Chapter 9
CHAPTER NINE
Shadows filled the room, the clock on the nightstand clicking over. Coulter hadn’t seen a vintage alarm clock like it in years, but the nostalgia of it made the room less sterile. Like a small taste of home in desperate circumstances.
Midnight.
He’d slept.
Not the semi-conscious kind that accompanied every mission, that barely counted as rest. This had been soul deep. Heavy. Sound. And he was sure he hadn’t passed out like that since he’d been ten.
The pill.
That’s what had knocked him sideways. Whatever Darwin had instructed Wynn to pass along had obviously hit him hard. Kicked him into the abyss with absolutely no resistance on his end.
He laid one arm across his forehead as he stared at the ceiling. Visions of Neve standing in the fog, of her running like a ninja across the beam, flashed in his head, the remembered fear knotting his stomach. Stealing his ability to suck in air then push it out.
It wasn’t the first time she’d risked her life in his presence, and he knew it wouldn’t be the last. But this… This was a devastating mix of professional awe and terrifying possessive love that left him questioning the last three years of his life.
Had him wondering how he ever thought he could exist without a version of her by his side.
Tossing off the blankets, he swung his legs over the edge. The concrete cooled his feet as he stood, ribs protesting, leg still sore. He took a few, shallow breaths, then ambled across the room, cracking the door open an inch.
Silence stretched through the bunker, nothing but the hum of the HVAC and the distant whisper of what sounded like a video game disturbing the heavy quiet. A dim light brightened the hallway at the far end, just enough that he wouldn’t walk into one of the walls.
Coulter pushed down the hint of uncertainty, then crossed the hall to the doorway at the very end. Neve’s room. He smiled. She’d always preferred to be on the periphery. Not that she didn’t fit in, more that she liked riding that edge. Having options that being on the fringe offered.
Hands clammy, he stopped in front of her door, the voice in his head warning him not to push her.
That after spending over a week in the bunker, he’d gotten a good look behind the curtain.
Witnessed the price they’d paid — their careers, their families — without any guarantee they’d be able to stop Finch. Clear Darwin’s name.
That she’d suffered, too.
An odd ringing sounded in his head as he knocked lightly on her door, then cracked it open before he could change his mind or she could tell him to fuck off. He slipped inside, leaned against the wall as Neve looked up from a book, eyes wary, a dim light illuminating her face.
God, she was stunning.
Blue eyes staring up at him, her rosy-pink lips, slightly parted. Instead of being pulled back in a ponytail, all her chestnut-colored hair cascaded around her shoulders, just waiting for him to wrap around his fingers. She had on an oversized tee, the fabric softly draping her curves.
She watched him for a few moments, then placed the book on the side table before slipping out from beneath the covers and pushing to her feet.
The shirt fell to her mid-thighs, the soft blue tone a beautiful contrast to her pale skin as she shifted on her bare feet, looking as if she didn’t know whether to kiss him or toss him on his ass.
He dragged his gaze back to her face, loving the way she drew herself up, closing the distance between them with strong confident strides. She stopped entirely too close to suggest she had any other intentions but seeing this through.
That whatever the outcome, she’d made her decision.
Neve’s mouth quirked as she crossed her arms. “And here I thought you might actually sleep all night.”
He kept his weight braced against the wall, aware he’d probably grunt if he twisted funny. “I think you know me better than that.”
“I thought I did, but…” She toed the floor, looking lost and sexy at the same time. “I don’t want to fight, Coulter. I just need you to answer one question.”
He arched a brow. “I thought it was my turn to ask the questions, but shoot.”
She squared her shoulders, looking as if she’d braced for some kind of physical impact. “If none of this had happened, if I’d been waiting at home, would you have knocked on my door as planned? Or had you already blown me off?”
Her words hit deep, the truth to them more than humbling.
He pushed off the wall, hating the twitch of his mouth that definitely didn’t go unnoticed. “Honestly? I had every intention of picking up roses and waiting on your porch.”
She cocked her head to the side. “But…”
“No buts, Neve. I guess I just always thought we had time. That you’d always be there.” He raked his fingers through his hair, doing his best not to wince. “Arrogant, I know. And cruel. Not seeing things from your perspective. Realizing how much you’d sacrificed… Are still sacrificing.”
He stepped into her, made her palm his chest again in order to keep him from backing her up against the bed.
“Thinking I’d lost you… I’m fucking scared to admit how much that broke me.
How far I fell. So, watching you today, knowing it could happen again.
That, despite being within reach, I might not be able to save you… ”
He leaned forward, rested his forehead on hers. “I don’t know how to shove it down. How to bury the fear because I already buried you. And I can’t…”
Her fingers landed on his neck before shifting back, threading through his hair as she held him tight against her. “Life doesn’t come with guarantees, baby. And the only reason I ran out on that beam was because the thought of losing you, again…” Her voice roughened. “I’m scared, too.”
He eased back, cupped her jaw. “I don’t want to go back to my room. In fact, I don’t want my own room.”
Her smile dimmed the lights, had his breath catching, his heart pounding out a shaky rhythm. “Careful, because it sounds as if we might finally be on the same page.”
“Good. Then you won’t dump me on my ass when I do this…”
He drew her to him with a shift of his hand, his mouth slanting over hers, all the heat and expectation that had been simmering beneath his skin burning to life. Starting a fire only her full surrender would quench.
Neve moaned into the kiss, tangling her tongue with his once he’d slipped it inside, tasted every inch of her before pulling back, lowering his head when she fisted his shirt, yanked it over his head.
Her breath hissed out around them, her fingers landing softly on his chest. “Jesus, Coulter…”
He placed his hand over hers, holding it against him. “I’m fine.”
“Tell that to all the bruising.” She smoothed her hands lightly over the blemishes, frowning when he tensed. “You need to rest. C’mon, we can cuddle—”
Coulter fisted her hair, held her head still as he dipped down, claimed her mouth. He didn’t wait for an invitation, just twisted her lips open, delved inside. She responded, her fingers digging into his back, one calf wrapped around his.
This was what he needed — Neve, writhing in his arms, riding his thigh as he traced every inch, pulled away in order to kiss a path down her neck, suck at her pulse point before working his way back up, tasting her all over again.
She slid her hands up, curled her fingers into his hair, keeping an inch of space between her chest and his as she fought for control, finally surrendering.
He smiled against her lips, nipping at the bottom one when his ribs shifted as he twisted, a muffled grunt clawing free before he managed to crush it.
Neve froze, her fingers still in his hair, her face flushed as she panted. She glanced at his chest, then back to him. “Coulter…”
“I just twisted funny. I’m fine.”
“You’re not fine.”
“I’ve been an ass long enough. I’m not about to let a bit of bruising derail the rest of the night.”
Neve eased her fingers free as she hitched one hip out to the side. “Jesus, Coulter, I don’t want you to muscle through this. Treat making love to me like an op.”
“That’s not what I meant.”
“Fine. I’ll make you a deal.” She motioned behind her. “If you can pick me up and carry me to the bed without so much as a grimace, a twitch of your eye, you can spend the rest of the night pounding me into it.”
Coulter eyed the four steps to the bed. While he stood by his statement, that any discomfort would be more than worth it, he wasn’t going to start the rest of their lives off by lying.
He reached out, traced the outline of her breast with one finger, the simple touch spiking his need until he wasn’t sure he could hold off long enough not to embarrass himself let alone another day.
“You know I can’t, but that doesn’t mean I won’t enjoy myself. ”
He closed the distance, again, breathed her in, noting the hints of citrus in her hair, the subtle floral aroma on her skin mixed with a sweet essence that was pure Neve. “I need…”
He kissed her, tongues dancing across each other, her taste like a physical jolt to his heart. He didn’t care about his ribs, if Darwin had to put him in traction later. Not as long as he got to touch her.
Love her.
Her increased breath sounded loud in the still room, her pulse fluttering wildly beneath her skin at the base of her neck.
The spot that already had a slight blemish he planned on turning into a full-blown hickey.
She closed her eyes, gritting her teeth like she had to shove down her own pain before she stared up at him, one hand toying with the waistband of his sweats.
“How much does just standing here hurt?”
“It doesn’t, and I promise you, I won’t feel anything but what you’re doing to me once I’ve got you pinned beneath me.” He circled one taut nipple through her shirt. “God, the things I’m gonna do to you.”
Her eyelids fluttered, a soft moan escaping as she pushed out a harsh breath. “While I want all of that and more, how about you let me take care of you tonight?”