Chapter Six #3
I felt a stab of disappointment too. I don’t know why I should feel disheartened that he spoke to my sisters after me.
I shouldn’t want to be the only one he met with, and yet, I felt a burning in my belly that might have been jealousy.
I clenched my hands around the bedclothes and tried to put him out of my mind.
But I’d been trying to do that without success ever since I left him.
I even tried closing my eyes and remembering the way Gaz kissed me on the balcony.
I’d remember looking into his face, just a breath from mine, but I’d see blue-green eyes instead of Gaz’s darker ones.
“Do you have a sense of who he will choose tomorrow?” I asked my mother.
“No.” She sighed. “But it doesn’t matter. Lord Ashe and I have a plan.”
I cut my gaze to her and narrowed my eyes. “You had better be careful. The king values the honor of Earsleh above all else.”
“Do you think so? I’ve always considered adherence to principles of honor one of your faults, not his.”
That was a strange response. Before I could question her, she said, “What we have in mind is well within the rules. Rather, it is not expressly prohibited.”
“What does that mean?”
“It means”—she rose and indicated I should slide back down—“you can go to sleep because you will not have to fight tomorrow.” She tucked the covers around me as she had done when I was a child.
“But how can you be sure?”
She blew out the lamp. “Go to sleep, Mara. You know I will never allow anything to happen to you if I can prevent it.”
She slipped out of my room, closing the door behind her.
I did try and sleep, but I couldn’t seem to quiet my mind enough to do more than doze off briefly.
When my mother came to wake me the next morning, I was already up and dressed.
I’d donned a simple brown tunic and tight leggings.
They were comfortable enough to allow me free movement but tight enough so that they wouldn’t be in my way.
“Not that clothing,” my mother said, barely glancing at me.
“All of the princesses are wearing white.” She produced clothing similar to what I already wore and handed it to me.
“Put your hair in a flat bun and pull the hood over it,” she said.
“Then draw the face protector before we leave the house.”
I glanced at the tunic and realized, unlike the one I wore, it had a hood and a piece of cloth in the front that could be drawn over the lower part of the face and buttoned inside the hood.
I had a tunic like this I took with me on patrol if I was called during the worst parts of the dry season.
The mouth covering was useful when the wind was high and dust swirled in the air.
But we’d be in the arena, which was open-air, but unlikely to be filled with dust.
“Don’t ask questions,” my mother said. “Just do what I tell you. Hurry and dress. You need to eat something before we start for the arena—and do not say you cannot eat. I won’t have you feeling faint because your belly is empty.”
I dressed and stepped out into the common room, where my mother was arguing with Gaz. “Lady Aine,” he said, “I just need to speak to her for a moment.”
“One moment,” my mother said, pointing a finger at him. “Be quick and watch what you say. Mara, I will wait for you outside.” She stepped out of the house and closed the door with a bang.
“I’m sorry,” I said. “She’s nervous.”
Gaz moved closer and took my hands in his. “And you?”
“Nervous. I didn’t sleep much last night.”
“I wish I could be in the pit with you.”
The pit was an area level with the arena floor where we princesses would wait to be chosen—or not chosen.
“I wish you could be there too.” And I did.
I suddenly felt guilty for having thought so much of Taio last night and so little of Gaz.
Now that Gaz was before me, I remembered how much I had mooned over him all these years.
He was safe and comfortable. He was everything I loved about Earsleh.
Everything I held sacred. I squeezed his hands. “I’ll have Finnrey.”
“Try not to worry. No matter who the Zulenii prince chooses, he won’t win.”
“I wish I could feel so confident.”
“Trust me, Mara. He will not leave that arena alive.”
I had a sudden image of Taio with his throat slit, blood pooling on the dust of the arena ground around him. His blue-green eyes looked up at me, pleading for help...
“Mara, you know I care for you.”
I blinked and focused on Gaz’s mahogany eyes. “I-I care for you too.”
“We’re friends, yes?”
I nodded.
“When this is over, I’d like us to be more than friends.” His thumb circled the inside of my palm, making me shiver. “Would you like that?”
I took a shaky breath, the stroke of his thumb sending heat up my arm. “Yes.”
“You’re so beautiful.” He tugged me closer.
“So strong.” Our bodies touched. “So smart.” He dipped his head.
“I want you.” His lips crushed mine in a possessive kiss that took me by surprise.
I’d been expecting something soft and sweet like last night.
I tried to kiss him back, but he drew away.
“You’re mine,” he said. “That Zulenii will not touch you.”
Outside, my mother tapped on the door and Gaz released me. “I’ll see you in the arena, Mara. Look for me.”
“I will.”
And then he was gone. I pressed two fingers to my lips, which stung from the force of his kiss.
I just wanted this day over. Then Gaz and I could take our time exploring whatever was developing between us.
I’d wanted him for so long that it was difficult to believe he finally felt the same way for me.
“Mara!” my mother called.
“Coming!” I forced down a few bites of bread and tea then pulled the face protector and joined my mother.
The streets were filled with people now, everyone heading west. On the east side of the castle, bordered by the sea, lay the training fields.
On the west side of the castle, also bordered by the ocean, lay the arena.
It seated perhaps five hundred, but I imagined there would be a couple thousand there today, especially if word had spread to the outerlands.
As we neared the arena, my mother shuttled me away from one of the public entrances and through a side door.
Upon stepping inside, I realized we were underneath the seats and inside the structure itself.
The low lamps showed a curved stone corridor that looked like it ran the length of the arena itself.
I heard the rhythmic sound of footsteps above us and the muffled rumble of voices.
I looked right and left before my mother grabbed my shoulders and turned me to face her.
Her expression in the flickering lamplight was sober.
“I cannot go any further with you. Only the guards and princesses are allowed beyond this point.”
“But I don’t know—”
“Mara, please. Listen to me. Do as Cameed and Broga tell you. Do not argue. Do not question.”
“Broga? Don’t tell me—”
“Mara.” She shook me slightly. “Please. For me. Remember how valuable you are to the kingdom. Nothing else matters. Listen to Cameed. Will you promise me?”
I nodded. The truth was, the look in my mother’s tawny eyes was scaring me a little.
She really did fear losing me, and it made the prospect of leaving everything and everyone I had ever known far too real.
But this was not just about my comfort. My father needed me to prepare to lead his kingdom one day. “I promise,” I said.
“Good.” She pointed toward the right. “Follow the passageway and a guard will be waiting to take you to your sisters.”
She leaned forward and kissed my cheek. She smelled like tea and the light floral fragrance she always wore. And then she was gone.
I took a deep breath and began to walk.