Chapter 22 #2
“I told the shrink that you kids would think I’m making excuses, and he said you can think whatever you want as long as I tell you the truth.
I swear on my life I’m telling you the truth, and it’s something I’d never told anyone until I told him—even your mother has never heard any of this.
She only knew that there was no love lost between me and my father.
You were lucky you never knew him. The sadistic bastard died before you were born.
One of the best days of my life was when he was hit by a car crossing the street.
As far as I was concerned, he’d gotten exactly what was coming to him, but his rage…
It was like he left it all to me. The first time I hit your mother was the day he died.
I was wrong to do that. I knew it then. I know it now, but…
It was like something would come over me, and I’d lose control of myself.
The shrink… He’s helping me see how it’s all connected—what was done to me and what I did to all of you.
I’m not making excuses. I swear that’s not what this is.
I just… I wanted a chance to say I-I’m sorry for what I did, Owen, to you and the others.
You all deserved better than me, and I won’t bother you anymore after this.
I just… I wanted you to know. I’m sorry.
Will you tell the others? Will you tell your mother? ”
Owen couldn’t breathe, let alone speak. Tears flooded his eyes, blinding him. He’d never heard his father say so many words at one time, unless they were angry words.
“Owen, are you there?”
Clearing the huge lump from his throat, he said, “I’m here.”
“Will you tell them?”
“Yeah, I will.”
“Two other things I want to say, and then I’ll let you go.
The first is that if you’re ever so angry with your wife or your kids that you feel you could harm them, get help.
Get help right away. If I’d done that, my life would’ve turned out so different.
Tell your brothers I said that, okay? Tell them to get help if it happens to them. ”
Owen took deep breaths as the tears continued to flow. “What’s the second thing?”
“No matter how it might’ve seemed, I loved you all. I loved you very much.”
Owen had absolutely nothing to say to that.
“Thank you for taking my call. I’ll sign the papers for your mother right away and get them back to the lawyer.”
“Dad…”
“Yes?”
“Thank you for telling me.”
“Least I could do. You’ll tell your mother I said… Tell her I said to be happy. She’s certainly earned the right.”
Owen wiped away more tears. “I’ll tell her.”
“Take care, son.” And then he was gone, having dropped an emotional bomb into Owen’s lap, changing everything he knew to be true in one ten-minute conversation.
He ended the call and took a deep breath, trying to regain control of his emotions. “Sure as shit wasn’t expecting that.”
“Oh my God, Owen.”
That was when he realized Laura was crying, too. He reached for her, and they held each other as they tried to comprehend what his father had told him.
“What’re you thinking and feeling?” she asked after a long silence. “I can’t even begin to know.” She raised a hand to his face to wipe away his tears.
“I… I don’t know either. All I’ve ever done is hate him. I don’t know how to think of him as anything other than a monster. But hearing that…”
“You believe him?”
“I do, and you want to know why? Because General Mark Lawry would never, ever admit to anything that smacked of weakness, even to further his own agenda. There’s no way he would’ve told me something like that if it wasn’t true.”
“Come lie down with me.”
They crawled into bed and came together in the middle, arms and legs intertwined, her head on his chest.
“Now I have to tell everyone else about this. How do I do that?”
“The same way he told you. He came to you with this because he knew you’d be strong enough to handle it the same way you’ve handled everything else for your family all these years.”
“I guess.”
“It’s true, Owen. He chose you, despite your differences, because he has faith in you to take care of the others.”
“Will you take care of me while I take care of them?”
“Always.” She pushed herself up on one elbow so she could kiss him.
Needing her desperately, Owen grasped handfuls of her long hair and held her close to him, losing himself in the sweetness and heat of a kiss that became desperate and needy in no time at all.
Whenever he was drowning, she was there to save him, to anchor him, and he loved her more with every passing day.
Without her, the bomb his father had just dropped in his lap would’ve blown the lid off his life. With her, it was shocking but manageable. They’d figure out the way forward together, and knowing that made it possible for him to cope.
“Let me,” she whispered against his lips, rising to straddle him. Her baby belly made this the most comfortable position for her, which was fine with him. She groaned as she took him in.
“Don’t say it.”
“Why not? Did you or did you not get more than your share?”
Owen wouldn’t have thought it possible to laugh or smile, but she showed him otherwise as she came down on him, taking him in until he was fully seated in her tight heat. Making love with her was as close as he’d ever come to heaven, and he couldn’t get enough.
She shuddered on top of him, proving that while he might’ve gotten more than his share, she loved every bit of what he had to give.
Rocking in a slow, sensual rhythm, she drove him mad as he tried to remain still, to let her set the pace.
He was always so afraid of hurting her, so he kept his hands on her hips and tried not to lose his mind as she rode him.
With her head thrown back and the faint glow of the lights from outside illuminating her pale skin, she looked like a goddess come to life. She was his goddess, the love of his life, his reason for being and the only one who could make him forget his painful past, even if only for a while.
“Owen,” she whispered.
“I’m here, baby. What do you need?”
“You. Just you.”
He sat up, wrapped his arms around her and held her as she came, taking him with her into bliss. There was no other word for what they found together. “Love you, Laura. I’d be losing my mind if I didn’t have you to hold me together.”
“I love you, too, and I’ll always be here to hold you together if you do the same for me.”
“Nothing else I’d rather do.”