Chapter 14
It’s been four weeks since we found out that the woman our dad is dating is Keoni’s mom. That same night, they told us he had proposed to her. While I was hurt, for a moment, that he hadn’t asked Alysa and me for our blessing, I got over it quickly enough.
My sister went into crisis mode with her best friend, but now that she’s come to terms with Keoni being off the market, she’s far too excited about the idea of having a stepbrother.
Dad is so happy—and he absolutely deserves to be.
I think I’m more conflicted about the fact that today is move-in day for both of them.
Leilani had been in the process of selling her townhouse here in Denver and renting out her apartment in Boulder.
Moving into our home made the most sense.
We have a spare room for Keoni, and far more space according to Dad.
After school, Alysa and I came home to a moving van and the white SUV that belongs to our soon-to-be stepmom. It all feels so fast, but for them, it’s been over a year in the making.
I couldn’t be happier for the two of them—even if part of me is sad that I can’t explore whatever feelings I was having about Keoni.
Am having.
It’s a strange ache in my chest knowing whatever could have happened, can’t now.
Watching my soon-to-be-stepbrother jump down from the back of the truck with a box as wide as his shoulders, the fabric of his shirt straining across his defined back, has me swallowing down my self-pity.
The draw I have to him only solidified my earlier feelings on my sexuality. That I was into both boys and girls.
I confessed to Alysa a few weeks ago I felt attracted to both, and she quite literally said, “Oh, I already knew that.” As if it were so freaking obvious.
“Something caught your eye, Ayden?” Keoni asks with a deep chuckle.
I suck in a sharp breath that immediately turns into a coughing fit. Doubling over, I practically hack up an invisible ball of shame for being caught staring.
Feet approach and stop just inches from my own. Lifting my chin, I find Keoni, a gentle smile on his face. At least, I think that’s what I’d call it. It’s soft, almost out of place on someone who looks as big and powerful as he does. I don’t think I’ve ever seen it anywhere but now.
At games or practice, his expression is either stoic or edged with that cocky grin that always seems to lace his lips.
“Need some water, righty?”
A loud smack lands square on my back, sending me stumbling forward with a yelp. Pain shoots through me, and before I can catch myself, I slam straight into Keoni. Our chests press together like we’re hugging—though we definitely aren’t.
He’s at least four or five inches taller, maybe more, and I tip my head back to meet his gaze.
Before I can even process whatever’s happening in our stare-down, Alysa leaps onto my back, forcing me even closer to him.
“Do you need help, Keoni?”
He smells so good…
Before I can make a fool of myself and say something like that inner thought out loud, I take a step back and thrust my sister off. She’s graceful, landing on her feet and doing a twirl.
“I’ve got it. Plus, your dad paid for the movers.”
“Ah, you’ll be soon saying our dad.”
I’m not sure how I keep the groan from slipping past my lips, but I do. This is great… so great…
Keoni hums. “Yeah, true. That’ll take some getting used to.”
Suddenly, a hand brushes through my hair. When I realize it’s him fixing the mess Alysa made from her attack, I instinctively hold my breath.
“Coming to the game Saturday?” There’s a Varsity only game against a junior college here in Denver. The JV team was offered to go watch, but the cheer team wasn’t.
Now, I guess I could go as a friend… or family…
“I’ve got a big test on Tuesday,” I groan. “I don’t know why I tested into AP math.”
“I’ll help.”
“I’ll help!” Alysa says simultaneously with Keoni, but hers is extremely aggressive. “We should go!”
“Kids! Come on, you’re in the way of the movers!” our dad says from inside the house.
I take a step away from him and smile. “Alright, well, if you two promise to help me study, I’m in.”
“You got it.”
My twin wraps one arm around him and I and lifts herself up. “Onward, brothers! We can show you to your new room.”
I release a sigh and look past her to Keoni. The smile he holds on his face slips into a sad one with the curve of his thick eyebrows.
“Yeah… sounds good.” His sad tone is how my heart feels.
Jeez. Why does this hurt so much?
Age 14
“So, how’s it feel to be God’s favorite?” I can tell in Amber’s tone she’s agitated, but it isn’t like we chose this.
I can promise I sure as heck didn’t.
It barely took a week before rumors started to spread. The front of our school is where most people got dropped off, and suddenly, Alysa, Keoni, and I were showing up together. Real subtle.
“Wouldn’t that make me, like, the devil’s favorite? Forbidden fruit, Amber,” my twin says through a frustrated groan. “I can’t flirt with my soon to be stepbrother. It’s freaking torture.”
Mandy leans against my shoulder, staying quiet. She doesn’t have interest in Keoni—or at least, not as much as she has in me. It’s Amber who’s been nonstop annoying about the whole thing. I think even the football team is sick of her; I’ve overheard a few complaints.
Crossing my legs, I lean forward to pack away my notes and textbooks.
JV practice ended about thirty minutes ago and I’m exhausted.
Not from that exactly—I’ve just been doing too much lately.
My own practice and games, then staying late to watch the Varsity team, for obvious reasons.
Both their practices and games, it’s all starting to catch up to me.
But it isn’t just physical exhaustion. There’s this strange, emotional tiredness I’m not used to. It’s hard to explain—as though I’m not being myself or maybe like I’m constantly pushing my feelings down. It’s draining.
The sound of shuffling pulls me out of my head. When I look up, a group of JV players are breaking apart, their quarterback slamming a ball between his hands.
“Have you seen him naked?”
“Amber!! That is so wildly inappropriate!” I don’t know who shouts at her, but it isn’t Alysa or Mandy.
“What I wouldn’t give—”
“Enough, you’re being disgusting.” Now that’s my sister. “Keep that stuff locked in your head. Don’t disrespect him like that…”
I narrow my gaze up at Jason, said quarterback. He’s popping his head back and forth, eyes trained right at Amber. As they shout at one another, he aims the football right at the back of her head.
I really should just let it hit her. She deserves it.
But stupidly, I shout, “Get down!”
I’m just shifting to my knee when she does exactly as I say. The ball slams into the track turf in the middle of our circle. It hits tip-first and ricochets straight into my face.
At least, I think it does. The throbbing pulse in my nose and left eye tells me that’s the case.
Noise erupts. From shouting to the shuffling around me, too many hands grabbing at me. I drag in a sharp breath, tasting asphalt and rubber from the track below.
“Get away from him!” Keoni’s voice breaks through all the chaos.
“Ouch,” I hiss through clenched teeth as I start to shift onto my elbow, finally getting some relief from the crowd pressing in on me.
“You’re lucky, Jason.” Keo’s voice is getting closer, but no less angry.
“Watch it, Keoni! It was a fucking accident!”
“Yeah, and so will me breaking your arm.”
The sound of a loud whistle blares and I suck in a sharp breath.
“Enough!” I’m certain that was the Varsity coach.
The taste of iron on my lips makes me shut my mouth, but it’s too late, I’ve already tasted blood.
A strong, firm grip at the back of my head helps me sit up. My left eye struggles to open, but I can clearly see Keoni kneeling in front of me, Alysa to my right.
“Holy shit!” she screams before turning around. “What the hell, Jason?! You ASSHOLE!”
“I said it was an accident!!”
“I’m alright.” I struggle through the obvious lie. I’m starting to feel a little dizzy.
“I wasn’t aiming for him, I swear! I was trying to hit Amber!”
“And that makes it any better?!”
Everything just silences when Keoni pulls off his shirt, bunching it up into a ball, and places it over my nose. “Put your head back, Ayden.”
I’m upset that I can’t smell right now. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t wish I could get even the hint of his bodywash. It’s like coconut butter on a rainy day.
Doing as he says, I tilt my chin to the sky just as he helps me up. His arm wraps around my back, sliding under my arm, and he hoists me to my feet. I’m glad he doesn’t try to carry me—I’m fully capable of walking.
But I’m not mad that he doesn’t let me go. I drape my arm over his neck, keeping my head tilted back, yet from the corner of my eye, I glance at him.
“I’ll take you to the nurse.” He pulls me closer before shooting a look I can only describe as hateful over our shoulders. I don’t know who it’s directed toward, but if I had to venture a guess, it’s probably Jason.
We walk quickly, though I can feel him easing the weight from my steps, which I suppose I appreciate. I don’t feel faint, but since he hasn’t asked, I’m not going to share that piece of information.
Selfishly, I like it right here. Leaned against him with his arm around me, his other holding his shirt against my face.
Instead of leading me to the school nurse’s station, he guides me through the locker room to the sports doctor’s office. At the sharp right, he pushes the door open.
“Oh crap, Keoni. Is that Ayden?” Dr. Johnson says. The sound of a clipboard being placed down on wood is accompanied by rushing feet. “What happened?
“He got knocked with a football. His nose may be broken.”
“Naah,” I say, though the word fumbles out without much confidence.
I’m moved to sit, and as Keoni takes the back of my head, he slowly removes his shirt. It tugs slightly at my skin, and I bite back a groan.
Dr. Johnson leans forward toward my face, and that has Keoni stepping aside. “Looks like it got you in the eye too. That was a hard throw. Was it direct?”
“No, but Jason wasn’t far, and it looked like he threw it at full power. Saw the entire thing, and I’ll be making sure his coach knows exactly what happened.”
My heart skyrockets at the irritation in his tone.
Johnson walks away as Keoni steps out of view. I want to ask him to stay, but I’m not about to voice that. It would sound too weird to ask him not to leave. Maybe even needy?
Hah… ugh…
A body suddenly reappears in front of me, causing me to jump on the soft cushion under me. “I said, head back,” Keo murmurs. “It’ll help stop the bleeding quicker.” As he steps between my spread legs, his hand comes under my chin, and with a wet cloth starts cleaning off my lips.
“That could get him in trouble, maybe even suspended,” Johnson says from somewhere else in the room. “Big game this weekend, that could—”
“I don’t care.” He rises to his full height, and I keep my eyes locked on his amber ones. “I’m reporting it.”
When he takes the cool cloth away, he folds it in one hand while keeping my chin firm in his grip. Then he presses it gently against my nose, leans to the side, and grabs my wrist, guiding my hand up to hold it in place.
“Thanks…”
He offers a sad smile.
I don’t understand at first, that is, until he says, “What’re brothers for?”
Brothers…
Is it possible for a heart to break but still beat?