Chapter 4
Grace
W hat had I done? What in the name of all that was holy had I done?
Not only had I carelessly let Michael see me, once he had I’d stayed right where I was, giving him plenty of opportunity to find me in the kitchen. Even after he’d left the diner, I’d still stayed put. And on top of all that, in what had to be a clear sign of temporary insanity, I was letting him pick me up and take me to my apartment.
It was as if every instinct I’d ever had for self-preservation had flown straight out the window.
The second I’d even thought that I’d seen Michael, I should have been out the back of the diner and on my way. Barring that, I should have been gone the very second after Michael had left the diner with his friends.
I knew Michael hadn’t deliberately tracked me down – his shock at seeing me told me that more clearly than anything else ever could – but if he’d come across me, someone else could, someone who was looking for me. I should have run to my apartment, thrown everything in my car like I’d done so many times before, and hit the road.
That was what I should have done, what part of me was still screaming at me to do. But the other part...
The other part of me just flatly refused to budge.
It wanted to talk to Michael, wanted to explain to him, as best I could, why I’d left Brothers Pub the way I had.
His anger hadn’t surprised me; the fact that he’d said he was happy to see me had. That was Michael, though. He’d always been kind to me; both he and Jamey had. So much so that I’d been a little suspicious of it at first.
In my experience, kindness of any kind demanded repayment. For a while, I’d wondered what form he and Jamey would expect that payment to take and when it would come due. When the weeks had gone by and nothing had happened, I’d started to settle in.
That hadn’t lasted long – nothing good in my life ever did – but it had been long enough for my misguided attraction to Michael to grow. It would hurt all over again when he disappeared out of my life after our conversation tonight, but at least I’d have the comfort of knowing that he hated me less than I’d thought, or maybe not at all.
I looked out through the pass-through to where he sat at the diner’s counter doing something on his phone. He’d arrived a few minutes before eight and I’d seen the flash of relief in his eyes when he’d spotted me back in the kitchen. I couldn’t blame him for thinking I’d be gone. I was as surprised as he was that I wasn’t.
There was no real reason for me to be back in the kitchen – we had no customers and I’d finished cleaning more than an hour before – but it was where I felt the safest, so that’s where I’d stayed.
I’d procrastinated as long as I could, though. Vanessa and I had locked away the day’s till in the office and we were ready to shut off the lights and lock up.
She stopped me with a hand on my arm just inside the kitchen door, her expression full of concern for me.
“If you don’t want to go with this guy, we can lock ourselves in the office and call the police. They’ll be here fast if we tell them we have trouble. You don’t have to go with him.”
I squeezed her hand, suddenly so grateful that I hadn’t run out and left Vanessa behind earlier. I’d never really thought until now about people worrying about me once I’d left; I’d been too focused on getting away. I knew it would have been hard on Vanessa if I’d left and I was glad now that I hadn’t.
“I’ll be fine with him, I promise. I know how he acted earlier but he won’t hurt me. And I owe this to him. Everything will be fine.”
Except for how hard it would be to let him go again, but there was no help for that part whether I talked to him or not.
“At least give me his name and phone number in case something happens, and I need information for the police.”
Knowing she’d never need it, I nonetheless gave Vanessa the information she’d asked for. Then with no more excuses to stall, I walked out to the front to meet Michael.
His eyes met mine the second I stepped through the kitchen door. He watched me intently and I wondered if he was watching to be sure I didn’t make a break for the diner’s front door. He stood as Vanessa and I walked closer.
“Ready to go?”
I nodded wordlessly, then followed Vanessa to the door with Michael following behind. Michael and I waited while Vanessa locked the door, then with a quick hug for me and a hard look at Michael, she was gone. I trailed Michael to the only other vehicle in the lot – a massive black pick-up truck – and climbed up inside as Michael held the passenger side door for me. Once he was settled behind the wheel, engine running and seatbelt fastened, he turned to look at me.
“Where to?”
I could still change my mind about taking him to my apartment. I could direct him somewhere else, or I could ask him if we could just sit here in the diner parking lot in the truck and talk.
I could do that, but I didn’t.
Instead, I pointed past him to the black and red sign for Cameo down the block.
“See that sign for Cameo? My apartment is above the bar.”
Michael put the truck in gear and less than a minute later we pulled into Cameo’s lot. As he pulled up next to the door up to my apartment, Travis stepped around the side of the building. I suppressed a groan, knowing I should have expected it. We’d been slow at the diner, I was sure the bar had to be slow, too. I should have realized that Travis would be watching for me.
Travis eyed both the truck and Michael as Michael came around to help me down. Hoping to forestall a conversation, I sent a wave and “good night” in Travis’ direction as I headed for my apartment door.
Of course, it didn’t work.
After a nod of acknowledgement for Travis, Michael had turned to follow me when Travis’ voice stopped us both.
“You Michael?”
I cringed and closed my eyes as I heard Michael turn back in Travis’ direction.
Please don’t let Travis say the word ‘boyfriend’. Please oh please oh please.
I turned to see Michael and Travis watching each other, Michael completely relaxed like he didn’t have a care in the world, and Travis as tense as a bowstring.
I had no idea what was going through either of their minds. I only hoped Travis had enough sense not to do something stupid. Michael was at least 6 inches taller and far more built than Travis; there was no possibility that any kind of physical altercation would come out in Travis’ favor.
Finally, Michael acknowledged Travis’ question. “Yeah, I’m Michael. And you are?”
Travis eyed Michael for another moment, before glancing at me, then back to Michael. Ignoring Michael’s question, he stepped back toward the front of the building.
“‘Bout damn time.”
Michael looked at me in question, but I just shook my head and led the way to the door to my apartment. As far as I was concerned, the less said about Travis, and anything I may have told him, the better.
Michael followed me through the outer door, up the stairs, and through the second door into my apartment. It didn’t feel anywhere close to spacious on a good day, but with Michael taking up so much of the space, it felt downright tiny. I’d chosen it for its location, affordable price, and the fact that it came furnished. It was far from the Taj Mahal, but it was everything I needed. I’d also always felt safe there, which was worth more to me than almost anything else.
I waved Michael toward the two wingback chairs that made up my entire living room and crossed over to my fridge.
“Do you want something to drink? I have tea or water.”
Michael settled his large frame in a chair and leaned forward, resting his forearms on his thighs. “Water would be great, thanks.”
I poured each of us a glass from the pitcher I kept in the fridge, then crossed to give it to him, careful to avoid our hands accidentally touching as I did so.
Then I sat down in the other chair and waited.
I didn’t have to wait long.
“How did you end up here, Grace? Why did you leave without saying anything?”
I looked down at the glass of water I held and sighed. Where did I even start?
“It’s not a short story, Michael. I’m sorry for what I did, but I don’t know that you really want to know the why. It had nothing to do with you, or Jamey, or anybody at the pub.”
Michael looked at me intently as he shook his head at my words. “You’re wrong, Grace. I do want to know. I’ve run it over and over in my head. I need to understand.”
I’d told myself earlier that I owed it to him to explain, but I hated the thought of him knowing the truth. I didn’t want him to see my life for the messed-up chaos that it was, but did it really matter? It wasn’t like he’d be sticking around anyway after tonight. Knowing the truth would give him just one more reason to go.
Tell him , I thought to myself. Tell him, let him run in the opposite direction, and get it over with. Why drag it out?
I took a sip of water, then set it aside and started talking.