Chapter Nine
Nine
“What the hell is all of that?”
Morgan glanced up from her position on the steps and smiled at Ryan’s scowl as he stood in the foyer looking up.
“It’s decoration.” She fluffed more of the fresh garland around the banister. “This place really needed to be more festive.”
“I have a tree up in the living room. That’s festive enough.”
Aw, poor baby didn’t like her putting her feminine touches in his domain. Too bad. She didn’t like sleeping alone when the best lover she’d ever had slept mere steps away.
They’d rolled into day three of living together, and she really didn’t know how much longer she could go without his touch.
“Yeah, I fixed your tree, too,” she informed him. “Those ornaments were pretty sparse. I added a few of my personal touches.”
Ryan closed the door and continued to stare. Morgan came down another step and went about her decorating.
“Bad day on the ranch?” she asked. “You seem...cranky. Or perhaps it’s sexual frustration.”
“I’m fine.”
Considering his declaration came through gritted teeth, she had to assume he was anything but.
“Nelson made meat loaf and mashed potatoes with fresh asparagus for dinner. If he keeps making such delicious things, I’m going to have to buy bigger clothes.” Morgan stilled and then groaned. “I guess that’s irrelevant at this point. I’m going to blow up like a whale anyway.”
“You look fine now and you’ll look fine no matter what size you are later.”
An unexpected flutter filled her and she didn’t want his compliments. She wanted in his bed for the duration of her stay and she wanted to figure out a solid plan for parenting. That was it. None of these extras that delved too far down into the barrel of emotions.
“Do you want to help with my idea for the exterior or should I ask TJ?”
Ryan sighed. “Leave my ranch foreman alone and the outside is just fine. I’ll throw a wreath on the front door if that makes you feel any better.”
Morgan finished adjusting the gold ribbon wrapped around the garland, then came down off the steps. She made her way to Ryan, got within inches, and crossed her arms over her chest.
“Have you always hated Christmas or are you trying to be difficult?”
“Neither.” He took off his hat and hung it on the metal hook near the front door.
After raking his hand over his mussed hair, he propped his hands on his hips.
“I just never understand why so much energy is spent on something that will be taken down in a short time. I celebrate the holiday and buy appropriate gifts, but I don’t have the time to take for anything else. ”
Something was off with him and she couldn’t put her finger on it. Even through all of their quarrels, he’d been a fairly easygoing guy. Ryan had always been cocky, a little arrogant and totally in control of his emotions. He made jokes at her expense and could seduce her with just one look.
This was a whole other side of Ryan and something in her wanted to figure out every aspect of him. When he had days like this, who did he typically talk to? His ranch foreman, his ranch hands, and his chef were all centered around business. Did he open up to Vic or Jayden?
“What happened?” she asked.
Ryan blinked and stared. “When?”
“Today. Something happened and you’re upset.”
Silence settled between them and she waited for him to say something.
That intense stare he had gave no indication of what he was thinking or even feeling.
Up until now, she’d been able to read him pretty well.
But they’d also only had very intense relationships on each side of the spectrum.
They were either arguing or passionate. They’d yet to find middle ground and that was precisely where they needed to land.
“It’s nothing.”
He started to turn and head toward the steps, but she grabbed his arm. Clearly caught off guard, Ryan glanced from her hand curled around his biceps to her face.
“Don’t lie to me,” she demanded. “If you don’t want to talk about it, say that, but don’t say it’s nothing when obviously you’re upset.”
“Fine. I don’t want to talk about it.”
He pulled from her grasp and continued up the steps, muttering about the garland the entire way. Morgan watched until he disappeared and even then she continued to stare at the top of the landing.
Whatever he was dealing with likely had to do with the ranch. She shouldn’t be annoyed that he wouldn’t talk to her. She’d been adamant from the start that she didn’t want more with him than coparenting and intimacy. She couldn’t ask him to be all in if she had no intention herself.
Still, she couldn’t explain why, but she wanted to be that person he talked to. She didn’t want him to just keep feelings bottled up. How would that help anything?
He needed space and she needed dinner. Once he cooled off, maybe he’d want to talk. She just wished she didn’t care so much. This was only day three and she couldn’t even imagine how she’d feel come day thirty.
Ryan stepped from his bathroom to the adjoining bedroom and stilled. There on his king-size, four-poster bed sat a tray with dinner, tea and a note written on the napkin.
I’m turning in early. Hope tomorrow is better.
M
He stared at the note and her delicate handwriting. He was having a baby with the woman and had never seen her writing until now. There were so many little things he just didn’t know and he had no idea what all he was missing, but he did know he owed her an apology.
The day at the stables had been depressing and infuriating. Most days he loved his job. He loved the manual labor of running a ranch. But then there were days like today when losing an animal made him realize the fragility of everything around him.
And instead of being thankful that Morgan was comfortable enough here to make the place her home, he’d shut down and lashed out.
Why was he always apologizing to her?
Oh yeah. Because lately he’d been a jerk. He never intended for her to be the target of his frustrations, but she was there and he seriously needed to get a grasp on his control.
He hadn’t been in the shower too long, so perhaps she hadn’t gotten in bed yet. He would just tap on her door, apologize and thank her for dinner.
Guilt niggled at him because he’d invited her here so he could take care of her. Even though she claimed she didn’t need his help, he’d wanted to prove to her that they would be a great team together.
Ryan pulled on a pair of boxers and rubbed his chest as he made his way out of his room and across the wide hallway. He listened for a moment, but didn’t hear anything. He tapped the back of his knuckles on the door.
“Morgan.”
Silence. He tapped again and the door eased open just a bit. He pushed it slightly and peered inside. All he saw was a book lying on the bedside table, her jewelry all displayed on the top of the dresser, and a floral robe draped over the bottom of the bed.
Then he heard it. Humming and water running.
Ryan turned his attention toward the bathroom and debated on leaving or following through. He’d come here for a reason and the apology couldn’t wait. She deserved better.
He tapped on the bathroom door and the water and humming instantly ceased.
“Yeah?”
“Thank you for the dinner,” he called through the closed door. “I’m sorry about earlier. It was just... I didn’t have a great day and I didn’t mean to take it out on you.”
He waited for a reply, but the door eased open and Morgan stood before him wearing only a towel wrapped around her. She’d piled those red curls up on top of her head and her face was void of any makeup.
She looked like a damn fantasy come to life. Yeah, coming in here had been a mistake. He could have texted or called from across the hall and saved them from this face-to-face meeting. Between them, they only had two scraps of clothing for coverage.
If he slept with her now, she’d think that was all he wanted from her. And while everything in him needed Morgan in his bed, he also had to think long-term. If they didn’t get some ground rules set, they’d never accomplish a joint union that served both of them and their child.
“You’re entitled to bad days,” she told him. “Don’t worry about apologizing to me.”
He never wanted to admit she was right, but in this instance, she was. Bad days were simply part of life and the fact that she understood churned a deeper emotion within him that he wasn’t quite ready to face.
“Did you eat dinner?” he asked, turning away from any unwanted thoughts.
“I had some, but decided a relaxing bath sounded better.”
He couldn’t stop his eyes from traveling over all of that creamy exposed skin. He clenched his fists at his sides when she eased the door open a bit farther.
“There’s plenty of room in here for two,” she offered.
Why had he refused this before? Oh, yeah. He was trying to be a gentleman and see if they could make this work if they removed sex from the equation.
That was the most idiotic plan he’d ever had in his life.
No man would turn down such an invitation.
But, again, she deserved better. She deserved a man who would treat her with respect and he wanted to show her that they should get married.
And she wouldn’t marry him if all they had was a physical connection.
So no matter how damn much he wanted her, he couldn’t have her.
Ryan smoothed a wayward strand of hair from her forehead and trailed his fingertip down her jawline.
“You are too tempting,” he murmured. “But I wasn’t kidding about not sleeping together. We have to try at something solid that isn’t based on the emotions of sex or fighting.”
“All we have to do is whatever the hell we want,” she retorted. “There’s no reason for rules here, Ryan. We both want each other, so why are you doing this?”
He took a step back and crossed his arms over his chest. “Because our baby needs parents that can work together, who might actually have something in common other than chemistry. I want to show you that we can have it all if we try.”
“So you don’t care that you’ll go back to your room and leave me alone and aching? I know you’ll be just as miserable. Come in here with me. Let me help you forget about your bad day.”
Oh, she could certainly make him forget a good many things.
But he had to keep his eye on the main goal and that had to be his family.
He had a heritage to protect and plans were already in place.
He’d been close once to love and legacy.
Then he realized love didn’t matter, but family meant everything.
He yearned to find that again and refused to ever give up.
Now that he had a second chance, he would fight with everything in him to secure the future of Yellow Rose.
“When you decide to marry me, you’ll be in my bed.”
Ryan turned and left her room before he betrayed the vow he made to himself.
He wanted the hell out of her and she knew it.
She had a valid point that they were alone and nobody was there to stop them.
He completely understood and agreed. But he needed her to see where he was coming from and until that moment came, Ryan would have to stand his ground.