Chapter 12
“Three…two…one…”
The gathered crowd in the center of the festival grounds broke off their group countdown as the tree before us lit with thousands of tiny colored bulbs.
A confetti cannon erupted, showering bits of red and green paper over the tree, the street, me.
Kids cheered. I mouthed the expected ooh and ahh along with my family, but my heart wasn’t it.
This was such a strange Christmas.
Next to Ryan, Nick’s face was cast in shadow, his shoulders a straight line as he stared up at the tree.
I tried to pull my gaze from his stoic profile, ironically lit by the obnoxious necklace I’d bought us, but I couldn’t.
In another world, I might have been snuggled up under his arm, the way Chloe was with Axel and Lydia was with Ryan.
The way Mom—and her corn dog—was with Dad.
But not this world.
All around us, couples were kissing like it was New Year’s.
I averted my eyes from Chloe and Axel’s lip-lock and glanced down at my necklace, the lights pulsing a rhythm oddly in sync with “Joy to the World,” which was blaring overhead.
Pretty sure the necklaces had freaked Nick out—which was only fair, considering how his being so funny and enjoyable while shopping freaked me out.
How dare he be likable when I was trying to seek revenge?
Nick kept staring up at the tree, hands shoved in his jacket pockets as a muscle worked in his jaw. Avoiding the happy couples too? His vacant gaze seemed like he’d been transported elsewhere, and I really had no business caring this much.
But because I’m a sucker for punishment, I’d secretly bought him a gift while checking out with Olivia and Chloe’s presents, and now it weighed heavily in my purse.
Like with most impulse buys, I immediately wondered if it’d been a mistake.
But Nick had been so helpful, and his story about his parents rejecting his gifts over the years snuck in a back door to my heart and tugged at a few heartstrings. I’d wanted to do something in return.
Shopping together had felt so natural it’d almost made me forget my mission. When I caught him watching me at the table, saw him smiling so genuinely, it’d been hard to remember that it wasn’t genuine. He was only pretending to be happy because of pretending to be interested in me.
And if anything would jog a girl into remembering her dignity, that would do it. I wasn’t someone to be pitied.
So. Cindy Lou Who, activated.
The quick switch must have worked, because after I adorned Nick with his matching necklace, he all but shut down.
Walked next to me, yes. Chugged the rest of his espresso, sure.
Nodded and responded to everything I animatedly chattered on about as we hurried to find Mom’s corn dog and mustard packet and eventually made our way back to my family.
But he’d morphed into a robot. A Christmas-hating, coffee-guzzling robot.
“ And heaven and nature sing… ”
Was I being too hard on him? Maybe I should give him the gift.
“ And heaven and nature sing… ”
But did that mean I was softening? Letting Operation: Naughty List end too soon?
“ And heaven and heaven and nature sing. ”
A hundred or more voices blended in song, lilting toward the star-studded sky.
Janie’s face lit with enthusiasm, her off-key rendition rising above the others in a near-shout.
Even Mason sang with abandon. Olivia wrapped her arms around her kids, while Kat leaned into Dad’s side.
Lydia rested her head on Ryan’s shoulder and closed her eyes, singing softly.
But Nick’s lips didn’t move as the song continued. I frowned. Maybe he needed this present, this truce. More than that, maybe I needed it. He wouldn’t realize my giving it to him would be a gesture. An end to the war I’d waged this Christmas.
But I would know.
The question was—was I ready?
I brushed red and green confetti off my jacket sleeve. Ending Operation: Naughty List felt way too much like losing control. But honestly, what had I really accomplished other than annoying Nick with holiday shenanigans? Well, scaring him awake via a giant snowman—that one had been fun.
Letting my hurt and frustration fuel Operation: Naughty List had seemed like a good idea at the time, but I’d never realized how heavy revenge weighed. I was pretty sure there was a scripture about letting God have vengeance, and for good reason. I wasn’t built for this.
My heart slowly aligned with my head, and I knew.
It was time.
Of course, that meant I’d have to figure out for myself what to do about Christmas after I let this grudge go. If Nick wasn’t on the receiving end of my crazy, there was no sense in pouring energy into fake-loving the holidays anymore.
But first things first.
The song ended and the crowd began to disperse, a sudden blur of colorful scarves and off-key whistles and squeaking strollers.
Nick had finally snapped out of whatever trance held him captive, and he chatted with Ryan and Lydia.
But his eyes weren’t quite the same as they’d been earlier in the evening.
The fact I could tell something had shifted in him was very, very unsettling. Did I already know him that well? But how could I know someone who wasn’t being real with me?
Not that I had been either.
Dad looped his arm around Mom’s shoulders and dropped a kiss on her head before looking at us kids. “I’m going to get her home, find something to eat besides this padded hot dog you all call dinner.”
“They had plain hot dogs too,” Axel offered.
Dad ignored him. “Who’s up for a Christmas movie?”
“Me!” Janie and Mason shouted at the same time. They immediately started yelling about jinxes and pokes and owing each other sodas. Olivia sighed and I grinned at her. That sugar rush was going to take a while to wear off.
“We’re down for a movie. Just going to check out a few more booths before we head to the house.” Ryan took Lydia’s hand. “Kat, you riding back with us?”
Kat wrinkled her nose as she wrapped her giant jacket tighter around her. “I’d rather not, lovebirds.”
Olivia held up her hand to stop further protest. “I’ll take her. What’s one more child?”
Kat stuck out her tongue. Olivia released a smug smile. “Case in point.”
I shot Nick a glance, but he was looking down at his phone.
We’d ridden over with Ryan and Lydia, but everything in Nick’s body language screamed he was ready to get out of here now.
Whatever had distracted him, he clearly wasn’t into more shopping.
Maybe we could ride with Mom and Dad instead. But…“What about Chloe and Axel?”
Ryan pointed to our parents. “They’re with them.”
Chloe and Axel obediently stepped closer to Dad. Okay, so that wouldn’t work. Nick seemed to be realizing the same thing but was too polite to request anything different.
Why, again, was I trying to help this man? Just because I was ready to drop Operation: Naughty List didn’t mean I had to be his best friend. He’d still hurt me. I was just preparing myself to be the bigger person, that’s all.
“Ready when you are,” Chloe chirped at Dad with a smile.
“Yes, siree.” Axel tipped an imaginary hat. “Ready to mosey down the road at will.”
Kat opened her mouth, then closed it, as if the joke required too much effort. “Whatever. First one home gets to pick the Christmas movie.”
“I’m totally calling dibs on Home Alone !” Axel let out a whoop. “Come on, li’l darlin’.” He grabbed Chloe’s hand and rushed with her down the street, despite the fact Dad—with his car keys—was still standing by the tree.
“Is it just me, or is he slowly turning into a cowboy?” Olivia tilted her head as we all stared after Chloe and Axel.
“He did say he’d never been on a farm before,” I reminded her.
Kat frowned. “But that doesn’t mean he has to actually—”
“Girls, be nice.” Mom clucked a warning at my sisters. “He’s a sweet boy.”
Dad’s frown matched Kat’s. “That might be a bit of a reach.”
“Thomas.” Mom squinted, the warning cluck transitioning into her full-out warning voice, which we’d never wanted to hear growing up. It meant punishment was imminent.
Dad straightened. If anyone knew that tone, it was him. “Guess we better meet them at the car. See you guys at home.”
“Mom, can you speed? Just this once?” Mason’s face scrunched as he watched his grandparents hurry off. “I really want to watch Jingle All the Way. ”
“I will not.” Olivia made a face at her firstborn and then launched into a near-perfect Arnold Schwarzenegger impression. “Tell Aunt Holly hasta la vista. ”
Ryan and Lydia disappeared into the market booths, while Olivia and Kat hurried after Janie and Mason, who were chasing after Mom and Dad. Nick and I were suddenly left alone. Well, as alone as you can be with a giant tree, a billion flakes of confetti, and a slowly dispersing crowd of strangers.
We locked eyes. Nick’s gaze shuttered, as if guarding himself. Probably from inflatable snowmen and attempted Heimlichs and feather boas.
I guess I had put him through a lot.
I clicked off my necklace, and my half-blinded eyes immediately rejoiced. “I got something for you.”
Nick winced, going so far as to back up a step. “You did?”
“Don’t panic. It’s a gift.” I tried to laugh, but it sounded nervous. To be fair, this was a big moment for me, even if Nick wouldn’t get that.
Hopefully the present would speak for itself.
Nick’s shoulders dropped a notch and he released a bit of air. “It’s not even Christmas yet.”
“You need this now, trust me.” As did I.
I reached into the gift bag that held my sisters’ presents and pulled free the prettiest snow globe I’d ever seen.
Inside the dark blue encasement sat a beautiful farmhouse, complete with spruce trees and a long driveway.
A tiny family in red jackets built a snowman in the front yard, while a horse and cow looked on from behind a fence.
It wasn’t an exact replica of our house, but it was pretty close.