Chapter 12
What the fuck happened?
I look down at my body, barely under the covers, and I’m wearing the same clothes as last night. My knuckles are covered in blood, and even though I don’t remember much, regret fills me instantly. My swollen eyes pan the room, and asleep on my floor in front of the door are Talon and Shaw.
Shaw’s back presses against the door while Talon curls into his chest. It doesn’t take me long to realize they are, in fact, barricading the door in case I decide to escape.
I was apparently in rare form last night.
My mouth feels like sandpaper, and my head throbs like the blasting beats of the music from last night.
I attempt to stand, but my vision swirls around the room like a tornado, causing me to crash to the ground with a loud thud.
My hands tremble, and I wipe my nose and mouth, feeling dried blood on my nostrils.
A wave of nausea settles into my core, making me wish I were wrapped around the toilet.
I’m going to throw up.
Talon and Shaw sit up immediately, as if someone has just screamed. I attempt to lift myself off the ground, but I’m weak and utterly miserable from my hangover.
They both stare at me, and from their expressions, annoyed is an understatement.
Beneath their eyes is a soft shade of purple, and their hair is disheveled, indicating it has been a long night for them as well.
I glance at Shaw and notice that the coloring under his eye is darker than Talon’s, and even from a distance, I can tell he has a fresh black eye.
Talon speaks, whipping the sleep from his eyes, “I hope you feel fucking awful.”
I lift my head and gag from the movement. My hair is a matted mess, my shirt is ripped, and I’m seconds away from throwing up on them—which wouldn’t help my case in the least. My knuckles throb in time with my head, and the room continues to spin as I stand.
“From the looks of it, Talon, she feels worse than awful.” Shaw stretches. “She probably feels as bad as my back from sleeping on the damn floor.”
I open my mouth to speak, then gag again.
“Yeah,” Talon laughs. “She feels bad.”
I rub my head and brace myself against the bedside table.
“Please. Stop. Talking.”
I stumble to the bathroom, using the doorframe to keep myself upright as I lean over the toilet. My mouth waters, but I can’t throw up, even though I’m desperate to. I would feel so much better if I could—another way this hangover is punishing me.
I sense someone approaching, and I lift my head from the toilet to see Shaw leaning against the doorframe.
“You punched me.” His hand massages his cheek. “Hard, I’ll add.” His voice echoes loudly in my mind, even though he whispers.
I glance down at my bruised knuckles and let the memory of us in the assessment replay in my mind. I think of Shaw before me, firing the gun directly toward my head, and the thought makes me more nauseous than I already am.
“Maybe you deserved it,” I manage to get out before lowering my head back into the toilet.
“Mara.” He leans down, rubbing my back as I dry heave into the bowl. “I would never intentionally hurt you.”
I hear my bed frame creak from Talon lying down, and my head throbs with each sound that surrounds me. I glance toward Shaw, his face soft and slightly bruised. Shaw has never given me a reason not to trust him. All of this is my own paranoia.
“I know.”
Shaw tilts his head. “Are you sure about that? Because last night you screamed at me for a good while.”
I can’t help but laugh, the chuckle escaping my throat instantly triggering another gag. Shaw laughs in response. My heart races, and a cold sweat sends shivers through my body.
“I haven’t taken that many shots since your thirtieth birthday,” I say, propping my arms on my knees as I sit against the wall.
I hear Talon shout from the other room, “Last night makes Shaw’s birthday seem like a church gathering.”
I massage my head and tip it back, letting the waves spin me around.
Last night feels as blurry as my vision right now, but flashes come back to me in pieces: Talon, shots, a random guy whose name I can’t remember, and alcohol.
So much alcohol. But the one thing that lingers in my mind is Crew and his intense stare, thinking he could get me down there.
Pathetic.
“Want to talk about it?” Shaw says.
I look at him. “Talk about what?”
Talon walks behind Shaw and raises his brows. “Talk about what the fuck happened? We went for a drink, Mara. And you drank the entire bar. I had to call Shaw to drag you out of that place.”
“I had too much to drink,” I say, casually. “I’ve seen both of you in that state.”
They laugh, and Talon shrugs. “Understatement of the year.”
But what I think they realize but won’t say is that I’m drowning, and I know they see it. I drank to forget everything—even myself—and I’d do it again.
“Thank you for getting me home. I’m sorry you had to barricade the door.” I glance between the two of them. “I don’t think I could have run even if I wanted to.”
Shaw looks at Talon before speaking. “When I got there, you and a guy were making out in the back, and he was trying to take you home. I practically had to pull you off him, and you slugged me.”
“Shit,” I lower my head.
“And of all people, Crew fucking Bannermin helped me get you off the floor before Shaw got there,” Talon says, grimacing. “It was quite the evening.”
“What?” I shout, triggering a wave of nausea. “Kill me, please.”
I slowly stand and make my way to the sink, gripping both sides of the porcelain to keep myself steady.
I look in the mirror: my hair is a tangled mess, my eyes are swollen and red, enhancing the blue of my irises, and my lips are cracked.
Black dried blood coats my nose and upper lip, and I glance at Shaw, who seems amused.
“Did you punch me back?” I ask, turning on the water to run for a moment.
He laughs sharply before making a pained face. “How the hell do you think I got you to go to sleep last night?”
I drop my head and turn off the sink, realizing a towel won’t suffice here. I remove my pants and shirt as Shaw walks past me, turning on the shower. The hot water begins to steam the room, and my cheeks instantly flush from the heat, causing another gag to leave my throat.
“I’m going to shower for an hour and crawl back in bed. I may never get out, so this may be the last time you two ever see me.” I bow in front of them naked. “Soak it all in, boys.”
Talon laughs and shakes his head, moving back into my bedroom.
I turn to step into the shower and let the scalding water pour over my body.
I fear that no matter how long I shower, I’ll still feel dirty for a few days.
I duck my head under the falling water and close my eyes.
I use both hands to brace myself from falling and drop my head.
It will be a long time before I can take a shot again without gagging.
Flashes of the previous night still enter my mind, and I do everything I can to keep myself busy in the shower to block them out—shampoo, scrub, then repeat until I feel clean.
Shaw’s tall frame walks to the glass, and I wipe the fogged surface.
“I know you want to crawl into bed, but I have bad news for you,” he says.
I squint my eyes and wipe the building fog once more. “What?”
“You’re due in Lowell’s office in thirty minutes. You get your first assignment today.” He scowls. “You need to hurry up.”
My stomach drops.
How the fuck did I forget?
“Shaw.” I turn off the water, grab a towel, and wrap it around me. “You have to stall him or get the meeting canceled.”
He angles his head. “Impossible.”
I know that would never happen. And even if Lowell knew my state, he would enjoy torturing me further, so I would have to die to get out of this meeting at this point.
I rush out of the shower and grab a few supplies to get ready.
The room spins as Shaw walks into the main part of the bedroom, opening the window to let in a cool morning breeze.
I slowly brush through my long hair and do what I can to make myself look alive after my night.
I dry my hair as best I can and walk into my bedroom.
Shaw sits on the bed beside Talon, and they whisper to each other as I walk to the closet to flip through clothes. I quickly slip into black pants and a black spandex top, then pull on my heavy lace boots. They continue to whisper to one another, and I whip around, narrowing my eyes at them.
“What are you two talking about?” I cross my arms.
Their lips form a thin line, and neither of them speaks for a second. Talon stands, walks across the room toward me, and kisses me on the forehead before leaving without another word. The door shuts softly behind him, and I turn my gaze back to Shaw.
He stands and exhales sharply. “You need to get going, Mara.”
“Not before you tell me,” I bite back. “I’m sick of things being weird. You are keeping me on the outs.”
He walks to my door and opens it to the hallway. “Carver Bannermin will be at this meeting with you and Lowell.”
Anger rises in my chest and mixes with the hangover surging through my system like a storm of nausea and fury. That is the last person I want to see right now.
“I can’t handle this.” I place my hand on my forehead and slowly rub my temples. “Next time I want to drink, punch me in the face before I’ve consumed the liquor.”
Shaw only stares at me, and I can tell he’s not finished telling me everything.
“You know what else that means?” he asks, stepping into the hallway.
Oh no.
I don’t move from my closet, and before he can speak again, I grab my smallest pistol, tucking it tightly into the band of my pants so it’s out of sight. I know exactly what else that means. Shaw doesn’t even need to say it.
Crew will also be there.