Chapter 7 #2
Erin poured herself a vodka and soda on ice, hoping for some liquid courage to deal with a situation that was rapidly spinning out of her control.
She made the same drink for him, and they joined the others.
Slim sat next to her on the sofa, his leg pressed tight against hers, his arm stretched out behind her.
While the others laughed and talked about the McCarthys’ anniversary party, plans for the upcoming holidays, Lizzie’s health care facility project and other island gossip, Erin tried to find the equilibrium that had deserted her when Slim arrived.
As exciting as it had been to be on the receiving end of his affection, it was still possible to stop this before it went any further.
They hadn’t made each other any promises.
They hadn’t done things that couldn’t be undone.
Yet.
If the heated make-out session earlier and her reaction to seeing him again after a few hours apart were any indication, the status quo wouldn’t last much longer.
This was happening, and she’d encouraged it by asking him to stay with her.
She’d encouraged it with every hour she’d spent flirting by text, on the phone and FaceTime with him over the last few months.
But now that he was here, sitting right next to her and obviously wanting more of what they’d had earlier, she was scared to cross that invisible line between flirty fun and seriously committed.
With the exception of her family and a few close friends like Jenny, she’d made being noncommittal an art form, living her life on the surface without delving below to see what she might find.
The surface had worked fine for her. No one got hurt on the surface.
Everything was simpler there, cleaner. This situation with him was getting complicated and messy, and she already ached at the thought of him leaving.
So what would it be like when he actually left and they were forced to go back to texts, phone calls and FaceTime to stay in touch?
Would he want to stay in touch if they had a hot and heavy fling while he was here? Maybe a fling was all he wanted anyway.
This, right here, was why she avoided entanglements at all costs. So how had she found herself firmly entangled in this enigmatic man?
It had happened the night he told her his real name. Nothing had been simple after hearing he shared a name with her beloved brother.
“Hey,” he said, nudging her with his shoulder. “Where’d you go?”
She emerged from her thoughts to find that Evan McCarthy and Grace Ryan had arrived with her friend Fiona, Evan’s brother Adam and his fiancée, Abby Callahan.
“Nowhere,” she said in response to Slim’s inquiry.
“You’re not overthinking things by any chance, are you?”
“What? No. I’m not doing that.” Scalded by his insight, she tried to escape, mumbling something about helping Jenny in the kitchen.
He took her hand, stopping her. “You want to go?”
“I…” She wanted to go, and she wanted to stay, to buy herself some time to figure out what was happening to her and how to get it under control while she still could.
He watched her with those knowing eyes that saw right through her bullshit and found the heart of her more easily than any man before him ever had. “Let’s go.”
“I, um, Jenny…”
“She’ll understand.”
And she would. Erin had no doubt about that. “Okay.”
They made their excuses to Jenny, who was far too pleased about the development for Erin’s liking.
“Call me in the morning and tell me everything,” Jenny said as she hugged her. “Take notes so you don’t forget anything.”
“Stop it.”
“You stop it.”
“What am I doing?”
“Other than freaking out?”
“I’m not doing that.”
“No?”
Erin could fool some people but not Jenny. Never Jenny. “Maybe a little.”
“It’s going to be okay. I promise.”
“You can’t know that for certain.”
“None of us can, but one thing I know for certain is that a life half lived is no life at all.”
And what, really, could Erin say to that?
After shaking hands with the McCarthy and Martinez brothers, Slim held out a hand to Erin, who was still reeling from Jenny’s pronouncement. “Ready?”
Eyeing his hand the same way she might an unpinned grenade, she nodded and let him help her into her coat and lead her from the house.
“Leave your car here,” he said. “We’ll get it in the morning.”
“Oh. Okay.” Relieved not to have to drive, she let him help her into the passenger side of his truck and tried to put on her seat belt. Her fingers were like a bunch of thumbs, refusing to behave, which was why she was still fumbling with the seat belt when he got in and clipped it for her.
He turned on the engine and cranked the heat. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.”
“Could you not do that? Could you not say it’s nothing when anyone who knows you even a little can see it’s something?”
Remember that thing about the way he saw her? Yeah. So…
“Have you changed your mind about this, Erin? If you have, all you’ve got to do is say so. I’ll be disappointed, but I’ll leave you alone if that’s what you want.”
Suddenly, that was the very last thing she wanted. “I don’t want you to leave me alone. But I also don’t want…”
“What?” His hand was warm upon her cheek as he caressed her face so tenderly it brought tears to her eyes.
“I don’t want you to hurt me. And you could. You could so easily.”
“Erin, sweetheart… God, that’s the last thing I’d ever want to do.” The seat belt he’d just clipped was released, and he lifted her right out of her seat onto his lap and into his arms.
“How’d you do that?” she asked, stunned by his strength and how quickly he’d reacted.
“I will not hurt you. I promise.”
Moved by the ferocity behind his words, she said, “You can’t promise that.”
“I can promise I’ll do everything I can to make you happy if you give me the chance. That’s all I’m asking for. A chance, and that’s more than I’ve wanted from anyone, if that tells you anything.”
“I’m afraid.”
“Why?”
“I don’t do things like this. Not anymore. It’s been so long, I… I may have forgotten how.”
“You’re doing fine so far.” He kissed her softly and sweetly, making her head spin with awareness and desire and a craving need for more that took her by surprise. How could she be trying to wiggle her way out one minute and craving more the next?
“We should probably talk before this goes any further,” she said.
“We probably should.” He kissed her again, drawing her bottom lip into his mouth and running his tongue over it.
Erin gasped and fisted handfuls of his coat, needing to hold on to something. “That’s not talking,” she said when he released her lip.
“It’s communication of a different sort.” Holding her close to him, he said, “We’ve done a lot of talking in the last few months, but we haven’t talked about what it is we’re doing here.”
“No, we haven’t. And we need to. Before anything else happens.”
“Anything else. Is that what the kids are calling it these days?”
Erin laughed at his predictably witty reply. His humor had attracted her from the first night they met, and it made whatever they were doing easier than it would be otherwise. “You’ve got to let me go so you can drive us home.”
“In a second.” He held her for another full minute before he released her to climb back to her own seat. “Jenny probably thinks we’re getting busy out here.”
“Hopefully, she’s entertaining her guests and not paying attention to what we’re doing.”
He steered the truck toward the long driveway that took them past the greenhouses on the way to the main road. “Oh, she’s paying attention.”
“What do you mean?”
“She watches over you like a mother hen. No harm shall come to you under her watch.”
“She’s more my sister than my friend. I think she’d kill for me.”
“So noted. I vow to never give her a reason to kill for you.”
Though his tone was joking, she believed the underlying sentiment was sincere.