Chapter 25
Simon
I wake to an empty bed, smiling at the memory of Violet kissing my forehead before she left for the bakery this morning.
Groggy, I head downstairs and find Robbie sitting at the table, arms crossed, eyes barely open.
His posture screams sleep-numbed and nonfunctional.
Coffee drips and bubbles in Violet’s ancient coffee maker.
“Mornin,’” Robbie grumbles, glancing up as I walk in.
“I notice you didn’t say good,” I reply with a wry smile.
He drags his hands over his face, blinking in the low light. “Nothing’s good until coffee.”
Robbie is not a morning person. Never has been, never will be. Apparently, not even boot camp, BUDS, and life as an active-duty SEAL could drill the grumpiness out of him. They say discipline changes a man. Clearly, they’ve never met Robert Kincaid before sunrise.
I pull out a chair and sit. Robbie drops his cheek onto his fist and glares in my direction. “What’re you doing here, man?”
I recoil, hands up, head tilted. “What the hell? I came down for coffee. Kinda like you.”
“I mean, what are you doing here? In Violet’s house?
In her life?” Robbie drags a hand over his close-cropped hair.
“You didn’t see her after you broke up with her.
You didn’t see her after her parents died.
We all know how this is gonna end. And guess what…
you aren’t gonna see her then, either. You’ll be in New York.
She’ll be here. Nora will be on the phone, running daily defense on depression. ”
Well, hell.
That’s a lot to process in my first five minutes of consciousness.
I drop my head into my hands as the coffee hisses and gurgles to a stop, spitting the last bit of brew into the carafe. With a sigh, I push back from the table, chair legs scraping against tile, and cross the room to pour two mugs of coffee.
It’s a fair question. The same question that’s been driving me crazy these last few days.
What am I doing here?
I’m falling back in love with the woman I thought was my forever.
That much is clear.
I’m considering moving back home for a chance to be with her… and that much is significantly less clear.
I have no job prospects in Stillwater Bay, and a damn good life waiting for me in the city.
A prosperous life.
A successful life.
A life that looks so good on paper, people would line up for blocks to hear me speak on how I did it.
A life I don’t want to go back to.
I plonk a mug down in front of Robbie then lean against the counter. “Look, I have so much I need to talk about on that topic. I’m going crazy. I’m driving myself out of my mind because your question is valid. What am I doing here? I desperately need a friend, but your wife is Violet’s sister…”
I trail off because do I really need to finish that sentence?
“And you’re my best friend.” Robbie hefts his mug and blows at the steam. “Or you were. Before you disappeared into your New York life.”
“Ouch,” I mutter, smirking to hide how close to home that lands. Leave it to Robbie to wrap a gut punch in casual honesty.
He flares his hands. “Come on. Give it to me.”
I push off the counter and claim the chair beside him, elbows on the table, leaning close.
“Okay but, if I talk to you about this, it has to be cone-of-trust stuff. I need you to promise you won’t talk to Nora about it because you know she’ll go straight to Violet and none of this is ready for her ears. ”
Robbie glares into his coffee, blows on it, then takes a long swallow, grimacing as the heat hits his throat. “I can promise cone of trust.”
I start to thank him, but he holds up a hand.
“But I can’t promise you’ll like what I have to say.
Because, as your friend, it’s my job to look out for you.
And as Violet’s brother-in-law, it’s my job to look out for her.
So, if what you’re doing is stupid, I’m contractually obligated to point out said stupidity and tell you to cut it the hell out. ”
Robbie’s eyes hit mine and it’s possibly the first time I’ve seen him as the hardened military badass he’s become and not my goofy best friend since the first grade.
It’s impressive.
He’s impressive.
“Wow,” I mutter, dragging a hand through my hair. “Nothing says ‘I love you, man’ like the threat of a verbal smackdown.”
Robbie cocks his head. “Sometimes love means showing someone what an ass they’re being.
And it’s because I love you that I’m warning you up front.
Because something tells me there’s some stupid involved in what’s going on here and you need to be prepared for me not to like it.
Just putting a stamp of approval on awful decisions in the name of compassion?
That’s cowardice. True compassion is having the guts to say hard things. ”
I let out a rough laugh and prepare myself for Robbie’s wrath.
“Okay, well, there’s definitely some stupid involved. I came to Stillwater Bay with a motive. The first day I ‘popped in’ to see Violet at Sterling’s? Totally contrived.”
My throat constricts around the rest of what I have to say because I know, as soon as it’s out of my mouth, my best friend might never look at me the same again.
Regardless, I close my eyes, take a deep breath, and let it fly. “I came here specifically to talk her into signing a contract that would give me full rights to an idea she and I came up with when we were together.”
Robbie recoils, eyes narrowing. “After all you put her through, that’s the period you wanted at the end of your story?”
“I knew it was douchey. It was just something I had to do.”
“Why? Why was it something you had to do?”
The only real answer I have is: to get what I wanted.
The look on Robbie’s face says he knows.
“But that’s the part I want to talk about. The part that’s driving me crazy.” I sit back in my chair, mug in hands. “I haven’t brought the contract up to Violet yet.”
“Why not?”
“Because I walked into Sterling’s that first day and immediately knew I couldn’t.
Everything about her looked… wrong. She’s been through so much, and there I was, strolling in on her opening day, thinking I was just gonna ask for her signature then flit back out of her life again.
It was a dick move, she deserved better, and I knew it. I knew it before I left New York.”
“At least there’s that.” Robbie leans back, leveling me with a look that would make any man tremble.
Gone is the mischievous smile. Gone is the twinkle in his eyes.
In their place is sharp intelligence and a set jaw.
“If you hit Violet with that contract now, it’ll be proof that the Simon I used to know died somewhere under all that bullshit you call success.
If that’s where you’re going, if the gifts and dinners and ice-skating have been happening to alleviate your guilt, you need to take a long hard look in the mirror.
The Simon Holiday I knew would never be so self-serving.
Discovering every terrible thought she’s had about you these past few years was true is the last thing Violet needs. ”
“That’s not why I’m doing those things,” I say simply, and then I’m up and out of my chair, pacing the kitchen because this is an idea so big, so powerful, so real and true that I can’t sit still in its presence.
“On the flight here, I knew asking Violet to sign over her intellectual rights was horrible, but I told myself any number of lies to get over it. Then, the first couple days I was here, I told myself the timing was wrong. She was too sad. Or it was too awkward.” I scrub my hand over my face.
“But I think, mostly, it wasn’t the timing that was wrong.
It was me. That idea was ours. If it comes to life, we should bring it to life together. ”
Robbie bobs his head. “So far, I’m not actually hearing a problem. So far, it sounds like you still understand right from wrong. What’s driving you so crazy?”
And just like that, I’m pacing again, hands gesturing, mind churning.
“The problem is there’s a part of me—a growing part, a getting-louder-every-day part—that’s ready to walk away from everything I’ve built in New York. My apartment. My job. I want to wipe my hands of all of it and move back to Stillwater Bay to be with Violet.”
I pause and Robbie cocks his head, brows lifted, lips parted. By the looks of it, he saw this coming about as much as I did.
“But,” I continue, “I don’t know if she wants me. Or if she could ever trust me again. Only a crazy person would leave a job like mine after a few weeks with a woman who might not want him. Right?”
I plop back into my chair, hands out, heart open, but Robbie’s up and moving, the caffeine finally kicking in. I wait for a hard dose of wisdom, for the military grade compassion he promised, but instead he stops at the plate of sugar cookies on the counter and picks up one of my misshapen blobs.
“What in the world is this thing?” he asks.
A reminder of one of the best nights of my life, my mind supplies.
“It appears to be a cookie,” I say instead.
“Right, but… what is it?” Robbie turns the bulbous treat over in his hands. “I’ve been wondering for days.”
“What it is, is tasty. It’s never about the outside…” I trail off, freezing mid-sentence. “Holy crap. There it is.”
“There what is?” Robbie asks, taking a bite and nodding his approval as he chews.
“It’s never about the outside.” I drag my fingers into my hair as the full weight of the statement sinks in. “Hell, even my dad said something like that the first day I got here.”
Robbie stares as if waiting for more, then finally says, “From the looks of it, you think you’re making sense, but you’re really not.”
“My life in New York is all about the exterior stuff. Money. Pretense. Success for the sake of appearances. Here—with Violet—it’s about the inside. Simple days with big joy. It’s about love and happiness and doing what feels right.” I press a hand to my chest. “Right here.”
“You got all that from a cookie?”
I grin faintly. “Apparently.”
He shakes his head. “Man, you’ve got it bad.”
“I do have it bad,” I say quietly. “I never stopped having it bad. But if Violet only wants this to be a little fun between friends like Nora said, then does it matter what I—”
“Dude. Are you dumb?”
I arch a brow. “Is this that special Robbie brand of compassion you warned me about?”
“Violet’s never stopped loving you. Never. Of course she says she wants to keep it simple. Otherwise, she’s setting herself up for heartbreak, and she’s had enough of that, don’t you think?”
I nod slowly. “Walking away from my life is a big step.”
“It is.”
I meet his eyes. “But I think that’s the step I want to take.”