Chapter six
Nix
Getting Cole away from there was priority number one.
I could see a big meltdown coming on, and that would not go over well.
He was struggling with his reputation enough.
Part of me wanted to smash him against the wall, punch him.
He was obviously hung up on that Tyler, and I wanted him to be hung up on me. He wasn’t, so fuck him. But…
I liked him. I wanted him to succeed, and Vick was being very hard on him.
Too hard, if you asked me, but I still didn’t know enough about the sport, despite all I was learning.
Jason was helping me with that, but he was handling the scripting anyway.
All I had to do was shoot the footage. I knew enough to catch some great shots.
Finally, I pulled him out into the hall and kicked the door shut. “You’re down here. Come on.”
Cole cursed under his breath some more but followed me to the main office of the clinic. I watched as he went back to get x-rays taken.
Why did I like him so much? I didn’t know a lot about him, except he was in a bad place, and he tended to take his frustration out on others.
His crankiness was not attractive, but I could see the vulnerability underneath that hard exterior.
I could see his scars. He seemed like he’d had an easy life.
He was making a living at what he loved to do, but there was more to that story that he wasn’t telling me, and I wanted to know.
I pulled up my trusty Canon XA15. It was perfect to film around the office.
It was sturdy with a lightweight design so I could take it almost anywhere.
The young lady at the front desk smiled for me and waved.
It was very clinical but still warm. The walls were painted a soft cinnamon behind some great artwork hanging above the comfy chairs.
A few minutes later Cole came back out and sat in one of them.
I didn’t stop filming. “How’d everything go?”
“Don’t know yet. Waiting.”
“Does it hurt?”
“A little. But it always hurts a little.”
The doctor on staff came out and shook his hand, then led him off.
I wanted to follow, but this wasn’t racing, this felt more personal.
I let him have his privacy. We were invading enough as it was.
I had enough to do something with if Jason wanted to, he didn’t need Cole’s discussion with the doctor.
It was only a few minutes before Cole came back out.
“Well?” I asked him without turning the camera back on.
“It’s fine.”
It didn’t sound fine, but I didn’t pry. He’d tell me when he was ready. Hopefully.
He pushed the door open and started down the hall, so I turned the camera back on and followed, but part way down the hall, he stopped and turned back to me. “What do I do about fucking Tyler Whitmore?”
“What do you mean?”
“Turn that thing off a minute, would you?”
I turned it off and held it by my side. Hearing him out was more important than capturing a moment on film. “Okay? So what?”
“I can’t get him out of my mind. And that…” He pointed down the hall in the direction of the room where we’d left Davey and Tyler. “That…”
I let out a huge sigh. “You don’t do anything, Cole. You know they’re married. Obviously, they’re happily married.”
“Obviously, yeah. But do they have to rub it in my face?”
“I don’t think that’s what they were doing.”
He crossed his arms over his chest. “Never fucking mind.”
“Cole, come on.”
He turned and started back down the hall.
“Hey, wait. Cole, damn it, stop.” I raced after him and grabbed his shoulder. “I’m on your side. For anything and everything. Okay? But that doesn’t mean I’m not going to tell you like it is. Tell you the truth.”
Cole’s face looked like he’d lost his best friend. He was crushed.
“Sorry. It makes me crazy. I guess seeing them together. Like that. It finally drove home that Tyler chose Davey. That’s it.”
“Did you think he would choose you?”
“Uh…”
“Did he even know you’re gay?”
“I’m not gay.” I wasn’t sure how Cole said that with a straight face. Did he know what gay meant?
“Bi?” I asked.
“By who?”
“Are you serious right now, Cole? You’re completely infatuated with another guy, and now you’re telling me you’re not gay. You want to act like you don’t know what I’m asking. Do you like men? Women? Both? What?”
He stared down at the floor. For a moment, I thought he was going to cry. Then he cleared his throat. “I don’t know. I think, I mean. I think I’m just Tyler-sexual.”
“Oh.” While at least I knew where he stood, it was kind of heart breaking. He wasn’t, nor would he be interested in me. I’d have to accept being his friend. Being in his corner. Whatever corner that was. “That sucks. I’m sorry.”
He turned and kicked his toe against the baseboard. “It does. I can’t breathe. I can’t think. I’m an idiot and an asshole. I was never even nice to him.”
I didn’t know what to say, so I listened.
“I have no experience with this. I blamed him for it. I didn’t want to, you know, want him.”
“Ah, Cole.” I put my hand on his shoulder. “You can’t help who you like. And it hurts when they don’t like you back, but Tyler is not the only bike on the track.”
Cole snorted. “Nice analogy there, Nix.”
“Thanks.”
He took a long deep breath and exhaled slowly. “None of this shit even matters. The doc cleared me, so I’ve gotta get back to the track.”
“You don’t seem ready.”
“No. I’m not. It’s just that…ugh…they’re taking the fun out of racing with this bullshit. I shouldn’t be racing against anyone but myself right now. I’ve got work to do on the track before I’m going to be up for that, and Vick wants everything now. He doesn’t listen.”
“Maybe you need to get an actual trainer here. Someone that can act as a go between. Don’t you have that?”
“Yeah, he should be here, but Vick cancelled him. Said I wouldn’t need him until I’m better.”
“That seems backward.”
“Right. It’s like he wants me to fail.” Cole was in a bad situation, and Vick was feeding into Cole’s attitude with his bad decisions. This was about more than it seemed on the surface.
“Can the doc say something?”
Cole shook his head. “Not his place. I’m going to tell Vick what he said, but it won’t matter.”
I could see the heartbreak in his eyes. More than the thing with Tyler. It was as if racing was breaking his heart as well.