Chapter 11 You were a nun?
You were a nun?
Transcript. Hollywood, De Repente with Hugo Valencia.
HUGO: [in Spanish] What a treat we have for you today, ladies and gentlemen. My crew and I came to the set of Lost Star Dance Troupe Saves the Universe for a chat with Jason Ramirez and his Celebrity Crush date, and look what we stumbled upon.
[video clip plays]
HUGO: Well, well, well, what have we here? [in Spanish] Keep that camera rolling, Guillermo. For our viewers at home, it seems like we’ve been focusing our efforts in the wrong place. The real story is with Sean O’Sullivan and his date. What’s your name again, darling?
JOSIE: No hablo espanol.
[Guillermo mumbles something to Hugo]
HUGO: Her name is Josie Days? Great. Come now, Josie. You’ve spent time in Mexico, by your own admission. You must know some Spanish. Come on out of that closet and tell us about yourself. Everyone is curious. What took you to Mexico? Were you a student? A tourist? Do you have family there?
[the conversation switches to English]
JOSIE: I told you, I don’t speak Spanish.
SEAN: Josie, don’t be modest. You said something in Spanish a minute ago, and you sounded great.
HUGO: Oh, really? What did she say?
JOSIE: Nothing! She said nothing!
SEAN: I heard… tortura.
HUGO: Torture?
SEAN: Boca tortura…
HUGO: Torture mouth?
JOSIE: Okay, Sean, stop! Please stop helping me.
[the conversation switches to Spanish]
JOSIE: Hugo, don’t listen to him. I’ll talk.
HUGO: So you do speak Spanish. With conjugated verbs and everything.
JOSIE: Yeah. Sorry. That was… my other personality. Her Spanish isn’t very good.
HUGO: Right. And this personality? Care to tell us what she was doing in Mexico?
JOSIE: [pauses] She was a nun.
HUGO: A nun?
JOSIE: A very bad nun with… urges.
HUGO: You were a nun?
JOSIE: She fell in love with a seminarian, but she didn’t want to destroy his career and break his grandmother’s heart, so she renounced her vows and got on that bus.
HUGO: And ended up here with Mr. Torture Mouth.
JOSIE: [pauses] Yep.
HUGO: What part of Mexico?
JOSIE: The D.F.
HUGO: The Distrito Federal, eh? Most Americans would call it Mexico City. Interesting. You know, you seem very familiar. There’s something about you…
JOSIE: Nope! No, there isn’t. I’m just your average, run-of-the-mill runaway nun with multiple personality disorder.
HUGO: Can you move your hair out of your face, darling? Let us get a better look at you.
JOSIE: The nun personality was also hideously disfigured… in a bullfight.
HUGO: Now, now. You’re a beautiful young woman, Josie. There’s no reason to be shy. And your accent is very good. I look forward to hearing how your date with Mr. O’Sullivan goes.
SEAN: [in English] I heard my name.
JOSIE: We won’t be going on a date. I’m giving it away to charity.
HUGO: [chuckles] Now, that’s the least believable thing you’ve said today, and that’s saying a lot.
SEAN: [in English] Excuse me. I’m just going to squeeze out of here. They’re calling me on set. Bye, Josie. [holds a hand out to Hugo] Sean O’Sullivan. Good to meet you.
HUGO: [shakes Sean’s hand] Hugo Valencia.
[Sean leaves]
HUGO: [to Josie] He’s gone now. You can tell me everything.
JOSIE: There’s nothing to tell. I’m a very private person, Mr. Valencia. I don’t like being in the spotlight.
HUGO: Well, Beautiful, I hate to break it to you, but that’s no longer an option. And I don’t know why you seem so familiar to me, but you’d better believe I’m going to find out. Here, take my card, in case you want to talk.
JOSIE: I don’t want to talk. I’m never going to want to talk.
HUGO: [mimes a phone and grins] Talk soon.