Chapter 44
FORTY-FOUR
My fingers twitch and my heart races as Silas parks next to his old truck at the cabin. I’m still riding the high from punching that fuckwit Ashton in the face like he deserved… But there’s been something else scratching the back of my mind the past couple days.
And now… I know I want it.
With each step I take after Silas as I follow him into the cabin, my courage builds. And the second the door is shut behind us, it just comes out.
“I want you to fuck me.”
Jesus Christ.
How do I install a filter on myself?
Silas whips around with wide eyes. “What?”
Mine are just as wide as I stare back at him. But… we’re here now. I said it. There’s no taking it back. And really, I don’t want to.
I want him to fuck me.
The thought has been creeping in lately every time I catch myself watching him, and I keep pushing it down and ignoring it. But it’s only become louder and harder to ignore. Especially with all the adrenaline pumping through me after tonight.
I slowly nod and pull in a breath. “Alright, so I could have said that better, but…” I step towards him and slide my hands around his waist. “I’ve been thinking about it, and… I do. I think… no, I know I want it. If you do.”
His eyes flick between mine as he stands as stiff as a board. “Have you… did you ever…” he trails off, looking hopeful I’ll get what he’s trying to ask.
And I can’t help but chuckle and give him a small shake to loosen him up a bit.
“Have anything in my ass?” I ask.
He just shrugs one shoulder with a small nod.
“No,” I say simply.
His brows lift. “And you want it now?”
“I do,” I say, as the need only rises with absolute certainty. “I want you, Silas. Everything about you. All of you, in every way.”
Silas’s hands lift to my back, and heat seems to spread through me at the touch.
“You sure?” he asks.
“Positive,” I say, the word coming out breathier than I intended.
He pulls me closer, and his lips meet mine. I wrap my arms around him as he holds me tight, and our kiss quickly turns heated. My tongue slides against his as his hands slip under my shirt, and soft moans and groans escape us.
We stay locked in our kiss, stripping our clothes as we stumble our way towards the bedroom, and my heart pounds the entire time with anticipation of what we’re about to do.
And I desperately want it. I need it.
I need Silas in every way I can get him. I need him to touch me, kiss me, make me—
“Fuck.” I suddenly pull away from him as my heart sinks. “We need lube.”
Silas’s brow furrows. “Well… I have some.”
A rush of emotions suddenly slams into me. Relief and excitement mix with jealousy and unease as my eyes narrow on him. “Why do you have lube?”
The corner of his lips twitches. “Because I’m a guy and it feels good?”
It takes me a moment to realize what he means.
Oh… shit.
My gaze drops immediately to his hard cock, the image of his lubed hand wrapped around it flashing through my head. I look back up at him as a sly smile spreads across my lips. “Have you ever used it while thinking about me?”
He just smirks back at me.
Jesus.
I pull him down onto the bed on top of me, my hands landing on his ass as I grind him against my hard cock and groan against his lips. Everything between us turns frantic and needy as our hands roam, our cocks slide against each other, and I kiss him with a desperation I can’t contain.
“Get the lube,” I pant, pushing him back.
He chuckles and leans over to the bedside table, opening the drawer and digging around until he finds it.
He holds it in his hand as he looks down at me, and for a moment, it’s obvious neither of us knows exactly how to do this.
I reach out and take the lube as my heart pounds. I may not know exactly what I’m doing, but I know what my body wants… and that’s enough to just fucking go for it. I flip the cap open and pour some onto his fingers, his eyes locked on mine while his chest rises and falls with heavy breaths.
I toss the lube aside and meet his eyes, guiding his hand down to my ass.
He holds my gaze for a beat before dropping it to his hand, and presses his lubed fingers to my hole.
A warm sensation rolls through me at the touch, and I release a moan as he rubs his finger over me. I slide my hand up his arm, feeling the flex of his muscles as he moves, and anticipation quickly builds. If there was even a hint of doubt in me before, it’s now gone.
“That feels good,” I breathe, shifting my leg wider as I let myself sink into the sensation.
He shifts closer to lie next to me, and I see and feel the same need in him that’s in me.
I grip his arm and let my eyes close as he continues to work his finger over my hole, and my entire body gives into the incredible feeling.
But my eyes open as he presses his finger firmly against my hole and meets my gaze, waiting for me to tell him what I want.
And fuck do I want it.
I nod and tighten my grip on his arm. “Yes.”
His finger slowly pushes into me, and I grunt against the intrusive feeling. The pressure immediately makes my muscles tense, and Silas slows, but I shake my head.
“Keep going,” I pant.
He hesitates for a moment, but then slowly continues to push his finger inside me. I wince at the intense stretch until suddenly… fuck.
Fuck.
That feels fucking good.
My hand lifts to grab the back of his head, and I slam my mouth against his as my cock throbs and a new kind of pleasure spreads through me.
Silas slowly slides his finger in and out of me as I kiss him, and the feeling of his tongue against mine, his finger in my ass, his hard cock pressed against my hip… oh my god.
Just… oh my fucking god.
It feels so fucking good. Pleasure is flowing through me with every thrust of his finger inside me, and with each one, I just want more. I need more.
“Another,” I murmur against his lips.
He doesn’t even hesitate as he slowly slides a second finger into me, this time feeling easier as the pressure shifts into something that has me rocking my hips and moaning into his mouth.
His finger brushes over a spot inside me that has a loud groan ripping out of my chest, and my hand flies to Silas’s hair as a surge of heat travels up my spine.
“Oh my god,” I grunt as he does it again, and he pulls back from my lips to watch me.
I feel like I’m coming apart under his hands and eyes, as my breath gets away from me, warmth radiates through my pelvis, and I feel like I’m going to fucking lose it.
He keeps going, thrusting his fingers in and out of my ass, stroking that spot inside me, and stretching me out in a way that I never thought would feel this good.
And when Silas pulls his bottom lip between his teeth, watching me with that intense look of need in his eyes, I can’t wait any longer.
“Get a condom,” I pant, gently nudging his chest to get one.
But he stills, and his eyes widen.
“I don’t have any,” he says.
Fuck.
For as much as I wanted this, I was not fucking prepared.
I groan and rub a hand over my face. Then I squint at him.
“Have you been checked, since…” I roll my eyes with a frustrated breath, the reminder of him being with someone else hitting hard, especially with his fingers still in my ass, “you were with… Bell?”
His fingers slide out of me slowly as a small smirk pulls at his lips, and I shoot him a look for taking the good feeling away.
“Yeah. I’m all good,” he says.
Then he wraps his lubed fingers around his cock and slowly strokes himself.
“What about you?” he asks as he strokes himself again.
My eyes track the movement, and my cock twitches as my heart riots at the sight.
And it only thumps harder as I realize I haven’t been with anyone since I was last tested.
I drag my gaze away from his hand and nod. “Yeah. I’m all good.”
Silas smiles, then shifts back onto his knees and settles between my legs.
Oh my god.
Oh my god, this is happening.
I need to calm the fuck down.
But as Silas grabs the lube and spreads it down the length of his cock, I know there’s no fucking way that’s happening.
He swipes his lubed fingers over my hole as he glances back up at me with a question swirling in his eyes.
“Yes,” I immediately answer with a nod.
Fuck yes, I want this. I fucking need it, now.
He pulls in a breath and lets it out slowly as he shifts closer and lines the head of his cock up with my ass. Then he slowly pushes in.
My muscles tighten against the stretch, and my body feels like it wants to fight it.
But I breathe out and grip Silas’s arm as he watches my face closely.
I hold his gaze as I push past the discomfort until he’s all the way in.
The tension then gives way, replaced by a deep, full sensation that spreads through me, and my entire body feels fucking alive.
“You ok?” Silas breathes out.
I nod and drop my hands to his ass. “Fuck yeah,” I say, nudging his hips to urge him to move.
He pulls his hips back slowly, and a soft moan slips out of me as he pushes back in. He continues to move slowly and carefully as I adjust to the sensation, and the pressure eventually shifts into pleasure.
Intense fucking pleasure.
“Holy fuck,” I pant as he pushes into me again, and I drag my gaze down his body.
His abs flex with each slow thrust, and his hair falls over his forehead as he looks down to watch himself moving inside me while pulling his lower lip between his teeth.
Fuck, he’s hot.
I grab his shoulder and pull him down to crash our mouths together, pushing my tongue past his lips as my hands drag over his back, and I feel the movement of his muscles as his hips pick up speed.
My hand slides up to tangle in his hair, and I pull it hard enough to earn a grunt against my lips.
And he responds by thrusting harder and biting my lip.
Oh, fuck yeah.