Chapter 15 Clara
“I ’M TIRED OF BEING SINGLE. It’s unfair to be this hot and have my longest healthy romantic relationship be with my vibrator.”
My turkey sub suddenly feels very phallic as I two-hand it into my mouth. I frown at my screen, where Honor is leaning against her kitchen counter in her work scrubs. “Tired of being single? Since when?”
“Since you ran off and I’m bored !” she says, leaning her chin against her crossed forearms.
“My brother is still madly in love with you if you feel like dating the less fun Davenport. I had dinner with him last week. Talked about Jurassic Park the entire time. He’s a total dork but he won’t cheat on you.”
Honor snorts. “ Jurassic Park ?”
“Specifically about whether Dad would open Jurassic Park if he could, even after watching all the movies.” It wasn’t a conversation about work so I just let it roll.
I was feeling lousy after Jack called me a victim in front of people I hardly know.
I wanted to ask Max what he thought but I was worried it would progress to talking about my promotion.
Or lack of promotion, as it could turn out.
“Your dad totally would if he could make money from it. No doubt about it. But I can’t date your brother, Clara. What if it all went wrong? I don’t want to make our friendship weird.”
I scoff. “Grow up, I wouldn’t care if you potentially dated Max. I’d feel sorry for you. Imagine dating someone that annoying and having my parents as your in-laws—you’d deserve my sympathy.”
“I don’t even think I want to date anyone. I think it’d be too weird for Paloma meeting someone new, plus Kyle would be a huge dick about it. I just wanna be taken out for dinner, then bent over afterward when she’s at her dad’s place. Is that too much to ask?”
“Definitely not. I refuse to talk about you hypothetically doing that with my brother, but I should point out that Paloma knows Max. Have you considered putting up a flyer? I’m sure you’d find someone real quick,” I tease.
Honor flips me off. “You’re less helpful now that you’re helping everyone else. Stop being selfish and come home to give me attention so I don’t end up having sex with someone I will later start to hate. Or worse, marry into your family.”
“I can’t stop it. It’s a canon event. Does it help to know I got worked up last night over minimal friendly touching? That’s how long it’s been since I had sex.” I already told Honor about Jack falling on top of me at the Christmas tree farm, which made her laugh for like five minutes.
I haven’t worked up the courage to explain finding an old, faded nutcracker made me launch myself at him.
I can see the funny side of it when I push past the embarrassment.
I didn’t start overthinking it until I was back in my room alone.
I was still buzzing with excitement and pride at achieving another goal, but as soon as I was greeted with the silence it fizzled away.
It reminded me of every time I walk into my empty place with nobody to tell about my day. Nobody to share my achievements with.
It can be lonely. Lonelier than I’d like to admit. That’s why it felt so good to have someone with me last night, someone to share the moment with, even if he was only there to save me from my own lack of coordination.
“You should take a ride on the carpenter. I—” Honor’s face and voice distort as my laptop freezes.
“Hon?”
The banner at the top of my screen tells me my internet connection is weak, and then the screen disappears completely.
I want to scream. The internet company sent someone here just this morning after I complained to them on Maggie’s behalf.
They replaced the router and things were so much better for the past few hours.
I send Honor a text letting her know my internet is down, possibly because of the storm, possibly because it’s the worst internet provider, and promise to call her back as soon as I can.
I’m supposed to be having my check-in call with work this afternoon. They’ll definitely think I’m lying if I say a storm knocked out the internet. I’m sure half the office believes I’m on paid vacation already.
I finish my sub watching the Wi-Fi icon closely, waiting for the little white curves to appear telling me I’m back online. Nothing happens and then my lights go out. I open all the blinds to let in as much natural light as possible, which in this climate isn’t a lot.
“Great,” I mutter.
The storm hasn’t even fully landed yet and it’s already being a pain in my ass. I opt to climb into bed for warmth instead of making a nuisance of myself by asking Maggie what’s happening, so I’m secretly relieved when there’s a knock on the internal door to the rest of the house.
Maggie’s worried face is on the other side of it. “I’m so sorry, Clara, but we’ve lost power. A tree has probably come down on the power line; that’s very common around these parts. The backup generator kicked in, but it’s tripped and I can’t get it going. This has never happened before.”
I hate seeing Maggie upset. “That’s totally okay! Is there anything I can do to help? Do you want me to call someone? My cell is fully charged and if I stand very still near the shower I get three bars of service.”
“You’re very sweet, but I’ve talked to the engineer already. He can’t get to us for two days. Unfortunately, it means you can’t stay here, but we have a contingency plan and my very generous neighbors have agreed to take in guests.”
Thanksgiving is only a few days away so I could theoretically go home early, but I don’t feel even close to ready to leave town yet and the roads might be too dangerous.
I feel like I’m really getting somewhere .
I’m so visible that people aren’t surprised to see me anymore, and I’ve been so proactively helpful that I’m getting trusted with more and more tasks.
People return my emails for the toy drive daily, Miss Celia is planning her event with Matilda’s team, I found the nutcracker for Wilhelmina, and I painted a nativity stable. Leaving early for Thanksgiving feels like I’m giving people the chance to forget about me.
“It’d be very kind if someone could take me in,” I tell her.
“I will be back with a bed for you as quick as I can. Thanks for being understanding, Clara. I’m not expecting anyone else to be as nice,” she says nervously.
Three couples checked in two nights ago.
It’s the busiest I’ve seen the B & B. I strongly suspect they’re swingers, which wouldn’t bother me in the slightest if I weren’t totally bitter about everyone but me—and Honor, apparently—having a sex life.
Maggie gives me a hug, which prompts zero reaction from my body or brain.
Just Jack then. “This has never happened before. I’m so careful with preparations in the colder months. ”
“I believe you, Maggie. Hey, why don’t you let me handle them? I’m really good at being yelled at and I can smooth things over while you organize who needs to go where. We could offer them free breakfast at Bliss and a voucher for a coffee and a pastry, maybe? As an apology.”
She looks like she’s about to turn me down, but then to my surprise she nods.
“Breakfast and vouchers is a great idea. If you don’t mind talking to them for me it would be a huge help!
Here are the room numbers.” She hands me a sticky note.
“I don’t know what I’d do without you at the moment, Clara. Thank you.”
A glowing feeling settles in the center of my chest. Fifteen minutes later, when I reach reception, Maggie is pacing around the small space with a cell phone decorated in monster stickers to her ear.
I hold up one finger to her and she covers the microphone of the phone with her hand, tilting it away from her ear.
“Just me to be rehomed. The three couples are going to find somewhere new out of town.”
Maggie mouths thank you and removes her hand from the mic.
“Flo has family visiting this week… Mm-hmm, I could ask Dove if she’ll take her…
Yes, her… Yes… No, Arthur had to take in Donald because there’s a tree down outside his house…
I know, but he thinks the government controls the weather… Okay, she’ll be over later.”
It’s funny how even only hearing one side of the conversation you can guess the other side of it. It’s also funny to ask a question I’m almost certain I know the answer to. With a tight smile, I watch Maggie hang up. “Who am I staying with?”
“Jack said you can stay with him.”
There’s a huge part of me that thinks I can survive here without any power.
If I don’t share the same space with him for multiple days, then I can’t throw myself at him.
Staying here and turning into an icicle feels like the only way I can 100 percent guarantee I don’t do that.
I can feel the stress radiating from Maggie so I keep smiling.
“Great. I’ll pack a bag and head over there later. ”
T HE H UNGRY F OX T AVERN HAS become my daily safe haven with its always-roaring fire, good food, and excellent Wi-Fi.
Tommy mostly sits and reads his Kindle when it’s quiet. It’s the perfect place to unabashedly email everyone I know while also delaying heading over to Jack’s place.
I lazily break off a piece of almond-topped peppermint chocolate bark and pop it in my mouth.
Tommy placed the plate to the right of my computer ten minutes ago.
The kitchen is trying different treat options for Christmas and I’ve been assigned the role of taster.
Mostly because I’m here more than anyone else, but I’m not complaining.
“Thoughts?” Tommy asks, approaching my table.
“The almond isn’t working. It needs crushed candy canes, the way Jesus would’ve wanted for his birthday month.
” He sighs. Tommy ordered ten times his usual almond order by accident and now he’s trying to use them up.
“Mix some sugar and cinnamon and do candied almonds. You can put them in little jars.”