Chapter 53
Remy
As the days grew longer, the darkness slowly retreated.
My recovery felt like it moved at a glacial pace sometimes, but I was recovering.
After my first visit with Vince, I started going downstairs every day to see him.
Within a few weeks, I was able to brush him with my good arm and do other basic care for the mule and the lion.
Jordy had managed to quickly earn Ripley’s trust, thanks to him feeding her.
Almost right away, she let him take her out on her leash to do her business, but even months into our living arrangement, she still wouldn’t wander too far away from me.
Maybe it was because she knew I was unwell, or maybe she just didn’t trust Jordy that much.
Either way, she was a big cat, and she needed to be able to roam. Eventually, being cooped up like this would be too much for her, and I wanted to be more proactive about it.
On a sunny afternoon, Jordy and I decided to take Ripley out for a walk around town.
The weather was finally warm enough, and Ripley seemed to enjoy leisurely stretching her legs.
As we wandered through the quiet streets together, Daiyu and Trevor “happened” to cross our path, but the whole interaction went really well.
Trevor couldn’t stop smiling when he got to meet the lion up close, and Ripley was receptive to pets and meeting new people.
Soon, my focus shifted from simply getting through each day to considering what might come next, and thoughts of leaving started to surface more often.
“So what do you think, doc?” I asked Jordy one evening, after he’d taken off my sling to have a look at my progress.
I was sitting on his bed, in flannel pants and a tank top, and he was beside me, gingerly touching my shoulder and moving my arm.
He lifted his gaze from my collarbone with a teasing spark in his pale hazel eyes, but he admonished me, “You know I hate when you call me ‘doc.’”
“I’ll stop calling you ‘doc’ when you stop treating me like a patient,” I countered.
“Is that your way of trying to manipulate me into giving you a clean bill of health even when I think that’s not the case yet?”
“Come on. Like you aren’t ready to get me out of your hair,” I replied.
“You know me better than that.” His hand on my shoulder, which moments ago had felt insignificant, suddenly seemed warm and heavy, his skin rough from scars and the harsh winter.
I looked away from him, and he dropped his hand, resting it on his leg as he sat back beside me.
“I only meant that I’m healing up, and the spring thaw is coming. It’ll be time for me to go soon,” I reasoned.
“It’s only March. The snow on the pass west of Xwechtáal is likely too deep for a mule to safely travel, and you still can’t lift much of anything,” Jordy disagreed. “I can’t stop you from doing what you want, but you have to realize that is so reckless.”
“I do, which is why I didn’t mean now,” I clarified. “I was thinking… four weeks. Mid-April.”
“The pass will be better then, and you should be able to do a lot more then.” He considered a moment, rubbing his hand on his thigh, and his brow furrowed.
“It does depend on how well you’re healing up, but it doesn’t sound impossible.
” He hesitated, then looked uncertainly over to me.
“Unless you wouldn’t mind waiting until May. ”
“Why would I do that?” I asked.
“Because that’s when I go to Glacier Valley.”
“What?” I asked in surprise. “Why do you go there? And why does it have to be in May?”
“First off, it is safer travelling then,” he elaborated.
“But mostly it’s because I need to wait until my ingredients become available.
I go to Glacier Valley twice a year, basically bookending summer trading with them.
I give them medicine, and they give me supplies for Xwechtáal.
But it isn’t until after the spring thaw that necessary materials for some concoctions are harvestable. ”
“Why didn’t you tell me any of this before?” I asked. “You knew I was going to Glacier Valley.”
“No, I knew you had planned on going there before you ended up here,” he corrected me. “I wasn’t sure if you were still planning to go or not. And, I guess, I wasn’t sure that I’d want to travel that long with you.”
I laughed at his surprisingly relatable honesty. “And now you are sure that it wouldn’t be so bad?”
“I have enjoyed having you around the past few months. It made the winter a lot more bearable.”
I wouldn’t lie and say I hadn’t noticed the way things had been subtly changing between us. We spent our long evenings together, talking, playing cards, and reading by candlelight. Our conversations had shifted, with playful teasing and warm familiarity.
Sometimes, I felt his gaze or his hands linger on me. But if I was being honest, sometimes I leaned into his touch or teased him to see that glint in his eyes.
It wasn’t unreasonable, or even unexpected, really. For the better part of the past three months, it had only been the two of us. He did spend time away from the house, helping people around town, or sometimes going hunting. But otherwise, it was only us all evening, until we parted at bedtime.
After I left Boden, I had planned on the romantic part of my life to be closed forever. If I couldn’t make it work with him, I couldn’t make it work with anybody. And I still loved him, as I knew I always would.
That was why I’d been ignoring the growing flutter in my stomach when Jordy was around, or how much I looked forward to seeing him every evening.
Maybe I had a crush on him, and I didn’t know why it felt so uncomfortable to admit.
Of course I was attracted to him. He was a handsome young man, with eyes the color of the snowy mountains behind us, and he’d been attending to my every want or need for weeks.
Not to mention that he was strong, and his rough hands always felt so warm and reassuring on my skin.
My mouth went dry, and I looked away from him because I had the overwhelming urge to cry or kiss him. I wasn’t even sure which one was more likely, but I didn’t want to do either.
“I’ve enjoyed your company, too,” I admitted. “But you know when I go to Glacier Valley, I won’t be coming back to Xwechtáal with you.”
“I do know that. I may not know exactly what your mission is, but it’s been clear to me since I met you that you are on one, and you are not easily deterred.”
“And that doesn’t bother you?” I asked. “That you don’t know what I want, or where I’m from, or that I’m going to be out of your life in a matter of months?
He shrugged. “I’ll admit that I’m curious about a lot of things. But like I said, I enjoy being around you, and it will be safer and easier for both of us if we travel together.”
Part of me wanted to say yes, for reasons both logical and painfully emotional. But another part hesitated, uneasy with how much I found myself drawn to him.
“I know that I need to be more cautious so I don’t end up putting myself and my animals in danger again,” I said, carefully choosing my words. “But… I just don’t know if it’s a good idea.”
“I won’t ask you for more than you’re willing to give,” he promised, and the way he looked at me… I believed him.
He was sitting there, one hand on his own leg, the other on his bed, his fingers knotted in the blanket. The firelight was dancing across his face, and his lips were slightly parted as he inhaled.
I was beside him, my legs crossed underneath me, on his bed, in only a tank top, and I knew that nothing would change unless I asked for it. By necessity, I had been vulnerable with him since the moment we met, and he’d never overstepped a line or crossed a boundary.
“Okay,” I said.
“Okay?” he echoed uncertainly. “As in just okay, or okay you’ll wait until May?”
“Okay, I’ll wait until May,” I said, and already his smile was deepening. “I’ll go with you.”
“Yeah?” he asked, as if he couldn’t quite believe it.
I laughed. “Yeah. It’ll be fun. And I think Vince will like Buck’s company.”
“Oh? So this is all about Vince, and not about how you feel about me?” he asked.
“Yes. That is what I’m saying. It’s entirely about Vince, and not about how I think you will increase my likelihood of survival.” I put my hand on top of his, the one on his leg, and as I spoke he moved, entwining his fingers through mine.
“Well, as long as we’re both clear about where I stand.”
He leaned in, and his hand that had been knotted in the blanket moved onto my back. His rough fingertips brushed against the exposed skin between the hem of my tank top and my pants.
I shifted closer, feeling the heat from the fire and from his body.
My heart hammered in my chest, and then, with only a moment’s hesitation, I pressed my lips to his.
Immediately, he kissed me back and slid close to me.
His hand gripped my hip desperately but carefully, pulling me closer to him without hurting me.
Almost as quickly as we started kissing, we stopped, with me pressing my hand to his chest.
“Was that okay?” he asked breathily, his eyes searching mine.
“Yeah, it was great.” I smiled up at him, and relief washed over his face. “But I need you to know… this doesn’t mean anything, okay?”
He paused, as if considering, then he nodded. “Okay. I understand.”
I kissed him again, more deeply this time, and he responded by wrapping an arm around me. His kisses were fervent, but even in the heat of the moment, his touch was restrained. His hands anchored me, gripping my hip with a desperate need, but never rough, always mindful of my healing body.
I climbed onto his lap, looping my arms around his neck as I pressed my body against his. “Don’t be so careful, you can’t break me.”
He smirked up at me. “You were literally a bag of broken bones when I met you.”
“You put me back together once, you can do it again,” I told him as I pulled him back onto the bed with me.