker turns in his chair, looking at Jacob.
Amie rolls her eyes. “Of course he didn’t speak to her, he was with Layla all night.” She taps his arm.
“I wasn’t asking you, babe.”
“Just on the ferry,” Jacob answers.
“She’s not bad on the eyes. Sure she’s not?”
“Parker!”
“What? He’s single, she’s single, what’s the problem?”
“You’re not.” Amie wiggles her finger at him. “Though you will be if you keep talking about how hot Nicole is.”
I lose interest in the conversation when I see the staff start to take things away. I grab a plate.
“I’ll be back in a minute,” I announce.
I head for the little chocolate muffins Amie had in her room yesterday. By the time I’m back at the table, Jacob and Parker are talking about work.
Amie puts her chin in her hand on the table. “Are you going to tell me how it went last night, or am I going to have to take that plate off you until you do?” she says, keeping her voice low.
“I love you, Amie, but if you take this plate off me, I think it might be the end of our friendship.”
She laughs. “Oh really?” She grabs one of the mini muffins and pops it in her mouth.
“Amie!”
“Now, don’t leave me hanging. And before you think about lying, know that I saw you two out on the balcony. You gave my whole wedding party a show, I didn’t need the fireworks.”
I bite down on an apple. “You’re welcome.” I wink at her.
“So…” She leans closer. “How was… you know?”
“We didn’t.”
She gives a loud, exaggerated sigh that draws attention from Jacob and Parker before they go back to their conversation. “Layla,” she huffs, “you’re killing me with this.”
I laugh. “I’m very sorry.”
Jacob leaves the table to go to the buffet, and I lean back in my chair, peeling off a muffin case.
“You’ve wanted to sleep with him since we were teenagers, Layla. What’s holding you back? Look at him, if that doesn’t look like a man who knows how to give you the best time of your life, then I don’t know what is.”
Parker chokes.
I press my lips together. “He’s not the problem.” I look down at the wedding ring I’m still wearing. “It’s complicated, Amie. I want to, but I’m just not there yet.”
She reaches out and squeezes my hand.
“I’ll get there,” I say, and she nods.
“I’ll let it be. I’m sorry,” she admits. “I forget sometimes, it’s not as straightforward as when we were younger.”
“You and Jacob should have lunch in Remi’s down by the water before you leave.” Parker changes the subject, I’m not sure if it’s more for my sake or his, but I’m grateful either way.
“Oh yeah? Is it good?”
“Not so much the food as the view. It’s nice and quiet, too, and the music isn’t loud.” He shakes his head. “Man, I sound old.”
I laugh. “You’re not old, at least I hope you’re not, because if you are then I am too.”
He pats me on the shoulder. “We’re still young.”
“Yeah,” I say in agreement, “not even half way to thirty yet!”
“Exactly.” He grins at me.
Jacob sits down beside me, placing another muffin on to my empty plate.
I smile at him.
I’ll get there.
***
Sun loungers are laid out along the sand in twos, with stripped blue and white sun umbrellas placed between each pair.
Jacob is lying on the one we secured with our beach towels earlier after breakfast, his cap pulled down over his eyes.
I sit back down on my sun lounger next to his and dig my toes into the warm sand.
Jacob pushes his cap back onto his head and swings his legs round to face me.
He slides one of his feet between mine, the other resting at the side of my foot.
“What’s on your mind?” He puts his hand on my thigh.
“I don’t want to leave.” I like the warm little bubble the Bahamas has created. I feel like I’m blocked off from the rest of the world out here.
“We can always come back again?”
I smile at him. God, he’s perfect. I knew it when we were teenagers, and I know it even more now.
“Can I ask you something?”
“You can ask me anything, Layla.”
“If you had read my letters, would you have written me back?”
“Yes.” He doesn’t hesitate once with his answer, and there’s a brief glint of something I can’t quite place in his eyes. “Keith had no right to keep them from me. That wasn’t his choice to make.”
I touch his cheek. “You must have thought I was horrible.”
He brings his hand up and strokes the back of mine.
“I wasn’t in a very good place after that night.
I wouldn’t have wanted you to see me like that.
I think Keith thought it’d be easier if I believed you left town and me behind, that you didn’t love me like you said you did.
” His jaw clenches. “I’d have written you back every damn day, Layla. ”
I drop my hand. I understand why Keith did it, but it doesn’t make it right. Like Jacob said, it wasn’t Keith’s choice to make.
“I was mad that day in Heather’s shop last year when I saw you again.
It seemed like it must have been so easy for you to move on.
” He frowns, looking down at our feet. “I didn’t want to believe you left me.
I spent six months in juvie convincing myself you would come back.
When you didn’t, and when I spoke to Amie, I figured Keith was telling the truth.
So, I kept moving forward. I threw myself into work, I kept my head down, and I blocked everything else out.
I owed it to Keith and his wife, Irena, for everything they had done for me.
It took a lot for Keith’s lawyers to convince them not to try me in an adult court.
It took even more for them not to give me a longer sentence in juvie.
” He meets my eyes. “I don’t know where I’d be without him and Irena.
” He takes my hand in his. “I’m angry at him for keeping that secret, but I can’t ignore everything good he’s done for me. ”
“I’m glad Keith was there for you.” I wish I had had the choice to have been as well. I would have held up every promise I ever made to him. “I wish I could go back an—”
“You can’t change the past, Layla.” He rubs his thumb over my palm. “And it’s okay. It was a long time ago.” His green eyes hold mine. “I’m glad you invited me here.”
“I’m glad you came.”
He leans in and touches his lips to mine.
I curl my toes into the sand.
I could stay here forever with him.