Chapter Twenty
Twenty
Morgan hadn’t been back to the ranch in three days.
She’d ignored Ryan’s calls and texts, and thankfully he hadn’t stopped in to her store.
She had needed time to process everything that had happened, not that she thought she’d get over him in a few days.
But she’d needed space to gather her thoughts before she approached him again.
She’d gone back to living at the family ranch and working all day at her business and realized just how empty her life was without Ryan.
No shared dinners or fun flirting followed by a night of passion.
There was no deep conversations that made her heart feel so alive.
Even with her parents’ support, the nights were still quiet.
The silence seemed to mock her decision to tell Ryan her true feelings.
Had she said nothing and just agreed to marry him, she’d still have him.
That wouldn’t have been fair to either of them, though. She had never settled for anything in life, and refused to let her marriage be the first. Clearly, Ryan was still hell-bent on having his nuptials mean little more than a business deal.
This new chapter was something she was just going to have to get used to and deal with the best way she knew how.
Living without Ryan would be her new normal.
Even though she had only been at the ranch three weeks, that had been long enough to get her hopes up and make her want a real life with Ryan and not something out of obligation.
Unfortunately, she had to go back to the ranch to get her things. There was no way around it and she couldn’t avoid Ryan forever. They were having a child and they’d just have to figure out how to get along.
And that was how she found herself sitting in her car, staring up at the Christmas lights dotting all the peaks and porches of Ryan’s home. She’d been so happy and surprised the day he’d done that. The joy from that memory was now overshadowed by the pain of the loss.
She just wanted to get this all over with and go back to her house.
Morgan stepped from her car and pulled her jacket tighter around her. Supposedly there was a storm moving in...snow, of all things. That was just absurd in this area of Texas, but at this point, a freak snowstorm was the least of her worries.
The frigid wind cut right through her as she headed toward the front door and rang the bell. How silly was that? Just days ago this had been her home, a place where she’d envisioned living the rest of her life, yet now she stood outside ringing the bell because she was just a guest.
The foyer light flicked on and a moment later, Ryan opened the door. He didn’t appear surprised to see her. If anything, he looked miserable.
“There’s no need to ring the damn bell,” he grumbled. “Come in.”
Morgan stepped inside and took notice of his appearance. Messy hair, wrinkled tee, jeans, no shoes. He was still typical Ryan, but this version seemed sadder and frustrated. Well, welcome to the club.
“I just need to gather my things. I have quite a bit, so I can get a load now and come back tomorrow and finish,” she informed him. “I don’t want to be in your way.”
She would not ask for his help. She didn’t want him in her bedroom touching her stuff and packing like she was just going on a trip. She was leaving...for good.
“In my way?” he scoffed. “You’ve been in my way for months. You’re in my head, in my space, you’re everywhere in my damn house even when you aren’t physically here.”
Morgan blinked at his harsh tone, but remained still. Clearly, he was irritated, but right now she couldn’t tell if it was at her or himself.
“Don’t move out.”
She jerked, knowing she’d heard him wrong because they’d already been over this. She’d told him she loved him and he didn’t reciprocate the feelings. Sticking around now would only prolong the pain and the inevitable.
“Give this more time,” he told her. “Give us more time.”
“For what?” she countered. “We are at opposite ends of the emotional spectrum and the gap is too large to meet in the middle. Neither of us should settle for something we don’t want.”
When he stood there staring, the silence became too much, and Morgan shifted around him to head up the stairs. There was no point in dragging this out any longer than necessary. The pain wouldn’t be erased in a day and they both just needed time.
The most important thing now would be to put the baby’s foundation first. Morgan’s broken heart and whatever Ryan was dealing with would just have to take a step back.
Morgan reached the bedroom she’d started out in before moving to Ryan’s. Her clothes and personal belongings were still in the spare room.
As soon as she opened the door, there stood that damn tree. Why did every memory here have to be so amazing and wonderful? Why did he have to leave such an impression on her heart? Because she knew deep down that he’d ruined her for absolutely everyone else.
The sooner she got her things, the sooner she could leave. Staying here and traveling down memory lane would only hurt her further.
She stared at all of her makeup and brushes on the vanity and pulled in a deep breath.
“I don’t want to meet in the middle.”
Morgan glanced to the doorway, where Ryan seemed to fill up the entire space.
“What?” she asked.
“You said the gap was too large for us to meet in the middle,” he clarified. “I don’t want to be in the middle. I want to be on the other side...with you.”
Tired and more than frustrated, Morgan sank down onto her plush vanity stool. She rested her elbow on the counter and rubbed her head as she tried to gather her thoughts and make sense of how they got here.
“I don’t even know what you’re trying to say,” she told him. “How can you be with me when you don’t love me? I told you I wouldn’t settle and I meant it.”
Ryan stepped forward and bent down to look her in the eye, resting his hands on her thighs. His gaze held hers and she’d never seen such raw emotion staring back at her as she did right now.
“I don’t want you to settle,” he explained. “It wasn’t fair for me to ask you to or just assume you would.”
What was he trying to say? She didn’t want to get her hopes up, not again, but there was that spark of hope igniting inside her. She didn’t want to say anything. She needed to let him guide this conversation.
“These past few days have been hell,” he went on.
“Do you know how damn lonely this house was without you? All of these Christmas decorations seemed so cheerful and all I could think of was how much you loved them. You loved from the beginning with your whole heart and I never saw it. I’m not sure you saw it either until recently.
But that’s who you are, Morgan. You just shine with love and you showed me that it’s okay to open my heart again. ”
Tears pricked her eyes as her throat clogged with emotions.
“What are you saying?” she whispered.
He shifted onto one knee and pulled something from his pocket. A box.
Her heart clenched as she gasped.
“Marry me,” he said as he lifted the lid to reveal a stunning diamond with smaller stones along the band. “I’ve had this since the day after you told me about the baby, but the timing was never right. Now is the time.”
Why did life have to be so cruel? This hurt more than walking away. To know she could have it all right now if she said yes, but she wouldn’t really have it all...would she?
“I’m still not settling,” she reminded him. “We’re obviously both miserable, but that doesn’t change the fact I fell in love with you, Ryan.”
“I fell in love with you, too.”
Morgan stilled. “What?”
Tears gathered in his eyes as well, and her heart flipped over in her chest. This was truly happening for her—for them.
“I fell in love with you,” he repeated. “Maybe that first night we were together, maybe when you told me about the baby, or maybe when I hung those damn lights on the house. I don’t know when it happened because I was too afraid to admit it to myself, let alone you.
But being here without you was a hell of a lot worse than exposing my vulnerability and taking this risk. ”
He took the ring from the box and lifted her hand. His eyes met hers once again.
“I’m asking you to marry me now for all the right reasons.
” He slid the ring on, and held her hand and sniffled, obviously trying to hold back his own emotions.
“I’m asking you because we love each other, because we have a child who deserves the best home, and because I want to build something bigger here with you than either of us ever imagined.
I know you might find my words difficult to believe, but I wouldn’t fight so hard if I didn’t love you so damn much. ”
Morgan laughed as tears slid down her cheeks. She glanced to the ring that fit so perfectly and looked exactly like something she would choose.
“Yes,” she told him. “I want to build everything with you from here on out.”
Ryan let out a sigh and reached for her, wrapping his arms around her and resting his forehead against hers.
“I thought I had ruined everything,” he whispered. “I can’t handle the thought of you not with me forever. It scared the hell out of me.”
Yeah, this man definitely loved her and three days of misery was worth the lesson they’d both learned.
Morgan framed his face with her hands and eased back to stare him in the eyes. “I guess we have more to announce to the town than just our baby.”
Ryan smiled, then covered her lips with his for a brief kiss.
“What do you say we make our announcement at the New Year’s Eve ball?” he suggested. “Since we’re known for our public statements.”
Morgan couldn’t help but laugh. “I love that idea and I love you.”
He nipped her lips once again. “Love you more. We might be stubborn and butt heads, but there’s nobody else I’d want to do that with than you.”
Morgan knew deep in her heart this was just the beginning of that grand dynasty Ryan wanted for his family. Day one of the rest of their lives had a beautiful ring to it.