Chapter 11
CHAPTER ELEVEN
T he warmth of the heating welcomed them into Café Lagoon, and Lacie eyed the cakes in the window. She hadn’t eaten much at the trivia night, pacing herself so she wouldn’t get nausea from food overload, but the cakes on display looked too good to resist.
‘That hummingbird cake looks amazing.’
‘It does. Let’s get two slices,’ Nathan said. He looked at Jonah, whose smile was ever-present. ‘And a hot chocolate was it, Lacie? My shout.’ He smiled and held out his coffee vouchers.
‘Yes, thanks.’
‘And I’ll have a chai latte, thanks, mate.’
‘Perfect for a chilly night like tonight.’ Jonah glanced out at the street, where a firm breeze was cutting through the air. ‘Now, we are closing, in…’ he looked at his watch, ‘twenty-five minutes, but you’re still welcome to sit in until then, unless you wanted takeaways?’
Lacie raised her eyebrows at Nathan. ‘I know it’s freezing,’ she said, ‘but I’d love one more beach stroll before my departure. Is that crazy? Plus, the full moon on the ocean is so beautiful, I want to snap a pic.’
‘Not crazy at all. I’ve often camped in winter. Being out in nature is my passion, after all.’ He winked.
‘Takeaways coming right up,’ Jonah said, then got to work.
Soon after, they were parked in Nathan’s Ute beside the beach. ‘Want to have these in the car first, or do you want the full outdoor nature experience?’ he asked her.
‘Hmm, I don’t want to get sand in my cake, but…’
‘I’ve got an idea. I’ve got a small pop-up tent I sometimes use when fishing late at night.’
‘Oh, that’s okay. No need to go to any trouble.’
‘No trouble. It only takes about ten seconds to set up. It just unfolds, like a kids’ play tent.’
‘Why not? One last little adventure before I…’ She wondered how many times she’d said ‘before I go’ today.
‘I’m not sure it’d be classed as an adventure, but it might be a… fun moment.’ He smiled and got out of the car, and she followed, tightening her scarf, popping on her beanie, then carrying the cake bag and tray of hot drinks.
‘So,’ he said, grabbing the tent from the back of the car, ‘apart from the Love and Peace rose, do you have a favourite flower?’
‘My answer to that question has always changed over the years! Depends at the time. But one I always turn to no matter what is the tulip. I love the smooth simplicity of it. Their curved petals and bright tones. Perfection.’
He nodded. ‘Did you know tulips can also be eaten? Mainly the petals and the bulb, as long as they’re not sprayed with chemicals. They’re from the onion family.’
‘Really?’
‘Only if one was desperate of course.’
‘Yeah, I wouldn’t want to waste their beauty.’ Lacie imagined munching on her favourite flower. ‘Tulips, edible. Who’d have thought?’
‘I know. Amazing earth we live on, eh?’
She gazed across the expanse of ocean, the shimmer of moonlight caressing the ripples on the surface. Lacie drew in a deep breath and tried to memorise the salty aroma, the cool and soothing sensation – an all-encompassing freshness in the air as though it was part of her, absorbing not only through her lungs but her skin. She popped the cake and drinks into the tray of the Ute for a moment and got out her phone. She took a few photos of the full moon commanding the sea.
‘Not as good as the real thing,’ she said as she appraised her photography, ‘but nice to have some extra memories to take back with me.’
‘After tonight, you can say you’ve been camping on the beach too.’ He smiled. ‘At least the tent part.’
‘Let’s go. I’m so looking forward to this cake.’ She picked up the items and they walked down the narrow sandy pathway. Luckily, she was wearing boots so sand wouldn’t get in her shoes, and only with a mid-rise heel so she wasn’t too wobbly. She didn’t feel like taking them off and freezing her toes.
Nathan wore tan suede boots and dark jeans. He’d covered his checked shirt with a thick jacket, and looked every bit the rugged Australian outdoors type.
‘I’m curious to see how we’re both going to fit in that tiny tent.’ She giggled.
‘You’d be surprised.’ He found a good spot at the base of a sand dune and he pulled the tent out of its circular zip-up bag. In a flash, he had popped it out and it formed a triangular shape.
‘Ladies first.’ He gestured, then held the bag and drinks as she climbed inside, giggling again.
‘Reminds me of our childhood cubby houses. We used to make them out of tablecloths and blankets, draping them all around the dining table and chairs, so much fun. But we had five of us to squeeze in.’
‘What was it like, growing up with so many siblings?’ he asked as he climbed in after her and sat the food in front of them, and took a sip of his drink.
‘Fun. Annoying. Crazy. Loud. All those things.’ She sipped her drink and let its warmth calm her soul. She observed him as he watched the ocean through the gap in the tent. ‘I hope that didn’t sound ungrateful. What was it like for you? Did you get to make many friends in the places you grew up?’
Nathan sighed. ‘A few. But then I’d get moved again. Or, as I got older, I’d make friends with the wrong types. I got used to making my own fun.’
Lacie couldn’t imagine growing up on her own and without a loving family. She thought of her baby, and if she gave it up for adoption, would the parents adopt more or would her baby be an only child? She felt a pang of sadness, and of longing… although it still hadn’t sunk in, the thought of adoption still flashed through her mind sometimes… giving hope to a desperate couple, giving her baby a stable home… and the story of Dr Greene’s child coming back years later as an adult with a happy reunion, made her wonder if that would be for the best. But she longed for her baby to have a life like she’d had. Lots of kids running around together, even if they were cousins or friends’ children. If she gave up her child, would she always wonder what their life was like, to the point it would become an ongoing obsession, or a regret?
She shook her thoughts away. There’d be time for them on the plane. She remembered Nathan and Jessie the other day and laughed. ‘I can see that. You sure had fun with the second-best gardener the other day.’
He chuckled, and a sudden breeze whipped at the flaps of the tent. ‘Oh, that. Yeah, she’s a good kid. Lots of energy. Smart cookie too.’
‘She sure is. Oh, I’m going to miss them all.’
‘I bet.’
She dug her wooden fork into the cake and devoured a chunk, savouring the comforting texture and the mix of flavours from the tangy pineapple to the creamy sweetness of the icing. Cold air tickled her cheeks as it rushed in through the narrow gap at the front of the tent.
‘Your family is pretty awesome,’ he continued. ‘I’m a lucky man to get to work for them and be treated so well.’
‘Oh, Mum loves you. And she enjoys the company, with all of us except Ellie living our lives elsewhere, she can get a bit lonely sometimes.’
‘Must be hard for her after your dad. And all of you.’
‘Yeah. It is.’ Lacie sipped more hot chocolate, her hands snug and warm around the cup. ‘You remind me a bit of him actually. Not in a dad way, in a man way. He was always so grateful, so empathetic and understanding of other’s feelings and points of view. Mum said he was a rare breed.’
‘Oh, well thank you, I’m honoured. I know what it’s like to be misunderstood, not listened to, not accepted… I guess I figured I should do my best to give that to others since I know what a gift it can be.’
‘You definitely are a rare breed,’ Lacie said. She thought of Xavier, who would often be on his phone when she was trying to talk to him, or would just say ‘get over it’ when she’d had a bad day.
For a few moments there was nothing but silence between them, apart from the whistling wind and gushing ocean waves. Lacie felt fully awake, alive, and… something else.
She glanced at Nathan just as he glanced at her, then quickly looked away, suddenly self-conscious for some reason. A butterfly flitted about in her belly, and she knew it was too early to feel the baby move.
‘Nice cake,’ said Nathan, finishing off the last of his slice.
‘Yeah, delicious,’ Lacie said, putting the last piece in her mouth despite the fact it was a bit of a mouthful. She covered her mouth with her spare hand as she chewed, desperate to swallow it and hoping she hadn’t overloaded her stomach to the point of nausea. She drew in a deep breath, the air in the tent a bit heavy.
‘Want to go for that beach walk?’ Nathan asked. ‘It’s stuffy in here now.’
‘Sure. But…’ She got onto her knees and peered through the gap in the tent, the wind instantly hitting her face. ‘I think out there it’s the other end of the spectrum.’
‘A bit fresh, huh. I’m game if you are.’ He shrugged.
She looked at him and smiled. ‘Don’t they say cold exposure is good for the immune system?’
‘Sure is. Want to go for a dip too?’ He cocked his head toward the ocean and she laughed.
‘I’m not that keen for an immune boost, I’ll just take some vitamin sea from a bottle instead.’
She popped their empty cups into the cake bag and scrambled through the opening and he followed, pushing the metal pegs further into the sand with his foot, and tossing a few pieces of driftwood into the tent. ‘Don’t want it flying away,’ he said.
Lacie rubbed her arms and jogged lightly on the spot as a large wave crashed onto the shore, sending with it a rush of cold air. ‘On second thoughts…’ Maybe the cold wasn’t good for the baby?
‘Let’s make it a quick walk, shall we?’ He crooked his elbow and she hooked her arm through, and they walked in quick, stiff steps up to a sand dune and back again, laughing at how silly they must look, and why they would choose a cold winter’s night to have a beach picnic. But it was her final night, and she was no stranger to the cold, so she let herself enjoy the moment and breathed in the salty air with gratitude. ‘I’ll miss the smell of this place.’
‘It’s funny, isn’t it, how places smell different to each other?’
‘It is.’
‘What does Chicago smell like?’
‘A bit of everything. Car fumes when you step outside, a bit of salt from the lake, sewage sometimes,’ she crinkled her nose, ‘but I love the fresh grass in the park after the rain, and my favourite – popcorn. There’s a great popcorn shop near my salon.’
‘Some things to look forward to then.’
She nodded. She was looking forward to getting back. It was her home, after all. But her home was also here, and in her heart, always would be.
Lacie stood still in front of the tent and Nathan’s eyes sparkled as the full moon shone onto his face. ‘I’ll miss you too,’ she said.
‘My smell, or me?’ He laughed.
She giggled, shaking her head. She leaned close to him and breathed in; a hint of something spicy yet sweet catching her awareness. ‘Both,’ she whispered. She glanced up into his eyes, and suddenly the air wasn’t cold anymore. Whatever she was feeling overtook all other sensations. Until the loud crash of another wave stole her focus.
‘Let’s get this tent back to the car before it blows away,’ he said, scratching his temple and averting his gaze.
‘Sure.’ Lacie’s heart sunk a little, not sure exactly what she was feeling but knowing she didn’t want this night to end.
She tried to help him fold up the tent while holding the rubbish from their feast, but wasn’t much help as the wind kept flipping the material around.
‘These things are tricky sometimes,’ he said, trying to twist and fold it. ‘Supposed to be easy and instant, but not on a night like tonight!’ He grunted as he tried to force it back into a folded position, but it popped straight back up again like a jack-in-the-box, one corner hitting him in the face. ‘Oh, man!’ He rubbed at his cheek, and Lacie tried to bite back a laugh but it escaped.
‘Here, let me try and help again.’ She held one side while he pushed and twisted the other, their laughter making it hard to hold it steady.
‘How about we drag it back to the car, it might be easier there with a bit of a wind break?’
‘Good idea!’
She held one side and he held the other, and, laughing as the wind flapped the tent about, they walked quickly back up the pathway to the car park, and she tossed the rubbish in a nearby bin.
Nathan stood by the Ute and with one mighty twist, managed to hold the tent steady in its closed position, and she helped attach the clasp.
‘Victory!’ he exclaimed, and she clapped.
‘That was definitely a fun night to remember!’ She rubbed her hands together as she got into the passenger seat, Nathan chuckling and putting the car’s heating on right away.
‘Forgotten anything?’ he asked, twisting to face her and checking the back seat. ‘We did leave in a hurry.’ As his gaze returned to the front it rested on hers, and his pure smile and slightly red nose endeared her.
She was still panting from the mad dash back to the car, and his breath tickled her cheek as his face seemed closer than it was a moment ago. Unable to look away, unable to move away, their eyes locked like a laser onto each other in mutual knowing. Heart beating double time, in an instant their lips were pressed together. A warm rush flooded her entire body, drenching her in a longing she didn’t know she had. His hand grasped hers and he threaded his fingers between her own, his other hand meeting her cheek with the gentlest of caresses. The cold from a moment ago long forgotten, as his kiss transported her somewhere else completely.
When they broke away for a breath, only centimetres separating their lips, he spoke.
‘Lacie…’ They both panted. ‘I wish you were staying. Even one more day.’
She held his hand more tightly. ‘I wish that now, too.’
He leaned his forehead against hers with a sigh, and she licked her lips, wanting to savour the moment.
‘It’ll be a special, secret memory,’ she whispered, touching his cheek with the palm of her hand.
‘I guess it’ll have to be,’ he whispered back.
Reluctantly, she pulled away, and exhaled loudly. ‘Wasn’t expecting that.’
‘Me neither. Sorry.’
‘Don’t be.’
She searched his eyes, trying to make sense of what was happening and wondering how they could possibly go on with their own lives after a kiss like that. Her lips wanted more, her body wanted more, her heart wanted more.
But his eyes looked as confused as she felt.
‘If things were…’ he said, his gaze finally leaving hers as he glanced out the window.
‘Different. I know,’ she completed his sentence.
If I still lived here…
If you lived in the States…
If I wasn’t pregnant with someone else’s baby…
If, if, if.
Lacie realised her life would never be the same. If she ever got around to dating again as a single mother, she wouldn’t be able to go out on a whim anywhere with anyone. It would be her and the child, and the mystery man would have to be up for that. She’d probably have to be home and in bed by 10pm to be able to wake in the middle of the night to tend to her little one.
Nathan caught her gaze again. ‘If you were staying, I’d probably ask you out on a proper, even better, and temperature-controlled date,’ he said with a soft smile.
‘Probably?’
‘Okay, definitely .’ His smile widened. ‘I like being with you. Talking to you.’
‘Me too.’
He held her hand again. ‘Let’s keep talking then. Distance doesn’t have to get in the way of a good convo at the very least.’
‘I’d like that. We may not be able to date, but we can try to be…’
‘Friends?’
‘Friends.’
Her words conflicted with her emotions, but she had to push them down, way down. It was a simple holiday kiss in the heat of the moment, nothing more. It couldn’t be. For more than one reason.
‘Deal,’ he said, getting out his phone. ‘Can I friend you on Facebook?’
‘Sure,’ she said, opening the app on her phone. ‘I don’t post much except on my business page, but I use messenger a lot, so let’s chat on there.’
‘Anytime you want a trivia challenge, let me know. I’ll send you some questions and see if you can answer them.’
‘I look forward to it.’
They friended each other and Lacie put her phone in her bag. ‘So, I never got to find out. What’s your favourite flower? Is it another edible one like tulips?’
Nathan shook his head. ‘Actually, my favourite flower is a weed.’
Lacie’s eyebrows drew together and she chuckled. ‘A weed?’
‘Lantana. The flowers are cute and I like how it can thrive wherever it is, no matter what. A bit like me.’
‘Ha. Cool,’ Lacie said. ‘I know the one, it has those tiny pink and yellow petals.’
He nodded. ‘I’m weird, huh?’
His favourite flower was a weed.
A rare breed indeed.