Holy Sinner (Gods and Sinners Duet #2)

Chapter 1

Chapter One

KIT

A DECADE EARLIER…

I know that I shouldn’t be excited about tonight. That if I am, it’ll piss my mother off. But I can’t help it. Tonight is the night that all of my dreams come true. It’s going to be perfect. Because tonight?

Tonight I’m going to prom with the cutest boy in school.

I sigh and stare at myself in the mirror, I have my dress held up against me and I can’t help but spin. It’s a halter with a sweetheart neckline that the sales lady said made me look sophisticated, so I instantly bought it. It’s a pretty pink that makes me think of summer and fun. I’ve never had a fun summer, but maybe this summer I will. The summer before my senior year. I know that all the juniors are going to prom tonight, that for a lot of them it isn’t their first time, but for me it is.

I smooth my hands over the dress. It took me months to save up the money to buy it. It was cash that I was going to use for my college fund, but when Mark asked me, I couldn’t say no. I would be crazy to say no to Mark Dixon. There isn’t a girl at school that hasn’t told me how lucky I am, how they’d trade spots with me in a heartbeat.

After Mark and Lisa broke up no one knew who he’d ask, but somehow it was me. I’ve never felt this special. Of course I used every dollar I could on my dress. If I look special enough tonight then I bet I can convince Mark to date me. He has to like me. Why else would he ask me to prom?

I hear the door slam shut and I freeze. My mother is home early. She isn’t supposed to be home yet. It’s only after four. I rushed to get here as soon as I could after the last period. Why is she here? I thought I’d be at prom by the time she came home from work and poured her evening glass of wine. I rush towards my closet when I hear her footsteps on the stairs. I have to hide the dress.

She’ll try and ruin it. Fuck. Why is she home?

I hadn’t really thought of a back up plan. I was so sure that I was going to get away from the house before she came home. I was willing to deal with whatever hell she brought down on me for not being here when she came home from work. That would be fine, because at least I’d get one magical night with Mark.

But now?

Now my one magical night is about to be ripped right out of my hands. It’s balanced on the edge of a cliff and getting closer to falling with each click of her heels across the living room floor.

“ Shit ,” I whisper. I yank out the wrap I wanted to use tonight. It’s a soft yellow, buttery soft silk and it flutters around me when I walk. I feel like a character out of one of the period dramas I love to sneak in the evenings when my mom is on a bender and raging downstairs. She’s angry on those nights, screaming about her lost youth and her worthless kid while she slams dishes and cupboard doors for hours on end. I don’t know what she’s looking for in the kitchen, I never do, but I listen for each scream and slam to keep track of where she is. On those nights, I make sure to stay locked away in my room, subsisting off the bottled water and snacks that I’ve stashed away. I learned quickly to keep food and water around in case my mother decided I needed to drop weight.

“You’re getting fat.”

“My side of the family doesn’t have hips like that. It’s your worthless fucking father’s blood.”

“No one is going to want a fat girlfriend. That’s embarrassing.”

My mother really likes pointing out just how different we are. She is petite and I am…well, I am the result of my worthless father. I’ve never met him. Don’t even know what he looks like, so I have to take her word for it. My grandmother really doesn't like talking about things that make my mother upset so she avoids it when I ask. In any case, even if she is lying, I know my mother can and will repeat a lie enough that she holds it as gospel truth. In her world, I am committing the unthinkable sin of actually taking up space in the world. My mother makes it her mission to make me shrink as much as possible. Bit by bit, cutting and slicing away at me, until I am whittled down to her liking.

I used to cry when she locked the fridge and pantry but I’ve learned to steal and put things away, so even if she tries to starve me, I won't go to bed hungry. I have the SATs to study for and a job to get to. I’m not going to be able to get the work I need done feeling faint because my mother is convinced my ass is too big.

I wrap the shawl tighter around my shoulders. “She doesn’t know anything. You’re beautiful.”

The words come easy, because they’re not mine.

They’re Mark Dixon’s.

He said them to me when he asked me to prom a month ago behind the art building. I was trying not to drop the paper mache sculpture I said I’d help the sophomores move into storage for safekeeping. Mrs. Kepler the art teacher used it every year to teach the human form for figure drawing. I don’t know why she did it. The balloons were old and long deflated, the curves the mache made over them had dips and dents and looked more like what a body would look like if it were broken. Something you might see after it was tossed off a building than anything students should be using for a figure drawing study.

But what did I know? I was just a junior trying to get out of town, so it’s not like I really paid all that much attention in art class. I did like to be helpful though, so I offered an extra pair of hands when I saw the sophomores struggling against the wind. Mrs. Kepler would throw a fit if they broke the paper mache any more than it already was, so I did what I always did.

I helped.

And that’s where Mark Dixon found me, with a misshapen paper mache figure balanced while the sophomores argued about what the combination to the lock to the storage shed was while we all stood outside in the wind. I didn’t care though, not even if it had taken them an hour to get that damn lock open, because Mark Dixon smiled at me. He smiled at me and called me beautiful.

“You’re beautiful, Kit. It’s easy to see why I’d want a special girl like you to go to prom with me.”

Special. Mark thought I was special.

“You’re special,” I whisper. It’s easier to say it when it’s not my words. Like trying on fancy borrowed clothing, so I say it again. “You’re beautiful. You’re special.” Mark’s words make me feel strong enough to ignore the footsteps I hear at the base of the stairs. I’m so attuned to my mother that I know where she is in our house without even trying. It’s a big house, two stories plus an attic with a massive kitchen and dining room that could seat ten. We have five bedrooms and three bathrooms. There’s a den and a living room, but we never use either.

I don’t know why my mother wanted such a big house when it’s only us. There’s a creak and a step and I wince. She’s coming upstairs. I’d rather she just stay in the kitchen, slamming her cabinets and screaming.

God. Why is she home? This isn’t fair. It’s supposed to be my one night. My one perfect night with Mark. I stare at my locked door. I know my mother is coming my way. There’s no reason she would be home when she isn’t supposed to be. She knows I’m here. She’s going to try and stop me from going to prom. How she knows I’m even going, I don’t know. I tried so hard to keep it a secret from her.

My phone beeps and I jump to grab it from the bed where I dropped it earlier. It’s a text from Mark.

Can’t wait to see you tonight, beautiful.

My insides go warm and I smile. Even with my mom about to try and ruin my evening, I smile. Mark is right. I am beautiful. I am special. And I’m not going to let my mother ruin my chance at being happy. Not tonight.

I shove the phone into the small clutch I picked out to match my dress and grab my car keys. I’m parked on the street, so I know if I can get past her I’ll be fine. Except, it’s crazy to even think that, because the stairs are the only way down and I can hear my mother’s high heels marching up them. My eyes go to the windows and I hesitate, but it's only for a second, because I hear my mother’s voice.

“Kit! Get your ass out here. Now!”

Fuck. There’s no time to be scared. I have to climb out the window. I sprint to the window and shove it up. There’s a ledge beneath it and a tree that reaches to my window. A thick limb rests right on the ledge and as cliche as it is, I’m going to use it to climb down. I’ve never used it before, because I’ve been too scared. But I am not giving up Mark. So I reach out and grab the nearest limb and pray it holds me.

By some miracle, it does. I inch out further from the ledge and it’s slow going until I hear my mother’s first shrill shriek. I locked my door, so it’ll keep her out, but if I know that sound she’s going to try and kick it open. She’s done it before and I know she’ll do it tonight. I climb faster and faster until bark cuts my palms. I nearly fall when my heel slips and I wince when I feel the sharp stab of a limb in my side as it snags the fabric of my shawl. I do my best, but my skirt gets caught along the way and by the time I’m able to get to the ground I know my dress is torn in at least two spots.

It doesn’t matter though, because I’m free.

I look up at the tree and to the window that I just climbed out of. “Holy shit!” I laugh and shake my head. I feel invincible. I’ve never done anything like this. I usually fold when my mother gets in these moods, but I feel stronger. Like I can do anything. It’s because of Mark. I know it is.

“ Kit !” My mother’s scream is frantic. Like a wild animal. I have to get away now. If she catches me it’ll be…well, it’ll be hell. She’ll make me pay eventually, but I want to enjoy myself first. Just this one time.

I turn and sprint across the lawn on my tiptoes to keep my heels from sinking into the manicured lawn. I reach my car and manage to slide behind the wheel when I hear my mother scream again.

“You ungrateful cunt !” There’s a flash of movement and I look to my window and see her hanging out of it. She looks like she’s going to try and climb after me. Anger bubbles up bright and sharp and I hope she does try and follow me out the window. I want her to fall and break her neck. I want her dead.

She doesn’t follow me, though. But she does keep screaming at me. “ Kit !” The neighbors will hear, they’ll come and look and see her where she is. Body half out the window and waving her arms at me like I’m the crazy one.

I start the car and floor it. She’s not catching me. Tonight, I’m free.