Chapter 18
Chapter eighteen
“Is she here?”
All eyes turned to Caleb where he stood trying to catch his breath in the doorway at Lemon and Thyme.
His friends were already gathered around the cluster of tables Jamie and Tessa had pushed together to accommodate their large number, the smell of rosemary, sage, and garlic hanging in the air.
Caleb scanned everyone gathered around Ethan and Hannah.
He’d clearly interrupted something, but he was struggling to care.
Molly hadn’t shown up at Mass and if she also wasn’t at family dinner. ..
“Is who here?” Tessa asked, glancing around.
“Molly.”
Gavin moved towards his brother, holding out a wine glass. “No, she and Jo haven’t gotten here yet. Why don’t you come in and have a drink?”
“I don’t want a drink.” He shrugged off his brother’s well-intentioned hand on his shoulder as he headed for his sister-in-law, the person in the room who knew Molly best. “Is she coming?”
Kyla’s eyes grew wide and darted between the other women, as though the answer to Caleb’s question might be written on their foreheads. “I—I think so. She didn’t say anything about not coming tonight.”
“She and Jo did cancel our shopping trip, though,” Sabrina offered.
“Did you try calling her?” Tessa asked.
“She didn’t answer,” Caleb said. “She said she’d come to Mass, but she didn’t. And now she’s not here either—”
“What happened?” Gavin asked.
“I don’t know! One minute we were great and the next—”
“We?” Ethan’s eyebrows shot up his forehead.
Caleb looked between his friends, each of them madly in love with someone who, on paper, they weren’t supposed to be with. Each of them happier than he’d ever seen them. His attention caught on Hannah’s hand, held out in front of the other women. “Is that—Did you guys get engaged?”
Ethan’s chest puffed up, a grin spreading across his face. “We did.”
“Congratulations.” He wanted to be happier for them, to celebrate with them, but all he could think about was the very real possibility he’d never get the chance to propose to Molly. She was running away and he couldn’t figure out how to stop her.
“Wait, we’re not talking about them right now. Sorry, guys,” Jamie said to Ethan before turning back to Caleb. “Right now, we’re talking about you and Molly and why you’re bursting into family dinner like someone set your house on fire.”
“She—I—”
Where was he even supposed to start?
“He’s in love with her,” Gavin answered for him.
“Obviously.” Baz took a sip of his Scotch, arching an eyebrow at Caleb over the glass as though he dared the priest to argue with his assessment of the situation.
“But that’s a good thing!” Kyla squealed. Then, taking in Caleb’s tortured expression, “Right? I mean, she’s in love with you too.”
“You all have just known this?” Caleb sputtered.
“Pretty much,” Sabrina said as she took a seat on Baz’s lap. Baz smiled at her in a way he reserved solely for his wife. Caleb’s chest burned with an uncomfortable mix of envy and longing.
Just then, all of the women’s phones dinged at once, a cacophony of electronic notifications sounding. “So much for a scandal-free holiday. We have to go,” Kyla said as she continued reading her screen.
“Is it Molly?” Caleb asked, stepping closer as his brother protested, “But it’s Christmas Eve.”
Tessa sighed and stuck her phone in the back pocket of her jeans. “Jo’s calling in backup.” She kissed Jamie quickly as the women gathered their coats and bags. “I’m not sure how late we’ll be, so don’t forget, you need to pick Julie up from Cheryl and Ricky’s by ten.”
“I won’t forget our daughter on Christmas Eve,” Jamie said, rolling his eyes. He lowered his voice, as though they couldn’t all hear him. “Don’t stay out too late. You promised we could try out your new present tonight.”
“Jesus Christ,” Ethan swore. “How many times do I have to tell you not to say that shit to my daughter when I’m around?”
Neither Jamie nor Tessa looked terribly contrite despite their mumbled apology.
As the women headed towards the door, already speculating about what exactly could require Jo to call in the cavalry on Christmas Eve instead of coming to family dinner, Kyla paused at Caleb’s side.
“It will be okay.” She squeezed his forearm.
“Whatever happened, it will all work out. You’ll see. ”
“How do you know?” he asked around the lump in his throat.
She smiled. “Because it’s Christmas.”
Caleb watched them leave, though he seriously considered going with them. Gavin clapped him on the shoulder, steering him away from the door and back towards the table where Jamie was pouring them all another round of Scotch. “Start at the beginning, big brother.”
So he did. He told them about his first day at St. Anthony’s High and how Molly had given him a tour of the building, pointing out the coffee maker in the teachers’ lounge that liked to randomly shock people and teaching him the trick to unlocking the wonky side door.
He told them about chaperoning the senior ski trip together and that night last May when he’d almost kissed her, the time she’d visited him at the church and he thought she might kiss him.
He told them about the way she challenged him on the harm done by the Church, how she made him face his role in it.
He told them about spiked hot chocolates and sleeping next to her and breaking his vows underneath the Christmas tree—though he kept the specifics to himself.
And then he told them about coming home and the panicked look in her eyes when she’d said she needed space, her bombshell about a job offer out of town, her insistence he not change his life for her.
“But she’s already changed my life!” he said, pleading with his friends to understand. “She’s been changing my life little by little for eighteen months. I could no more keep being a priest now than I could swim across an ocean!”
“He’s a sucky swimmer,” Gavin said, leaning closer to Jamie as though he were sharing a secret.
Caleb ignored him. “I resigned. Tonight was my last Mass.”
“If Molly were to tell you tomorrow that she didn’t want to be with you, would you regret resigning?” Jamie asked.
“No.” He sliced his hand through the air. “I needed to walk away. I've needed to for a while. Molly helped me see that, but I didn’t make this decision overnight. It’s something I’ve been thinking about for a long time.”
“Then that’s it. You just need to help her understand,” Ethan said.
“If it was that simple, I would be out doing it and not here talking with you four,” Caleb said.
“It is that simple,” Baz replied, setting down his empty Scotch glass. “You’ve been in love with her for over a year. Tell her that.”
"He can’t just tell her,” Gavin protested. “He has to show her.”
“Gav’s right,” Jamie said. “That first year, Tessa would get skittish sometimes, and I’d—”
“Careful,” Ethan warned, eyeing his friend-turned-son-in-law.
“I’d find a way to show her how much she meant to me,” Jamie finished, rolling his eyes at Ethan. “Little things to let her know I was paying attention and I wasn’t going anywhere.”
Caleb considered his friends’ advice. If he could show Molly this wasn’t a spur of the moment decision for him, that he’d been dreaming of a life with her—and without the priesthood—for over a year, then he could help her see she didn’t need to give him space, not for his sake anyway.
Molly was a caregiver, willing to fight for anyone’s happiness but her own.
It was high time someone showed her that her happiness was worth fighting for—and if she wouldn’t do it herself, he’d do it for her.
And if her happiness means a new job in Boston?
Then he’d pack his bags and move to Boston.
“Do you know how to bake?” he asked Jamie.
“I am a professional chef,” Jamie replied with mock offense.
“Is that a yes?” Baz challenged.
“I mean, I don’t know exactly, but I do have access to my wife’s recipes,” Jamie said. “Why are we baking?”
“I have an idea, but if I’m going to pull it off, I’ll need your help.
” Caleb looked around the table at the friends who were so much more like family, each one of them ready to spend their Christmas Eve helping him fight for the woman he loved.
“Gav, can you go to Mom’s and see if she has any templates left in the recipe drawer? ”
“On it,” Gavin said, saluting before he grabbed his coat and practically sprinted from the restaurant.
“Ethan, can you see if there’s any place open in town selling candy?” Caleb asked.
Ethan snorted. “No need. I have a box at home full of the good stuff.”
Baz smirked. “You have a quest for me too?”
“Nope. The three of us are about to bake up a grand gesture,” Caleb said, indicating himself, Baz, and Jamie.
“Better not get any flour on my suit,” Baz said.
Jamie pushed back from the table, leading the way into his kitchen. “Calm down. I’ll let you borrow an apron.”