Chapter Seven
Harte
Because of the shooting, I’d remained at Jet’s.
With his concern so focused on Emerson, I worried he wasn’t taking care of his mental health.
I made sure he kept his visits to the psychologist, and I waited for him after he returned to work, to ensure he had no nightmares from the first tour since the harrowing incident.
He’d come through it fine, and we were relaxing before dinner when Jet’s phone rang. He raised his eyes to the ceiling.
“God help me,” he muttered. “Hi, Mom. How was the cruise?…I’m glad it was fun…yeah. I’ll be working days soon enough…yeah, of course…can’t wait to see you too. Love you. Bye.” He set the phone on the couch.
“Does she want to come over now?” I asked.
“No, but sooner than later.” He picked up my hand and played with my fingers. I knew he had concerns about her acceptance of his sexuality.
“Are you okay? You’re worried, aren’t you?”
He hung his head. “I don’t want to be, but I can’t help it. I’m not the type to keep secrets, and I can’t help wondering what my mom and sister are going to say.”
“And having me here can be a liability for you if they decide to come for a visit without calling first.” I knew he didn’t want to admit it, but it was obvious.
The last thing I wanted was to lay more stress on Jet’s shoulders.
“I think I should go home.” At his brows shooting high, I rushed to explain.
“I have to go home eventually. And I’m almost fully healed, so there are no excuses for why I should stay. ” Except how badly I wanted to.
“I hate this,” Jet grumbled.
“Me too. But me living at my place doesn’t mean we aren’t going to see each other just as much.”
I kissed him, then went to pack my things, and since I hadn’t replaced my car, I called for a cab. I stood with my bag by the door, feeling as depressed as Jet looked.
“I’ll call you later, Jet.”
Lips buried in my hair, he held me. “You’d better. See you after my tour?”
I met his gaze. “Bet your ass you will.”
The car ride was less than eight minutes long, but it felt like a thousand miles separated us.
We’d become a unit, and when the car left and I watched it drive away, I wanted to call it back.
Did I belong here anymore? Could I call it a home if for the past two weeks I’d been with Jet, sharing our lives and making love every morning and night?
But it was the right thing to do. Jet needed the space to talk to his family.
I picked up my duffel, mounted the steps, and opened the door. The walls echoed with silence. No rumpled bed that smelled like sweat and sex. Like Jet and me. Only my shower gel and shampoo in the bathroom. Only fourteen days ago, it would’ve been all normal and expected.
That was before Jet.
Before I’d fallen in love.
Oh, yeah. I felt it in my soul. Jet was my forever. My man. I didn’t give a damn if it was fast and furious. I knew my heart, and it wanted Jet.
Only a month ago I’d been adrift and uncertain, missing the life I had with the Kings and even with Maya, as imperfect as it had been.
But now, sitting in my empty house after my days with Jet, I knew the difference.
Jet had blown through all my self-imposed barriers and questions.
He’d erased my hesitation and doubts. I’d learned that loving a man wasn’t something to fear.
It was a new day, and I was a new person. Someone who deserved to be happy.
“Sitting around isn’t going to get things done.” I took out my phone and called Dev.
“Dude, how’re you liking the mountain life? Pretty cool, isn’t it?”
Talking to Dev, I couldn’t help smiling. He was always a positive source of energy, and that was exactly what I needed.
“Yeah. It’s gorgeous. Exactly like you said. Where are you guys now? Here or down South?” I waited, hoping for the answer I needed.
“We got here a couple of days ago. Funny that you called, ’cause we were gonna see if you wanted to get together for dinner.”
“How about tonight? I-I’d love to catch up.”
“You got something on your mind?”
Aside from being the best quarterback in the league, Devlin Summers was also one of the most intuitive men I’d ever met. I chuckled. “Can’t fool you. Yeah. I really need advice, and you and Brody are the people who can help me the most.”
“Come by whenever you want. We’re just hanging out.”
“Thanks. See you soon.”
Later that afternoon, realizing I had nothing to bring with me to their house—my mother had taught me to always give a little gift when you visited a friend—I called a car to take me to Dolly’s, then on to Dev and Brody’s.
Once I was dropped off, I stood and admired their home, all decked out for the holidays.
Giant candy canes standing on either side of the staircases, multicolored lights draped over every towering pine tree, running the entire perimeter of the house.
The front door opened, and Dev called out, “Come on inside. It’s freezing.”
I tramped up the stairs and into the warmth of their cabin.
I’d visited while looking for my own place, but to be here at Christmastime was to experience the embrace of a home filled with love.
Pictures of the two of them with friends and family were everywhere, from their years playing football to their wedding day.
A fire crackled in the hearth, and stockings hung on the mantel.
A fully decorated tree rose, close to seven feet in the corner, with piles of presents underneath.
Dev gave me a hug, and I handed him the box. “Some goodies from Dolly’s.”
“Yes!” He danced. “Best stuff in town. Thanks.” He set it on the counter. “Let’s go into the living room.”
I couldn’t help staring as I crossed the room to the giant sectional. Tinsel and lights glittered from every surface. “Wow. It’s like Christmas exploded in here.”
Brody appeared with a beer in each hand and gave one to me. “Harte, buddy. Great to see you. Yeah, we kinda like to do it up.”
Dev said, “I never had real Christmases growing up, so it’s go big or go home.” Dev inspected my face. “And you look…not so great. What happened?”
I explained, and Dev shook his head. “Yeah, the roads can be treacherous up here when it snows. We hunker down and hibernate when that happens. Take long walks. It’s cold but really beautiful.”
“That’s the smart thing to do. I’ll follow your example.” I took a pull of my beer. “How’s the podcast going?”
“Great. Anytime you want to come on, let us know. We’d be happy to have you.”
“Thanks, but I’m not sure I’d have anything to contribute. I still haven’t figured out what the hell to do with my life. Decorating my house isn’t going to do it.”
“Is that what you wanted to talk about?” Dev asked, that green gaze of his sharp.
My face grew hot. “Not exactly.” I gripped the cold bottle in my hands. My heart pounded, and my vision swam. I swallowed hard. How could I be so scared? Dev and Brody were the two people who’d understand the most.
“See, uh…” I blew out a breath. “I, uh, I’m bisexual.
” Dev’s and Brody’s brows shot up. “Yeah. I was always attracted to men, but as a kid from a small town, I went the route of marriage and thought I was happy, and then Maya dumped me.” I’d never been one to talk about emotions, but I wasn’t the same man they knew from the Kings.
“Since my divorce, I-I’ve been attracted more to men.
I couldn’t act on it because I was still playing, but it didn’t change how I felt. ”
“Trust us, we know how that feels.” Dev grimaced. “You feel intense pressure to conform even though it hurts inside.”
I knew they’d appreciate my concerns better than anyone. “Yeah. I wish I could’ve been like Patrick, but I didn’t have a support system.”
Brody’s face reflected sadness. “You coulda come to us. We woulda had your back.”
“I know that now, but at the time? We weren’t close, and frankly, you were both out of my league.
” They opened their mouths in protest, and I put up a hand.
“That’s my insecurity talking. You guys are the best, and I’m so damn lucky to have you as friends.
That’s why I’m here now. I’m not really sure how to handle what might be coming my way if people start to question me… ”
Dev put up his hands. “Whoa. Slow down. Okay. First of all, can we assume you haven’t told anyone else?” When I shook my head, Dev gave me a huge hug. “Thank you for giving us your trust.”
Brody came over and sat on my other side. He put his large hand on my shoulder. “Seriously, man. I’m honored you feel safe with us.”
I hadn’t thought I’d get emotional, but my eyes blurred with tears. Dev and Brody put their arms around my shoulders and held me as I cried.
“Sorry,” I sniffled, wiping my wet face with my hands. “I didn’t think it would be such a big deal telling you.”
“Don’t ever apologize for being human.” Dev brushed at his cheeks. “You’ve got me in my feelings. Coming out is such a huge moment. Like you’re finally able to be the person you were meant to be.”
“I’m proud of you, Harte,” Brody said, then chuckled. “And babe, you’re always in your feelings.”
Dev blew him a kiss. “I love you too. Now, what do you want to do? Are you looking for a relationship?”
I chewed my lip. “Well, here’s the thing—”
“You’ve met someone.” Dev was always so damn intuitive. “And it’s hot and heavy. Am I right?”
I knew my face was bright red, and Brody squeezed my shoulder. “You don’t gotta answer that if you don’t wanna.”
“No, I…I want to. Yes. I have. But he’s not out, so I don’t feel right in saying more. I mean, he came out to his best friend but didn’t say it was me he was with because I hadn’t come out yet.”
“Complicated but not impossible.” Dev tapped his cheek. “How about this? You know the organization Brody and I started—GAINS?”
“Yeah, sure. I’ve followed it. You’re doing great things normalizing gay athletes in sports nd helping LGBTQ causes.”