Chapter 37
“Listen, are we at this point in our relationship?”
I glance at the blonde in the passenger seat, then at the other one in the back. How I ended up with these two driving me to Denver is beyond me.
“Oh, we absolutely are,” Britt says with a mischievous laugh.
“Totally. Plus, I’d like to pick up a few things too.” Calista’s cheeky smile makes me chuckle before I turn back around.
We just spent the last three hours going over paperwork with my legal team.
Feels weird to say it like that, but there are about seven of them.
Cal has been a divine being through it all—a fucking angel.
I’m grateful for her connections, even if she admitted how hard it is to be back in that space after everything with her mom.
The events with her and Ronan? Shit, it was like something straight out of that show CSI or Bones. Absolutely insane.
I’m grateful I was able to get in front of a judge today—and that the temporary protection order against Michael was approved. It blocks all contact: in person, calls, social media, everything. They even issued an arrest warrant, so if he crosses into Colorado, he can be detained immediately.
It makes me feel safer than I have in weeks—and grateful for the people around me. I know this process usually drags on forever, but Cal pulled every string she had, and the turnaround was lightning fast.
“I’m not a prude so don’t take this as that, but I’ve never been into one of these stores with anyone. I usually come alone.”
Britt gasps, turning to me as we stop at a red light. “Have you never had girl-friends?”
“I’ve had friends that were girls—the gays, the straights, the theys—but no one’s ever offered to take me to a sex shop.” That’s not entirely true, but I don’t want to say that even when someone had, I would decline.
Michael never thought it was appropriate. He saw this kind of thing as unfaithful.
Even if he was the cheater.
The fucking asshole.
“Well, you’re in for a treat.” Britt giggles.
At the next turn, we pull up in front of Bonny Bunny, which is exactly what I expect an adult store to look like—discreet but obvious, somehow managing both. It’s honestly impressive.
A tan building on the corner, floor to roof black-out window with a neon light, and a sign that says ‘Open 24 Hours’.
I chuckle to myself as I hop out of the Jeep. Cal falls in beside me from the back seat, and Britt joins us as we head inside.
The second we step through the door, it’s sensory overload. Leather and silicone dominate the air, underscored by a faint hint of rose.
The bell above the door dings—and as if on cue, my phone buzzes in my pocket. My heart flips, kicking around my chest like it’s grown feet, giddy and restless.
Keo
How did it go? Sorry I didn’t text sooner, had an incident to handle
Before you ask, I’m fine
Reading my mind, I like that
Don’t apologize. It went great. Judge granted the temp order, no questions
Thank god. There was enough evidence against him.
How’re you feeling?
It’s supposed to snow tonight
I heard. Not surprising, it’s fucking cold
I’m good
I hold back from saying ‘I miss you’ because that’s crazy. It’s been two days, and I get to see him this evening. Don’t be weird, Ayden.
I’m with Britt and Cal
We stopped at Bonny Bunny’s adult store in Denver
Should I have asked permission to come here with them? I know that’s just my anxiety talking, but for a second I can’t shake the worry he’s going to be upset.
Which is stupid because Keoni isn’t Michael.
Keo
Color me jealous, I’d love to see your face turn red while shopping. We should go back together.
Pick up some lube that’s good for you
And whatever else you’d like to try out
Ugh, now I’m hard
Pics or it didn’t happen
I’m thinking of rope since you talk about binding me
Fuck. Me.
*picture attached*
Sure enough, even over his thick fireman pants, I can see the outlining of his cock.
I bite on my cheek and hit save.
Keo
Let Britt know that our therapy session is going to be quick
I’m fucking that ass of yours tonight
Promise?
Yeah, promise
See you tonight, sunshine
I’ll see you tonight, baby
*gif attached*
I let out a light laugh at the image. It’s Leonardo DiCaprio in The Wolf of Wall Street, biting his knuckle.
For some reason, I’ve been wanting to call him that. Baby. I just wasn’t sure if he’d be into it. He calls me sunshine, yeah, but I didn’t know if he would want to be called a pet name. Judging by that reaction, though, he likes it.
I’ll test it out later.
“You done drooling over your stepbrother?”
My gaze snaps up to Britt, who’s standing right beside Cal. “Brittany!”
Calista looks up from the glass butt plug in her hand and glances between us. I brace for disgust to cloud her soft expression—but it doesn’t.
Instead, she lifts the toy and asks, “Have either of you used glass before? I’ve heard it’s great for sensory play. You can freeze it or heat it in hot water.”
I blink a few times, then shake my head. “No…”
“Me neither,” Britt chimes in. “But all my boyfriends have been vanilla as fuck, so honestly not super surprising.”
“Mine too, before Ronan.”
“You don’t care?” The question slips out before I can stop it, struck dumb by how easily she brushes it off.
Calista takes a deep breath and sets the glass plug down before shaking her head. “Technically, Ronan was my step-uncle when we started dating.”
I must have missed that part in her retelling of what happened with her mom.
“It’s not illegal. And you and Keoni aren’t technically stepbrothers anymore.
” She glares over at the other blonde. “Britt, you and Genevieve would be best friends with how you tease him… with the step-family fucking and all.” She says it playfully, and we all burst out laughing.
“Plus, Ayden, honey, I knew he was more than a ‘stepbrother’ the second you told me you were living with him.”
As we move down the aisle, I glance at the rows of lubricant. “How so?”
She giggles. “Because the day we met, when you said who you were living with… the way you answered was guilty, like you were ashamed of something. And you shouldn’t have been. Love is love.”
“Ugh, I’d just like for someone to like me,” Britt groans.
“What about Taylor? Are you two—”
“No… I mean, I don’t know.” She sighs, then blurts, “Yes, to answer your burning question—we fucked in your bed, Ayden. Sorry.”
I wasn’t even questioning that, but if she needs to get it off her chest, I’ll let her.
“I’ve just never dated a woman, and she’s great, but… I like dick.” Cal and I both start laughing as Britt adds, “Just not what they’re attached to.”
That sends us over the edge, bent double with the force of our laughter.
“No offense, Ayden.”
A strange mix of happiness and sadness swells inside me. The tears stinging my eyes are easy enough to disguise as laughter, but holy shit—I haven’t felt this good since high school.
Michael stole so many years of my life. If not for my father’s death, I’d still be trapped there.
I shouldn’t even think about being grateful for that loss…
but as I look at these two women laughing with me in a sex shop, holding toys like it’s the most natural thing in the world, I can’t help but be.
That has to make me a terrible person. Doesn’t it?
After taking our time down every aisle, we checked out and made the hour-long drive back to Maple Falls. We dropped Cal off before heading to Wildhart, where Britt and I stayed until Keoni got home.
I could tell he was tired. He tried to brush off his session with her, but Britt wouldn’t let him. I’m glad she pushes him to do this. Both of us need this type of outlet, and we are going to do it together.
I’m scrolling through SF News on my phone when the door finally opens an hour later, the last of the setting sun spilling into the living room. Keo lets out a heavy sigh, kicks off his boots, and hangs up his coat.
It would be stupid to ask how it went. His face tells me enough to know it didn’t go well.
I’m honestly terrified to broach the subject again as to why he’s in therapy. I’m not entirely sure why I am, I just am. It couldn’t be worse than my own reasons, but still. Hopefully one day, he’ll just tell me.
When he catches me staring, he forces a lopsided smile.
I give him a full one, hoping to coax his into something more. It doesn’t work.
“I may be breaking a promise tonight.” His voice is low as he walks slowly toward me. It has me sitting up straighter. “Sorry.”
I’m not sure what promise he means. “It’s okay?” I ask my question carefully, hoping it’s enough to make him explain without me having to press.
He moves directly in front of me and drops gracefully to his knees. For someone like Keoni—who seems like the very definition of strength—to look as if he’s about to crumble into a million pieces, honestly stabs me right in the heart.
As he spreads my legs, he leans forward, resting his head on my stomach, causing me to lean back against the cushion. Both his arms wrap around me, and he just falls into holding me.
He doesn’t say a word, and as I brush my fingers through his hair, he shuts his eyes.
We sit like that for some time, Clover joining us after a few minutes to curl up beside us. She licks Keoni’s nose, as if reminding him she’s there. As if either of us could forget that cat.
Only after the sun disappears and the cabin is shrouded in darkness does he shift.
“Life sucks sometimes.”
I almost laugh. “It does.”
“If I could turn my brain off… god, what a day that would be.”
I hum and run my hand across the back of his neck, fingers rubbing at his hairline. The gentle drag of my nails across his scalp makes him let out a soft groan—not sexual, just contented.
“Do you… want to talk about it?” I ask cautiously.
He buries his face in my lower abdomen. “Not really.”
Exhaling through my nose, I gather his hair into my hands and twist it into a loose bun, tucking the end to hold it. “Alright. Just know I’m here if you want to.”
He lifts his amber gaze to meet mine. His full lips that are set in a frown, slowly begin to curl into a smile.
“Thanks, sunshine.”
I really like that nickname.
“Do you want dinner?”
As he leans back, I can see the dread that had clung to him after his session with Britt begin to wash away.
He slides his hands to my hips, slowly dragging me across the couch cushion.
When our hips meet, his hand rests lightly at the side of my neck, his chin tilted down so his gaze stays locked on mine.
“Yes…” He pauses, and I narrow my eyes in question. “You’ll be just okay eating and cuddling on the couch to watch a movie tonight?”
The question throws me off. “Uh… that sounds like a dream.”
He shifts slightly, a flicker of discomfort passing across his features. “Nothing after that. Just… going to bed.”
It takes me far longer than it should to process, and suddenly I feel like the dumb one.
I think back to our text exchange from earlier.
“I may be breaking a promise tonight.”
Instead of making jokes—or anything that might make it seem like I want more—I just let my smile grow.
“Weren’t you the one who said we have a lifetime together of filth, tears, and everything in between?”
That earns a wide grin from him. “I said plenty of time, but a lifetime…” He hums sweetly. “A lifetime sounds far better.”
Heat floods my face, and I lean into his chest to hide the shame of literally saying out loud that I hope this lasts our lifetime.
He doesn’t let me stay hidden. Pushing me back gently, he drags his thumb under my jaw and across my cheek. “Far better, Ayden.” His lips brush mine in a fleeting kiss. “Thank you for helping me out of that.”
“What?”
“The darkness. I’m glad I don’t have to face it alone anymore.”
I stretch up, pressing my mouth to his. I want to be that for him—the light he needs in that darkness of his. While he is my strength when I feel weak.
And yes… for our lifetime, and wherever we go after.