Chapter 18 – Stella
STELLA
The next day, I drive back to Valley alone. Holly decided to ride with Teddy, and they left early this morning. I predict this semester I’m going to see a lot less of my twin in our shared dorm room.
I waited until after ten, hoping I’d be able to see Beau one last time before I left, but when he finally texted me back this morning, it was to say he was practicing with Scottie and wasn’t sure what time he’d be done.
Saying goodbye sucks. I think I’m going to drive back tomorrow and see him off at the airport. It’s a lot of driving for a short amount of time, but I already miss him.
When I get back to Valley, I head straight to my brother’s to help set up for the party later tonight.
I knock and then walk through the front door. Holly and Teddy are on one end of the couch, Lucas the other.
“Hey, Stella,” Lucas calls when he sees me.
“Hi.” I give a small wave to everyone. Felix is standing in the kitchen, drinking a protein shake. He nods his welcome. We’re still not in agreement about Beau, but we stayed up late last night playing video games and talking until the weirdness between us faded.
I really, really like Beau. I’m not willing to give him up, but I don’t want to keep fighting with my brother, either.
“I thought the place would already be decked out for tonight,” I say, taking a seat in the empty armchair.
“We’re picking up the keg later,” Lucas says.
“Wait, this is it?” Holly asks, voice rising in disbelief. “What about decorations?”
The guys share a confused look.
“Oh my gosh, you need decorations!” She throws her hands up in the air.
The guys laugh, but fifteen minutes later, the five of us are hanging up streamers and blowing up balloons.
It takes very little to get Lucas excited about the prospect of decorating.
He and Holly take the lead, Teddy follows Holly, of course.
I don’t know how she ever didn’t see how crazy he is about her.
I find myself alone with Felix as he picks up the kitchen and goes through their liquor stash to figure out what they still need to buy.
“Are you expecting a lot of people tonight?” I ask as I sit on a stool in front of the counter.
He nods as he places a dusty handle of Wild Turkey in front of me. “A decent number of guys on the team are back, so I expect we’ll have a good turnout.”
“I got you something.” I slide off the stool and go to my purse to retrieve the gifts I got him. I hand him the leather key chain with his name and football number on it first. “Sorry, I didn’t have time to wrap it.”
“Thank you. This is awesome.”
“I also got you this.”
One corner of his mouth lifts as I set down the beaded shot glass necklace. He puts it around his neck and turns on the flashing neon light. “Thank you, Stell.”
He takes it off and sets it on the counter next to the liquor.
“Beau helped me pick both of them out.”
He avoids my gaze as he asks, “Did you see him before you left?”
“No. He was helping his younger cousin practice some football drills this morning. I’m going to drive up tomorrow and see him off at the airport.”
He nods slowly and then braces both hands on the granite between us. “I’m sorry about how everything went down this break. I know you were hoping we were going to be BFFs.”
“I didn’t hope that.”
One of my brother’s dark brows lifts.
“Okay, I kind of did. I thought if you got to know him, you’d see what a decent guy he really is, but you wouldn’t even give him a chance.”
“I heard him out.”
“Not really.”
“Sure, I did. He told me that he cared about you and that he wanted to squash all the bullshit for you.”
I squirm with the squishy way those words make me feel as well as the scrutiny in Felix’s gaze. “I care about him too.”
“It’s hard to explain, but I’m just leery of the guy, okay? I can’t help it. I can’t magically erase every bad thing I’ve ever heard or thought just because you say he’s all right.”
“No, I understand.”
“You do?”
“I think your view of him is incredibly surface-level, but sure, I can see how Beau comes off as a guy you wouldn’t want me to date.” And yeah, knowing Beau better, I can see why Felix had the initial reaction he did, but those things aren’t all that Beau is.
I can tell I’ve caught my brother by surprise, so I keep going.
“He feels a lot of pressure from his family to succeed, and I think that’s why he comes off as reckless on the field.
They look at him as the chance none of them ever had and he doesn’t want to let them down.
It wears on him. But, Felix, that’s such a small part of who he is.
Just like you being a great quarterback is a fraction of who you are.
“Beau is funny and sweet. He’s the kind of guy who plays football with his young cousin and his friends, just to make their day, and the kind of guy who sends cheeseburgers instead of flowers because he gets me.
” I realize I’m basically pleading with him to see Beau in a different light (which is highly unlikely), but I can’t stop.
“And I get him too, which is why I’m asking you to just consider that maybe there’s more to him than you think.
And if that doesn’t work, then know this, I am crazy about him.
More than crazy. I love him. It isn’t some crush that is going to fade in a few weeks.
“But I hate that things are weird between us. You’re my favorite big brother.”
His mouth twists as he nods. He wraps one arm around my neck, and I hug his middle. “Me too. I’m sorry. I will try to wrap my brain around him not being a terrible human.”
The others come in from outside and the moment is broken, but hopefully, he’ll think about what I said. For now, though, it’s time to get this party set up.
After we finish decorating the guys’ house for tonight, they head out to pick up the keg and more liquor, and Holly and I go back to our dorm room to get ready.
“What’s Beau doing tonight?” Holly asks as she curls my hair.
“He’s going to dinner with his family and then to a party at some guy’s house from high school.”
She meets my stare in the mirror and gives me a sad smile. “I’m sorry. It has to suck not being able to spend his last night in Arizona together.”
“Tonight will be fun.” I put on my brightest smile. “I can’t imagine not being here for Felix’s birthday. Beau and I are going to FaceTime when it gets close to midnight, and then I’m going to crash, so I can drive back early tomorrow morning and see him before he flies back to Colorado.”
“That’s sweet. I want to meet him sometime.”
“You do?”
“Yeah, of course. I’ve told you that before.”
“Right, but that was before.”
“I still want to meet him. I didn’t push over break because I knew you were enjoying alone time you never get.”
“Plus, you were busy making out with Teddy.”
A blush creeps up her neck. “And that.”
“Did you two make it official? Is Theodore your boyfriend?”
She nods and a proud smile stretches across her face. “Yep. I can’t believe it.”
“Well, I can. You’re great and he’s always been crazy about you.”
“It’s still so weird.” She shakes her head. “I’m so happy.”
“Me too,” I say. And I am. Mostly.
Three hours later, I’m sitting in the dining room at Felix’s house. I’m more of an observer of the party than a participant, but since everyone is in that happy tipsy state, I’m practically invisible.
Me
Maybe I should just come up tonight? I doubt anyone will miss me.
Beau
You know that isn’t true. What’s Holly doing?
I glance around the room. Holly and Teddy are on the makeshift dance floor in the living room. Teddy has one big, possessive paw on her hip, and Holly has been smiling for so long, I think her face is permanently stuck like that now.
I don’t know where Felix went. Probably outside. There’s a group out there playing washers.
Me
Dancing with Teddy.
Beau
Go dance! You love to dance. But tell Moore to back off my girl.
I laugh and then a pang of sadness hits me in the gut. I already miss him so much.
Me
I miss you.
He replies with a selfie of him making an actual frowny face and then another text.
Beau
Go have fun, baby. I’ll call you at 11:59.
For the next two hours, I do just that. My twin is smiling so big as she and Teddy shout the lyrics to a Taylor Swift song to each other. Adorable.
But another pang of sadness hits me that Beau isn’t here.
I try to brush it off. So, we won’t be together, at least I’ll get to ring in the new year with him.
The reality is, if we’re going to be together, it’s going to be like this—talking on the phone, texting, FaceTiming through important events.
I wonder how much a plane ticket is to Colorado?
I sashay off the dance floor and pull my phone from the bust of my dress.
I’m checking the driving distance to get to Beau, in case I want to take a spontaneous road trip to visit him at college next semester, when I spot Felix near the front door.
He’s surprisingly sober for it being his birthday, but he is holding a fifth of Jack in one hand, so I’d say he’s aiming to take care of that.
He beckons me with a tip of his head.
“Hey,” I say, letting out a long breath and looking around. More people than I expected showed up tonight and his small house is packed. “Some party. It’s almost a new year. Any resolutions?”
“Yeah.” He runs a hand through his hair, leaving the dark strands sticking up. “A few. You?”
Before I can answer, someone yells, “Five minutes!”
My phone buzzes in my hand at the same time Felix says, “Can you get the door?”
“The door?” I glance down at the screen of my phone, not surprised at all that it’s Beau calling.
“I think the doorbell just rang.”
“I didn’t even know you had a doorbell,” I yell, but the noise level has escalated as everyone prepares to ring in the new year. I walk toward it and as I’m opening it, I say, “Wait. Why am I opening your door? You live here.”
He shrugs, and with an eye roll, I look to the other side of the open door.
My breath catches and then my stomach does several somersaults. My boyfriend stands on the other side. His face lights up, which makes my stomach do another flip.
“Beau?”
His smile dims slightly as he looks past me to where Felix stands. I glance between them and my excitement quickly dissolves. Oh no. I can see the drama about to unfold, just like at the resort. Why is Beau here, and how do I get us out of here before shit goes down?
Beau doesn’t make a move to come inside, and Felix holds his ground. I take a step toward my boyfriend.
I’m not sure what I expect him to do, but he wraps an arm around my waist casually like him showing up is no big deal, and says, “Hey, baby.”