Chapter 7
Chapter seven
Johnny
Start of the Supercross Season
It hadn’t even been a week since the big New Year’s party. That had been a lot of fun and even more fun when they’d gone back to the hotel. Gavin had fucked like a demon in bed, and Johnny had loved every minute of it. He got hard remembering how Gavin had taken him so many different ways.
He sucked on his milkshake, wishing he had Gavin there to suck on instead. He licked his lips, feasting on his memories as much as the sweet treat.
Since it was the opening race for the season, Pilot and his boys went to the races.
They would be in California until Monday.
Gavin could be there too since he had a 250 bike in the race, but Johnny didn’t know if the new guy was in the East or West division.
He didn’t keep up with that much information on motocross.
Gavin could be anywhere in the world. He’d invited Johnny to go to some races with him, but not this weekend.
That left Johnny at home, lonely and bored.
He picked up his cell and called Pilot.
“Johnny. What’s up? Everything okay?”
“I’m so bored, nothing serious. What’s going on with you?”
Pilot huffed into the phone. “I’m about to escort Rico to the track with Tyler for his first qualifying run. Can’t talk now.”
“Sure, I get it. Tell Rico good luck for me.” He hadn’t been sure if the new racer would work out on the Apex team. Johnny hadn’t exactly been following that.
“Okay. I’ll call you later. Bye, J-man.” Pilot hung up without waiting for a response, but Johnny didn’t take it personally. He shouldn’t have called. This was work for Pilot, and Johnny knew better. That didn’t mean he wasn’t hurt.
He sucked down more milkshake. He’d blended in chocolate ice cream, Oreo cookies, and hot fudge. He would have to do an extra thirty minutes on the treadmill for sure, but he didn’t care. It was too good.
He scrolled through his contacts on his phone and stared at Gavin’s number.
What would Gavin say if he called? Would he blow him off like Pilot had?
For the millionth time—where did their relationship stand? Gavin had said he wanted more than a hookup, but what did that mean? How could it possibly work out with Gavin traveling all over the world while he sat in Colorado—stuck and alone?
He had no desire to go outside at all. The snow was ridiculous. He envied Pilot and the guys. At least in California, they’d be escaping the damn cold and slush.
Johnny didn’t even want to go down to the pool area. He usually loved watching the snow mound up on the solarium windows while he sat in the hot tub, but now it only made him think about what or who he wasn’t doing.
Like Gavin.
Johnny recalled Gavin saying something about checking out the amateur racers but couldn’t remember where he said he’d be. Maybe he was sitting around somewhere, doing nothing...or maybe he was with someone else.
His curiosity got the better of him, and he tapped the screen. Putting the phone to his ear, he listened to the ring...ring...
“Johnny.” Gavin’s voice purred out, soothing that restlessness in his soul.
“Hi, uh, I was thinking about you. Is this a good time?” Johnny held his breath, waiting for Gavin to tell him not to call him. He didn’t.
“Johnny, you can call me any time you want.”
Wait. What? “Oh.”
“Oh? Don’t be surprised. You know I want to hear your voice. All the time.”
“I didn’t know. I’m surprised. Sort of.”
“Well, now, you know. What’re you doing?”
“Nothing. Thinking about you.” Was that too much to say? “What are you doing?”
Gavin chuckled in that way he had, and Johnny closed his eyes, imagining his smirk. “I’m getting ready to get on a plane. I wish you were here with me. Maybe my next trip.”
“Yeah. Sure. If you need to go—”
“I don’t. I’m not rushing you, Johnny. What’s up with you? Are you okay?”
“No. Yes.” Johnny laughed nervously. “I guess. I don’t know. I’m, uh, bored. The office is closed, and Pilot’s out, you know.” He waved his hand in the air, even though Gavin couldn’t see him gesture.
“Johnny.”
“Yeah?”
Gavin got quiet for a minute, and Johnny feared he’d hung up.
“Johnny...” Gavin sighed over the phone.
“I’m sorry I called. I, uh. Well, you said you were interested in more, but I don’t know what that means. You said, but what’s more than—” He gathered his thoughts for a moment. “Is what we have about me or about getting closer to Bryce?”
“That’s—”
“No, it’s not. It’s a reasonable question. I mean, I’m not mad. The sex has been great. Super great. That doesn’t mean you don’t have ulterior motives.”
“I do have ulterior motives—”
Johnny hung up the phone. Tears stung his eyes.
He should have known better. He only wanted to get closer to the other racers.
It’d been great, but Johnny had opened up his heart dangerously.
It wouldn’t work. Even if Gavin cared about Johnny for more than sex and connections, he lived in that whole Supercross world. Somewhere Johnny would never be.
He finished his milkshake and then brushed his teeth.
With nothing else to do, he got on the treadmill for a while until sweat dripped from his shirt.
After a hot shower, he crawled into bed.
He didn’t want to think anymore. He wanted to sleep, and when he woke up in the morning, he’d find something to do to keep his mind off Gavin and Pilot and everything else.
Maybe he’d go out. He normally didn’t go to clubs without Pilot, but he could go to Apollo alone. It was one of the classier places. He’d always enjoyed going there. He didn’t need Pilot. Didn’t need anyone.
He took off his glasses and set them in the case beside his bed. Forget Pilot. Forget Gavin. He could find another man. There had to be someone for him.
The next morning, Johnny didn’t feel like going out.
He ate a bowl of cereal and relaxed in front of the television.
He flipped through the channels, looking for something to watch.
The reality shows he was normally interested in didn’t hold his attention.
He flipped ahead and timed the race. It didn’t start until late, being out in California.
He could maybe get a nap so he could stay up and watch it.
Why did he want to watch the race anyway? Supercross would be the death of him.
He’d thought he’d lost his best friend. He hadn’t. Things had changed between them, and not the way Johnny wanted, but he hadn’t lost Pilot. So stupid!
What about Gavin? He didn’t know where to begin with him.
Keeping busy proved challenging, but he managed. He watched the races, despite his conflicting emotions. He couldn’t not support all the guys, even if it was only by watching and cheering from his couch.
Bryce came in second in the Main Event, and Tate came in third for his race.
Both finished well. He hadn’t heard any news about BikeMax, Gavin’s team, so he guessed either their new rider was in the other division or backed out.
It didn’t seem like good news for Gavin.
Maybe he’d have more luck wherever he was.
He spent Sunday staring at his phone, expecting Gavin to call back. Maybe Pilot would call. Neither did.
Johnny went into the office, despite it being closed, to do some busywork that could have been done later, but he had nothing else to do. He stared at his computer, not doing anything. He was going through the motions, but not actually living.
He missed Pilot and his boys.
He missed Gavin.
He worked out and took a shower and put on his comfy sweats and softest hoodie then made a milkshake and crawled up on the couch to flip through channels aimlessly.
He couldn’t find anything to hold his attention.
Eventually, he cleaned his kitchen, including the floors.
He considered dusting the ceiling fan, but he’d done that a few days ago.
He needed to go to bed, but going to bed alone made him feel like shit.
He didn’t even want to jack off. He had to change something, but he had no idea what to do.
The next day, he slept late. He didn’t have to go into the office and hadn’t set the alarm. His doorbell ringing woke him, or he’d probably have slept half the day away. He had let depression settle around him, and he needed to snap the fuck out of it.
He opened his front door, and the FedEx guy made him sign for a package.
From Gavin.
Was he trying to buy Johnny like he’d tried to buy Tyler, still trying to get close to Bryce? That wouldn’t work, and hadn’t Gavin learned that lesson? He had no idea what Gavin’s intentions were, but his heart beat a little faster with his curiosity.
He took the small box into the kitchen. He shook it, but it only sounded like packaging to him. It left him clueless. He grabbed a steak knife out of the butcher block on the counter. There was only one way to find out.
Johnny dragged the knife across the tape and opened the package. He pulled the object out of the box. It was secured in a plastic zippy bag, and it looked like...Yes. It was a butt plug. Johnny’s eyes grew wider.
A butt plug?
Gavin had a kinky side, but this? Johnny shook his head.
There was a letter inside the box. It hadn’t been shipped from the store—Gavin had packed it. That made a difference for some reason. That meant a little bit more as if Gavin cared. Did he care? Johnny read the note.
Johnny!
My ulterior motives are about more with you. I want to show you. Do you trust me?
Call me when you get this.
Johnny did trust him. Maybe he’d been a little too quick to judge. He picked his phone up off the counter and carried the toy back into the living room. He barely took his eyes off the gift while scrolling down to Gavin’s number.
“Johnny.” That low rumble melted something inside him.
“I, uh, I got your package. Your gift.”
“Good. I want you to trust me. Put it in.”
“Oh, okay.”
“Put it in. It’s brand new, not used or anything. I’ll call you later.”
“Oh.”
“I’m in a meeting, Johnny. Do as I say. I’ll call you later.”