CHAPTER 7
***
Annie
My heart is heavy, as if a weight’s been placed on my chest. It aches, pounding sluggishly as if every beat takes extra effort. A deep, sinking feeling drags me down as disappointment pools in my gut.
The room with its spacious windows and open sky, suddenly feels small and empty. I stare at the bedroom door. Sam couldn’t wait to get as far away from me as possible. His sudden retreat only confirms what I’ve feared all along—my feelings for him are one-sided. I’m just ordinary Annie, the girl-next-door who’s good enough to be his best friend, but never the one he’d want on his arm or in his bed.
I swallow hard, pushing back the tears threatening to spill over. I thought this trip could be the chance to finally bridge the gap between us, but all I’ve done is complicate matters. I’ve been a fool to think there could ever be something more.
There’s no use moping about things. Sam staked out the boundaries, and I won’t push them any further. I force myself to get dressed, pulling on jeans and a sweater. I open the door, ready to face everyone, including Sam. I breathe in the smell of cinnamon and sugar drifting up from downstairs, and my stomach growls. There’s nothing like comfort food to make a girl feel better.
Julia and Hannah’s voices lilt through the great room from the kitchen, their idle chatter cheery and animated.
“Morning, Annie,” Hannah says as I pad into the room.
“Oh, hey,” Julia says, turning her head toward the door. “Grab a cup and join us. Plates are in the cupboard to the right of the sink.”
I move to the counter, grabbing a mug and a cinnamon roll covered in thick icing, then join them at the table. The heavenly aromas do little to lift my spirits, but they do offer a much needed distraction. Gary tips his coffee cup back and scoots his chair away from the table.
“Morning, Annie.” He gives me a cheerful nod. “I guess I should get outside so you ladies can talk about us men behind our backs.” Gary chuckles, amused with himself. He places a kiss on Hannah’s forehead. I manage a small smile and nod as Gary excuses himself. “The boys are out gathering firewood. Figured I’d give them a head start so I can save my strength for our jaunt to Winslow Farm later.”
The table falls quiet, but as soon as the front door clicks shut, Julia leans in, eyes gleaming with mischief. “Sam couldn’t take his eyes off you last night. Every time you spoke, he just lit up,” she says with a grin.
“He did?” I stuff a bite of cinnamon roll in my mouth, but the taste feels muted and bland like I’ve lost my sense of taste.
Julia hasn’t a clue what a horrible friend and employee I am to have lied my way into this weekend with her and her friends.
“Oh, honey. That boy’s got it bad,” Hannah nods her head. “You’ve got him wrapped around your finger, whether you realize it or not.”
“You think so?” I choke on my bite and quickly wash it down with a sip of coffee.
“It’s obvious he’s smitten with you,” Hannah grins. “I bet he proposes by New Year.”
I choke on my coffee, sputtering as it catches and tickles in my throat. I grab a napkin and cover my mouth as tears sting at the corners of my eyes. Both women stare at me concerned, but I wave the coughing off as something trivial.
It’s true that Sam loves me, but not in the way she presumes. There will be no proposal in my future from Sam or anyone else for that matter.
“I can’t believe you’ve kept him a secret at the office.” Julia holds her mug with both hands and takes a thoughtful sip. Her brow furrows briefly as if trying to figure something out, like our ruse or that her marketing assistant is a bold faced liar of the worst kind. She sets her mug down, her expression serious. “Speaking of work. There’s something I’ve been meaning to discuss with you.”
My stomach drops, and I force a smile, hiding the sudden wave of anxiety flooding my nervous system’s motherboard. “Sure, what’s up??
Julia takes a deep breath, glancing briefly at Hanna before focusing back on me. “Ryan and I have been thinking a lot about our future, and after some serious consideration, we’ve decided it’s time for a change. We’re selling the business.”
The words hit me like a ton of bricks, and for a moment, I can’t breathe. I blink, processing what she’s said and what that means for me and my livelihood. “You’re—selling the business?” I echo, my voice barely above a whisper.
“Isn’t this exciting?” Hannah reaches across the table and squeezes Julia’s hand in a reassuring gesture.
Julia nods, her expression softening from serious to one of empathy. “Yes, we’ve decided to retire early and take some time to travel, see the world while we’re still young enough to enjoy it.”
“Doesn’t that sound lovely?” Hannah’s shoulders drop as she sighs. “You deserve this.”
“Traveling is something we’ve dreamed about for years.” Julia glances at Hannah, a relieved smile tipping the corners of her mouth. “We’ve worked out the numbers, spoken to an attorney, and have drawn up legal papers to make it happen.”
I manage a weak smile, though my mind is spinning like a kite in an unfriendly wind. “That sounds—wonderful,” I manage the words, but they’re hollow as I speak them.
The reality of the situation hits me like a slow moving locomotive, barreling over me, and leaving me numb. Julia dragged me up here knowing I’d be trapped when she delivered the bad news. Nothing good can come from any of this—at least not for me. What happens to my job? My career? Not to mention the damage this trip has done to my friendship with Sam.
Julia reaches across the table and places a comforting hand on mine, much like Hannah did with her a few moments ago. As if some weird circle of comforting solidarity can unite us after the bombshell she’s just dropped.
“I know this is a lot to take in, but I want you to know that Ryan and I are committed to making this transition as smooth as possible for everyone,” Julia says, but despite her reassurance, a gnawing fear grips my gut. “You’ve been such an integral part of the team, Annie. That’s part of why I wanted to tell you here, away from the office.”
I keep a brave face, though I’m falling apart inside. This week’s starting out disastrously.
“Tell the poor girl before she has a heart attack,” Hannah prods, as if she can sense the panic attack building inside me.
“There’s more,” Julia says, her tone careful, as if she’s treading on delicate ground. Her eyes search mine for an indication of what I’m thinking, but even I’m at a loss at what to think or feel. I want to be happy for Julia and Ryan, but I’m terrified about what this means in the long term for me. “I discussed an opportunity with a friend of mine who runs a tech company in New York. I thought you’d be perfect to manage their sales and marketing department. It’s a great position, and I know you’d excel there.”
My heart sinks further. The thought of leaving everything and everyone behind to start over in New York only adds to the turmoil. But before I can make sense of anything, Julia continues.
“She’s available for a video call this week if you’re interested in the position.” Julia glances at Hannah for a moment. Hannah’s face brightens as she nods her head encouragingly. “The internet is spotty here, but I checked around town and there are several businesses that offer access to their internet.”
“Move to New York?” My breath catches in my throat as the room spins.
I never imagined something like this, not in my wildest dreams. But along with the excitement comes an overwhelming sense of pressure. Am I ready for something this big? And what about Sam? What does this mean for our friendship, for everything that’s happened—or hasn’t happened—between us?
And what happens when Julia finds out the whole relationship that she and Ryan have seen between Sam and I is the biggest lie of them all?
“Of course, there’s no rush to make a decision. This is a big commitment and only you know if it’s something you want,” Julia says, her voice warm and encouraging—something I don’t deserve with the charade I’ve been leading. “No matter what you decide, you’ll land on your feet.”
Of all the times I need Sam’s strength, now is it. I wish more than anything I could lean on him for advice. But deep down, I know that this decision could change everything—not just for my career, but for my entire life. As much as I want to embrace opportunity, the thought of taking such a huge leap is terrifying.
The sound of boots stomping on the front porch echoes through the wood flooring into the kitchen. Sam will step through that door any minute. I need time to let Julia’s offer settle before I even think about mentioning it to Sam. Will he be relieved if I choose to take a job in New York?
“Thank you for the recommendation,” I say, my voice steady despite the storm of emotions rumbling inside me. “I really appreciate this, Julia. I’ll definitely think about it.”
***
Sam
I brush the snow off my jacket and move toward the kitchen. My pulse quickens, my heart pounding against my ribs. Each beat echoes in my ears, drowning out the flood of thoughts racing through my mind. Fear gnaws at my gut. The thought of losing Annie as a friend terrifies me, but the idea of never taking a chance at something more with her is even worse.
As soon as I step inside the kitchen, Annie turns toward the doorway and our eyes lock, hers wide and distant, a million miles away. She’s usually the light in the room, always a smile for me. This is all my fault for pushing her away and running off like a fool this morning. I want to wrap her in my arms and open my heart to her. I’ve always been able to tell her anything, except for how lost I feel without her.
“Annie, I—” My breath catches in my throat.
“Sam, I—” Annie says at the same time. Something in her expression causes my chest to tighten. She rests a hand on my arm as her eyes dart around the room. “I need to talk to you in private,” she whispers. “It’s important.”
My heart sinks. “You go first.”
But before she can respond the room erupts with activity. Julia and Hannah straighten the kitchen, placing dishes in the sink while carrying on a conversation that’s little more than white noise. Ryan and Gary’s laughter echoes from the living room and I catch snippets of words, but the words I want to hear are Annie’s.
“Our sleigh ride to Winslow Farm is here.” Ryan’s voice booms from behind me.
As activity swirls around us, Annie’s expression softens, disappointment flickering in them. She bites her lower lip, and my chest tightens.
“We’ll talk later tonight after everyone’s called it a night.” I give Annie a small, reluctant nod, acknowledging our bad timing. Her gaze lingers on mine, and for a second, everything else fades away—the noise, the rush, the day ahead. But I know we have to let our talk go, at least for now. The uncertainty of what hangs in the air between us clings to the back of my mind.
We pile into the horse-drawn sleigh bundled up under thick blankets, gliding smoothly through the snow with bells jingling to the rhythmic clop of hooves. Snowflakes drift gently from the sky, landing on our lashes, noses, and cheeks. Annie and I huddle close for warmth as the cold crisp air nips at our faces.
The simple act of being near her with our shoulders brushing and her familiar scent filling the gap between us, brings a sense of comfort and hope I can’t quite put into words. Despite the unspoken words that linger between us, being here reinforces what I know in my heart. We’re right for each other. By her side is where I’m meant to be.
“I can’t wait to see the ice skating pond,” Julia says, her eyes twinkling as she snuggles next to Ryan. “I heard it’s like something from a fairytale, surrounded by pine trees and twinkling lights.”
“Sounds magical,” Hannah agrees, pulling her scarf tighter around her neck. Gary wraps an arm around her shoulders and pulls her into his side. They’re a natural fit, like Annie and me. “Don’t forget Santa’s Workshop. I’ve always wanted to make my own Christmas ornaments. It’ll be like we’re kids again.”
Hannah grins at Gary, her eyes playful and young. She tilts her chin and kisses his lips in a show of affection that’s genuine and heartwarming.
“Anything your heart desires, my love.” Gary grins, his breath puffing out in little clouds of steam. “I’m looking forward to the grub. The brochure mentioned they have the best sugar cookies in the entire state. They’ve won multiple blue ribbons at the state fair. I’m planning on eating my weight in cookies today.”
“Ooh. I’m saving room for hot chocolate piled high with whipped cream.” Julia scrunches her shoulders and closes her eyes as she breathes in a long anticipatory breath.
“I’ve heard their Santa is the real deal. Some say there’s actual magic at play on the farm.” Ryan chuckles and gives Julia a peck on the temple. “Make your wishes to Santa count. No sense in tempting fate.”
“Oh, we’re much too old for Santa’s lap,” Julia snickers.
“But you’re not too old for mine,” Ryan quips back, causing everyone to laugh.
I want Annie and I to be just like them when we’re older and have been together as many years as they have. Annie shifts beside me, her shoulder brushing against mine under the blanket. She glances at me, her eyes meeting mine for a brief moment as if she’s read my thoughts. She quietly slips her hand over my thigh and links her pinky with mine as she did last night and a thousand times before that. It’s a gesture that grounds me, a silent promise between us that no matter what’s going on, we’ve got each other.
I gently squeeze her pinky with mine, letting her know I’m here for her, even when things are complicated and unspoken. The connection between us is small but powerful, renewing my confidence that once this day is through, Annie and I won’t have to pretend we’re a couple anymore.