13. The Defiance
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
THE DEFIANCE
Sophie
My chest rises and falls as I pull the zipper on the side of my dress down slowly. Julian is behind me, so I can’t see him. Despite that, I can feel his eyes boring into the back of my body, and as I look up at Kai, a shiver works through me at the way he’s drinking me in.
Whenever I sleep with men outside of my marriage, there’s always a wide range of preferences. No two men are going to approach fucking me the same, they have different tactics and techniques, different ways of doing things. I’ve been wined and dined while Julian sat nearby. I’ve also been pressed against a wall and fucked in a matter of minutes. Usually it’s somewhere in the middle, and usually, it’s Julian giving the commands.
I like that my husband is in charge. It makes me feel safe.
But right now?
I can’t look away from Kai as a dark piece of hair falls over his forehead, as he stands there with a heavy, commanding presence.
I’ve been with soft Dom’s before—men who dabble in BDSM. And like Julian told Kai, we’ve experimented with different kinky things. We’re not wholly vanilla, but we’re also not as intense as Kai seems to be.
I wasn’t sure what to expect tonight, but this?
It’s exhilarating.
I know I tend to lean toward the submissive side of the spectrum, at least with Julian, so when Kai tells me what to do—his voice low, steady, and completely in control—it hits something deep within me. The way he looks at me, like he knows he’s in charge yet never once crosses the line into disrespect, is… really fucking hot. He’s somehow figured out the perfect balance that always leaves me breathless.
Authoritative yet not overbearing.
Firm but never cruel.
There’s something thrilling about testing him, knowing that he’d never push past my comfort zone. I enjoy seeing that brief hint of irritation when I press against his boundaries.
He never lets it fully show—Kai is far too composed for that—but I can see it in the tightening of his jaw, the faint narrowing of his eyes. And I like it. I enjoy the challenge, the game of seeing how far I can go before he quietly but firmly puts me back in my place.
With Julian, it’s different. I don’t normally act this playful with him; our dynamic has its own rhythm, one that’s softer, more reverent. Julian looks at me like I’m something to be cherished, and while I love that—I need that—this thing with Kai is its own brand of intoxicating. Kai doesn’t just cherish; he challenges. He meets my resistance head-on, countering my every move with a calm smirk that tells me he’s already thought three steps ahead. It’s maddening, and yet it pulls me in, makes me want to push even harder just to see how he’ll handle it.
It was the same during the renovations, when Kai was around every day, overseeing every detail with that infuriating, self-assured competence. Our banter back then was sharp and quick, always laced with a hint of flirtation, though neither of us dared to acknowledge it aloud. It felt safe to play with him, to poke at that steady, unshakable demeanor, knowing he could take it without missing a beat. That camaraderie, it’s different from what I have with Julian, and I realize now it’s carried over into this , into the bedroom.
I shouldn’t be surprised that Kai’s control feels as natural here as it did back then, though now it’s layered with a heat and burning passion that leaves me reeling. Even as I push back, as I tease and challenge him, I know exactly how this will end. Kai will take every ounce of my resistance in stride. He’ll let me push—maybe even enjoy watching me squirm—but ultimately, he’ll take the reins and remind me exactly who’s in charge.
And I’ll love it. Every second of it.
“May I stand?” I ask, my voice low and sultry, almost challenging but not crossing the line of disobedience.
“You may,” Kai says, a hint of amusement in his tone. “Thank you for asking.”
Biting my tongue, I stand up and take my boots off. Then I pull the dress down my body. I’m only clad in my bra and knickers, as well as my tights, and Kai’s eyes rove freely down my exposed abdomen.
“Fuck,” he utters, sighing as he looks back up at my face. My cheeks heat, but he steps forward and places his hands on my hips. “You’re perfect.”
“Thank you,” I whisper.
Using this opportunity, I look over my shoulder at Julian, and what I see makes me inhale sharply.
He’s leaning back in the chair, and instead of watching us like he normally does… his hand is palming his very obvious erection over his trousers. He gives me a slow, lazy smile as he continues, and then he gestures for us to keep going.
I swallow.
Julian never touches himself—it’s his one rule. Once they leave, it’s fair game—but he’s never involved in this way.
The thought of my husband being too aroused to keep from touching himself makes me want this even more.
“How would you like me, Father?”
Kai’s eyes darken as he studies me, and then he walks around me to his bedside table. Opening it slowly, he pulls out a black, leather book, and as my eyes take in the gold cross on the cover, a shiver works through me.
“I’d like you to recite a few passages from the Bible,” he says.
My lips part, and I take the book from him as my pulse speeds up. I’ve never done anything like this, but… I was raised Catholic. Julian and I don’t practice any sort of religion, but there’s something deeply taboo about playing with religion like this.
I squeeze my thighs together as I flip the book open.
“On your knees, little dove.”
Fuck.
That nickname is going to be the death of me.
I bend down to my knees, and my thighs rest on top of my heels. When I look up, he’s watching me with one hand rubbing his mouth.
“Is there a specific passage you’d like me to recite?” I ask.
Kai shrugs. “I’m interested to see which passage you choose.”
Swallowing my nerves down, I flip the Bible open and skim for the passages that used to resonate with me as a child. My fingers brush the delicate, thin pages of the Bible, and a strange heat rises in my chest. The smell of the old paper pulls me back to Sunday mornings as a child—knees pressed to hard wooden pews, stiff collars scratching at my neck. I hated the silence then, the way it made every fidget, every whispered thought feel like a sin.
But this isn’t Sunday school.
This is Kai, his gaze sharp and knowing, like he’s peeling back my layers with nothing but the weight of his attention.
I hate how small I feel under that look, how exposed.
“Well?” he asks, his voice smooth, too calm. My pulse jumps at the audacity of it—how he asks like this is nothing, like it’s easy . But it isn’t. It’s a dare, even if he doesn’t say it outright.
And I don’t want to give him what he wants.
Not yet, anyway.
“You’re very sure of yourself, aren’t you?” My voice is steady, but there’s a slight edge to it, a challenge I’m not entirely sure I meant to issue.
“I didn’t realize turning pages was so hard for you,” he says, the teasing tone light. “I suppose I should reconsider the other things I have planned for tonight.”
His gaze sharpens for just a second, brief but unmistakable. Like a blade glinting beneath velvet, a shadow of something harder, darker, presses to the surface before vanishing just as quickly.
How much is he holding back? The question curls inside me, electric and forbidden.
Instead of being obstinate, I bite down on the inside of my cheek. My thighs press together as I shift my weight, and the tension between us only coils tighter.
I know what he’s doing—he’s waiting for me to crack, to hand him my obedience on a silver platter. But submission is supposed to be mine to give, not his to take. The realization is a spark, igniting something reckless in me.
I flip through the pages, skimming passages about humility and obedience, the words pulling at old wounds I’d rather not prod tonight. My skin prickles as memories surface—hands clasped in prayer, sermons about surrendering to God’s will. I was always told to follow , to trust , to serve .
But I’ve spent years unlearning those lessons, peeling off the expectations like a second skin. Both Julian and I have, and it hasn’t been easy at times.
For example, my mother’s disapproving expression when I told her Julian and I were moving to California, which might as well have been a different planet.
And now Kai wants me to kneel, to recite those same words that once made me feel so small?
I stop on a random passage and glance up at him, meeting his gaze head-on. He’s still watching me, quiet and composed, his hand resting against his mouth like he’s fighting back another smirk.
Something in me itches to break that composure, to see if he’s as calm as he pretends to be.
“Do you want me to mean it?” I ask, my voice low, teasing, testing. “Or are you happy with a performance?”
The question hangs between us, and for a moment, his expression shifts, it’s subtle, but enough to make my breath hitch.
It’s dangerous, pushing him like this. I know it. But the thrill of it hums in my veins, mingling with the slow ache of anticipation building in my core.
I want to give in. I want to feel the weight of his control, to let him pull me under and quiet the noise in my head. But first, I want him to take it . To remind me why I kneel in the first place.
“What do you think?” he asks, his voice a dark purr.
I clear my throat and glance up at him. “All right, how about this one, my lord?” I let my finger trail down to Proverbs and find the verse that feels just outlandish enough. “‘Like a gold ring in a pig’s snout is a beautiful woman who shows no discretion,’” I read, keeping my tone perfectly matter-of-fact.
I look up to meet his eyes, waiting for his reaction.
I see his mouth twitch as he tries not to smile, clearly catching him off guard.
“Interesting choice,” he says finally, his voice careful but laced with amusement.
“Oh, you don’t like that one?” I ask, feigning innocence as I turn a few more pages with exaggerated nonchalance. “I’m sure I can find something more appropriate for the occasion.”
There’s a flicker of something dark in his eyes now, a warning I’m both thrilled and terrified to see. He doesn’t rise to the bait—not yet.
“All right then,” he says, his voice warm and daring. “Hit me with your best shot.”
I let out a small laugh, unable to help myself. “Oh, you asked for it,” I say, glancing down at the pages, pretending to search seriously for something profound.
My finger stops on a verse, and I try to keep a straight face as I look back up at him. “‘Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.’” I tilt my head innocently. “Words to live by, don’t you think?”
His chuckle resembles a dark purr. He steps closer, the movement slow and deliberate, as if he’s giving me time to rethink what I’ve just done.
As if he wants to make me sweat.
“You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?” he asks, and there’s a glint of amusement in his eyes, though it’s tempered by something far more serious.
I shrug, biting back a grin. “What can I say? You handed me a Bible and gave me free rein.”
He walks closer, and there’s a dangerous glint in his eyes as he snatches the Bible out of my hands.
“Julian said you like to be punished,” he says, and I see him look up at my husband. “What’s her least favorite punishment?”
I look over my shoulder at Julian, and he’s watching this all unfold with an amused smile.
“She has really sensitive nipples.”
I break out into a cold sweat, and as a scowl moves across my expression, he winks.
The bastards.
“They’re not that sensitive,” I say, trying to keep my voice even.
Kai doesn’t react immediately, but I notice the subtle way his jaw flexes, like he’s filing the information away for later. Julian’s eyes flick to him, and for a brief second, it feels like they’re speaking without words.
Julian knows exactly what kind of man Kai is—and how far he could push me if I let him.
“Noted,” he drawls. “And since you’re in the mood to challenge me,” he says, his voice low, “I think I have just the thing.”
He pauses for dramatic effect, letting his finger settle on one of the pages. “‘Whoever stubbornly refuses to accept criticism will suddenly be destroyed beyond recovery.’ Proverbs 29:1.” He looks up, his expression equal parts smug and amused. Prick . “Sounds like you might need a little lesson in obedience.”
I cross my arms with a smirk of my own. “Oh, is that so? And here I thought we were just reading Bible verses, not cherry-picking sermons.”
He drops to his knees so that we’re at eye level, leaning in and closing the Bible with a soft thud.
His voice is a low murmur. “Careful. Keep it up, and I might just have to remind you who’s in charge.”
I can’t help the laugh that escapes me, but something in his tone makes my cheeks warm. There’s something in his look that tells me he’s definitely not backing down.
“Yes, my lord.”
His eyes flash, and then he reaches around my chest to the clasp of my bra. In two seconds, my strapless bra springs off and falls to the ground. Kai’s gaze softens, his eyes tracing over me with a quiet intensity. The same hand that undid my bra runs through my hair, and it feels… really nice.
There’s a stillness to his touch, as if he’s saying a silent prayer.
“Stay here,” he says, standing up and walking to his bedside table. When he returns, my skin prickles with both dread and anticipation. It looks like a rosary, but there are two clamps attached with a beaded chain.
As he drops the rosary around my head, my body visibly shudders as the palms of his hands brush against my skin. “Sit up straight.”
I do as he says, keeping my spine straight. Tracking his movements, unease slithers through me when I see him adjust the clamps.
Julian and I had tried nipple clamps before, and it was altogether an unpleasant experience. I’m not the kind of woman who can get off when someone sucks my nipples, and Julian knows how sensitive they are. The idea of experiencing a clamp again gives me anxiety.
Kai crouches down in front of me, and just as the end of the rubberized clamp touches the delicate bud, I flinch and move away unconsciously.
His eyes come up to mine, brows pulled together. “You know your safe word, Sophie.” He’s right, I do. And I’m not afraid to use it. I open my mouth to tell him so, but he reaches out with one hand, tilting his head as he reveres me. “But I’d like you to trust me with this. I read the contract Julian sent me. I know your limits, and I know you don’t enjoy pain. This might be uncomfortable at first, and it might sting, but I’d like you to try it. For me.”
For me.
He tugs on my heartstrings with that—he knows how comfortable we’ve become around one another. We’ve gotten closer over the last few months. He’s never given me any reason to doubt him.
He’s my friend, and I do trust him.
“Okay,” I whisper.
“That’s my good girl,” he purrs, smirking as he deftly adjusts the clamps around my nipples.
They harden, tightening with every brush of his fingers, and I find myself squirming before him. He chuckles, and I hiss when he clamps my left nipple. It’s not as tight as I remember the last time I tried them, and I realize that Kai must’ve adjusted them somehow. Relaxing a bit, he does the other nipple, and other than a small quiver, I keep still until Kai stands up.
“Stand up, please.”
I do as he says, cheeks heating. There’s an element of humiliation to the clamps, especially with the rosary that hangs down to my navel, brushing my skin like a reminder of my submission. Despite the surrender I feel, a trace of shyness rises in me knowing Julian is watching, his gaze steady and appreciative. The clamps make me feel both exposed and adorned, every sensation heightened by the feeling of being “decorated”—on display just for him, vulnerable and yet treasured.
“Step out of your tights and underwear.”
Again, I obey him this time. A part of me feels like I’m wearing a leash of sorts, and if I defy him now, he might tighten the clamps or do something else I haven’t yet thought of.
Rolling the tights down, I step out of them along with my black thong, discarding them somewhere behind me. My eyes instinctively find the floor, but a second later, I feel Kai’s finger on my chin.
“Look at me,” he says softly.
I lift my eyes to meet Kai’s, and in that moment, it’s as if something shifts inside me. Julian is my husband, my foundation, the one I’ve always built my life around. But Kai’s gaze, steady and unwavering, stirs something I can’t quite name—a warmth I didn’t realize I was missing, a pull that tugs at the edges of my heart, making room where I never expected there to be any.
Julian has always been the only person I allow myself to feel something for, but right now?
His gaze feels intense and different from what I’ve experienced with other men. It might be admiration, or perhaps something deeper. This awareness between us is both unsettling and exciting. I swallow, unsure if I’m ready to acknowledge it. But he’s here, and we’re doing this, so I can’t deny it anymore.
And I feel immediate guilt because of it.
“Turn around and show your husband how fucking good you look right now,” Kai says, stepping away.
That same guilt fills me as I turn around, and I work to keep my expression neutral. Julian’s eyes track over my unreadable expression with ease, and though this has never happened before, he lifts a hand and crooks a finger, beckoning me over.
I’m torn—because on the one hand, Julian is my husband.
But I’m also doing a scene with Kai, and it feels disrespectful to break the scene when that’s not something we normally do.
One of Kai’s hands comes to my shoulder, brushing my hair to one side. His warm breath feathers against my ear, and I look back at him for approval.
“Go on, little dove.”
Opening my eyes, I slowly walk over to my husband. As I do, he unzips his pants and pulls his cock out. My eyes go wide as I step between his legs, and his free hand comes to the back of my thigh. That one small contact makes me want to cry—it grounds and tethers me to him, and whatever I was feeling before doesn’t feel so scary all of a sudden.
Just as I reach out for his arm, I feel Kai come up behind me.
My body stills.
This has most definitely never happened.
“Spread your legs,” Kai says, his breath fanning against my shoulder.
I hear him open a condom package, and though I really want to turn around and watch him roll it on, I keep my eyes on Julian, who is working his cock faster now. Julian doesn’t look away from me either, and as I spread my legs, something hot and unfamiliar snakes through me. Kai is in charge of me, but in a way, Julian is now involved.
And I really like the idea of that.
“What do you say?” Kai whispers, one hand coming to my arse and squeezing it.
I’m smart enough to know this is also a test. And in my research, I’d discovered that people with a religion kink liked to be worshiped. I also remember what he said over dinner the other night.
I ask them to obey, to trust, and sometimes even to worship.
Though I doubt we’ll be dabbling in edge play tonight, just the idea of following Kai off that cliff, of letting him guide me…
I take a breath, my voice steady but soft. “I submit to you, Father. I offer myself to you, to guide, to shape, to worship.” The words feel strange as they leave my lips.
But then I look over my shoulder and meet his eyes, and I realize that perhaps I’ve been waiting for this moment, this act of surrender. There’s something powerful in acknowledging the reverence, the devotion he’s asked for.
His pupils blow dark, and I let myself look down at his cock, which is now sheathed with a condom.
My mouth goes dry.
It’s thick and long, and I can see the purple head of his shaft pressing against the end of the condom. My wide eyes flick back up to his, and just as I ask how he thinks he’s going to fit that thing inside of me, one of his hands comes between my legs.
Kai’s thumb brushes over the cross dangling against my sternum, and his eyes flick to Julian, a small smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth.
“That’s a start,” he says softly. “But worship… that takes time. This is just the first prayer. There’s so much more I could teach you, if you’re willing.” The words hang between us, dripping with promise. “So fucking wet, little dove.”
Without a warning, he presses a finger inside of me, and I turn back around to face Julian.
He’s stroking himself, using spit to lube himself up. His breaths are coming in little pants, and he works himself faster the longer I watch him. The sight of my husband unraveling makes me clench around Kai’s fingers. And then my mouth drops open when Kai curves the finger inside of me. There’s something profound about touching Julian, about standing between his legs with one of his hands on the back of my thigh—as Kai fingers me. In all other instances of sleeping with other men, Julian isn’t involved at all. He just watches, and gives commands. But this?
It might be my new favorite way of doing this.
It feels right to include him.
Kai inserts a second finger, and my eyes roll into the back of my head as he slowly stretches my opening, curving his fingers and hitting that sacred spot inside of me.
“Oh God,” I whimper.
“That’s right.” His voice is low, commanding, sending a ripple of heat through me. “I am your god.” His voice is ragged from working my pussy, and there’s something about the way he says it—like he believes it, like he knows it—and a part of me can’t help but believe him too. Every touch, every command, pulls me deeper into this web of temptation, and I realize with a shiver that I’m more than willing to be caught.
My mouth drops open when he adds a third finger, but just as a low groan escapes my throat, he removes his fingers from inside of me.
“Bend over.”
There’s nowhere for me to go other than to hover over Julian, who’s watching me with wonder as he works himself faster, his breath stuttering. Placing my hands on the arms of the chair, Julian’s eyes flick down to the necklace and clamps. I’m leaning over so much that the rosary part is sitting right over his heart, and if I wanted to, I could bend my neck and kiss him on the lips.
Kai nudges my legs farther apart, and one of his hands comes to my arse. Julian’s gaze flicks to Kai’s hand between my legs, and for a brief second, something passes through his expression—something protective, almost territorial.
But he doesn’t stop him.
He’s letting this happen, but he’s watching closely. Always watching.
I hear Kai sigh contentedly from behind me. “Deep breaths, little dove. This might hurt.”