Chapter 21
Twenty-One
Over the next several days, Slim and Erin took turns with her mother, making sure someone was always at the hospital. They grabbed meals and sleep when they could, between short visits with her dad, who was a little better every day.
Eventually, they moved him from ICU to a regular room, which was a big milestone. Erin and her mom worked the phones, looking for a rehab facility close to home where he could complete his recovery after he was released from the hospital.
Hearing that the rehab could take weeks, Erin made the decision to stay in Pennsylvania to support her parents until her dad was finally home.
“I have to go back to the island today,” Slim said over breakfast in her mother’s kitchen on the morning of New Year’s Eve. “My close friend is getting married,” he said of Adam McCarthy. “I need to be there.”
“I understand,” Erin said, though she was bereft at the thought of even a day without him after all the time they’d spent together.
“I wish you could come with me.”
“So do I.”
“That’s progress on all fronts. One, that you want to be with me, and two, that you’d have to fly with me to get there.”
“I definitely want to be with you. The flying? Still not high on my to-do list, but getting the first time out of the way was huge. I… I’ve been thinking I might see about an appointment with Dr. McCarthy when I get back to the island to work on my long list of issues.”
“Your list isn’t that long.”
“It’s longer than you think. Have you noticed that I need everything just so, that I’m constantly arranging and rearranging?
Or that I have to touch things with my left hand or something awful will happen to someone I love?
My OCD is about having control over things—or the perception of control, anyway. ”
He reached for her hand and linked their fingers. “People don’t get to our age without baggage, Erin. We’ve all got stuff. Yours doesn’t make you any less attractive to me, in case you were wondering.”
“That’s nice to hear,” she said, smiling at him. How would she live without that gorgeous face to look at all day every day? “What am I supposed to do for fun without you around?”
“Call me? FaceTime? Text?”
She made a pout face. “Hard to go back to that after the last eleven days.”
“I want you to think about coming to Evan’s wedding and to Florida after. Talk to Mr. McCarthy. He’ll help you find a way to be gone from the lighthouse for a couple of months.”
“That’ll be asking a lot after leaving the way I did to come here.”
“It won’t hurt to ask. I’ll even put in a good word for you.”
“You’re sweet to want to help and to want me underfoot in Florida.”
He kissed her hand and nibbled on her knuckles, which set off fireworks inside her. That was all he had to do to get her motor running. “I want you more than underfoot. I want you under me in bed, on top of me, next to me. I want you, Erin Barton.”
Moved and aroused by his passionate words, she said, “I want you, too.”
“We’re going to figure this out. I promise.”
“You’re awfully certain.”
“I’m certain that I’ve waited a long time to feel this way about someone, and there’s no way I’m going to let you slip through my fingers.”
Keeping her hand linked with his, Erin got up to go around the countertop to where he was sitting. She stepped between his legs and let go of his hand to put her arms around him. “I’m going to miss you like crazy.”
“Same goes, sweetheart.”
“I’m not ready for our time together to be over.”
“It’s not over. It’s just getting started.” He drew back from her, framed her face in his hands and kissed her.
Erin wanted so badly to believe him that this was the beginning and not the end, but she was programmed to expect the worst. Her heart was heavy with dread and worry for his safety when she drove him to the airport later that morning in her dad’s prized Audi.
She pulled up to the curb and got out to see him off.
He put his backpack on the sidewalk and wrapped her up in a tight hug. “I’ll see you soon, okay?”
“Okay.” The air was so cold, their warm breath made clouds around them.
“You believe me?”
“I want to.”
“Have some faith.” He kissed her one last time, mindless of where they were and who might be watching as he left her with no doubt whatsoever that he wanted her more than ever. When he pulled back from her, they were both breathless and aroused and, at least in her case, despondent.
“Let me know that you get there okay.”
“I will. And I’ll check on you later, too. You’ll hear from me so much, you’ll get sick of me.”
“Not possible.”
“We’ll see about that,” he said, flashing the rakish grin that she adored.
He gave her another quick kiss and lifted his backpack onto his shoulder.
Walking backward, he made his way to the terminal where he’d told her he could cut through to the area where his plane was housed.
Smiling at her, he waved before he turned to go inside.
Erin got back in the car and wiped away tears that she told herself were from the cold, but her heart knew better.
It already ached without him by her side to make her laugh and smile and to tell her everything would be all right.
It had taken just over a week for him to become essential to her, and now he was leaving for who knew how long.
He had to be back in Florida tomorrow night for a scheduled trip to the Bahamas the next day.
The next break in his schedule was for Evan’s wedding on the eighteenth of January, which was almost three weeks away.
Erin used the time it took to drive to the hospital to indulge in the emotional wallop of Slim’s departure.
She pulled into the parking lot and tried to rally her spirits so she could be supportive of her parents, but her spirits were low today, and there was no hiding that from her mother when they connected outside her dad’s room.
“So he’s left?” Mary Beth asked.
“Yes, just now. How’s Dad?”
“He had a good night. They’ve taken him for a few tests. Now back to your Slim. He’s a lovely, lovely guy, but I don’t suppose I have to tell you that.”
As her eyes filled once again, Erin shook her head. “No, you don’t.”
Mary Beth hugged her. “What’re you going to do about him?”
“I don’t know yet.”
“Has he said he wants to see you again?”
“You could say that,” Erin said, laughing. “The first day he was home on Gansett, he asked me to come back to Florida with him for the rest of the winter.”
“Are you going?”
“I don’t know yet. I’d love to spend more time with him, but I made a commitment to the town and the lighthouse. I’m building a new life on Gansett, and I love it there.”
“I’m so glad you’ve found a place you love, Erin, but Gansett will still be there if you take some time away.”
“I know. I’m thinking about it.”
“Do you love him?”
Leave it to Mom to ask the hard questions. “I think I might, but it’s been so long since I’ve loved a guy that I don’t remember how to do it.”
“Sure, you do. I’ve spent the last week with you two. If you’re not in love with him—and vice versa—then I know nothing about love. I’ve never seen any man look at you the way he does, as if you personally hung the moon.”
“He’s very special.”
“I hope you’ll give him an honest, genuine chance to make you happy.
I haven’t seen you smile or laugh as much as you do with him in a very long time.
Last night, Dad said you light up around him.
I completely agree, and I’ve thought so since I first saw you with him last fall.
I told Dad then that this guy was going to be something special to you. ”
From the first night she met him, she’d had the same feeling.
“You know what the most beautiful thing is about being an adult?” Mary Beth asked.
“What’s that?”
“You can do anything you want—or not do anything you want. It’s entirely up to you.”
“That’s sort of the problem. I’m paralyzed with indecision.
It would be different, I think, if he lived where I do and we could date like normal people, but for most of the year, he’s elsewhere.
Being with him would require me to change my whole life, and I’m not sure I’m prepared to do that again. I’ve already done it too many times.”
Mary Beth leaned back against the wall. “That’s true, you have, and I can see why the thought of doing it again doesn’t appeal, especially when you’ve found a place that makes you so happy and have started to put down roots.
But think of it this way—you’ve never had a better reason to turn your life upside down. ”
Her mother made a good point.
They were interrupted by the hospital employee who was working with Mary Beth to get Tom a spot in a rehabilitation facility close to their home.
Erin listened to what they were saying and participated in the conversation, but she kept thinking about what her mother had said.
She was thinking about it when Slim texted to let her know he was safely back on Gansett and already missing her.
She thought about it during the afternoon she spent with her dad while her mom went home to shower and change.
She thought about it on the ride back to her parents’ home later and when she took her own shower.
She was still thinking about it when she got into bed in the final minutes of the year, desperately wishing she was at the wedding with Slim and could kiss him at midnight.
And when her phone rang exactly at midnight, a smile stretched across her face because she knew it had to be him.
Slim had left the revelry of Adam’s wedding to find a quiet corner at midnight. It hadn’t even been twelve hours since he’d last seen her, and he was already dying for her. If he’d needed proof of how bad he had it for her, today had been an excellent wake-up call.
“Happy New Year,” she said when she answered.
The sound of her voice quieted the agitation he’d been carrying around since he left her. “Happy New Year, beautiful.”
“How was the wedding?”