Chapter Sixteen
Sixteen
“You think we can make it out of the house with you looking like that?”
Morgan glanced in the mirror at the reflection of Ryan standing over her shoulder in his bedroom. His eyes held hers and Morgan spun around to take in the full view.
“This is just a white dress.” She laughed as she gripped his lapels. “But you in a suit...that’s pretty hot.”
He started to reach for her, but dropped his hands.
“I don’t even know where to touch you without messing anything up.”
Morgan took his hands and settled them on her waist. “Never be afraid to touch me,” she told him, then tipped her head to the side. “This is the first time I’ve ever seen you not in jeans and a T-shirt or naked.”
Ryan’s rich bark of laughter sent a shiver through her.
“Well, I’ve seen you in all aspects, and this dress is making me want to skip the party completely and see what you have on beneath.”
The bundle of nerves that started weeks ago swelled inside her. She had worries, fears and too many unknowns to remain calm.
“I’m wearing your favorite outfit under here.”
His lips curved into a sultry grin. “My favorite outfit is nothing.”
“Exactly.” She patted the side of his face. “There’s an excellent liner so you can’t see a thing.”
Ryan groaned and dug his fingers into her hips as he jerked her even closer. Their hips aligned and there was no mistaking his arousal.
“You’re killing me,” he growled. “I hate that we’re not going together so I can walk in with you on my arm.”
“Are you upset that I asked to arrive separately?” she asked, worried she’d put him in an uncomfortable position.
Ryan slid his hands up her arms and held on to her shoulders. “Not at all. I understand we have to find our footing here between us. That doesn’t mean I don’t want you by my side, but that can wait.”
Guilt niggled at her because her feelings were growing and she had no idea what they were developing into or how to handle all of these sudden life changes. He wanted a marriage based solely on the baby and she couldn’t help but feel like something much more was going on between them.
“I never want you to wonder if I think you and this baby are a dirty little secret,” she explained. “With my sister’s wedding and now this news about Heath and the oil, I don’t want to add to all the chatter.”
“I get it,” he reassured her. “Believe me. After Chelsea and Nolan’s wedding, we can figure out the best way to handle everything. People are going to find out about the baby, but maybe they’ll also learn there’s another wedding happening soon.”
Morgan knew he still wanted marriage, now more than ever, and the temptation was so strong. But at the end of the day, she still had to do what she felt was right.
A week ago she was so adamant about saying no and now.
..well, now her heart told her to go for it, but her head told her to take a step back, evaluate the situation and calm down.
Had they moved too fast? Could she trust her emotions at this stage?
With so much confusion, she couldn’t answer him right now.
This wasn’t something to rush into or take lightly.
The fact she waffled between her head and her heart really proved the strength of this pull toward Ryan.
“I’m going to head on out,” she told him as she took a step back. “But feel free to peel me out of this when we get back.”
The muscle in his jaw clenched as his eyes raked over her once again.
“That’s a promise,” he assured her. “Now get on out of here before I decide I don’t want to wait and I don’t care if I mess up your hair and makeup.”
Morgan smiled as she grabbed her beaded gold clutch and headed out of her bedroom. The way he looked at her, the things he said to her, the way he treated her...how could she not be falling in love with the man?
Ryan Carter had more power over her than she ever wanted to admit.
Love still terrified her, but at the same time, she wasn’t sure if that was what she was feeling.
All Morgan knew was that she didn’t want to settle.
That would never change. She only wished she knew more of what Ryan was thinking, of what he was feeling.
Did he see her as more than the mother of his child and a bedmate?
What held him back from opening up? Fear? Stubborn pride?
There were so many questions that she wouldn’t get answered tonight, so she headed to the Cattleman’s Club and decided to just have a good time...and she was already anticipating the after-party.
Seeing Ryan across the room proved to be more difficult than Morgan had figured.
Actually, she hadn’t thought about this part at all.
She’d assumed they would arrive separately, be cordial, and maybe even share a dance.
But Ryan had barely looked her way and she wasn’t quite sure what to think about that.
She also hadn’t thought about how odd it would be to walk around without a champagne flute in her hand like everyone else just to blend in. Perhaps she should have some sparkling water.
“You are stunning.”
Morgan turned to see Chelsea and Nolan. The two held hands and were both beaming—apparently that was what love did to people.
Could she be in love? Was that what had been happening to her over these past few weeks with Ryan?
The idea thrilled and terrified her. She didn’t know if she could rely on her mixed emotions and land on something so solid and monumental.
“Thank you,” Morgan replied. “I see you went with the pale blue dress. Good choice.”
Chelsea did a mock curtsey. “It was a toss-up when you ordered me three gorgeous gowns. This was Nolan’s favorite, so the choice was obvious.”
“Before we start mingling and dancing,” Nolan chimed in, “I want to address the proverbial elephant that will be in the room tonight.”
Morgan turned her attention to Nolan and the poor guy’s smile had faltered. Clearly he was embarrassed or uncomfortable at the latest findings, but there was no need to be. Heath was responsible for his own decisions.
“My brother—”
“I already know,” Morgan assured him. “There are no hard feelings from me. Heath wanted to hold on to anything that was your mother’s and I can understand that.”
Chelsea wrapped an arm around Nolan’s waist. The bond these two had was undeniable. They had overcome so many obstacles to be together and Morgan wondered just how they managed to be so strong.
“I feel I should apologize for his actions,” Nolan added. “But that’s not my place.”
“No, it’s not,” Morgan agreed. “Is he coming tonight?”
Nolan shrugged. “I doubt it. He’s pretty angry and frustrated and likely trying to plan his next steps. He wouldn’t be in the mood for a party.”
Morgan also imagined he wouldn’t want to be in a room surrounded by Grandins and Lattimores. Yes, Heath wanted to honor his late mother and sister. It was hard to completely fault a guy for defending his mother. Still, he’d angered several people.
But Morgan had her own issues and Heath wasn’t one of them right now.
“Nolan, would you care if I stole my sister for just a moment?” she asked. “I promise I won’t keep her long.”
“Of course.”
Nolan kissed Chelsea on the cheek and stepped away, leaving them somewhat alone...save for the other guests mingling. Morgan motioned for Chelsea to follow and led her toward a corner of the room where they could have a little privacy.
“Something wrong?” Chelsea asked. “The baby?”
“No, no. Everything is fine. Well, with the baby. I just... I’m so confused.”
Chelsea’s brows drew together as she reached for Morgan’s hand. “Is it Ryan?”
Morgan chewed the inside of her cheek and nodded. She would not get emotional here. Not only did her makeup look amazing for tonight, she really didn’t want to have a meltdown in the middle of a festive holiday party.
“How did you know when you were in love?” Morgan whispered. She was glad she finally had a close relationship with her older sister to be able to ask this.
Chelsea’s brows rose and a wide grin spread across her face. “The fact that you’re even asking me that gives me so much hope. I love you and Ryan together.”
Morgan glanced around to make sure no partygoers were within earshot.
From the looks of things, the Royal elite had turned up.
Most of the ladies wore dresses that she had ordered through her shop.
From golds, to reds, to silvers...there was such a fun variety and they all looked so stunning among the twinkle lights, garlands and rustic lanterns suspended from the ceiling.
The entire ballroom had been transformed into a winter wonderland.
“Has he said he loves you?” Chelsea asked.
Morgan shifted her attention back to her sister.
“Oh, no. I’m just... I’ve got these feelings that are all over the place and I can’t tell if I just have pregnancy hormones or if there’s something more going on.
But he opened up about his childhood, drove me around the ranch.
He decorated my bedroom with a Christmas tree, and even put up lights and wreaths on his house so I’d feel at home during the holidays. ”
Chelsea sighed and squeezed Morgan’s hands.
“Honey, that man has fallen for you. Maybe he’s too stubborn to admit it or maybe he hasn’t figured it out himself, but that’s love.
Putting someone else’s needs ahead of yours to make sure they are happy is the very definition.
Relationships aren’t fifty-fifty. They’re one hundred-one hundred.
Both parties have to put in their full effort for it to work.
So if you’re having feelings for him, tell him. ”
The thought of revealing her heart and exposing such a vulnerable piece of herself seemed much more intimate than sex.
What if she told him and he didn’t feel the same?
He still wanted marriage, so what then? She’d still be trapped in a loveless marriage.
No, this scenario would be much worse. A one-sided marriage would be a disaster.
“I don’t know if I can do it,” Morgan admitted.
Her sister released her hands and took a step back.
“What? The Morgan I know isn’t afraid of anything.
You started an upscale boutique in the middle of a town full of ranchers and you’ve made it one of the most profitable businesses in the area.
You’re tackling this pregnancy like a champ and you’re no-nonsense.
So why are you letting your emotions control you? ”
Morgan wrinkled her nose. “Because I don’t like failing and I don’t like rejection. What can I say? I’m human.”
Chelsea’s brows rose. “From the way Ryan has been staring this way, I think you might be surprised at his reply when you tell him the truth.”
She’d be more surprised if he reciprocated her feelings.
Before she said anything, though, she had to make one hundred percent sure she could trust her emotions.
She had to be certain because not only did she not want to be hurt, she also didn’t want to play with Ryan’s heart.
He might claim he wasn’t looking for love, but what if. ..
“Thanks,” Morgan told her sister. “I don’t know what I’m going to do, but I feel better. Now, let’s concentrate on your big day. I’m glad it’s soon because my boobs are already swelling and I don’t know how much longer my dress will fit.”
Chelsea rolled her eyes. “You have such problems. You will look gorgeous and if you need the dress adjusted any, I have my seamstress on hand.”
Hopefully it wouldn’t come to that because Morgan didn’t want to have to explain the sudden weight gain.
Her sister gestured with her champagne flute as her focus shifted over Morgan’s shoulder. “Looks like your guy is coming this way.”
“He’s not my guy.”
Chelsea merely smirked. Okay, maybe right now Ryan was her guy. She just really wished she knew an actual label to put on this type of unique relationship they had.
“Ladies, you both look beautiful.”
Chelsea smiled at Ryan, then glanced to Morgan.
“I appreciate that, though I have a feeling you had already seen my sister before you arrived.”
Ryan’s naughty grin gave him away and Morgan found her nerves unsettling.
How could he do that? A simple smile and the way he could tip his head to one side as if to silently proclaim his innocence took a special skill.
..and Ryan appeared to have them all. He held so much power over her and he likely had no clue, which was just another reason that exposing her heart could be damaging.
And where would that leave them? They were bound together by a child forever and the last thing Morgan wanted was tension or animosity.
“I’ll leave you two alone,” Chelsea told them. “I need to find my fiancé.”
Once she was gone, Ryan turned toward Morgan.
“Everything okay?” he asked, still keeping his distance.
Morgan forced herself to perk up and be cheerful. She definitely didn’t want to start rumors or detract from her sister’s big day coming up. Chelsea and Nolan had been through so much to make it to this point and Morgan wanted the entire experience to be absolutely perfect.
“Everything is great,” she replied. Then movement just behind Ryan caught her attention. “Oh, there’s Vic and Aubrey. I hadn’t seen them yet.”
“I want a dance with you before the night is over,” he told her.
Morgan started to open her mouth, but he held up a hand.
“Nobody will think anything of it after the way we were kissing at the Masquerade Ball. We’ll just dance, though. Nothing more, but it will be damn hard to keep my hands in an appropriate position.”
There he went again with those sexy words that put instant images inside her mind. She’d only just arrived, but she was already counting down to when they would be back home alone.
Home.
Ryan’s place felt like home, but for how long?
Damn it. She was in real trouble here.