Chapter Thirty
Toby’s song stuck with me for the rest of Tuesday. Toby didn’t help, becoming shy after he performed and saying very little to me, but sending me constant glances.
I felt shy with him too. What he did on that stage was probably deeper than anything else that had happened at the show. And then the concert ended and he ran off before I could say anything.
“Just give him time,” Bryan had said before chasing after his friend.
The whole thing would have consumed my mind if Dad hadn’t showed up at my house on Wednesday.
“Dad?” I frowned in confusion and then noticed all the bags at his feet. “What’s going on?”
“I wasn’t sure if you were home, but would you like to bake pies with me? I’m not sure what to bring to the Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow, and settled on some pies. Can’t go wrong with pie.”
“You want to cook with me?” I asked, feeling a bit dumb. Did I even know how to turn on my oven?
“Only if you want to. If not, I can go. I thought we could spend the day together, but I don’t want to be a bother. What do you think?”
Again I looked at all the bags by his feet. At least he knew enough to bring anything he thought we’d need. Baking with my dad? When was the last time I did that? Maybe when I was like five or something.
He was the one to always do the baking in our family, and it was not something I ever inherited from him.
Dad shifted uncomfortably, making me realize how awkward he must have been feeling the longer I remained silent.
“Okay.” I opened the door wider and bent down, grabbing two of the full reusable bags. Glass clinked together as I turned and headed into the kitchen.
Once I carefully put them on the counter, I began pulling the ingredients out. Dad joined, helping me organize everything. Neither of us talked for a long time.
Dad had bought everything under the sun that should have been found in my pantry but wasn’t. Flour, sugar, brown sugar, seasonings, baking soda and baking powder. There was yeast. What were we going to use yeast for?
Milk, eggs, butter.
He even had the tools—rolling pins, measuring cups, cutting boards and knives. Pots, pans, baking sheets, and lastly the pie plates.
He really knew that I had nothing in my kitchen.
“You could have told me,” I said. “I think there’s a box somewhere with my kitchen stuff.”
Dad shrugged. “I wanted to make sure you had everything.”
“Okay.” I poked at the box of silverware. I at least had some of those, so that was definitely a waste to buy. “What are we making?”
“Well, I thought we’d just keep it traditional. Apple pie, pumpkin pie. A cherry pie should be good. Oh, and a coconut cream pie. If I remember correctly, you liked my coconut cream pie.”
Unable to help it, I smiled. “I haven’t eaten that in a while. Let me send a text to Micah to let him know not to have his mom cook the pies.”
“That’s a good call.”
“Yeah.” I grabbed my phone and sent a quick text.
Me: My dad showed up. We’re making the pies. Stop your mom.
Micah: Oh shit. Let me call her. I think she was about to start baking.
I put my phone in my pocket and looked at everything covering the counter.
“So where am I starting?” I asked.
“How about the apples? I need them peeled and sliced. You can put them in this bowl.”
“Roger that.”
While Dad gathered all the tools I’d need, I set my phone up to play music through the speakers set up in the kitchen. I lowered the music, wanting it to fill the quiet, but not make it hard for Dad and me to have a conversation, not that either of us were jumping to talk at the moment.
I must have been halfway through the apples when Dad finally spoke, mixing something on the stove.
“So you’re dating Toby?”
“You remember his name?” I asked, a little surprised.
“It has to do with you, so I made sure to remember. I memorized all their names. Toby is your boyfriend. Seth is the guy who lives across from you. Bryan and Justin are your other friends. And Paxon. How did I do?”
I swallowed, suddenly feeling nervous. “You got it. There’s also Micah obviously. And I recently became really good friends with Lillian and Hazel. They’re twins. During the concert, they sat at the end, next to Micah.”
“Identical?”
“No, but they almost look like it.”
Dad asked me some more questions and it was weird to talk so in depth about my life. All our conversations up to this point had been more like fights or the two of us trying to not disappoint the other. It was nice to talk and not think about stepping on any emotional mines.
Dad chuckled as I wrapped up talking about how Toby tried to swap Bryan’s science books out with his own in hopes that Bryan would do his physics homework.
“They sound like good guys,” Dad said as I pushed the bowl of peeled and cut apples his way. He briefly inspected them before nodding in approval, and then he handed me a written recipe to make pie crust.
I swallowed hard as I looked over the steps and then got to work. It was nice having something to do with my hands while I talked with Dad.
“What’s Justin’s story?” Dad asked.
“What do you mean?”
Dad didn’t respond right away. He cleared his throat and I looked up from measuring flour.
“What?” I asked.
“Well, I just noticed how he held your hand yesterday during the concert. And he was with you when we met at the cafe. Aren’t you dating Toby?”
“I am.”
“So why?”
I felt all my blood rush from my face. Sure, I talked with the others about dating and we were, except with Bryan, though I planned to talk with him tomorrow during Thanksgiving. But I hadn’t talked to anyone about how to deal with others like our friends and family.
Stupid. It was such a stupid oversight.
And I wasn’t sure how to tell my dad that I had multiple boyfriends. How did someone break that news to their family?
How was he going to respond?
I liked what we had going on at the moment. It was simple. I wasn’t ready to open that kind of conversation with my dad.
Hey, Dad. I have more than one boyfriend. We all began dating recently. Surprise.
My stomach twisted just thinking about it, so I did what I did best and gave him something else instead. “Justin’s dad is in a coma in the hospital. He’s really sick and the doctors don’t think he’ll last much longer.”
Dad’s eyes grew big. “I’m so sorry.”
I shrugged. “It’s complicated. Really complicated. So I like to make sure Justin knows that he isn’t alone.”
Dad’s expression softened. “You truly are a remarkable young woman, Cadence.”
That was the last thing I expected to hear from him.
My throat tightened and I had to work to keep my emotions from bubbling over. “Thank you.”
He responded with a warm smile and we went back to baking. Dad told me a bit more about his life in Vegas. About his gallery. The adventures he’d gone on. The people he’d met. He quietly mentioned a couple relationships, but nothing had stuck for him.
That had taken me a moment to process.
Lindie dated around. Of course he would have too. It was still a little hard to swallow. Lindie’s relationships never lasted long, a couple months at most. I still remembered the first time she mentioned dating someone. I was twelve and it felt like a gut punch at the time. Like everyone around me was moving on but me.
Turned out it really was true.
“So no one currently?” I asked.
“No. No one.” Dad sounded a bit sad when he said that.
I poked at the crust I had created. “Do you miss her?”
“Miss who?”
I grimaced. He really was going to make me spell it out. “Lindie. Did you ever miss her after leaving?”
Through the long silence, I practically held my breath, having no idea how he was going to respond.
“I did. I loved your mother with all my heart. She shattered me when I found out about the affair. For a long time after I left, I doubted every single thing about our marriage.” His gaze flickered to me briefly before going back to the pie he was currently forming.
I swallowed, understanding what he was alluding to. I was too tired of talking around certain topics, so I just came out and said what I was thinking. “You doubted me.”
“No. Never.”
Bile rose in my throat and I blinked past my blurry eyesight, trying to pay extra attention to the crust I was trying to form in the pan. My chest felt heavy, like someone was sitting on it. “You doubted that I was your child.”
“You are mine through and through.”
I gritted my teeth. “Dad.”
Dad blew out a breath and stopped what he was doing, coming over to me. He placed his floured hands on my shoulders and squeezed. “Look at me, Cadence.”
I forced myself to do it.
“You are mine. I never doubted that. Even if you aren’t my blood, you are mine.” He went to touch my face but stopped himself, probably noticing all the flour on his hands. He cleared his throat and stepped back. “My doubt was in your mother. In Lindie and who she was as a person. And coming back and realizing what she’s done to you…” He swallowed hard. “I know exactly who she is, and I’m glad she isn’t in my life. My only regret is that I didn’t take you with me. I didn’t protect you.”
Dad blinked furiously and cleared his throat, his body stiff as he went back to his spot to keep making the cherry pie.
The hard ball that had long formed in my chest the day Dad arrived at my house evaporated. It was like I could finally draw in a full breath. A real one. He had said exactly what I needed from him and it left me feeling lighter than ever, like he could finally be someone in my life.
“I’m angry about a lot of things,” I said slowly, not really sure what I wanted to say. “I was angry when you left. I was scared too. Horrified. I took on so much blame, from myself and from Lindie when you left. I hated myself. Thought anything Lindie did to me, I deserved because I broke what the two of you had. But I’ve always held onto the fact that I’m your daughter. I…” I shook my head as my voice started to crack. “I love that you’re my dad. I’m glad that you’re my dad.”
Dad gave me a wavering smile, his eyes glistening. “And I’m glad you’re my daughter.”
Warm fuzzies tickled me. I smiled and finished making the crust for the apple pie, my mind blown with how nice things were going at that moment. I wanted it to last forever, just good happy moments with my dad as we got to know each other all over again.
I was even beginning to look forward to spending Thanksgiving with Dad tomorrow.