47. Chapter Forty-seven
Chapter Forty-seven
Deacon
It was impossible to stop myself from thinking about my brother’s final act of bravery.
Maybe the only act of bravery he’d committed in his entire wasted life.
I’d needed him to step up more times than I could count. He never had for me, but I’d never stop being grateful for the one time he did when it was to save Phoebe.
Two weeks of tangled anger, grief, confusion, and more anger had wrung me out. But I’d been dealing as best I could.
That I wouldn’t ever know why Richie had put himself in front of Phoebe burned me up. I’d never get to ask him how he thought it would play out when I hadn’t even had access to the product he’d wanted me to mule. I’d never know if taking Phoebe and Hailey had been a desperate act with no real plan or if he’d meant to hurt them.
I could have driven myself crazy trying to figure it out. But I had to accept that some questions would never have answers. And I had to move on.
Phoebe hadn’t let me sit in my feelings alone. Neither had Hailey, Joy, or the Kellys.
They’d had every reason to shove me out for putting their daughter in danger, and Elena and Lock Kelly had pulled me firmly into their fold instead.
Even more surprising was my relationship with Caleb. We’d shared a trauma no one else would understand. The day Phoebe had gotten out of the hospital, he’d shown up at our door and invited me out to the ranch.
I was shit at riding, but he’d been patient.
Phoebe had spent time with her family while Caleb had taken me on long, quiet rides across the ranch. At first, there hadn’t been much talking, just me concentrating on not falling off my horse and him being lost in his thoughts.
Today wasn’t much different, though I’d gotten a little steadier.
We crested a hill and stopped. Below us, the river cut through the jagged landscape, stretching out for miles. Our horses grazed, tails flicking, their breath soft in the quiet.
“How do you wrap your head around this?” I asked. “Being out here, knowing all this is yours?”
“It’s not something I think about,” he replied honestly. “Just the way it is.”
I nodded, pulling my cap low over my eyes. I’d guessed as much. I’d grown up in a different world and had felt the same way about it. It was just the way it was.
He turned his head, shadows from his cowboy hat hiding his eyes. “I’ve been thinking a lot since I saw your family’s place. I’d heard about it—think everyone around here has—but I’d never had reason to go out that way.”
“It’s not pretty.”
“No, not pretty.” He returned his gaze to the river. “I need to remember I’ve been lucky all my life. I turned out all right because I have great parents and all this.” He gestured toward the endless stretch of land. “But you, Deke, you made yourself into a hell of a man out of pure grit.”
“Don’t know about that.”
“I do,” he said firmly. “You could’ve been Richie. Would’ve been easier for you. But you aren’t.” His next breath was deep and shuddering. “I’ll never forget the things you said to Phoebe when you thought she was gone. That—you’re the man she deserves.”
My chest twinged. I hadn’t expected to ever hear anything like that, but damn did it make me feel good.
“I’m going to marry her,” I said.
He turned to me again, tipping his hat. “Good. Don’t make her wait too long. We’ve got Hannah’s coming up, so my mother will already be in wedding planning mode. She’ll hit the ground running for yours.”
My hold on my reins tightened. “Gotta get her to say yes first.”
“She will. My sister’s smart, and she chose you. Phoebe’s kind to everyone, but she’s selective about who she lets into her heart. You’re in there, Deke, and I know without a doubt she’s deep in yours.”
“That she is,” I confirmed.
“So marry her. Give yourself the beautiful life you both deserve.”
I raised a brow. “That simple?”
He looked at me for so long, I wasn’t sure he’d answer. “You already did the hard part by getting out of hell. So yeah, that simple.”
Maybe it would be. We were due for some easy.
After a while, I asked, “Are you doing okay?”
He shrugged his huge shoulders. “I’m getting there. I won’t soon forget that sight. You understand.”
“I do.”
“Yeah.” He rubbed his jaw, scanning the terrain. “We’ll get there.”
Phoebe was waiting for us at the stables. Her smile stretched wide as we drew near.
“Hey, cowboy,” she called.
Caleb chuckled. “I don’t think she means me.”
I laughed, and it felt good. “Hey, sugar.”
A ranch hand approached, taking my horse from me when I dismounted. Phoebe sauntered to me, giving me a long once-over. When she was close enough, I captured her waist and brought her against my chest.
“How’d it go?” she asked.
“He stayed on,” Caleb called as he rode away.
I grinned at her. “What he said. I might be getting close to being ready to go riding with you.”
She slid her hands over my shoulders. “I don’t know why you wouldn’t let me teach you.”
“Because you’re my girl, and I want you to think I’m capable of anything. Embarrassing myself on a horse wouldn’t exactly instill confidence.”
She poked me. “Joke’s on you, bucko. I know you’re capable of anything.” Then she pressed her lips to mine in a too-brief kiss. “Next Sunday, it’s you and me. You can have your boy time with Caleb another day.”
“I’d never say no to you.” I brushed her hair aside, my fingers ghosting over the pink scar near her temple, disappearing into her hairline. “You sure you’re safe to be on horseback?”
“I’ve been riding since I could walk, Deke.” I opened my mouth to argue, but she cut me off. “I’ll wear a riding helmet, just to be safe.”
“Thanks for humoring me, angel.” I gave her waist a squeeze. “Ready to get out of here?”
“I am. Let’s go home, honey.”
Home. That was what she was. My home.
Never thought I’d have a place so sweet, but she’d given me that.
And I intended to give her everything.
With our arms wrapped around each other, we walked off, the wide-open future stretching out ahead of us.