Chapter 29
CHAPTER
TWENTY-NINE
Elliott
On Friday night, I ask Ansel to watch Baylor after she goes down for the night so that I can take Emelia to the Whispering Pines Pub to have dinner on the patio overlooking the water. There are heaters out there, so it extends patio season for them.
As soon as Ansel heard why I wanted him to come over and hang out at my place, he was all for it. I just had to endure a good ribbing.
“Wow. You surprised me. Didn’t think you’d take the bait that Hollis and I laid.”
“Fuck off. Can you come over or not?”
“Absolutely. Anything to help my big brother get laid.”
I hung up on him while he was still laughing. Not that I’d ever kiss and tell, but I was tempted.
“Have you been here yet?” I ask Emelia as I park my truck near the end of Main Street by the marina. There’s a road that runs parallel to the shore that we’ll have to walk down for a couple of minutes to reach the pub.
“I haven’t eaten here yet, but I popped in one day and spoke to the owner…Fowler, I believe. Wanted to get his take on the development.”
The development isn’t something we’ve talked much about since the nature of our relationship has changed. I’m not sure if she’s avoiding it or if I am. Maybe we both are, in an effort to stay away from the one thing that has the potential to pit us against each other.
I trust Emelia, but if it were up to me, the council would vote no on the development.
So instead of commenting on anything to do with the development, I take a different track. “Fowler is Ansel’s best friend.”
She shifts in the passenger seat to face me. “No way. Well, I know how small small towns can be, so I guess that makes sense.”
I chuckle and turn off the truck. We both get out, and when I meet her on the sidewalk, I take her hand.
Emelia looks down at our joined hands, seeming unsure. “Is this okay? I know we’re obviously keeping the two of us a secret from Baylor, but are you okay if the people in town know?”
I laugh. “Em, they’re going to know as soon as I take you into the pub. It’s not like I’m regularly sharing dinners with women around town. And besides, I’m not going to treat this like a secret. The only reason Baylor doesn’t know is because she’s too young to manage her expectations.”
“Okay, just checking.”
I squeeze her hand and lead her around the corner toward the pub.
As we reach the walkway up to the pub, Collins comes out the door with a paper bag in hand.
“Oh, hey, Elliott.” She glances at our joined hands, then back at me, smiling.
“Hey, Collins. This is Emelia, or maybe you’ve met already?” I look between the two of them.
“Haven’t had the pleasure.” Collins shifts her takeout bag to her other hand and outstretches her free one.
Emelia drops my hand and takes hers. “Same.”
“You guys here for dinner or drinks?”
“Bit of both, I imagine. Is it busy in there?” I ask.
She shakes her head. “Not too bad. Well, I better get home so that I can eat this while it’s still warm.”
“All right. You take care.”
“Nice to meet you,” Emelia says as she walks away. Then she whispers, “Wow, she’s beautiful. Did you guys ever…”
I draw her into my arms. “There’s only one beautiful woman that I see.”
She playfully rolls her eyes.
“And no, we didn’t. She was married to Ansel’s other best friend.” The weight of Collins’s reality presses down on me. “He was a firefighter with Ansel…killed on duty about eighteen months ago.”
“That’s terrible.”
“Yeah, it’s been rough. Ansel took it really hard, but as horrible as it is, I want us to enjoy our evening.” I walk ahead and open the door, motioning for her to enter first.
I walk in behind her, and it’s hard not to notice the way every head pivots in our direction.
We’re in the gossip mill of Echo Lake now, if we weren’t already.
I knew that tongues would be wagging when I decided to take Emelia here and figured that I don’t care.
With the way news travels around here, there’s a good chance that even if we didn’t go out in public, word would still travel, so we might as well enjoy going places with each other.
Besides, it’s not as if any of the adults in town are going to snitch to my daughter.
Taking Emelia’s hand, I thread our fingers together and walk over to the bar where Fowler is pouring a beer.
He gives me a chin lift as we approach, looking between the two of us. “Hey, guys.”
I raise my free hand. “Hey, I think you’ve already met Emelia.”
He gives her a smile. “Good to see you again.”
“Same.” Emelia returns his smile.
“Any space out on the patio?” I nod toward the door that leads out there.
“Yeah, head on out and grab whatever table you want. I’ll send someone out to take your order.”
“Thanks, man.”
The two of us make our way onto the patio that overlooks the lake. There are only about three tables open, and I lead us to the patio’s edge, closest to the water and one of the heaters.
String lights hang from one side of the patio to the other, and music drifts from some unseen speakers. The moon reflects on the still water, and across the lake, we can see a few lights, either on the ends of various docks or from the houses themselves.
We take a seat, and I immediately feel the warmth of the heaters radiating over us.
Emelia looks at them. “You should get one of these for your dock, then you could sit out there even when it’s this chilly.”
“Not a bad idea.” And it’s not. I enjoy the peacefulness of sitting near the water, but around this time of year, it becomes too cold at night to do so without bundling up.
A couple of minutes later, Tammy comes over and takes our order. She returns in record time with a beer for me and a seltzer for Emelia, takes our food order, then disappears again.
It’s been a long time since I’ve taken a woman on a date, and before tonight, the idea of doing so might have made me anxious. But being here with Emelia feels natural.
“Did you see how everyone turned and looked at us when we came through the door?” Emelia asks.
I chuckle. “We’ll be the main topic of conversation for the Thermos Crew tomorrow, I’m sure. Does that bother you?”
She shrugs. “Not really. I’m from a small town too, so I know how it is. My aunt had a radio show where she spread the town gossip for years and years, so it’s nothing new to me.”
“Seriously? She’d just get on the radio and talk about everyone’s business?”
“Pretty much.” Emelia goes on to tell me more about the radio show her aunt used to do, and some anonymous app that another town near hers uses to spread the word.
“That’s wild. And I thought the Thermos Crew was bad.”
We both laugh.
“In all fairness, it’s been a long damn time since I was seen out with a woman. I’m surprised some of the gawkers didn’t keel over in shock.” I take a pull from my beer.
“You didn’t go try to date anyone after Kate?” She arches an eyebrow, disbelieving.
“I took one or two women out. No one from Echo Lake and not around here. I wasn’t interested in starting up the rumor mill about my love life. And they were one-date wonders. Never went anywhere. My priority was Baylor.”
She smiles. “That’s because you’re a great father.”
“Maybe.”
I think back to how upset Baylor was about not having a mother, and wonder if maybe I should have made finding someone special a part of my life.
If I had, maybe I’d be in a serious relationship—or who the hell knows, married by now—and Baylor would have a mother figure, and what happened this week wouldn’t have happened.
I set my beer on the table. “Sometimes I look back and wonder how I got here. At first, I had no choice but to be there night and day for Baylor—she was an infant. Now, I can see that if I’d wanted to, I could have done things a little differently, but I was too set in my ways, I suppose.
That, or maybe I just let fear run my life because I was too afraid of being hurt again. ” Of having someone leave me again.
Saying the words feels cathartic somehow. Or maybe it’s just saying them to Emelia, because I sure as hell can’t picture myself saying them to anyone else.
“I think sometimes we tell ourselves a story about how we are, who we are, and then after a while, we believe it. We don’t even question it anymore.
It just becomes the lens through which we see ourselves.
I know that for a long time, I told myself I was okay with knowing nothing about my birth mother, and whenever the feeling that wasn’t quite true rose up, I just shoved it down.
If I felt like I didn’t quite fit somewhere, I’d leave—my hometown, my job, the state I was living in.
I can see now that I bounced around a lot in an effort to avoid that feeling, but that’s the thing about feelings…
they just follow you until you deal with them. ”
I want so badly to ask her if she feels like she fits here, but I don’t. We decided to keep this casual.
The only way I’m going to come out of this in one piece is if I continue to hold back. She’s leaving in less than two months, and nothing is going to change that. I just need to enjoy our time together while we have it, then move on.
“Are you nervous about talking to your cousin tomorrow?”
After Emelia texted Liz back, they had a brief text exchange but decided it would be better to have a Zoom call.
She bites her bottom lip. “It feels weird to even think of her that way. I know technically she’s my cousin, but…”
“Of course it feels weird. You have no relationship with her. Are you hoping to establish one with her, or are you just looking to collect information?”
Leaning forward, she rests her chin on her fist. “Honestly, I don’t know. I think I’m just going to see what happens. Maybe she won’t even be the kind of person I’d want to talk to again. I have no idea what to expect.”
“That’s probably a good attitude to have.” I bring my beer to my lips.
“Maybe. We’ll see. My mom texted me earlier to wish me luck tomorrow. I’ve been keeping them in the loop on what’s going on.”
“That had to feel good.”
She leans back in her chair and nods. “Yeah, it’s still a little weird, but it’s way less stressful, not feeling like I’m hiding something from them.”
I nod. “I know how much that was stressing you out.”
Emelia takes my hand. “Thank you for picking me up when I was falling apart over it and for encouraging me to talk to my parents.”
I give her hand a gentle squeeze. “Of course.”
We hold each other’s gaze until Tammy arrives with our food.
The rest of dinner is spent with Emelia laughing as I tell her stories from my youth and life with my three siblings. By the end of our meal, I realize how much I missed this—having someone to share things with, adult conversation, time away from parenting to recharge.
And if it weren’t for Emelia coming into my life, I might never have known it.