Chapter 13 – Beau
BEAU
Christmas evening everyone comes to my parents’ house for dinner.
Mom has a ham in the oven and she and all the aunts are milling around the kitchen, cooking and shooing out anyone that comes in to ask when it will be ready.
We had a chill morning opening presents and then went to brunch at my mom’s parents’ house.
Tonight, it’s Dad’s family that is crammed into our living room.
I’m sitting right in the center of my uncles and cousins. It’s chaos, not that I’ve really noticed, though. I’m in another world completely.
I can’t stop thinking about Stella and the fight at the resort with her brother and teammates.
I never should have showed up like that.
Never should have gotten involved period, but Stella and I feel as unavoidable as snow in the mountains.
Maybe if I’d never responded to those first texts, if I hadn’t gotten to know her.
But now it kills me to even think about not seeing her.
And about the problems I’ve caused for her.
She sent a text this morning, but I haven’t caved and opened it until now.
Stella
Merry Christmas!
She’s all smiles in the picture, holding up a cat with a red bow stuck on top of its white head. I stare at it for several seconds before closing out with a groan. The first time I fall for a girl, and it had to be her.
“Food is ready,” Mom says, wiping her forehead with the back of her hand.
Everyone jumps to their feet like the past couple of days haven’t been one big meal after another. I’m not even hungry, but I fall into the back of the line and fill a plate with a little of everything.
The kids are shooed outside. We have a couple of outdoor heaters going to keep the space warm, but I don’t mind the nip of cold in the air. Still feels balmy after spending so much time in Colorado. I take a seat next to one of my younger cousins, Scottie.
“When do you have to go back?” he asks, mouth full of potatoes.
“One more week.”
He nods. “Think you might have time to practice with me?”
The tips of his ears are pink.
“Yeah, definitely. How’s football going?”
“Okay. I’m starting quarterback this year.”
“I hadn’t heard, man. That’s awesome.”
“I’m not really that good. Not like you.”
I chuckle softly. “I wasn’t always this good.”
He shoots me a disbelieving side glance.
“I’m serious,” I say. “Ask anyone. I was about a foot shorter than everyone else, weighed ninety pounds soaking wet, and had two left feet. It’s just time and practice.”
He shoves a forkful of mashed potatoes in his mouth. “So, you’ll help me?”
My phone buzzes in my pocket. I rest my plate on one knee as I shift to get it.
Stella
Busy? I have five minutes before my family makes me play another board game.
Me
Call me.
“Yeah, kid. How about this weekend? Saturday?”
He thinks for a minute, as if he’s mentally scrolling through his personal calendar. “That’ll work.”
I tap the bill of his hat when I stand. “I’ll swing by and pick you up around noon.”
I finish off what’s left of my food on the way to the kitchen.
My mom and aunts are still standing around, triple-checking things, refusing to eat until everyone else has had seconds.
I fend off their attempts to get me to eat more because “they don’t want leftovers,” drop my plate, and head for my room.
Stella calls as I’m jogging up the last step.
“Hey,” I answer, smiling when her face appears on screen. “Merry Christmas.”
“Merry Christmas!” She pans the camera down to show me her sweatshirt, which reads, ‘Buzz, your girlfriend is Woof!’
“I’m wearing red. Does that count as festive?” I point to the Cardinals hat on my head.
“No.” She laughs. “Is your family still over?”
“Yeah.”
I can read the disappointment on her face.
“It’ll be an early night. What’s your family up to?”
“We were playing board games, but then Teddy showed up to surprise Holly.”
“That’s nice.” Something aches in my chest.
“He brought her a tree.” She waits for me to react. “Like a Christmas tree. A real one because she was sad that we only had a fake one this year.”
“That’s . . . damn, that’s romantic as hell.” It occurs to me I’ve never bought a girl a Christmas gift. Not a real present. The cheeseburger I sent Stella suddenly doesn’t feel so romantic. I might suck at this whole being a boyfriend thing. What a shitty realization.
“Right?” Her laughter cuts off, but she continues to smile. “Can you meet up in an hour or two?”
I swallow, pulse thrumming in my ears. I’m dying to see her again, to hang out, to kiss her.
Of course, I am, but I have this sinking feeling that I’m making things worse for her instead of better.
Also, I don’t really feel like getting hit again.
In the end, my desire to see her outweighs everything else. “Yeah. I’d love that.”
We head to a restaurant and bar roughly halfway between our houses. I get there first and then she pulls up in a Jeep and parks next to me. We both get out and meet at the back of her vehicle.
She’s still wearing her Home Alone sweatshirt, paired with jeans and tall boots that add a couple inches to her height.
“Hi.” She hesitates and then steps forward and hugs me.
I squeeze her tightly and then lift her off the ground, gaining a laugh out of her and easing the tension.
When I set her down, Stella rubs at her arms. “It’s cold out. Do you want to go in?”
“Not really,” I say. “I was thinking we could take a drive.”
“Okay. Yeah, that sounds fun.”
She gets in my car, or my dad’s, since mine is parked in a lot in Colorado, and I take off toward familiar roads. It’s quiet out tonight, most people home with their families.
I fiddle with the radio, almost every station is playing holiday music, so I unlock my phone and hand it to her. “You want to pick some music?”
She takes the device, staring down at it for a beat before she answers, “Absolutely. A person’s phone is filled with all sorts of interesting secrets and details.”
I chuckle. “Oh yeah? What exactly does my phone tell you about me that you don’t already know?”
“Well, Spotify tells me that you recently listened to Mad Beats and Sick Workout Mix, so I’m guessing you mostly use the app when you’re working out.” She cocks a brow in question.
“That’s true.”
She puts on the Mad Beats playlist and then laughs when the heavy beat vibrates the seats.
“Not really a Mad Beats kind of vibe right now,” she says as she quickly changes it.
“Aaron is always putting together new playlists for our gym sessions.”
“Oh my gosh, Beau. You have over a thousand unopened emails!” Her eyes widen as she swipes through the apps on my phone. She groans. “You are one of those people who doesn’t clear their notifications.”
“Is that bad?”
“I have to clear my notifications or it makes me crazy.”
“I think that says more about you than me,” I tease, resting one hand on top of the steering wheel and moving the other to the gear shift.
She sets my phone in the middle console and angles her body toward mine, then takes my hand closest to hers and laces our fingers together.
I bring our joined hands to my lips and kiss the tips of her fingers. “How was your Christmas?”
“Good,” she says cheerily, then a little more somberly adds, “A little weird. Felix and I aren’t really speaking.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. He’s being unreasonable.”
My fingers squeeze the steering wheel a little tighter.
“Why didn’t you tell me that you were the one who injured Garrison?”
“I don’t know. Actually, that’s not true. I thought you’d take their side. I wouldn’t even blame you for it.”
I glance over in time to see her nod slowly. “I watched it. I saw the play.”
“I didn’t mean to hurt him. I’d never do something like that on purpose . . .” I trail off, not sure what else to say.
A quiet beat falls between us. Stella speaks first. “You know, the funny thing is I think you and Felix have a lot in common.”
“Because we both play football?”
“Not just that. You’re both super competitive and extremely loyal. And you both deal with a lot of pressure from your family and teams. I’ve read articles about you. Your coaches and teammates all mention your work ethic and dedication.”
“That’s PR fluff. I work hard because if I don’t, I’m letting a lot of people down. I don’t have any choice but to be dedicated. We practice and lift every day, twice a day in the pre-season. We get January off, but February we’re back on the field. You know what it’s like being a D1 athlete.”
“You say it like it’s a burden.”
“You don’t feel that way?” I ask.
“No. I love it. I wish someone expected more of me.”
“What do you mean?”
“Not all collegiate sports get the same respect as football. You guys are gods on campus. NFL players are celebrities. Can you name one gold medal diver?”
“Uh . . . no, but I’ve got a hot prediction for you.” I wave my hand through the air. “Stella Walters, gold in the next summer games.”
She smiles through an eye roll. “See?”
“I’m sorry.”
“It’s fine. I get it, but don’t misunderstand that pressure. It means people care. A lot of people would love to have that care and attention aimed at them.”
I hadn’t really thought about it like that. Does it make it easier to take the criticism from my dad? No. But I get what she’s saying.
I pull into a residential neighborhood that’s decked out in lights. Each house is lit up, a couple even have it synced to music.
“This is amazing. You should see our house. Dad and Felix go all out every year. It’s full-on Clark Griswold.”
“And this isn’t?” I point a thumb toward the brightest house.
“It definitely is. I love it.”
I stop at the end of the cul-de-sac and pop open the glove box. “I got you something.”
“You did?” Her mouth curves into a smile.
I hand her the small, badly wrapped present. “It isn’t a Christmas tree.”
“That Teddy, he did good.” She runs a finger over the paper. “Should I open it now?”
“Yeah. If you want.”
“I want.” She tears into it with so much eagerness I wish it were something a lot more romantic.
She pulls out the black Colorado football beanie, still smiling, and puts it on.
“Just something silly. I have an identical one back at school.”
“I love it.” She touches the soft material on her head. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” I clear my throat, feeling a little embarrassed. Now that I’ve given it to her, it seems dumb. It isn’t like she’s ever going to wear it. Her brother might burn the damn thing.
“I love it, really,” she says. “And I got something for you too.”
“All I want for Christmas is you.”
She laughs and cuts me a could you be more ridiculous glance.
“I know, I know. Cheesy but accurate, baby.”
Stella pulls an envelope out of her purse and hands it to me. On the front is my name written in red and green alternating letters. I turn it over and rip the seal, then pull out two tickets.
“I know it’s a long shot that you’ll have time off, but conference diving championships are in February. If you can make it work, it’d be so fun to see you there. I can probably get you a Valley U beanie like this one.” She points to the hat on her head.
My lips curl at the corners and I lean forward, brushing my lips against hers. “If at all possible, I’ll be there.”
I lean back and tap the tickets on the wheel and then put them back in the envelope. “Does your family go to your meets?”
“Some of them, not all. They’ll all be there for the championships, though.”
I’m still holding the envelope, a mixture of emotions swirling in my gut, when I ask, “Does your brother know you invited me?”
“No.”
“Baby . . .”
“It will be fine,” she insists, shifting closer to me. Her fingers thread through my hair and she brings her lips to mine.
I kiss her back, deepening it and giving her everything I have and then some. I like her. I like her a whole lot.
I don’t have the same certainty about the future and navigating things with Felix and her family, but we’re not going to solve anything tonight, so we might as well enjoy our time together.