Chapter 11
We never know the love of a parent till
we become parents ourselves.
—Henry Ward Beecher
The next half hour passed in a blur of comfort even as the monitor recorded increasingly strong contractions.
Thank God for drugs, Hannah thought. Right after two in the morning, the doctor returned to check her again and declared her ready to push.
Hannah felt another twinge of panic. What if she couldn’t do it? What if she wasn’t strong enough or—
“Hannah.”
While the nurses scurried around the room, making it ready for delivery, she looked up at her husband, who watched over her with the fierce love she’d come to expect from him.
“Focus. You got this. You’re the strongest person I know. There’s nothing you can’t do if you set your mind to it.”
He said exactly what she needed to hear, but that was no surprise. He knew her better than anyone, even Hunter.
Oh God. Hunter! “I can’t do this without Hunter. He should be here.” She began to cry again at the thought of her twin hundreds of miles from her while she brought her first child into the world.
“Think about what a great surprise he’ll come home to,” Nolan said, stroking her hair. “You want your mom?”
“Just you,” she said, clinging to his hand.
“We got this, Hannah. You and me.”
The nurse directed him to get on the bed behind her to support her while she pushed.
Her legs were raised on contraptions attached to the bed and spread so far apart as to be comical under any other circumstances.
While she was spread-eagle, people came in and out of the room, focused on the individual roles that were routine to them.
“It’s funny,” she said to Nolan.
“What is?”
“I’ve got my hoo-ha out and proud for the whole world to see, and they walk around like it’s no big deal.”
“It isn’t to them.”
“It sure is to us.”
“Your hoo-ha is a huge big deal to me.”
Hannah wouldn’t have thought it possible to laugh. “Hopefully, it still will be after you witness what’s about to happen here.”
He kissed her cheek and tightened his hold on her. “It will always be a big deal to me. You, my love, are the biggest of big deals to me.”
“I won’t be quite so big after I get this baby out.”
“Love you, Hannah. If it gets to be too much for you, hold on to me.”
“That’s the plan.” She looked back at him. “Love you, too.”
Sitting on a chair, the doctor rolled into position between Hannah’s legs and eyed the monitor that tracked contractions. “You ready to rock and roll, Hannah?”
Nolan squeezed her hand.
“We’re ready.”
“Okay, here we go. Let’s give it a big push.”
Hannah pushed as hard as she could. The epidural made it so she could feel only the pressure, which was tremendous, but no pain.
“That was good,” the doctor said. “Just like that again.”
Nolan fed her ice chips, wiped the sweat and tears from her face and supported her through each push. Having him to lean on made all the difference.
She wanted to sleep, but the contractions were coming fast and furious, each one of them a new chance to push.
“One more big one, Hannah,” the doctor said in that endlessly cheerful tone that had Hannah wishing for the wherewithal to punch her.
“Ready, sweetheart?” Nolan asked.
Replying would take focus she didn’t have to spare. She took a huge breath and pushed with every ounce of reserve fortitude she could muster. She pushed until she felt the pressure let up and then sagged into Nolan’s arms.
“You have a girl!”
“You did it, honey,” Nolan said, sounding tearful behind her.
For once, the doctor’s cheerfulness didn’t annoy her. She was too full of unreasonable joy to be annoyed about anything. A girl. They had a girl!
The OB immediately handed off the baby to the neonatal specialist, who whisked her to a warmer they had set up on the other side of the room.
“Why is she so quiet? Isn’t she supposed to cry?”
“She’s taking it all in,” the neonatal specialist said.
“It’s okay that she didn’t cry?”
“It’s fine, but she’s small. Just over four pounds, and she’ll need some time in the NICU for her lungs to develop further.”
“Can I see her?” Hannah asked through tears that blinded her.
“Just for a few minutes,” the neonatal doctor said. “These little ones lose their body heat very quickly, so we need to get her into the warmer.”
He brought her to them, attached to oxygen and wrapped in a soft yellow blanket, and carefully placed her in Hannah’s arms. She’d never seen a smaller baby, and a pang of fear struck in the vicinity of her heart. “She’s going to be okay?” Hannah asked the specialist.
“She should be fine in a few weeks, but we’ll know more after we’re able to fully evaluate her.”
“Oh my God,” Nolan said. “Look at her. She’s so perfect.”
Hannah had to agree that she’d never seen anything more perfect than the tiny baby with the big eyes and the dusting of dark hair. “Hi, baby girl.” She caressed the baby’s soft cheek with her fingertip.
After some additional pressure when she delivered the placenta, Hannah was filled with new energy now that she had her baby in her arms. “I can’t believe she’s finally here.”
“What’s her name?” one of the nurses asked.
Hannah looked up at Nolan, who spoke for both of them. “Her name is Caleb Abbott Roberts after Hannah’s first husband and my close friend who died in Iraq. We’re going to call her Callie.”
“That’s a beautiful, unique name for a beautiful, unique little girl,” the OB said. “And a very special tribute to a fallen hero.”
Hannah had never loved Nolan more than when he’d suggested they name their baby after Caleb, whether they had a boy or a girl.
They’d gone round and round about what they’d do if they had a daughter.
Hannah wasn’t sure about naming a girl Caleb, but Nolan had insisted that calling her Callie would be perfect, and any daughter of Hannah’s would be strong enough to handle a different sort of name.
“Thank you,” Nolan said to the doctor. “We think so, too.”
“You want me to get your parents?” one of the nurses asked Hannah when the doctor had finished tending to her.
“If you wouldn’t mind.”
“Of course.”
Hannah couldn’t take her eyes off the adorable little face and the eyes that seemed to take it all in, even though Hannah knew she couldn’t actually see much of anything yet. “She looks so wise, doesn’t she?”
“I was thinking the same thing. She’s beautiful, like her mother.”
“And her father.”
“Thank you so much for her, Hannah. I’m so proud of you.”
She leaned her head against his shoulder. “I’m proud of us. We make a great team.”
“We sure do.”
“Thank you again for her name. I really love it, and I love you for suggesting it.”
“In all these months, I never had another name in mind for our child.”
A knock on the door preceded Molly and Lincoln into the room, both wearing huge smiles.
“Come meet your new granddaughter,” Nolan said.
“Oh, a girl,” Molly said, dabbing at her eyes.
“Look at her,” Linc said gruffly. “She’s perfect.”
“Her mom was a warrior,” Nolan said. “As always.”
“I would expect nothing less from my daughter,” Linc said, leaning over to kiss Hannah and take a closer look at the baby. “What’s her name?”
“Caleb Abbott Roberts,” Hannah said. “We’re going to call her Callie.”
“What a perfect name.” Molly dealt with a new flood of tears. “Amelia and Bob will be so very touched,” she said of Caleb’s parents.
“I’m so glad you agree,” Hannah said.
“I love her name,” Linc said. “Callie. This is my granddaughter, Callie.”
Hannah reluctantly handed over her precious package to the doctor and relaxed against Nolan, a feeling of peace coming over her now that the delivery was behind her and the baby had safely arrived.
To Nolan, she said, “Will you call Amelia and Bob?” In another lifetime, they would’ve been there, awaiting the arrival of their grandchild.
In this lifetime, they would be beloved extra grandparents to baby Callie.
“I’ll take care of it,” he said. “You rest and don’t worry about anything.”
Hannah closed her eyes, only for a minute, or so she told herself. She had a daughter to care for.
Grayson woke to the sound of voices and bright sunshine beaming into the room where he’d fallen asleep despite his plans to relocate downstairs. At least he was alone in the bed where Emma had been sleeping.
The voices, he realized, belonged to her and Simone.
A glance at the monitor showed Emma in bed with her daughter, the two of them talking in low voices.
He wanted to know what they were saying and how Simone was feeling, but he wasn’t sure if Emma would want him to reveal himself or the fact that he’d spent the night.
His curiosity about Simone’s condition won out. He got up, made the bed and used the bathroom across the hall to clean up before he ducked his head into the room next door to check on them.
“How’s the patient this morning?” he asked.
“Grayson! What’re you doing here?” Simone asked.
“I came to see how you were feeling. How’s your arm?”
Emma smiled at him from her perch next to her daughter, nodding her head to invite him into the room.
“It’s sore, but not like it was yesterday. I’m just sad that I can’t ski again today. I loved it.”
Grayson sat on the foot of the bed. “I heard you were really good at it, too.”
“You did? Did Colton say that?”
“Yep,” Grayson said. “He told me you were great at it.”
Simone beamed with pleasure at hearing that. “I want to do it again as soon as my arm is better.”
“What do you ladies have planned for today?” he asked.
“Not skiing,” Simone said glumly.
“Taking it easy,” Emma said.
“Which is no fun,” Simone replied.
“I know something fun we can do,” Grayson said, deciding to go forward with his plan now that he knew Simone was feeling okay. “I’ll pick you up in two hours. Dress warm.”
“What is it?” Simone asked.
“You’ll see,” he said with a mysterious smile as he stood to leave the room. “See you soon.”
“Grayson,” Simone said.
Turning back, he said, “Yes?”
“Thanks for coming over to check on me. That was really nice of you.”
Touched by her sweetness, he said, “Of course. No problem.” He went downstairs to let the dogs out and was putting on his coat in the mudroom when Linc and Molly came in.
“How’s Hannah?” Grayson asked.
“She’s wonderful. We have a new granddaughter, Caleb Abbott Roberts, who will be known as Callie. She’s tiny, but a fighter. The doctors say she should be fine after a few weeks in the NICU to give her lungs time to develop some more.”
“I’m so glad she’s okay,” Grayson said, profoundly moved by Hannah and Nolan’s tribute to Caleb. “And I love her name.”
“We agree that it’s a very special name for a special little girl,” Linc said. “How’s Simone?”
“She’s good. She slept through the night and is more bummed that she can’t ski again today than anything.”
“That’s a relief. It was good of you to stay with them.”
Grayson raised a brow. “Really?”
“Were you expecting disapproval?” Molly asked, amused. “You’re thirty-six years old, Gray. We love Emma and Simone, and we love you and Emma as a couple.”
“You do?”
“We do. She’s lovely.”
“She certainly is. It’s just… well… complicated.”
Molly reached up to put her hands on his shoulders. “I’ll tell you the same thing I told Will when he was in this very same situation—if she means something to you, do something about it. If it’s meant to be, you’ll find a way.”
“Is it possible to know if it’s meant to be in just a few days?”
Molly glanced at her husband.
“We knew the day we met that this was going to be something big and potentially life-changing,” Lincoln said, smiling at his wife.
“A week ago, I would’ve said that wasn’t possible for me,” Grayson said. “Now…”
“Oh, Gray,” Molly said, hugging him. “I’m so happy to hear you say that. I’ve so hoped you would find someone amazing. No one deserves it more than you do.”
“Why do you say that?”
She looked up at him with exasperation and amusement. “With everything you did for your mother and siblings, you really have to ask why I’d say that?”
He shrugged off her praise. “I did what anyone would do in that situation.”
“No,” Linc said, “you did more than any sixteen-year-old boy should ever have to do. And your aunt is right. No one I know deserves a happy ending more than you do.”
“You flatter me. Both of you.”
“We speak only the truth,” Molly said. “You want some coffee before you head out?”
“I’ll grab some at Mom’s. I’ve got a surprise to set up for a very sweet little girl who hurt her arm.”
“What’ve you got up your sleeve?” Linc asked.
“You’ll see.” He kissed his aunt and shook his uncle’s hand. “Thanks for always being right there for me. It hasn’t gone unnoticed.”
“We’re always here for you and your siblings,” Linc said. “That’ll never change.”
“Means the world to us,” Grayson said. “I’ll be back in a bit.”
“We’ll be the zombie grandparents asleep on the sofas,” Molly said.
“We’re getting way too old for an all-nighter,” Linc added.
“You guys are just getting started.”
“If you say so,” Molly said, heading for the coffeepot.